Stab! Stab!
Slashy! Slashy! Slashy!
Stabby! Stabby! Stabby!
Step back, pivot, advance, turn, move!
It’s another day of weapons training. Jane and I have been working hard and I feel I’m finally catching on to the idea of knife fighting. It helps that I think about all of those boys who’ve tried to put moves on me in the past. Life as a maid is hard some days.
But not as hard as the day Miss Kari is having. Everyone in the training salle stops to watch as the spar between her and Sir Nix heats up. Usually sparring with Nix is a pretty calm affair; he can defend against just about anything but he’s not terribly aggressive with his offense. Today he’s channeling a bit of anger.
But when he’s angry he leaves himself open. We all wince as Kari deflects his staff and swings her hammer in for a crushing blow to his chest. With a soft “Oooff!” Nix flies across the floor and plants into a wall. That looks like it really hurt.
Cackling to herself, Kari turns away in triumph to give a victory pose. Then takes a hard strike to the back of the head as Nix appears out of nowhere. How did that happen?
“Rrrr! Nix! You’re healed already? How do you do that? You need to play fair or I’m … I’m telling Addie on you!”
“Nobody likes a tattletale, Kari. Plus Addie’s the one who told me to beat you up good. Seems you’ve gotten too big for your britches, little girl!”
“Who! You! Calling! A! Little! Girl?!?”
“I’m calling you a little girl, little girl. Feeling the irony?”
“I’ll give you irony you rat-bastadge! You’ll eat my irony fist! I’ll bury you in irony! Surrender now and I’ll make sure to put flowers on your grave every year.”
“Ha ha! You wish. This daddy will make you kowtow a hundred times and call him grandpa!”
“Grandpa?!? You dare?”
And the fight goes on. With confusing commentary. It must mean something to them, though, because they end up laughing as they trade blows. Everyone else relaxes a little bit.
Except for Lady Penelope. She still seems really tense, flicking her whip over in the corner. We all know what’s going on there. Everyone except for Nix and Penny, herself. That’s the real irony here. Penny has trouble expressing her feelings and Nix is as dense as they come. It doesn’t help that of everyone in the Family, they’re the two who literally cannot communicate with each other.
It's been two weeks since we started our team combat training. I remember looking at everybody at the end of the first day and seeing a bunch of zombies. We'd been put through the wringer and hung up to dry and we looked like we'd been caught in a cattle stampede. Morale was low, to say the least.
As I look at them today, I see a completely different team. Strong, confident, happy, and ready to take on the world.
We’ve planned out responses to every situation we can reasonably expect to face. And some unreasonable ones as well. We’ve drilled and practiced until we move like a single organism with five bodies. Then we drilled and practiced some more.
We’re as ready as I can expect us to be. I just hope I can do my part. That I'm not leading them to their deaths. That I will be good enough….
It’s late in the day when it happens. I can’t even really describe what’s happening because I don’t remember how it started.
All I know is the nightmare. The endless nightmare: running, running, running through a dark forest, chased by dark shadows of doubt and incompetence. When one catches me it’s like an electric shock coursing through my body as my father’s voice screams at me. Sometimes my mother is there. Just silently watching as I’m verbally eviscerated.
I get up and run, again and again but they always catch me again. And again and again.
I wake up in a hallway. That librarian, the pretty one, is looking down at me in disgust. I try to speak but I cannot. She turns and walks away.
What’s wrong with me? I try to think about how I got here but come up empty. The last thing I remember is being in a meeting with the other Heroes and Commanders. And the Princess. I think she was there, too.
My body is soaked with sweat, my clothes sticking to me as I try to stand up. I realize that I’ve pissed myself. What is happening? Can someone help me? Please?
I lay on my back and stare up at the stars. Beside me is the building known as the guest quarters. A four story building where each floor has a big open terrace on the end. This creates a stair-step effect with stairs fifteen feet tall. We're gonna run up those stairs.
We being Big Bad Bill, Master, and I. Big Bad Bill and Master are drunk. I'm only sixteen years old, so of course I'm not drinking.
Yeah, right! I'm the mighty Kari. I can take a few drinks, nooo problem. Pfffffffffffftttt. I'm so funny. Heh-heh...
Drinking age? Ha!!! Nobody cares. I'm pretty sure I have a buzz. Don't really know what a buzz is, but I is feeling mighty ... buzzy ....
Anyway, we have a bet on. To see who can jump the highest. Ha ha ha! I'll wipe the floor with them! Master can hardly stand up. Bill's counting the floors over and over again and gettin' a different number each time.
It takes awhile but I get them back on track. First one floor at a time. All of us make it up to the top. Boink boink boink boink. And then back down again. Sweet William decides to just take the one big step down. Finishes him for the night. Wimp! He's now laying in a little crater in the garden, drooling on himself.
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That leaves me and Master. We do two steps each next. Ha ha. No problem. Then three steps. That one's close. Master seems to have some trouble with it. Bwahahahaha! Victory will be mine. Strike a pose!
We go for four steps. One jump to the top of the building. I put my all into it. Master passes me on the way up. Damn sandbagger! I'm about four feet short in my jump. Get it? Four feet short? 'Cause that's how tall I am....
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.......
I laugh at my joke all the way down.
Master must have scraped me and Bill out of our craters and carried us home after that 'cause I wake up in my room. With about two dozen splitting headaches competing for space behind my eyes. Thank the Gods that Nix's learned hangover magic.
Too bad I don't get to use it. BANG BANG BANG. A heavy hammering on my door. I guess that's what woke me up in the first place. I get up to answer the door. Moving like a decrepit old woman. Hangovers suck sssooooooooooooo bbbaaaaaaaaddd!!!
Of course, it's my Master. Count de Sadist. Come to get me for our morning training session. My life has become a living hell...
I'm never going to drink again. I swear this with all my heart and soul. Not my guts though. 'Cause I literally puked them ALL up. Twice.
Finally catch up with Nix. Turns out healing magic doesn't help with hangovers. So he says, anyways. Jane, however, gives me a knowing look at breakfast and slips me some horrible smelling potion. That settles things down to dull throbbing and aching. Did I mention I'm never going to drink again?
I lay down in my bed and close my eyes. Time to get to work. My plan is to try to explore the Aedificium through meditation. I clear my mind and begin working toward a trance state.
I wake up two hours later, feeling much better but not having accomplished anything.
Another Dungeon dive. This one down to floor six and a little more interesting than the last one because Kari and I hadn’t mapped out the new floors. A test of Family capabilities: specifically the Situation Map generated through Nix’ powers. Plus now he has ‘vision’ in both Primal and Mana energies in addition to Spirit.
This made it easy to generate a Dungeon map for each floor, including traps, hidden rooms, and other oddities. Saki stepped up and took care of the traps for us. The magical ones she just dissolved their Seals with her own energy. The physical ones she coated with ice. Easy peasy Rio’s sleazy.
I’m not, really, but what the heck. If you’ve got a reputation you can either fight it or lean into it. It’s easier for me to lean into this one.
So nothing much to report. None of the Dungeon critters gave us any problems. Another few Dungeon floors we could each solo if we wanted to. Especially now that we have floor maps. We’re done in time for lunch.
“So have you discovered your purpose?” Addie asks.
That same question again. And I know she knows I don’t have an answer. “To tell you the truth, I’ve been dreading this conversation.” That just pops out. I don’t know why I say it, but it’s true and now it’s out there.
“How so?” Classic Addie, there. Give nothing away. Especially for free.
“You’re a bit … scary, now,” I say. “And I haven’t been able to get a handle on your powers.”
She laughs, then, opens up a little. “I have some of the same powers as you, but not so limited. Not nearly as limited. Which is one of the reasons I invited you to tea.”
“You see? Right there! What you just said, it’s a little scary. Vague but slightly threatening.”
She laughs again. “Okay. I’ll be explicit, but you have to promise to keep my secrets.”
“How can you trust me?”
“You’re a Great Hero. If your promise isn’t good, then whose would be?”
“We all have multiple obligations, sometimes they conflict.”
“Fair enough. Then a promise on your honor.”
“Honor. Something we never would have discussed before. Our lives have changed so much. Okay, you have my promise. On my honor.”
“Thank you. Our lives have only begun to change. It’s up to us to influence the changes in our favor. Now, to business. Your Sigil limits you. In fact, once installed a Sigil takes control of your magic powers and shuts them down except for specific purposes.”
“We’ve figured out that much. But we don’t know what to do about it.”
“The steps are simple: remove the Sigil, then get retrained.”
“We also heard that removing a Sigil sometimes destroys a person’s magic completely.”
“You heard correctly. Under normal circumstances that would be correct. In fact, the chance of that happening are normally unacceptably high.”
“Normally?”
“Others don’t have the resources we do. With our help, removing the Sigil will be one hundred percent safe.”
“How long does retraining take?”
“A good question. Initial training will take a couple of weeks. Then a couple of weeks more to make it so you can learn independently.”
“That’s a long time to be out of training.”
She looks into her teacup pensively, then shifts her gaze to my eyes. I feel a … pull … and fear. I resolve myself and resist. “You’re growing stronger,” she says. “Very well. I’ll tell you a secret. This is not a threat, nor is it a warning. Just something that has been seen.”
She says seen like it has some deeper meaning. Her next words confirm it.
“Something is going to happen. Soon, yet not too soon. It will give us the opportunity to remove the Sigil and the time to train you.”
“That was cryptic, even for you.”
“Thank you. I hadn’t meant it to be but it is what it is.”
“So when this vague thing happens…?”
“Then seek me out. In fact, also tell Altan. No specifics, just that if something happens he should bring you to me.”
I mull this over. Whatever happens isn’t going to be good. At heart I’m a coward, “Can we change that future? Do it a different way?”
“I know of no way to change something that has been seen. Not that I’m an expert. We’re on your side. Once you come under my care I will guarantee your safety.”
“Can’t ask for more than that, I guess.” I mean to say it sarcastically but it comes out sincere. “Very well, if such a time comes, I will seek you out and accept your assistance.”
Addie smiles. A genuine smile that lights up her pale face. “I’m so glad. Nix has been so worried. He won’t stop worrying me about helping out the Great Hero and the Great Saint. He’s got the biggest crush on you.”
“Really? I’ve heard other rumors. Something about hot elves…?”
She laughs at that. A genuine laugh to go with her genuine smile. Then she changes the topic. The maids refill our tea and bring out cookies. I sit back and relax for the first time in a long while.
I prepare the ingredients very carefully. This has to be done perfectly or it won't work. A mistake at this point will be devastating.
I stir everything together carefully, almost tenderly. Then shape the little cylinders by hand, one after the other.
Activating the heat rune under the pan, I bring the oil to the proper temperature and carefully lower each cylinder into the hot grease. A delightful sizzle comes to my ears. A wonderful scent wafts across my nose.
Is this it? Will my dream come true this night?
I grab the wire strainer and carefully lift the little brown nuggets out of the oil.
Tater tots!