They anxiously awaited the completion of the next assignment but surrendered to utilizing a celestial map. They enacted their safest plan of action and proceeded with slow caution. Gathering firewood for the camp and listening for foreign sounds.

  This is going to take forever. Kiara halted Ty’s compulsory roll of their eyes. Can’t we just send her back?

  Ty, it’s fine. Kiara sighed. Even when our arm is usable, Nahara said we should rest it, or it won’t be the same. It’s just shadow work, anyway. Not like we’re going as part of the Aid Program.

  This isn’t a vacation. We’re using that arm as soon as the pain’s gone.

  A rustling drew their attention.

  A buck. Kiara stared at the tall creature.

  If our arm wasn’t busted, he’d make a great dinner. And the tools…

  An arrow pierced the creature's neck. Leisha emerged from the brush, bearing a proud smile. She ended its pain with her dagger and smiled at them.

  “Saw his tracks near camp.” She beamed. “Thought he’d make a great dinner.”

  Guess she isn’t so useless after all. Kiara chuckled, joining Leisha’s side. “Great shot!” They gingerly pat the deer’s side. “Thank you. I promise no part will be wasted. May you be at peace, and may your path be bright.”

  Leisha stared at them, a curious look in her eyes. “Why thank it?”

  “So his spirit could go in peace. How would you feel if you were killed and you didn’t know the reason?” Kiara countered. “Or you thought it was just for someone else's fun.”

  “Is this another Rikevra thing?” Leisha sighed.

  “It’s my thing.” Kiara gave a gentle smile. “Nahara taught me a lot about spirits, but I just go with my feelings. There’s an energy in this Meyat; we feel it everywhere. All of the Meyat call it Bolidac, but it’s so much more than one thing. Something we gotta stop trying to control to have even a fraction of a chance to understand. So whenever I feel compelled to say or do something, I do it because it feels like it’s what I gotta do to make a difference.”

  “Oooookaaay.” Leisha sarcastically backed away.

  “Hey, you did good today. When that buck appeared, I was thinking, ‘What a great meal he’d make’ and how much it sucked that I couldn’t hunt. I’m glad you’re my partner.”

  Leisha blushed a moment, and the two returned to camp. They built a fire and prepared the meat, salting the leftovers and storing them in a bag in the snow.

  Kiara boiled some tea as the dawn replaced its’ mysterious counterpart.

  “I love sunrise,” Leisha whispered. “Everything looks new. Oooo, morning birds.” She closed her eyes and listened.

  The early calls of winter birds awakened the forest. Leisha held a peaceful smile as the sun warmed her face.

  Kiara admired her, unable to deny their attraction. How her dimples dotted the center of her cheeks, the strand of hair they wanted to brush from her eyes, and the slight curve in her lips forming into a cute bow. Would it be so wrong if I asked to kiss her?

  Better than moping around all the time. Rin held a bratty tone. Finally, accepting what you want?

  Jade did say we shouldn’t waste our lives denying our hearts. Kiara smiled, catching Leisha’s gaze for a moment.

  Jade was fifteen when she died. Ty’s flat tone forced their eyes to dart away. She died because of us. No fucking attachments, Kiara. We’ll be destroyed by the pain.

  It’ll hurt, regardless. Rin retorted. Why not have something beautiful to hold onto after?

  Are any of our memories with Jade beautiful? Ty scoffed. It’s all bittersweet pining, remembering the joy we failed to protect.

  You doubt us that much, Ty? Kiara sighed. Do you doubt your abilities so greatly?

  “Kiara.” Leysha’s hand warmed their face. “You okay?”

  “I think I’m just tired.” Kiara delicately guided her hand from their cheek, holding it maybe a bit too long.

  Desiring a way to brighten the sour mood, they forced a smile. “Thanks for all your help. I am glad you’re here. I know I’m a bit of a bitch, but I just…I’m so tired of nothing changing. Every day, countless die because people do nothing to stop it. They complain about fairness but just go along with whatever the Assemblies say. We could end them overnight if we’d all just fight together.” Kiara sighed, aware of her rambling. “I want everyone to finally be free, and you’re amazing. You pick things up quickly; ask the right questions. If we had more like you, maybe things really could change.”

  “I won’t change the Meyat.” Leisha objected. “But I believe you when you say Nahara could. I believe in your dream, Kiara. I’ll do what I can to help you.”

  *

  Hey, it’s our birthday. Zara’s giddy emotion bathed them in a warm glow.

  Despite the lack of a calendar and a few recovery days, Zara always kept track of their birthday, twenty days after Cúvidel, an easy trick for remembering. After all, another year of survival deserved celebration.

  Twenty-two. Never thought we’d get this far. Kiara exhaled.

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  We should tell Leisha. She doesn’t know. Zara excitedly stated.

  She’d be sad not getting a present. Kiara dressed. Speaking of, where’d she go?

  They emerged from the tent to find Leisha holding out a scarf.

  “Happy birthday!” She beamed. "Nahara told me how to keep track before we left."

  “Thank you.” Kiara gratefully took the scarf. “You didn’t have to.”

  “Everyone should feel special on their birthday.” Leisha giggled. “It is a surprise, right? I tried keeping it hidden in my cloak.”

  “Yeah.” Kiara lowered their head, allowing Leisha to drape the fluffy white scarf.

  “I cooked some meat. Let’s eat, and then we’ll walk.” Leisha announced.

  They ate, packed, and followed the stars.

  “How do you normally celebrate your birthday?” Leisha practically skipped beside them.

  “Nahara usually visits or sends someone with a present and a small cake.” They giggled at her antics. “I always do my work, though.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you a cake.” Leisha seemed disheartened.

  “It’s alright. I don’t mind.” They looked up. The stars flamed above; the moon was a familiar, comforting friend. “Spending my birthday under the stars is fitting, considering I was born in the middle of the night.”

  “Moon’s always so pretty,” Leisha whispered, joining in the gaze. “It’s almost like it’s calling me home—a home I don’t know.”

  “Maybe it is,” Kiara whispered. “I mean, this moon is the same every single human, ever born, has seen. Since the dawn of our existence, the moon has been there. I’m sure they stared in awe, just like us. That pull to home,” they sighed, embracing a mellowness inside them. “could be our ancestors calling out. Maybe the moon somehow captured their dreams and desires, becoming a timeless tether between all of humanity.”

  “You’re crazy.” Leisha lovingly sighed, shaking her head.

  “I know.” Kiara playfully grinned. “But you like it.”

  *

  Ty sat up, too restless for sleep. She enjoyed the last bit of the night when a rustling emerged. She readied their dagger, instantly calmed by familiar eyes.

  “Roran.” She stashed the dagger. “Any new reports?”

  “That’s what I’m supposed to ask you.” He sat opposite them. “Happy birthday, though it’s late. Took a minute to find ya. You’re really good at disappearing, huh?” He retrieved a box from his pocket. “Nahara wanted me to give this to you.” He opened the box for them, revealing three chocolate balls inside.

  “Thank you.” Ty gratefully scarfed one down. The bitter chocolate coating melted to reveal a tiny portion of moist cake in the middle. “How did you find us? Here, have one. She extended the box to him. “It’s so good.”

  Roran gratefully took a chocolate. “Thanks.” He popped it into his mouth. “Minor disturbances, ya know? Snow brushed off branches, and such took about two days. Y’all are making good time.”

  Please save one for Leisha.

  Fine.

  “I try.” Ty put the box away, and relaxed next to dying embers.

  “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Roran asked after finishing his treat.

  “Wish I could.” Kiara sighed.

  “Something on your mind?” Roran leaned forward, the glow of the rising sun illuminating the freckles perfectly outlining his cheekbones. “I’m a pretty good listener."

  “Leisha keeps asking me questions about trusting Nahara.” Ty felt relaxed with Roran. Whether it was his sweetened voice or the feminine features prominent with his masculine frame, she felt secure with him.

  She sensed something about him, almost like he lacked unwarranted judgment and desired understanding. Something in his bright eyes, like a curious truth. She found him charming and easygoing. Speaking felt like an old reunion each time.

  “I know Nahara keeps secrets to keep us safe, but I have to wonder if this is all worth it. If this isn’t just some crazy stupid idea, that will never succeed. We’re still so powerless against the Ketigaj. A few rescues here and there won’t make a difference, ya know? What’s the point if everything is just going to stay the same? Why even try?”

  Roran clasped his hands together and sighed. “We all fight for our reasons. The result is to save the Meyat for everyone.” He popped his knuckles, pondering his following words. “I fight for my son.”

  They subtly gasped, unable to contain a shocked but intrigued expression. “You have a son?”

  “Two, though I don't know where or even who the oldest is. My youngest’s name is Elvar.” Roran’s leg bounced. “Nahara keeps him safe.”

  “Would you rather be with him?” Ty noted his saddened gaze.

  “Every day.” Roran released a pained sigh.

  “Then why not stay with him?” Ty pressed. Can’t you choose?

  “I don’t deserve it,” Roran whispered.

  “What do you mean?” Ty rested their hand on his, hoping to ease his anxiety.

  “I got hurt when I was eighteen. They gave me piomu for the pain, and I got hooked. My family never seemed to notice, or maybe they just never looked at me. I kept paying all my debts, so maybe that's why. I don’t know. Sometime after, the girl I was with got pregnant. I wanted to be with her, but she told me the child wasn't mine and left. I heard that it's a boy who looks just like me, but that’s all I know about him. Lost track of her after that.” Roran paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. The pained look darkened his eyes, and they began to lighten. “A short time after that, I met a girl who was also a piomu user. We ran away together, and she got pregnant.” His eyes became illuminated with life like they held twinkling stars on a clear mid-afternoon sky. “I decided I would get clean for my child, so I did. Quitting was excruciating, but the moment I held him to me,” a smile brightened his face, dimples forming in the corners of his mouth and center of his cheeks. He seemed to emit light, speaking of his son. “it’s indescribable. I knew I had to keep doing better for him. His mother never got better, and we had to return home. She got back in with her old crowd and tried to keep my son from me. She’d bounce around, appearing someplace new whenever I got close. She dropped him off once, saying she would come back. His butt was bruised black. I knew I wouldn’t get another chance, so I abandoned everything and ran. I found the Rikevra, and Nahara took my son someplace no one could ever hurt him again. She's even got people searching for my other son, so I can at least know if he's safe. She asked for nothing in return, but I volunteered to do whatever she needed me to do because I wanted to repay her for giving my son a life I would’ve failed at. I’ll always trust her because she keeps my whole reason for living safe.”

  You can tell he loves being a father.

  “Do you miss him?” Ty felt unsure of what to say.

  “Every fucking day.” Roran sighed. “He’ll be three in a couple of months. "I have to do this because he deserves a Meyat he won't have to fear.”

  “Have you ever seen the place she takes the kids?” Kiara inquired. “Is it a safe place?

  "It's a paradise. There's no Bolidac there." Roran answered, chuckling.

  "I wish I could see it," Kiara whispered. "I never went to the island."

  "Do you know why?" Roran seemed intrigued.

  "Nahara was worried about me." Kiara chose to be as honest as possible. Nahara never verbally explained her decision to keep Kiara. They knew one reason: to keep their secret hidden, though they understood additional information lay hidden below the surface.

  They possessed insignificant control over stress in the past and felt heavy embarrassment toward people becoming privy to their weakness. Nahara knew they desired death and they guessed she worried suicide would be their choice over exhibiting weakness.

  "You lived with Nahara way longer than any she’s collected. She considers you a true daughter. She ever give you a reason not to trust her?"

  “Of course not.” Ty sighed. “I just don’t know how to help Leisha understand without being a massive cunt.”

  “Most of us are assholes when training.” Roran shrugged. “She chose to stay and could leave at any time.”

  “That’s true.” Ty nodded in consideration. “Wish I wasn’t busted up so I could help more or that I at least knew her plan. I wish she'd fill me in.”

  “You’re still a big part of the plan,” Roran stated. “Kiara, Nahara needs you to watch the docks in case the Ketigaj catches on to her plan. If there’s any mention of the Rikevra, she has to know so she can adjust things. She needs you in Cadíl, or her plan could fail. Just because you gotta stay hidden doesn’t mean you aren’t important. Okay?”

  “But what is her plan?” Ty urged. “Can’t you tell me? Just a little bit? For my birthday.” Performing Rin’s suggestion of impishly batting their eyes at him.

  “She’s building something.” Roran shook his head, rolling his eyes with a goofy smile. “That’s all I can say. You know how she is with information.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Ty rolled their eyes at him. “The future of the Rikevra, blah, blah, blah. I know.” Building what?

  “We’ll all find out soon enough.” Roran jokingly elbowed her. “Just keep pressing forward.”

  Despite Ty’s guarded nature, she trusted him. The fire in his eyes or his warm conviction gave her a sense of tranquil understanding.

  “Thanks, Roran.” She smiled, his fire impassioning hers. “Wanna hang out for a while?”

  “I can.” Roran nodded. “And, of course.”