Shit… what do we do now? Even if we could see them, there’s no way that we could keep up with them without horses.

  Chloe: “You two. There is a farmhouse a mile up the road. When the damn horse wakes up, wait for me there.”

  Dwynfel: “What are you going to do?”

  Chloe: “Getting back up… and more damn horses.”

  She ran off into the fog in the direction of Kataravonia, leaving Tristan and I alone in the fog. The horse shows absolutely no sign of waking anytime soon… so we have no option but to just stay put.

  I have never really spent much time with Tristan. He has visited the farm a couple of times… but fairly obviously, that was to visit Lucas, not me. He seems to have a very different demeanour to Lucas… very subdued, calm, quiet and clearly self-conscious. I’ve noticed that he is rarely the one to initiate a conversation.

  I’m not saying that he doesn’t talk or that he is closed off or anything… just that he’s… well… he’s not his brother is what I am getting at. He is currently sat by the horse, tenderly stroking its head as it sleeps. I feel like I should start some kind of conversation with him… otherwise this could be a very long wait.

  Dwynfel: “Umm… so… where did you get that magic shell amulet? Those are incredibly rare… right?”

  He carefully lifted the amulet out of his robe and looked at it. It had a rather intricate design. It looked to be made of platinum wrapped around obsidian, with a tiny emerald in the middle. As his glare was reflected in the emerald, his face softened.

  Tristan: “Oh… this…”

  It was an emerald set in an obsidian circle with a gold trim around the outside. He stroked the emerald with his thumb.

  Tristan: “My dad gave it to me. His way of protecting me, I suppose.”

  Dwynfel: “What do you mean?”

  Tristan: “My dad has always worried about the type of magic that I use. I did try the big flashy magic… fire, lightning, earthquakes. But I could never control it very well and I always ended up hurting people. I tried healing magic, but couldn’t even heal a small cut. I don’t really have much in the way of fighting skills… I’m kinda clumsy... always tripping over my own feet. So, the way of the sword didn’t work for me either. Hell, the only reason I didn’t get hit by those bombs was because the horse dodged them on my behalf.”

  He laughed to himself.

  Tristan: “Only thing I have ever really been good at are debilitating spells. That makes me very reliant on my party members. My dad said that people who cast these spells are often the first to be targeted. And that if I got silenced, I would be completely useless. I think that’s why he gave me this amulet… kinda, his way of protecting me. He had it brought here from Thairein… they have a museum of magic artefacts there. It must have cost a fair amount of gold. It blocks magical ailments, so if people want to end my spells, they need to either resort to high-mana destruction spells… or physical damage.”

  Fuck… I feel bad for thinking this… but I shouldn’t have started this conversation. Not that what he is saying isn’t interesting… but fuck me… the droning voice… it really doesn’t matter how interesting what he is saying is… it’s like it is putting me to sleep.

  Tristan: “It helps me stay relevant in fights for longer. Which, in all honesty, I really need. None of the knight units really wanted me. They wanted people who could hold their own. Chloe was the first commander that was willing to give me a chance. I think it’s because she used to be an adventurer. She knows how effective a varied party can be. Knights often have solo duties, so people with my skill set are rarely sought after. Chloe has always been very mindful of my limitations. If there is any risk of a fight then she always pairs me with someone. She only sent me after the wagon because she was desperate. And I managed to fuck that up… she should have brought one of the others on this mission… they’d have done better than me.”

  My eyelids are drooping… shit… I can’t fall asleep when he’s saying that stuff. Shit… I need to say something. Maybe if I try to speak more often to break up what he’s saying then the drowsiness won’t take hold.

  Dwynfel: “You didn’t fuck up, Tristan. We were all following that wagon. We didn’t think they’d have so many precautionary measures in place. The lights, the fog, the bloody hellhounds. You lasted longer than Chloe and I did. We lost our horse ages before you. In fact, you still have yours… fuck knows where ours is. Chloe picked you for a reason… she has faith in you.”

  Tristan: “She picked me because I have no love life. That’s the only reason.”

  Okay, he’s not wrong… but I’m sure there are other reasons.

  Dwynfel: “Well, yeah. That was part of it… she needed that for the whole undercover bit. But you absolutely nailed that… right?”

  Tristan: “Did I?”

  Dwynfel: “Oh, hell yeah. I mean… you fully committed back there. Nobody in that place suspected that you were there for any reason other than cards, booze, and sex. And from what Olly said… it very much sounds like you nailed the sex part.”

  Tristan: “He was probably just saying that to be nice. I worked as a serving boy, I know what it’s like.”

  Bloody hell… this guy’s self-esteem is even lower than mine. And that’s saying something.

  Dwynfel: “Tristan… trust me… I know Olly. If I’m honest, I know Olly way better than I would like to. But… that back there… he wasn’t just being nice. When he was talking about your capabilities… he was being completely genuine.”

  A saw a little glimmer of hope in his eye as he briefly glanced in my direction.

  Tristan: “D’ya think so?”

  Dwynfel: “Seriously… I’ve seen his standard workplace patter… that wasn’t it. Incidentally… I know Chloe mentioned this before… but I just… I need to know… so be honest with me. Had you really never thought about being with a guy before tonight?”

  Tristan: “Honestly, I hadn’t.”

  Dwynfel: “Then… then where on earth did all that come from?”

  Tristan looked away from me again… his focus returned to stroking the horse. I get the impression that when he finds a topic awkward to talk about, he avoids eye-contact.

  Tristan: “I just… I felt bad because of the first time.”

  Dwynfel: “What? The blowjob? He’s paid to do that… why feel bad about it?”

  Tristan: “That’s exactly what my dad and brother would say.”

  Dwynfel: “Because it’s true.”

  Tristan: “Have you ever worked in service?”

  Dwynfel: “I can’t say that I have. People don’t tend to want a goblin waiting their table.”

  Tristan: “When I was young… before my father formally acknowledged me as his son and had me moved into his home… I worked as a serving boy. In that line of work, you get taught to do as you’re told, not to ask questions. If they are having a bad day and they take their anger out on you… then you accept that. After all, you don’t do the job for appreciation or thanks… it is an honour and a privilege to serve an esteemed family. And you go through life believing this… you have your place and you accept that.”

  Fuck… he’s talking for long periods again… fuck… I’m an awful person… I’m really interested in what he’s saying… but fucking hell… I’m about to fall asleep. Speak more often… remember to interject more… if I make an effort to speak more, then it should keep me awake.

  Dwynfel: “Hmm… yes… I see…”

  Tristan: “When I moved into my dad’s home, suddenly I was on the other side of things. I wasn’t expected to do anything, because there were servants for that. I didn’t even need to dress myself. I found it… uncomfortable.”

  Dwynfel: “I have to admit… that would be weird.”

  Tristan: “I grew to realise that working in service… it wasn’t an honour or a privilege. Having rich people treat you like shit just so that you can try and wield a tiny portion of their name as influence in your own social life… it’s pathetic. And my father and Lucas… they still fully believe in the whole “service is an honour and a privilege” line. I can’t stand it.”

  Dwynfel: “Lucas doesn’t seem that bad.”

  For a brief moment he looked at me and smiled… before returning his attention to the horse.

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  Tristan: “Moving in with your mother has changed him. He still believes in the system and he’s still a snob. But he is more willing to help out and he seems to at least be a bit more grateful of the service that he receives.”

  Dwynfel: “He always seemed very happy to help my mum.”

  Tristan: “I think we both know why that is.”

  Dwynfel: “Fair point.”

  Tristan: “I have tried as much as possible through my life to not have service staff. I find it so… degrading.”

  Degrading though it may be… at least it’s a job. A job means money, which means food.

  Dwynfel: “But doesn’t the service industry provide a large number of jobs? Smutisha’s house is full of staff. If she didn’t have servants, then the amount of unemployed people in the city would increase massively.”

  Tristan: “I never really thought about it like that.”

  Dwynfel: “When people have as much money as she does, I think it is their responsibility to create jobs like that. There will always be people in need of jobs.”

  Tristan: “It is the job of the wealthy man, to provide work for the artisan.”

  Dwynfel: “Huh?”

  Tristan: “It’s something my father always says. And I do get your point. Work is important, and it is a big industry… but that doesn’t mean that the servants should tolerate awful working conditions, low pay, and abusive lords. Nobody should have to endure that.”

  He definitely has a point there. I think I’d kill myself if I worked for that awful Gentle woman.

  Dwynfel: “I mean… I’m not going to argue with that. Nobody should have to put up with those things. But I am slightly wondering what all this has to do with the whole… three-way… thing.”

  Tristan: “Can I be honest with you?”

  Dwynfel: “Please do.”

  Tristan: “When I was fourteen… I fell for one of the handmaids in our home. Her name was Enid. I was obsessed with her. She was overwhelmingly beautiful, she was sweet, she was gentle, she was kind. It took me a long time to build up the courage to confess my feelings to her. And when I did… she said she liked me too. I was ecstatic…”

  I genuinely cannot imagine this guy ecstatic. I wonder if his voice changed for more than a second.

  Dwynfel: “Hmm… yes… do go on.”

  Tristan: “She led me to my bedroom and… well… you can guess the rest. I had no idea what I was doing… I had no experience or knowledge. I just kind of lay there. At the time, I thought it was the best night of my life. But a couple of days later, I picked her some flowers from the garden and went to find her. I overheard her talking to one of the other maids in the servants’ quarter. She wasn’t being malicious or anything. She said that I had no skills whatsoever, but that I was a very nice boy, and that it was an honour to pleasure one of the lords. It was in that moment that I realised. She didn’t like me for me. She did what she did because I was her lord and pleasing your lord is an honour to any servant.”

  Shit… did I just yawn… pretty sure I just yawned… shit… did he notice… I didn’t mean to… I really don’t want him to think I’m not interested… shit… he was looking at the horse… I think I got away with it.

  Dwynfel: “That must have been difficult.”

  Tristan: “I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eye after that. I told her that what we had done was a mistake and that I should really be remaining pure for when I get married. Until last night, that was the only time that I have ever had… relations… with anybody.”

  What? No way. I’m sorry, but no. After what Olly said… no way was that only his second time. I couldn’t have done that and I’ve been doing it on the regular for the last four years.

  Dwynfel: “If last night was only your second time… then where did all of that crazy shit come from?”

  Tristan: “I vowed to myself that the next time I lay with a woman that I would not simply be serviced. That I would make sure that she enjoyed herself. I want to make her feel like she is my priority. I want her to know that she is the most important thing in the world to me. So, I researched techniques… ways of doing things that women enjoy. I spoke to prostitutes and they gave me tips about what their female clients like and I compiled a plan of things to try and how to respond to different things.”

  Fucking hell… this guy is quite the planner.

  Dwynfel: “But you never got to try these skills out?”

  Tristan: “No. I find that I struggle with dating. I get paranoid with women who know who my father is, because in the back of my mind, I’m always thinking about Enid. And the girls who don’t know who my father is… they always seem to lose interest in me before things get to that point.”

  Dwynfel: “Then why not go to a prostitute? I know that it isn’t the relationship that you want… but at least you’d be able to test out all your strategies.”

  Tristan: “Prostitutes are a different form of the service industry. And you know how I feel about the service industry. And even if I didn’t feel that way, they would likely say that I was doing well, even if I wasn’t.”

  I completely understand his fear and paranoia there… for the longest time I was terrified that Kiyui was just doing things with me as some form of payback for me helping him with the adventuring.

  And because he’s an ex-prostitute I had real trouble believing him when he said he liked being with me sexually. Because I know how good he needed to be at lying about that in his previous profession.

  Dwynfel: “I completely understand that. But again… what does all this have to do with Olly and Dolly.”

  Tristan: “The first time we went in that room, I just stood there. I’d never done anything with a guy before. My nerves took over and it was just like that first time with Enid. I just panicked and did nothing. I know that we didn’t need to do anything in there. But he was so nice… and he offered to do everything… and he made me feel wanted. And because of that… I used him… I used him to make myself feel better. As soon as I finished, I was so… disgusted with myself… I just… I had to leave the room immediately. When I got back to the table, I felt dreadful… like I had completely broken the vow that I had made to myself all those years ago.”

  I genuinely admire his attitude towards this whole situation. I thought that his discomfort at the brothel was because the thought of being with a boy disgusted him in some way. But I think it is just that he had done all of this research in preparation for a girl… and then his next time turned out to be with a boy… which he had not researched or prepared for at all.

  Dwynfel: “You shouldn’t feel bad. You weren’t expecting to be doing anything like that. It’s not your fault you weren’t prepared and were overtaken by nerves.”

  Tristan: “When Chloe said that I would need to go back in… I decided that it was going to be different. I wasn’t going to just use them like they were possessions for my amusement. I was going to make them feel like they were important… like they meant something… like their pleasure was just as important as mine… if not more so.”

  I admire the determination, but still, what Olly described is still insane to me.

  Dwynfel: “And you just came up with all of that stuff that you did when you were sat at the table?”

  Tristan: “No… when we went back in, we put the note back, then I asked them to sit with me on the bed for a while. And we talked. We talked about what they enjoy, what specific things they like to do. That was how I found out about how to massage the prostate and things. That’s why we were in there for so long… because I was gathering information so that I could make sure that I followed through on the vow I made to myself.”

  I mean… that’s… that actually really sweet. I know his voice is a tedious monotone that is seriously making it difficult to listen to him… but once you get past that and actually listen to what he’s saying. He just… he means so well.

  Dwynfel: “I think that is a really admirable thing to do. But I do have one more question.”

  Tristan: “Okay.”

  Dwynfel: “The casting slow thing… did they suggest that?”

  Tristan: “No. That was part of my original research. I read it in a book called “The Magician’s Guide to Sex.” It was mostly full of things that required you to be a contortionist. But there was a chapter on the abnormal use of magic which had the slow thing in it. You have to focus it a lot more with a guy though, because if you just lightly slow it down then it still doesn’t last long. With women you have more flexibility to the spell because they can have multiple orgasms in a row.”

  Didn’t know that about women. I mean… my knowledge of women in the bedroom is incredibly limited. Even Kiyui has had more sexual encounters with women than me… and he is well and truly in the gay camp.

  Dwynfel: “Well… if you were able to do that after a very brief interview with those two, then I am pretty confident that all of your research on how to please women will pay off the next time you do get to that point with one.”

  Tristan: “I’m beginning to doubt that I ever will.”

  Dwynfel: “Don’t be silly. The way Olly is going on… half the city if going to want to ride you by the end of the week.”

  Tristan laughed and the horse whinnied briefly and its legs started to move.

  Dwynfel: “Well thank fuck for that… we can head for that farmhouse and get out of this damn fog for a bit.”