RYST

  I was aglow with silverly light. I was a dagger of light. No, I was surrounded in gold. It was bursting. It was every orgasm I’d ever had, and it was no orgasm at all. It was exploding light.

  I sat up, grabbing my head and rocking. Someone was behind me. A strong arm wrapped around my middle and pulled me against something warm and comforting. The best thing. The most belonging and wonderful golden warmth that could exist. I felt long, slow deep breaths behind me. No, the deep breaths were within me. I felt his presence.

  Is it the marriage again, Methela? I felt him say.

  I shook my head. Not right. Too much. Too much. It was too big. I gasped for breath. Something pushed down onto me. I had to see it. What — what? It had been a word.

  “Wife,” I whispered. “Wife, was the trigger.”

  Wife, I really like it. Keep calling me that, I felt to him.

  The word “wife” felt it like a love song, like a gentle whisper against my being.

  Methela, methela. My wife. My heart. My love. My love. Wife. Wife. I love you.

  Yes. That was what I wanted. And it was so much more. We were so much more. I belonged to him. Not just with him. I belonged to him.

  I felt him. He knew what I had just thought. The greater part of him, the whole of his being, everything that was Nayth in this world and beyond agreed.

  But my Nayth, the man who held me in his arms hitched a little. Possession wasn’t something he was comfortable with. A man doesn’t possess a woman. He would not have a harem. That was ridiculous.

  We didn’t need to have a conversation because we were working it out within the field of light. It wasn’t about possessions or contracts or who owned what, or assets.

  It was about belonging, and our world didn't understand belonging to each other.

  Belonging wasn't because we owned. It was because we chose.

  We had just chosen each other. We'd both said, “Will you marry me?” And we'd both chosen, “Yes.”

  I saw it then. We’d keep choosing again and again for decades and centuries and eternities beyond. It would always be a choice, and we had already chosen “yes."

  I saw it in the light. It was something too big to see.

  Nayth’s right arm was around my waist while his left hand traced down my left arm. I hadn’t realized that my arm was raised, reaching out in front of me. His hand surrounded mine, finger pointing just like mine. My index finger pointed straight out in front of me.

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  I suddenly realized that Nayth didn’t see the light, and he was trying to see what I was seeing. I relaxed my shoulders and leaned against him.

  I felt him. I felt what he was to me. That feeling that was my Ahtah. What he had always felt like to me. Solid and sturdy. I'd had nightmares years ago, and he'd always taken me out of them by my waist and held me to him.

  Completely safe. Completely sure.

  Certainty. Certainty. That was Nayth Carmidee. I knew it with all of my being; Nayth Carmidee is certainty in the flesh. How could he be so certain in a world of unknowns and endless possibilities?

  He knew what I was thinking, and it didn’t matter to him at all. He was just faith and certainty.

  And he was certain about me. He directed me to our outstretched hands and pointing index fingers. He wanted to see it. What did I see?

  I let go of my awareness of Nayth and returned to the big thing. It was easier with him behind and around me. His surety wrapped around me when I usually felt like I’d get lost in the giant tangle.

  I stretched to see it, looking forward, my left hand open as if to reach forward and pat something big on the back.

  It was so big, that thing. That giant tangle. A silver light. Me like a dagger. A golden glow. Nayth was that golden warm sun. The two of us, not two, one, but not one, two. I gasped and blinked my eyes, sitting up straighter.

  “That’s it,” I gasped out breathily, “That’s the big thing. The big thing I can’t fully see. It’s about us. Worlds colliding. You have two worlds. I have two worlds. We are two worlds colliding. It’s about marriage. Us. And it’s about more than us. It’s about worlds. You and me. Peydran and Ren. All of this like dominoes in a line. Falling into place. Centre Oasis. We built a whole new oasis. Years and years of events are stacking up, and it’s only barely begun."

  "It’s about you and me and how we’ve been two stars on a collision course for years, and we aren’t done colliding. We’ll keep choosing. And every decision point is another domino. We have to decide. You said ‘Wife,' and it awakened something within me. I want that, I want it more than I should want anything. And it’s about Centre Oasis, and my house, and our bed there. And a wooden box with an ankh on it. Every dream I had. And so much more. And the Shurwinn. It’s about everything. But it’s about us. That’s the big thing. We chose to find each other, and we will keep choosing it.”

  I sat up, facing him, looking directly into his face.

  “Nayth: WE WILL NEVER BE SEPARATE.”

  It felt like a rumble of the firmament. All creation shook with the declaration of it. It was not an emotion. It was not a man and a woman in love.

  It was a fact of the universe and the Cosmos boomed with the knowing of it.

  My eyes roamed his face. “How, how did you know to say the words, ‘Lovers are never separate?’ I remember exactly when I first heard those whispered words. But you, Nayth? Did you dream it too? Tell me! Tell me what happened!”

  “I have a lot to tell you, Methela. Come,” he led me to the closet.

  It was dark outside, and I asked the auto for the time. It was 2:30 in the morning. The closet light was dim.

  “I hope it was okay that I unpacked your things?” Nayth asked. The left portion of the closet was partially filled with my clothes.

  “Fine, yeah. Most of this I’ve never worn.”

  “And not a bra or panty to be found. You’re definitely committed to the no-underwear philosophy,” Nayth chuckled.

  “Ha!” I barked out. “Well, that’s partly my tailor Mauren. She asked probing questions about how old my unworn underwear were and what types of bras I preferred and styles of bandeaus that are most comfortable. And did I have loungewear that was less than six months old? And how long had I been wearing that workout gear?"

  "I thought I was going to have a whole trunk of undies, but no, not a scrap! I think I love that woman too. Oh, these are nice,” I said, picking up a cute pale pink v-neck camisole and sliding it over my head.

  It was exquisitely soft and baggy and paired with pale blue short shorts. It turned out to be the perfect pairing for what came next.