Twelve… did he just say he has been having sex since he was twelve… fucking hell… that would be like me having sex when I was eight. I mean… if I was in a goblin nest, that is exactly what I would have been doing at eight. But still… given what I was actually doing with my life at eight, I just can’t imagine it.

  Dwynfel: “You were having sex at twelve?”

  Kiyui: “Yes.”

  Dwynfel: “Twelve?”

  Kiyui: “Yes.”

  Dwynfel: “Seriously… twelve?”

  Kiyui: “How many times are you going to ask this question?”

  Dwynfel: “Fucking twelve?”

  Kiyui: “Only eight more times to go then.”

  Dwynfel: “You were a prostitute at twelve?”

  Kiyui: “No… I became a prostitute after I left home, when I was thirteen.”

  Dwynfel: “And you had already… done it?”

  Kiyui: “I started young. It really isn’t an issue.”

  How? Just how does he not see that this is an issue? What the hell?

  Dwynfel: “Yes, it is… did you like… date somebody before then?”

  Kiyui: “We didn’t really date. It was more of an experimentation thing.”

  Dwynfel: “What do you mean?”

  Kiyui: “Well, my step dad was very controlling…

  Dwynfel: “What?”

  Kiyui: “Oh… Gaia… No… This is not going in that direction. I was only allowed out to see my friends one day per week. Eventually, when I was twelve, I convinced him to let me camp out with them one night per week, as long as I was back in time for my chores in the morning. I was so excited to spend an evening out with my friends. The adults in the village were always off with me because I was clearly a half-breed. The kids were initially confused by me but the novelty wore off quick and we became friends anyway. Growing up, I had three really close friends. Reisuke had a wonderfully mischievous smile and the most gorgeous jet-black fur. And the twins, Shu & Shai. They had ginger fur. They desperately strived to be different from each other, always wore different clothes, had different hair styles, etcetera. Shai always acted boisterous and aggressive whereas Shu was calm and collected.”

  I wish that I had friends growing up. I missed out on doing so many things because I had to keep my secret. My life is so different now… having friends… even now… as I sit in this bath… listening to Kiyui talk about his past… I may not understand why they care for me the way that they do, but… it makes me glad that I have people that I can call friends.

  Kiyui: “Well, we were camping one day and…

  Okay… I’m just going to disconnect you from my thoughts for a bit. If there is one thing that I am becoming painfully aware of, it is that Kiyui is way too open and frank when it comes to discussing sex. And given the age of him and his friends during this story, I feel the need to censor what is being said. I shall allow you back into my thoughts and give you the abridged version once he has finished.

  Okay… so… that was… disturbing. To summarise, Kiyui comes from a very sexually open culture that does not place much emotional weight on sex or sexual activity. He started masturbating before he even started puberty and he started experimenting with his friends when he was twelve. They all lost their virginity together while camping just before Kiyui’s thirteenth birthday.

  He went into way too much detail about it and I feel genuinely disturbed.

  On a lighter note… I did discover a couple of other things about him. He is very acrobatic. He continued to wash his hair during this story and at one point he gripped the side of the bath, flung his legs in the air, and lowered his head into the water in order to rinse his hair. It was beyond unnecessary. Sometimes I feel like everything that he does has an element of performance to it.

  I also discovered that his step-dad taught him how to read and write. Which are very handy skills to have. He also showed me that he holds pencils and quills in the weirdest way. He doesn’t hold them in a fist… his little finger and thumb go underneath and his other three fingers go on top. It is really weird. He says that he can’t write if he holds the pencil different and says that this weird grip is why his writing is so messy. It is also how he holds his penis… because of course it is.

  I’m now going to resume this conversation with him because we have moved past the graphic details… I hope. And honestly… he has to be making up or embellishing that story… doing all of that… at that age… with three other people… that’s just insane.

  Dwynfel: “Your first time was with three other boys in a tent?”

  Kiyui: “Yeah…”

  Dwynfel: “Seriously? That was your first time?”

  Kiyui: “Why are you so freaked out by this? It was just four boys experimenting while camping, it isn’t that uncommon.”

  Dwynfel: “A bit of mutual masturbation is not uncommon… that Kiyui… that is just plain insane!”

  Kiyui: “Clearly, we come from very different cultures. Where I come from, sex isn’t this massive thing that you make it out to be. Humans place way too much emotional weight on sex. Sex is just an instinct.”

  Dwynfel: “That isn’t true.”

  Kiyui: “Oh really? Who taught all the wild animals to do it then?”

  What the fuck kind of come back is that?

  Dwynfel: “Wild animals are different… they don’t think like us. And I hardly think that we should emulate them… they have no concept of things like consent. If they can overpower their target then it is fair game to them.”

  Kiyui: “I am in no way suggesting that we copy all of their behaviour. And I definitely do not agree with any sexual activity that both parties do not consent to. My point is simply that you do not need to teach the act of sex to any creature, be it human, halfling, feline, or beast. If a group of children were stuck on an island with no adults from a young age, do you think they would grow up knowing nothing of sex and engaging in no sexual acts whatsoever?”

  Dwynfel: “Well, no. Obviously…”

  Kiyui: “Exactly. And here’s a fun fact, as soon as any of them started puberty, they’d be experimenting. And they would do so perfectly happily without a hint of shame or guilt.”

  Gods give me strength… sometimes guilt is necessary.

  Dwynfel: “There may be no shame or guilt, but they’d have a boat load of psychological problems.”

  Kiyui: “Any psychological problems that they develop would be due to the stress of the near-death situation and having to learn how to survive. Not because little Timmy got curious and sucked a dick. At least until they get rescued and everyone piles on the shame and the guilt because such things are so very wrong and society has decided that his young mind is too fragile to cope with indulging in such activities. Despite the fact that all these deranged people who insist that all of this stuff is so very wrong, always seem to be partaking in it constantly the second the doors are closed. Because doing these things isn’t wrong in the slightest. But people knowing that you do such things, well, we can’t have that. It is the stupidity of this society piling on shame and guilt that damages the mind.”

  Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

  What is wrong with this guy? People keep this stuff behind closed doors because it is shameful and they should be ashamed! The shame is there for a reason!

  Dwynfel: “A bit of shame and guilt can be a good thing. It prevents society from falling into degeneracy.”

  Kiyui: “No, it doesn’t. Feline society functions perfectly well and isn’t the slightest bit degenerate.”

  Dwynfel: “Other cultures may find it degenerate.”

  Kiyui: “Like the human culture? I have no doubt they would find a sexually open community to be degenerate. Human society is so determined to repress sexuality. Your body will tell you when you are ready to have sex. When you are tired your body tells you to sleep, when you are thirsty it tells you to drink, when you are hungry it tells you to eat. Your body knows what it needs. And when your body needs sexual contact, it lets you know.”

  Dwynfel: “Just because your body wants it, it doesn’t mean that you should indulge in it.”

  Kiyui: “Why?”

  Fuck’s sake… I’m getting nowhere here. Just let him finish his mad rant and try to change the subject.

  Kiyui: “Your body tells you when it wants sex. Why does society know better than your own body? Answer? It doesn’t. Human society is just built around repression. It shames people for indulging in such things. Gaia, it shames kids for masturbating. The temple of the Maiden is an entire group devoted to abstinence and shaming those that indulge. And why? Why does human society think sex is so shameful and wrong?

  I placed my head in my hand in despair.

  Dwynfel: “Because it is!”

  Kiyui: “No it isn’t! You’ve all just been conditioned to think this way because the men who created all these rules years and years ago wanted to be sure that the kid their wife birthed was theirs. And that’s the nicer explanation… personally I think it was simply because they liked to stick their dicks in tight unpenetrated holes. That’s the extent of it.”

  I always found the obsession that a lot of men have with virgins to be rather weird. That being said… not all men feel that way. Agaroth always says “ya donnae want a virgin. They’re a load of pish. Ya want a fire-breathing whoor. Ya want someone who knows their way around a cock.”

  Agaroth’s standpoint may be phrased in a rather worrying manner. But I do understand his point. Virgins are not exactly brimming with knowledge and experience. I certainly wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to do.

  Personally, I like the idea of being with a virgin because then they, like me, will have no idea what it is supposed to be like. Then my lack of skill and knowledge won’t be as obvious.

  Dwynfel: “But that only explains why virginity is valued.”

  Kiyui: “I am well aware of that. The rest of the shaming has just expanded from there. Think about it. If you shame somebody for simply touching themselves then they are going to be terrified of indulging in the actual act of sex.”

  Okay… that does actually make some degree of sense. But I still think that sex should not be taken so lightly.

  Kiyui: “All of this shame and guilt that society heaps onto people is why humans have all of this emotional baggage around it. Boys grow up being told if they touch themselves, they’ll go blind, girls are told that “true ladies don’t do such things.” It is just one exercise in shaming after another.”

  Dwynfel: “Kiyui…”

  Kiyui: “No, let me finish. It is no wonder that so many humans end up with these weird fetishes and things. They are so shamed and repressed that instead of indulging in what their bodies want, they try to hide it and conceal it… which causes their minds to spiral in all sorts of directions… then they sneak off to prostitutes to do all sorts of insane stuff because heaven forefend somebody in their actual life found out that they enjoy a bit of fingering. If human society was more open about sex… if the young were encouraged to make decisions based on what their own bodies are telling them… if society didn’t impose so many stupid rules and regulations around the whole thing, then people would be so much more psychologically healthy. And don’t give me that look.”

  Dwynfel: “What look?”

  I swear, I was not giving him any kind of look.

  Kiyui: “That look, on your face, right now. That look that says “You should be ashamed of yourself.” Because I’m not ashamed of my sexual history. It is what it is. And before you say anything, no, I am not saying that we should all go out and shag twelve-year-olds. I am saying that sometimes twelve-year-olds discover this stuff on their own. I’m saying that they shouldn’t be shamed for making that discovery. Nor should younger kids be shamed for touching themselves. It is the shaming that I object to, and it is the shaming that needs to stop!”

  Wow… he is really annoyed… or perhaps I should say passionate… about this topic. I always assumed that he was a prostitute because he had no other options… but quite frankly… after everything he’s said… I’m surprised he left it to become an adventurer… it sounds like a job that was made for him.

  Dwynfel: “You done?”

  Kiyui: “Yes… sorry. The human attitude towards sex just frustrates me so much. Feline society is so much freer and open about it.”

  Dwynfel: “You know that isn’t normal right?”

  I shouldn’t have said that… I should have just agreed with him and attempted to move this conversation on.

  Kiyui: “It isn’t normal to you. My sense of normality is based on my experiences, and is probably a large part of why I’m so sexually open. Whereas you are clearly very repressed.”

  Dwynfel: “I am not repressed. You just have no filter and overshare!”

  Kiyui: “Don’t be embarrassed about it. Its total fine to be repressed. You just need to get a bit more comfortable with things.”

  Well, this conversation sure as shit isn’t making me more comfortable with anything.

  Dwynfel: “No I don’t… if not having foursomes in tents makes me repressed… then fine… call me repressed… I have good reason to be repressed.”

  Kiyui: “And that would be?”

  Dwynfel: “Seriously? You might have noticed this… but I’m a goblin.”

  Kiyui: “Goblins aren’t usually sexually repressed.”

  Dwynfel: “Exactly… I am from a species of degenerate rapists… being repressed keeps my true nature in check!”

  Kiyui: “You’re more than just a goblin, Dwyn.”

  Dwynfel: “What?”

  Kiyui: “Being a goblin doesn’t define you. You are your own person. What you are is not who you are. Embrace who you are and stop always thinking of yourself as just a goblin. You are a good person, remember that.”

  He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead… and now I feel massively uncomfortable… way more than during the awkward sex talk… I don’t know how to continue this conversation… shit… back track… what was he saying before… of yeah.

  Dwynfel: “So… umm… your friends… did you keep seeing them?”

  Kiyui: “I haven’t seen them since then … things kind of went south on my thirteenth birthday… that was when I left home. I miss them though. They were my first true friends. The Saturdays we spent together, even before all the experimentation, were some of the happiest times of my life. They always looked out for me and protected me. Reisuke in particular was always so sweet to me. I do wonder what they are all doing now.”

  Dwynfel: “You could always go back and visit. The Violet Forest is only a few days away by coach.”

  Kiyui: “I can never go back.”