Hopefully, mindless scrolling will help me escape my thoughts. I pick up my phone from the coffee table and tap the screen to wake it up. My finger navigates to Facebook and presses on the blue icon. Ironically, the first post I scroll to is a twerking video. At first I keep going, but then I scroll back. I eye the woman’s backside as it bounces up and down repeatedly.

  “Oh, Jamal, put the phone down,” Wisdom sighs. “I understand that you haven’t been on this walk long and we have a lot of cleansing to do already. If you put trash in your heart, you will ultimately produce trash.”

  “Ssseeing a little video won’t produce trasssh. God gave her that body and shhhe’sss the one choosssing to shhhare it with the world.” I guess I didn’t escape the Flesh.

  I move to scroll past the video again, but my thumb hits the video instead.

  “Wow is it my time to play again?” A seductive voice floats through the air. “That was fast.”

  “Don’t click on that video, Jamal!” Wisdom snaps audibly. But it’s too late. Luckily, James’ picture slides down over the video. His call interrupts the flow of my data. I thought about ignoring his call, but I answer it anyway. “Hello?”

  “Mal, I’ve been thinking. I talked to my roommate and he says you can move in with us for a little while.”

  Relief flows through my entire body. “Yeah, bro. I appreciate it, man.”

  “Keep reading, little bro. The reason I keep telling you this is because I know how easily we can fall behind and get discouraged in hard times.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Just listen to Wisdom. The Flesh tends to rise up when things get tough. It tries to get you to make bad choices. You should read The Book of Proverbs and ask for wisdom.”

  “Okay.”

  “Welp, let me know when you are ready to move in. Love you, bro.”

  “Love you, too.” I put down my phone and throw a quick thanks up to God for leading James to call and encourage me. I can feel more than hear Lust’s whispers urging me to pick the phone back up and finish what I started. But, this time Wisdom’s voice is stronger.

  “Read The Book of Proverbs, Jamal. It will allow you to understand me better,” she encourages gently.

  My head turns to my phone sitting on the couch. I could read on the bible app, but that would be taking a chance. Instead, I walk to my bedroom to get my physical bible. Laundry sits piled up on my bed. Shoes are strewn everywhere and I have to kick a few objects to the side to enter my room.

  “I know I have my bible around here somewhere,” I mutter to myself as I throw clothes to the side.

  After pushing more clothes to the side, I plop down and zone out for a few seconds.

  “Okay, God. I don’t want to fail you, but I’m gonna be honest-this lust thing has been kicking my butt. I know Wisdom has been fighting off the Flesh for me. It’s just…. everywhere there’s a screen, there is temptation. I got to confess, I’m addicted to porn.”

  “Oh poo poo, you know you like it.” Lust taunts, even though I’m not talking to her.

  Wisdom appears in front of me. “It’s good that you confessed this, Jamal. Acknowledging your strongholds is the first step.”

  Stronghold? With a shimmer, Lust appears on top of my pile of laundry with her legs crossed. She holds a glass of champagne in her hands like she’s posing or something and levels me with a look. A giggle escapes her lips.

  “Such a party pooper. Oh, Jamal, I don’t know why you are looking for that silly little book. You’re not going to find it.” She waves her hand dismissively and wiggles a little to get comfortable on her throne of clothes. I hop off the bed and try to look for my bible on the floor, where the clothes I just threw off fell.

  “Let’s face it, you really don’t want to read it anyways. After all, I wouldn’t be here if you did.”

  I pause for a moment.

  “Pay her no mind. Continue looking.” Wisdom commands.

  I keep throwing things to the side on the floor and move to the closet. Man, I am messy. Where did I put that bible? I just read it last night.

  “Maybe, this is a sign from God that you shouldn’t read it, today.” Lust says in a sing-song voice.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Wisdom sighs in response. “You will find it, Jamal.”

  I fall to the floor in my closet and begin to look. There’s just one thing, I don’t get, Wisdom. I think as I remove shoes from my closet. I have been doing P.W.R but I’m still falling into Lust. I mean, she’s been getting to me lately. Not to the point of messing with Selena again, but it’s strong. Why haven’t we gotten rid of her, yet?

  “When you entertained the thoughts of the Flesh, you opened the door for Lust to come in. Now that the door has been open, it will be difficult to remove the hold she has on your heart without fighting on the Battlefield. If you suit up and weaken her in the spiritual realm, I will be able to keep her at bay after.”

  “Baby, do you really want to fight me?” Lust tries to get my attention from where she’s perched on my clothes.

  I don’t give her the satisfaction. The answer to her question is yes. I really do want to fight her. It wasn’t always that way, but I’m tired of having my mind clouded. I’m tired of closing my eyes and seeing images of naked women. When a beautiful woman walks by, I subconsciously start to undress her, and I hate it. I’m thinking that as long as I have lustful thoughts, it will be hard for me to find and maintain a healthy relationship with both Christ and a future partner.

  “Wisdom, you’re turning my sweetheart against me.” There is a hint of a pout in Lust’s voice. “Come on, baby, don’t be mean.”

  I stay silent. I entertained the flesh, but I was not about to start entertaining Lust. Who knows what that could lead to in the future? I crawl out of the closet and spin around, making sure to not make eye contact with lust. I spot my bible sitting right in front of my nose on the dresser. One quick stride and I snatch it up and open it.

  “Read, read, read all you want. It’s pointless, I am still going to be right here.”

  I try not to acknowledge that she has a point. I’ve been reading this entire time, and yet she is still sitting there taunting me.

  “Do not entertain her lies and half-truths. Remember what I told you about the Battlefield.” Wisdom walks over to me and places a hand on my wrist. Immediately it shines blue. “Yes you have fallen many times these last few weeks, but you have been reading to help combat her. This walk is a process. I am here to help you through it all. Read and give me the strength I will need to help you take her down.”

  Shimmers of purple dust float around my head and tickle my nostrils.

  “Wisdom, sure talks a lot of talk, doesn’t she? But what she doesn’t know is that you and I have a little understanding. I help you unwind and you feed me. It’s as simple as that. No harm. No foul.” Lust whispers.

  “I… I don’t want to.” I fight.

  “I know, baby, but you’re just a man. It’s in your D.N.A, so why fight it?” Lust ask.

  “He will fight it because it was not God’s design for him to lust after women,” Wisdom answers for me.

  The shimmer solidifies into an annoyed woman.

  “Why do you feel the need to speak for my Honey Bunny?” In an instance, Lust is nothing but purple shimmer again.

  “You speak nothing but lies and I will not stand for it!” Wisdom’s hands fly to her hips.

  “Rawr, kitty got claws.” Lust’s laughs float around the room.

  “Jamal, I think it is about time you visit your Garden, again,” Wisdom reminds me gently. With these words, She transforms into a blue ball and absorbs into my heart.

  I leave the swirling dust of Lust in my room and take my bible into the living room. I sit on my couch and begin to pray.

  “Father God, please hear me out. I feel like this situation I got myself into is too heavy. I know you’re here for me and you won’t give me anything that I can’t handle. I have been pumping nothing but trash in my mind, body, and heart for so long that I know it will take some time to burn through. Lust is constantly dangling all these images that appeal to my filthy heart. I really do want to be clean. You gave me Wisdom, but sometimes it’s hard to hear her when all these bills are knocking on the door. Even though it has only been four Sundays since I came to you, Father God it’s hard. How long will this last?” I realize that my prayer is more of a complaint, and try again. “To tell you the truth, I’m nervous to enter the Battlefield. I don’t know if I have what it takes to fight her. But as long as you are with me I shouldn’t be nervous, right? So, I just want to ask, Lord, that you would give me insight and understanding of Your Word. Thank you for listening. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  I open my bible.

  “Now, baby, do you think that weak prayer of yours is going to help you?” I ignore Lust and flip to proverbs.

  “Jamal, let’s read 2 Chronicles chapter fifteen verse seven and James chapter 1 verses twelve through fifteen. We’ll get to Proverbs in time.” I obey wisdom and flip to the book of James.

  It takes me a minute to find the book, but I found it.

  Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

  I flipped to 2 Chronicles and read out loud.

  “But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.” I close my bible and pray.

  “Father God, thank you for the Word that I have just received. I pray you give me the strength to endure Lust and all her tricks. My life seems to be falling apart but I know as long as I keep my eyes on you and grind hard in your name, my work will not go unrewarded. In Jesus’ name amen.”

  “Oh sweetie, does this mean you’re going to ignore me now?” Lust mopes.

  “Jamal, you are going to have to suit up and fight Lust soon.” Wisdom says.

  “Are you listing to me, baby?” Lust tries to interrupts but is unsuccessful.

  “You will not lose. I am here to give you strength.” Wisdom encourages.

  “Honey, why are you acting like you want me gone?” Lust says pouty.

  “It will not be wise for you to battle Lust by yourself. You need someone next to you to encourage you and keep you on your toes in this battle.” Wisdom advises me.

  “If it’s another man you’re talking about, bring it on. I know how to handle the menfolk.” Lust barks.

  I think about asking James to be my co-pilot.

  “He would be a wise choice.” Wisdom approves.

  Wise choice indeed,” Honey. Lust chuckles. “Oh, how I can’t wait to see your co-pilot fall alongside you.”

  I ignore Lust. I get my laptop and phone with plans to make some changes to my playlist. I never looked up the songs and artists James and Brad introduced me to; it’s time to change that.