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Chapter 77

  Patricia Greenwood

  —

  Truth be told, I wasn't a huge fan of Contests, especially not compared to Battles. I enjoyed them, sure, but I never went out of my way to watch them before Leto had come around. I still found them mildly entertaining at best, but the first time I ever walked in to see one in person, right now, I was excited.

  Today I would get to watch two of my daughters compete in a Contest, while their other mother judged the whole thing! It was brilliant, and I was looking forward to it immensely.

  That made it even worse when I entered, only to watch my most insane daughter disappear behind a door. I frowned, but only for a moment. Then I had two teenage girls in front of me, and I smiled as I bent to give them hugs.

  "I missed it! Is she still pale?" Dexter had gleefully sent me status updates of Erin, of course… They both smiled and nodded, and I barked out a laugh.

  "She'll get over it… probably. Let's go ahead and get our seats…" I trailed off at the looks on their faces. Their looks at me, then at the plethora of food and drink around us at various stalls. The two of them didn't have anything yet, and I sighed.

  "Fine, snacks it is." They perked up, but I kept going.

  "You get to carry the Pokemon's snacks." Their faces didn't fall, they were strong… but we had a lot of Pokemon, and some of those buckets were huge…

  I might have to help, actually…

  Scratch that, we needed Grace and Alfred to help us…

  —

  —

  We almost made it to the ticket counter when we were stopped by a very nicely dressed man stepping in front of us and smiling.

  "Ms. Greenwood? We have your seating through here." He must have picked up on our reluctance, and our wariness, because he sighed.

  "Dexter didn't say anything, I guess? He got your seats reserved…?" Alex perked up.

  "Oh yeah, he did say we had a nice booth picked out… Why are you showing us to it?" A very good question, but the man only smiled wider.

  "It's special seating."

  —

  —

  I was regretting my decision to come much more right about now. We all were, Leaf more than most.

  "Dexter is going to pay for this! He could have at least warned us!" I agreed…

  I probably wouldn't have come if I had known we would be sitting with Leto! Not that I hated sitting with her, but that was a lot of attention! Did she care? Absolutely not! If she was a Queen presiding over a Contest today, then we were all 'royalty', apparently… Leto's family couldn't have lesser seats, oh no!

  Plus, she knew we would hate this, and would probably take vicious delight in our discomfort… I would have to get her back in some way…

  We were sitting in a small, blank room right now, waiting for the crowd to settle down… The other judges would introduce themselves, then we would come out… We didn't have to do or say anything, but we would be in full view before Leto released herself…

  I was going to do something mean to Dexter…

  The door opened, and I saw the man from before.

  "Ms. Greenwood and family? We're ready."

  Something very mean…

  —

  —

  We somehow managed to get to our seats without much trouble, and they were actually somewhat worse than I expected them to be. They were very nice seats, actually, plush and comfortable… We were also up on a very short stone dais, because Leto couldn't just block more people behind her, not that there were many along the wall… We were right on the edge of the stage, off to one side, so technically it was a great view.

  We were also in great view, what with the seating rising up around us… The seating that was full of people… over three hundred people, in fact…

  "You seem to be… mildly excited to judge this Contest, Leto." The older man who asked that looked almost bored, idly staring up at Leto's huge face as her tail slowly wagged.

  She grinned down at him, Dexter floating near her head to interpret her rumbling growls.

  "'I would have rather competed, but I admit that there are few as elegant as I am in battle. This is an acceptable substitute, honestly. It will be fun to pass judgment on the weak and strong alike.'" Dexter managed to get that out before he began laughing, the sound cutting out after a couple seconds of childish laughter.

  The entire crowd was staring at Leto, and of course, we were right here…

  I knew most of it wasn't even who we were, just the fact that we were casually sitting next to Leto was probably enough for most people to stare… Not to mention our Pokemon… There were certainly plenty who knew who we were, though, who I was… I really hope the day ended nicely… I couldn't help but hunch my shoulders slightly, as if that would make me invisible to the crowd…

  "First Performance, Amelia!"

  I jerked a little. Somehow I had missed the opening, but I knew the basics and the rules. This was an Open Contest, unrelated to any official Contest Circuit, so no Ribbons for the winner, just the prize money. There were thirty two Contestants, half of which would get to Battle after their Performance. Their Performance would be judged first, and also their battles. You could destroy your opponent and still lose, so you had to turn the battles into performances as well.

  I thought that Artemis probably could after watching her dominate a Tyrantrum. She was an Alpha, yes, but she had still done so well! I was most worried about the Performance itself, honestly. Nobody had any idea what Erin worked on with Artemis, except Hecate of course, and she wouldn't talk…

  Well, Dexter, too, but he was currently working as Leto's voice…

  "Judges?"

  I did it again!

  I glanced over to see the judges on their own small dais looking bored. The older man leaned forward and triggered his microphone.

  "Unimaginative, but well executed. Five out of ten." The girl's face fell, but the next judge, a Nurse Joy, smiled warmly at her before squinting at some papers.

  "It may have been unimaginative, but if I'm reading this right, this was your first Contest?" The girl managed to squeak out a yes, and Nurse Joy smiled again.

  "I would say seven out of ten, but work on something to make it unique next time." The poor girl's face got some color back as the next judge, an older woman, scowled.

  "Good attempt, and a great first attempt, still boring. Four out of ten."

  The stadium got a little quiet as Leto leaned forward and squinted at her. She rumbled a little, and I heard Dexter's voice over the sound system.

  "'Everything starts from a first step. That wasn't a bad step, but you need more confidence. Six out of ten.'" That poor girl actually perked up at that, met Leto's eyes, and rapidly dropped her head again.

  Leto's body quivered a little, and I knew before I glanced up what I would see. She was grinning gleefully, and she was trying not to wag her tail more than it already was… especially because that could potentially lead to her entire body wagging, and I preferred living…

  This was going to be a long morning…

  At least Leto was very happy judging people…

  —

  —

  I managed to actually watch the next Performances, and I found myself conflicted. Some of them were genuinely interesting, but probably very easy from a technical standpoint. That Flareon's huge Flamethrower was impressive, and roughly shaped like a Flareon, but the fire hadn't been tight and controlled like Seraphina could work it, the flame was just vaguely Flareon-shaped.

  Some of them were terrifyingly talented, however.

  This was an Open Contest, so there was everything from first-time beginners to professionals here. Most of the performances were simple, and judged fairly, but some had been almost full nines or tens… Leto had really enjoyed her comments to those people, and her praise being taken so well. To be fair to the contestants, it wasn't every day that a gigantic maneater praised you…

  The Honchkrow and Chatot had both quite impressed me with their skills. I may not be a huge fan of Contests, but just like Battles, it was a little different watching it in person…

  One Flaaffy nearly gave the crowd heart attacks. A cleverly controlled Thunder Wave had formed a large, roaring Leto. It had been rough, and only formed the image properly for a couple seconds, but it was enough. Leto had briefly roared in glee at the sight, something I was used to, but the crowd wasn't… The panic that nearly erupted was put to rest by Leto as well, actually. The look of embarrassment was dreadfully clear on her huge face…

  That one Galarian Ponyta was absolutely stunning as well, what appeared to be Swift stars somehow hovering in the air around it as it performed a routine… I don't think I could bring myself to eat one of them like I did Kantonian Ponyta, honestly. They were both adorable, but… Those pastel colors and fluffy fur… Not to mention that little horn!

  Then Erin came out, and the hall got quiet again. They got quiet for every contestant, but it felt more poignant this time. She had the outfit Alex picked out on, detached sleeves included, but wore her jacket as a cape, despite her insistence it was a cloak. She had her headband on, as usual, but there were only two feathers in it… She walked out and bowed towards the judges, then nodded at Leto.

  Leto nodded back with a huge grin.

  "Artemis!"

  Artemis popped out with her head held high, the necklace Tinkatink had made her dangling from her neck shining in the bright lights. It made the single brilliantly red feather attached to the chain stand out even more. Artemis practically preened for a second before looking at the center of the stage, with its natural flooring, before scoffing. She raised a large stone pillar out of the ground and turned to stare at Erin. Erin looked confused, though.

  "Bend down, I'ma ride you around the pillar, right?"

  Leto began to growl for a split second, then stopped and chuckled as Artemis growled in Erin's face.

  My child wasn't scared, of course, and just continued to look confused, head tilted to the side.

  "Why else would you put the pillar up? I'll hop on real fas- Whoa!" The crowd lightly gasped as Erin comically dodged out of the Ancient Power that began to spin around Artemis. The small boulders were a good deal shakier than that Aurorus' had been, but she had picked that up fast…

  "Artemis, we can talk about thi-" Erin theatrically twirled to the right, out of the way of a fast boulder that joined the first in chipping away at the pillar behind Erin. Her clothes fluttered from the sheer speed of the boulder's passage, and I had to assume that was the point of wearing those…

  "You know I love y-" The crowd lightly chuckled, but there was more than a little tension underneath it… There were some very rough details being formed in the pillar now, but it was hard to tell… Erin comically pulled her stomach in as a smaller boulder shot through the curve her body made, gouging out a large chunk of rock. I saw a faint flicker around Erin and squinted.

  Ah. Artemis had a Protect on her, but if it was clear like that, even after being hit by something small like stone chips, that meant it would do nothing for one of those boulders… I felt my headache begin to build, but I did my best to push it away. They weren't dumb enough to risk their life for a Contest… I was relatively sure of that fact…

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  Mostly sure.

  "I'll buy you a-" The last rock orbiting Artemis flew past Erin's head, hair billowing back from the speed of its passage.

  Then Artemis darted in at Erin.

  Erin yelped and ran to the pillar, barely 'dodging' every Move like the Bites, Dragon Tails and Claws that gouged out the rapidly-forming statue.

  "Look, you're messing up your pillar! How can we ride around it now-" Erin hopped over a huge Bite that tore out most of the bottom of the statue, and then it was much clearer. It was a statue of a Tyrantrum, but still very rough. They had… one minute left.

  "Oh yeah, we were going to do the statue! Duh!" The laugh from the crowd was a bit more animated this time, but Artemis just glared at her for a moment before touching her forehead to the statue. It began to rapidly smooth itself out, Artemis cutting finer details out along the way. The finished statue was smooth and reasonably well defined, honestly. Not amazing, but it was clearly a Tyrantrum. Artemis stepped forward to Erin's side and they bowed towards the judges as the buzzer rang and the audience clapped.

  I had a few… feelings about their performance. It had been kind of awkward to watch, honestly, but so had most of the younger contestants' performances… I also knew it was safer than it looked, and I trusted Artemis… Accidents happened, though… Still, she looked radiantly happy, a sharp contrast to Erin. Erin looked 'normal', sure, she wasn't pale or anything… she was just blank now that her Performance was over and she had to stare out at the crowd. She had looked much more alive 'dodging' boulders…

  "Unimaginative, but impressive control. I didn't think the Tiny Tyrant would choose comedy, so points for the surprise. Six out of ten." That older man was hard to impress, but I guess their Performance was kind of simple…

  "I see this is your first Contest as well. Is there a reason you chose something so dangerous?" A very 'Nurse Joy' question to ask, honestly, but my craziest daughter just smiled widely.

  "I don't know what you mean by danger, though? I wasn't in any danger whatsoever."

  Nurse Joy frowned at her.

  "The boulders? If you had tripped you might have been hit." A good point! Now I was getting a little more upset, myself, but Erin kept smiling.

  "Artemis could have pulled them away from me if I tripped. We practiced this because she can control her Ancient Power that precisely, if anything was going to go wrong it would have already happened during practice." Nurse Joy settled down a little, then shrugged.

  "If that's the case, then a daring bit of comedy and creation. Eight out of ten." Artemis perked up, then wilted a little as the final human judge spoke up.

  "Basic and too shocking. One or two dodges would have been okay, but that much can alienate many people watching, make them feel like they are about to witness tragedy. Still, the technical skills were solid, if unimaginative. Five out of ten."

  The stadium went quiet as Leto bent down, grinning at both of her daughters. Erin seemed to rally under her gigantic mothers gaze, smiling wryly at her as her back straightened.

  Dexter seemed almost solemn as he interpreted, and I knew for a fact that he must be able to do that manually, because there was no way in any universe that Dexter could have gotten that out with a straight face without it.

  "'Your comedy was weak, but somewhat effective. The skills demonstrated were… acceptable. Barely. Five out of ten for my foolish daughters who didn't adequately prepare.'" Erin and Artemis blushed as they walked off. Erin looked up, saw us on the dais, and froze. Her eyes drifted over to the contestant exits, but a growl from Leto made her hunch her shoulders, shake her head, and trudge over to join us.

  To join us in everyone's line of sight…

  She trudged into the small 'booth', avoiding the Pokemon out, and looked around briefly.

  "Is there enough room for everyone…?" Dignity curled herself up and everyone shuffled a little closer before the rest of Erin's team came out.

  I was used to them all these days, of course, but they were intimidating Pokemon… especially Kallen! He was huge now! In fact- Ah, Erin noticed…

  "Uhh, Kallen… I'm sorry, but you might be a bit too tall to stay out, are you blocking people's views?" Kallen glanced behind us, then up at Leto's huge side, then to Maddy, tall even while hunched over, then back at Erin. Erin flushed red at his stare.

  "Okay, yeah, if mom is fine then so are you." That made sense, honestly… We were along the wall as well…

  "So, that was 'safer' than it looked?" She smiled at my question while Artemis did her best to look too proud of herself next to Erin.

  "It was fine, yeah. Artemis is precise when she's only throwing one or two boulders, like she was. Now, a swarm? She'd hit me if she tried to weave me through one… We kind of wanted to do that, actually, but… nah…" I flinched, but at least she was still sane enough to test it first…

  Alex leaned forward, smiling.

  "So, what do you think, Erin? Going to get through the Performance portion?" She shrugged at Alex's question.

  "I was number twenty, so… probably? Unless like half of the rest are insanely good… Then we just have to fight elegantly, right Artemis?" Artemis perked up and nodded her head eagerly, and I smiled at the sight. Leto may not be able to compete, but she got to judge, and her daughters got to compete…

  Nurse Joy cleared her throat while the stage was briefly empty.

  "So, Leto, you were kind of harsh on your, ah, daughters, at least compared to the other inexperienced contestants. Any reason for that?" I grinned at the question. Me and everyone in the booth, actually, even Erin.

  Dexter laughed a few times before 'clearing' his nonexistent throat.

  "'Erin knew since Galar that we wanted to participate, and not only did she not practice at all, neither did Artemis. They were foolish, and also played it too safe. There was no real danger, so they lost a point.'" I was chuckling now, but Nurse Joy looked a bit more upset.

  "Of course there shouldn't be real danger! Have you been taking points away from everyone for that?" Leto just shook her head.

  "'No, humans are frail. My daughters aren't frail, though.'" Dexter managed to get that out before bursting into laughter, laughter that cut off entirely a second later even as his phone continued to shake, the crowd lightly laughing at the statement as well.

  Nurse Joy looked a bit out of her element now, but she eventually shook her head.

  "I think we'll have to agree to disagree that humans can stand up to flying boulders, but… fair enough, I guess…"

  The next contestant came on stage, and I glanced at Erin. She still looked highly amused by Leto, but her eyes would occasionally dart around, and she looked a little paler, now…

  At least her Performance was done?

  —

  —

  The rest of the Performances were mediocre, honestly. There was one Sentret that was very talented, but the rest… One poor girl and her Kricketune had attempted a song, and while the Kricketune had played a delightful little melody, its trainer… Well, hopefully she found some way to express herself without singing, honestly. That, or took quite a few lessons. Erin wasn't a great singer by any means, but she could at least control her pitch…

  One Performance outshone all others, though… unfortunately.

  Usually it would be a good thing to outshine your competition… if it had been their Performance that outshone everyone else. No, unfortunately they didn't get that lucky…

  I really don't know what that absolute idiot of a trainer was thinking… He was a skilled rider, and his Pokemon was also highly skilled… It had looked more like a Rapidash than anything else, the way it had seemed to gracefully dance its way around the stage, and obviously trained very hard…

  I still felt terribly for that poor Pokemon… It had performed so admirably, despite shaking the entire time…

  Tauros were Leto's second favorite food, after Aurorus… She had been drooling part of the Performance until I slapped her leg! The sound an Alpha Tyrantrum's lips made when they smacked was not a pleasant one, either.

  I felt worse for it and its trainer when it was time for Leto's comments.

  "'Very impressive. If I had seen moves like that in the plains, I would have let you go. Nine out of ten.'" The entire crowd had burst into laughter at that… I had as well, but that had been cruel. Hilarious, though…

  We weren't that surprised to see Erin move onto the Battle portion, but she did barely pass. She was the second to last in terms of points, actually. Something that Artemis somehow didn't care about. 'Victory is victory', according to Meowstic… I did have to wonder how Artemis was going to look 'elegant' fighting, though… I assumed her speed?

  Erin had four Battles to win the Contest, but I wasn't too worried… At least, I wasn't at first.

  Artemis' first opponent was that unfortunate Sentret, and it actually surrendered immediately the second the match began…

  I felt bad for it as the entire hall grew disappointed, honestly. I don't think I could fight an Alpha Tyrunt while her mother watched… Artemis alone was more than a little intimidating, so I understood why it surrendered…

  Erin's second match-up was against an older trainer and his Alolan Persian…

  I hadn't known they could move like that… I thought they were idle and lazy!

  I don't think most of the audience knew one could move like that, either. It practically rode Artemis' back while attacking her before Artemis managed to summon that barrier of spinning stones, which knocked it out… they still almost lost on sheer points. It made good sense, too, because they had looked… quite foolish. Leto was, of course, their largest critic. She got vicious delight out of criticizing Artemis' performance, in fact…

  "'I was unaware my daughter had become a comedian after her Performance. There's no other reason for what I just witnessed…'"

  Leto could be a bit… rough… Maybe even a bitc- bit cruel…

  Nah, Leto was a bitch sometimes… I loved her, still a bitch.

  Erin's third opponent was interesting. Delcatty were one of those Pokemon that most researchers were sure had actively changed themselves to align more with humanity. Skitty barely defended themselves in the wild, in fact, and Skitty were very common house Pokemon in Hoenn… Delcatty were also beautiful Pokemon, and for a brief moment I wanted one at the Ranch… I felt the idle irritation from my Meowstic 'guard' and smiled. The Meowstic were adorable too, of course…

  He bared his teeth at me before going back to watching the Battle, which I should do as well…

  I guess some Delcatty could battle just fine when they wanted to, despite their reputation as non-battling divas. To be fair, they probably felt more inclined to battle in Contests, considering how common they were to find in them. I had seen Fairy energy rush at Artemis as soon as the match started, almost certainly a Charm, before I got distracted…

  Delcatty was practically sidestepping the small boulders Artemis sent its way, almost lazily making its way closer to her. Artemis had been using two spinning circles of boulders to supply her projectiles, but as I focused she sent every one at Delcatty in a wide blast. The dust cleared almost immediately, revealing Delcatty calmly walking closer, completely untouched.

  Okay, that was kind of creepy… Like a bad horror movie or something. It was also costing Artemis points rapidly…

  Artemis, though, got irritated. Probably that something so cute and adorable dared to treat her as weak… In fact, I was certain that was her thought process, and I was certain that Delcatty knew she would be easy to provoke… I loved Artemis, but she was still a Tyrunt. Her control of her temper was honestly amazing, but she still snapped occasionally.

  Like right now.

  The Roar was more than mildly overpowered, honestly. My ears were ringing from the sound as Artemis lunged forward with a dark Bite, but once again, Delcatty just… wasn't there as it sidestepped. A pink aura shone around its front paws momentarily before it reared up and swatted at Artemis' head. It looked almost playful, but the blow, a Play Rough, had a very disproportionate impact, however.

  Artemis' head slammed into her shoulder before the rest of her body even began to follow her down as she collapsed. She was moving as she hit the ground, of course, and spun into a Dragon Tail while rising, one that Delcatty leisurely hopped over, Artemis's points dropping even further.

  Then Artemis actually got mad.

  She began to stomp her feet, and I knew even as she began that this wasn't going to be a tightly-controlled Stomping Tantrum like I'd seen her use before. She was upset, and she was about to make that clear. I saw Erin frown, and I had to assume that aura wasn't working very well…

  Then Artemis moved, stomping towards Delcatty, and I grew worried for a number of reasons.

  This was not elegant, which is how Artemis had wanted to battle, and it didn't seem like it would work, honestly. Delcatty was fast, but more than that, it seemed to almost know where Artemis would be… I should have looked up the contestant, honestly. They were probably professionals… Almost certainly, actually, considering that Delcatty, and how even now it was idly weaving around Artemis' stomps. That was no Move, Delcatty was just fast and experienced...

  Artemis' Stomping Tantrum stopped, leaving her panting. Delcatty was a few feet away, and simply… sat down. It sat down, yawned, and began to lick its paw.

  Luckily for Artemis, and her temper, the buzzer went off. I looked up at the scoreboard and confirmed what I already knew. Artemis and Erin had lost through points. The Delcatty had lost a few, but not many at all…

  Oh no…

  My head snapped back down, but Erin had things under something resembling control. Her brow was furrowed as she glared at Artemis, who was quivering. I didn't hear her growling, at least not yet, and I was very grateful a moment later when she stiffly bowed to the judges and returned herself.

  Oh Arceus, it was going to be a long night for those girls… Fourth place for their first ever Contest wasn't bad, at least? It was actually quite good!

  I knew Artemis would not see it that way, unfortunately…

  —

  —

  "Let me guess, she's not happy?"

  Erin rolled her eyes at my question. She had changed back into her dress, and it looked adorable under her cape- I mean jacket. Her jacket slung around her shoulders… Totally not a cape like the furrier had designed it to be, no, not at all… We were walking out of the Contest Hall, but Erin looked very unhappy right now…

  "She's basically roaring about how it's 'not fair', and that Delcatty cheated… Honestly? She's not listening to anything I say right now, so I'm just letting her get it out of her system. Just be glad you can't read aura…"

  Meowstic snorted in amusement from my shoulder.

  ""She's putting it too nicely. Artemis is basically pitching a- Actually, want to hear?"" 'Absolutely not!'

  I did not need to hear that, no… I felt him laugh and shook my head.

  "Well, if you can ignore it long enough, want to grab a late lunch before I leave?" I smiled as all three looked at each other for a moment.

  There was no more of that 'follow Erin's insanity' energy remaining, it seemed… thankfully. Erin didn't need to 'command' or 'lead' the two of them, and she didn't want to, either. I guess her natural aura of 'I'm going to stomp in a direction, follow me if you don't want to get lost' had finally worn off… Probably around the time she accepted being a kid again, honestly…

  They eventually shrugged, Alex speaking up.

  "Yeah, sure, sounds good. If you choose someplace the Pokemon can come out, though, you have to pay…" I chuckled a little as we exited the Hall.

  "I think I can manage that. I thought you girls had plenty of money, though?" Alex shook her head, but didn't appear to be embarrassed. Erin, though? She looked dreadfully embarrassed as she did, and she caught my eyes.

  "I'm not broke, but I spent my money kind of freely, honestly. We don't get many chances to battle and earn more, and after food for everyone… Well, I guess I spent a little too much?" Alex snorted a little.

  "You had me buy an expensive subwoofer for you, you have a Storage Ball Backpack to go with all of your Storage Balls, your refrigerated Storage Balls, a Stasis Ball for skins, the shower system, the two meat spits, and you have like, what, five TM's? I bought two. I also started with a lot less than you, same as Leaf." Leaf laughed and nodded.

  "Yeah, I had a hundred thousand? That was like, two TM's and some food."

  Erin was bright red now, and we stopped at the bottom of the steps. I frowned, looking around.

  "If I remember correctly, there's a decent little diner down this way with a Pokemon-friendly section. Leto won't be able to join us, but everyone else will." They perked up and turned to follow me, but of course, I couldn't just have a nice day…

  "Patricia?"

  I recognized the voice. Deep and gravely, but smooth somehow. Maybe a little frailer than I'd last heard, honestly…

  I sighed heavily as the kids all froze. I had really hoped to avoid this, but I had also wanted to watch Artemis and Erin… I turned with a small, neutral smile on my face.

  The older man standing there with a small smile was… dignified, I guess? He wore his suit, of course. He always wore a suit… It looked a little looser in the shoulders, though, and that was odd. I mean, him losing muscle as he aged would be normal, sure… Why hadn't it been tailored, though? How many times had I been hassled for having 'ill-fitting clothes' on?

  He looked… old. He was only fifty five, so he wasn't aged, but it was still enough to shock me. Over a decade since I saw it last, and his face went and got saggy. Those eyes were still a bright green just like mine, but the eyes themselves were a bit obscured by the new, thick glasses…

  More than anything that presence he had always had before was absent. That, or my own presence was far greater than his these days…

  That probably made more sense, honestly.

  I managed not to sigh again before I spoke, but it was hard. All three girls were watching warily, eyeing me to gauge my response.

  "Hi, dad. It's been awhile."

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