“Explain yourself, Master!” I laughed, pulling sweaty beads out of my tight tank.

  “Gross,” Denten grimaced, and we both chuckled.

  I took a sip from my water bottle, sitting back against the dojo wall, and Denten joined me.

  He explained the beads as requested. “Silver: the student questions the way the world works. White: the students asks a question the teacher cannot answer. Black: the student asks a question but expects no answer.”

  “Humh,” I hummed.

  That was really quite beautiful. Asking questions that you knew would not be answered. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Was that the pinnacle of the mystical path? Everything is a mystery, and we accept that we won’t understand it?

  “So,” I asked, “are all Tindin asking questions about leaving the Known Cosmos? Do Shurwinn know something about what’s going on that the rest of us don’t?”

  “No, Ryst. I’ve never heard anything quite like what you said: that technological advances aren’t what is restricting us to nine galaxies. I’m not really sure. But the Tindin path is unique to every individual,” he said, setting down his water bottle.

  "My own path to Black was really different, and the questions I asked were more related to a specific scenario that was happening in my life at the time. But it was similar to yours in some ways because it was about the suffering in the world. I just had a narrower way of looking at it.”

  I nodded, “So, the questions that we're asking are gonna be unique to us. It doesn’t matter what the questions are; it’s just that we are questioning. That’s what the Silver Bead is? We're questioning the way things work?”

  “Exactly. And the point of the Teacher is to be there as the student continues on her path, supporting her and listening to her as she grows. Because no one knows what twists and turns a life will take until it is lived,” he nodded.

  Wow, who knew that Denten was such a philosopher?

  “Denten, did you really do the Durstahngnat? That whole practice seemed… Well, is it kind of sadistic? I mean, a 100-day abstinence program? How is all of that supposed to be intimate? How can you practice the art of conception with abstinence? I think I know how babies are made, and it’s not upside down without touching each other.”

  We both laughed, open and free. Denten waved his hands in the air. “No, no, it’s not like that. It took me a long time to really understand the book, and that was a journey too. It’s actually how I got my Purple Beads.”

  “Really? You demonstrated some supernatural erotica thing?” I laughed, incredulous.

  He guffawed. “No, well, kind of. Okay. I was a young man. I was a romantic. I liked the idea of having one true love. An Ahtah: only one. I hadn’t met Lirin yet, and I was young and wanted to read the book,” he smirked.

  "So, I did it; all the exercises. It was fun. It was difficult. A real challenge. And I wanted to be really good at it, so I applied myself like a good student,” he added with a mischievous air.

  I couldn’t help giggling at his antics. Denten shook his head like he was admonishing his younger self. “Then I embarked on the 100-day exercise. Did you read the part about virginal males asking for a male partner? The observer role?”

  Yes, I had. And it had given me plenty of homoerotic fantasies to enjoy when I was by myself, and I was not thinking of that right now—not at all!

  The observer was supposed to watch the participant (the man who was upside down in a back bend with only his feet and hands on the floor). The observer was not a lover; he was a male Tindin of at least one higher rank who had experienced at least some of the exercises in the book.

  The observer’s role was to aid the participant in being stimulated. At first, the participant could ask the observer for touch, but eventually, the goal was to be untouched through the process.

  The observer would talk to the participant. There were mantras to repeat. It was all very, “the phallus is the wand of creation” type of stuff. “Praise the phallus! All hail the phallus!”

  I nodded, reminding myself I was an adult who wasn’t going to laugh while my Teacher was telling a story.

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  “I asked a Silver Beader I knew to be an observer, and he agreed. I didn’t want him touching me. That wasn’t part of my plan. I just wanted to see if I could do it, if it was even possible.”

  He laughed, “I didn’t really believe it, you know. Anyway, the observer isn’t there to finish. It’s not about the observer’s pleasure. He doesn’t have to be abstinent. He can go home and do whatever he wants."

  I’d read it in the book, of course, but it was so much more interesting to hear that men were actually doing this and trying to figure out if it was possible.

  “We were about fifty days in. And every day it’s ‘breathe the breath of life, feel the flow of life, let the erotica fill you, let the erotica stoke you, feel it surge within you.’ All the mantras. Repeating them over and over and joining with the creation force of life.”

  He paused, swallowing a sip of water, “It is amazingly erotic; wildly stimulating. And it really opened me to something new. I was connecting to a force outside of me. It really was there."

  He glanced at me, and I nodded that I understood. I’d read the books and knew about the mystical forces of nature.

  He kept going, "I could feel how vibrantly alive everything was and how beautiful it was to create, and to create as a man. And I realized that all the mantras that seemed so ridiculous when you first read them are true.”

  We were laughing as he continued, “But my friend was really worried. You're allowed to use one hand, if you can. But who can hold a backbend one-armed like that?"

  I cracked up. The conversation was so outta this world, and I could barely believe it, but Denten wasn’t daunted. He kept talking.

  "The Silver Beader got disturbed about the whole thing because it was over a month, and I was getting all this stimulation but never releasing it. He found it distressing and went to his Teacher because he thought we should stop the exercise. Then he asked me what I wanted to do because he was uncomfortable."

  Denten’s tone had grown more serious, and I put on my listening face, curious to see what happened.

  "I told my friend that I’d talk to my Teacher about it too, and we wouldn’t worry about it too much. It wasn’t supposed to be a thing that caused people stress, you know? It was supposed to be about connecting to a deeper force of creation that we all have access to. It wasn’t about torturing yourself."

  Denten smiled, and I felt his warm recollections gathering.

  "So, I went to my teacher and told him all about it. I explained what I just told you. And I realized that at some point I'd stopped caring about climax. I was just doing it because it really did connect me to something that was beautiful and mysterious… The process of creation that's going on within us and around us all the time."

  I nodded, thoughtful. Isn’t that what I’d been experiencing since I’d started the exercises in the books?

  Denten continued his story. "And that force isn’t always sexual. A flower blooming isn’t sex, but it is creation. It is erotic and not erotic at the same time. And my Teacher gave me the purple beads.”

  Denten laughed harder than I had ever seen. “And then, it was all just ridiculous! I was holding the purple beads because of that crazy book! The phallus is glorious!”

  We roared with laughter and couldn't stop. Side-splitting laughs that shook the room.

  When he caught his breath, Denten finished his story. “I did complete the whole 100 days. I told my friend not to observe any more, but I wanted to keep doing it just so I could. I decided that it really isn't possible to finish on just the erotic breath of life alone, at least, not in that position."

  “Hmm,” I hummed, interested to hear this news.

  "And I’ve asked people,” he assured me. "I’ve never heard of a single case of it happening. So, I think the whole point of the exercise is to connect with something more.”

  “Wow. I’m not sure if I wanna know your path to Black Beader. If that was your purple…” I wondered, hoping he would tell me the rest of his stories.

  “No,” he answered, sobering a little. “That path came later after Lirin and I were married with our first child, and we went through a difficult period. Her sister had lost a baby before he was born and was deeply depressed. It had a heartbreaking effect on all of us, and we went through some dark times. So, you can see how that would cause me to ask questions that can’t be answered.”

  I nodded gently. There were many things that I didn’t have words for, and the loss of a child was one of them.

  So, I just leaned my head against the wall, and we sat there for a moment breathing in and out.

  I switched topics. “So, you really think I’m a Black Beader now? I don’t think I could’ve sparred so long against you without my Talent.”

  “You think I would give Black Beads to someone unqualified?”

  “I just, I don’t think I’m a fighter at Level 9 Tindin yet,” I said, unsure.

  “Hmm, you're used to a martial art where the progress up the levels is all about sparring acumen, correct?” he asked in his teaching voice.

  “Yes,” I nodded.

  “Well, Tindin is different. It stops being about sparring at Level 3. You can progress to Black without ever sparring again, but if you do continue to dance, then it would only make sense that you incorporate all of your learning. So, if you have a Talent, then that's part of how you spar at Level 9, correct?” he asked.

  “Hunh,” I frowned. “I don’t know.”

  He tried again, leaning forward. “The biggest difference between you and me is not strength or size, Ryst. It's years in the dojo. If I tried to dance without all of my years of experience being incorporated into what I am doing, then I wouldn’t be sparring at my level, would I? So, if you are dancing without using your Talent, then you wouldn’t be sparring at your level. Does that make sense?”

  I settled back against the wall, pondering. “Maybe. I guess I’m still trying to think of it like a Jendo Level 9, and it might take some time to sink in."

  I had a question to ask him, so I switched gears, "To change the subject completely, do you and Lirin want to have dinner again soon? I could bring a curry. I want to talk more about what I’m going to do long term once I’m a citizen.”

  “Of course, Ryst. Lirin will be so happy. I’ll let you know when,” he said, standing up and heading for the door.

  “Perfect!” I picked up the sweaty beads and headed off to breakfast.

  Six "normal" teenagers. One impossible mission. Infinite evolution under red skies...

  NEMESIS, Chase, Stella, Theo, Emily, Oscar, and Andre are exposed to an extraterrestrial element called Primonium—unlocking abilities only the rarest humans, known as Primes, can possess. NEMESIS plans to unleash Primonium into the atmosphere, creating thousands of superhumans and using them to reshape society on their own twisted terms.

  Atlas Corp., a private military organization dedicated to stopping NEMESIS, the teens are thrust into a world of danger, espionage, and powers beyond their imagination. As new Primes, they must master their abilities, trust each other, and confront a rising threat that could kill millions.

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