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  Another night of Sam, even longer than last, so very long. I woke up to my left eye stretching again. It reminds me of which life I'm in, it takes me a while to believe it. Longer every day.

  It's a strange ritual for waking. The memory cuts off, my eye changes, I check my purple cat eye before the residual mental mana fades. I generate some more mental mana, my core is full again but it needs something to nibble on and I need to get my eye back on before Marie catches me.

  You have gained [Convert Arcane to Mental Mana] Apprentice 1

  Apprentice - you can attach arcane stores to passive mental mana skills

  Gain 4 exp

  Marie enters the room. I take the opportunity to ask her about my tier change.

  “Good morning, Marie I—”

  “Let me stop you right there, as you are now my subordinate you are to either refer to me as [Head Attendant] if it's the start of a conversation or ma'am, never a name without first one of those. If you enter the employ of one who has multiple attendants a hierarchy will be maintained. Best to get in the habit now.”

  ? Human Head Attendant

  O, guess everything is different now, I will my ring to show the proper title, “My apologies, [Head Attendant], congratulations on your new title.”

  “Do not look so glum Sara, you had a question.”

  My eyes widened, "That's the first time you've said my name.”

  “You are now my subordinate, Sara, and no longer just the granddaughter of our [Lady], how I address you and speak to you has changed with our social dynamic. What did I tell you when addressing those who employ you.”

  “To not speak unless spoken to, to keep answers curt and direct, and defer to one's employer if necessary … um ma'am.” I smile at the change, I may have gained formality with grandmother, my [Lady], but I now will get familiarity from Marie. To be honest it was already quite formal with the [Lady] so this will be all upsides.

  “Good Sara, you may also defer to me as well if the matter does not directly impact our [Lady], now then, your question?”

  “I gained a new tier in [Convert Arcane to Mental Mana] ma'am, it allows me to attach my arcane reserve to mental mana passives, I just wanted to confirm that it was probably a bad idea to do so.”

  She considers, “I would not suggest attaching your core, it's a rather greedy thing, we can't have you inadvertently running out of mana. Attach your arcane to your mental sight, I will monitor and see if your natural regeneration can stave off the drain.”

  Her eyes glow white, and I do as she requests. She stares at me for a bit then nods.

  “You can leave as it is Sara, your vast stores seem to keep up with your poor conversion rate. This will improve the skill faster. Any other questions?”

  Do I really have a lot of mana? It is a combination of mental fortitude and soul, which at least for the second is rather outside my age group. A different question comes to mind.

  “How come you don't use junior attendant when referring to me.”

  “I am your superior Sara, when I use your title it will be to get your attention, and most likely will be a reprimand following after. I see you have already swapped your title, that is good, I expect you to show the proper title depending on what work you are doing.”

  So I'll need to constantly swap when I am at Belna's.

  “Ma'am, does that mean you won't be using the lightning rod for reprimanding me.”

  She gives me a rather wolfish grin “Now Sara, why would I give up such a useful tool for behavior reinforcement, you correct yourself ever so quickly. Now come, the day is waiting and I need to teach you how to put your hair in a bun, it will be your responsibility tomorrow.”

  Still a sadist.

  -----

  “Aw, your hair matches Marie's. Where are your resists at.”

  It is just about time to spar again, mother seems to be checking on my resists before we begin now.

  “Blunt is apprentice 2 and Crush just grew to apprentice 7, mother”

  Lucky Marie not enforcing decorum between me and mom. It is likely why the [Lady] chose lunch to be when I would be attending her, mom already at the guard house by then. Mother is wincing at my report.

  “I do apologize in advance but the next few spars will be brutal Sara, I will spend some mana to soothe the greatest of your coming pains.”

  But not all of them, if I became accustomed to being healed, it would lead to recklessness according to my mother. I recall pouting at the time. She did fix my scars though.

  -----

  I gained four levels of blunt in that spar, any complaint I could have had were silenced with another gain of crush. I'm cleaning up right now, Marie is no longer in charge of that. She comes in and notices I am struggling to reach places to wipe down. Corset life amiright. She puts down what she was carrying and comes over to me.

  “Sara, I will assist you with cleaning up for now, when your core ignites I'll be teaching you how to make mental constructs so that you can reach these stubborn places.”

  Looking at the blackboard, I ask a question.

  “[Head Attendant], would not a stick with a cloth attached do to better preserve my mana?”

  “Perhaps, if your charge was to defend our [Lady] as well, but we will need to improve your [Mana Manipulation:External] and this will do fine.”

  Cleaning done she motions me to the clothing she brought. It's the same dress as the one Marie is always wearing, just in my size. There are two of them, it is dark blue, has long sleeves and comes up to the neck, the waist is tiny before it flares out.

  “As you are still growing you will only have one spare outfit. It is your employer duty to supply you with your work dress. Every night you will need to wash your spare to be ready for the next day. This water rod will assist you in drying the garment.”

  I get the dress over my head, it has amazing give which I definitely needed, though once at my waist, the garment is hugging it. Past Sara has made clothing a lot more difficult to put on. I see blurry lines of arcane going over the garment and I light up my [Arcane Sight] to see the enchantment lines better.

  “I never noticed the arcane workings before, ma'am.”

  “That is likely due to the clothing being so close to the body, without a high enough skill, it all blends into the individual body.”

  Guess thats why I only ever noticed mom void top, its distortion away from her body made it noticeable.

  “The clothing has a simple wrinkle free enchantment, I don't suggest rolling it into a ball, but if you lay it out after drying you will be fine. The next set we buy you will not have this perk, I will be teaching you how to embroider it on the inside, in case the one who employs you does not provide it, you are not to damage or mar the outside, understood?”

  “Yes, ma'am.”

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  “Here, place the water rod in this pocket, it is quite useful for spills.”

  She smiles at me, I return it. She then takes out a case and opens it. They are a small set of half frame glasses, the same type that Marie wears. There is a chain attached to keep them from falling. I look at Marie, the question on my face quite evident. She flicks me in my forehead.

  “Sara, you must always control the emotion on your face, it is a useful skill to have as nobility and paramount for an attendant. Now stop rubbing your forehead, you are as bad as your mother. Take these glasses in hand and cycle your mana through them, then place them on.”

  I do as she says, they get smaller, perfectly sized for my head. I loop the chain to the back of my neck before resting the glasses on my nose. I can see the mental magic in the glass. I start to get nervous.

  “Be at ease Sara, our [Lady] is able to use mental magic to send messages to these glasses. You will see the same messages I do, you do not need to respond off duty unless specifically requested. I do suggest maintaining decorum with our [Lady] if she request you in that way during off hours.”

  Another opportunity to test. In a way this is just fifteen years of service, five for this household and ten at school. With that in mind I make my decision and respond.

  “Ma'am, decorum should be respected at all hours.”

  She gives me a wry smile, “Sara, she is still your grandmother, and this only for training purposes. You can still treat her like your grandma mornings and night time.”

  “May I speak freely, ma'am”

  She nods the wry smile slipping, I continue, “Titles are important to me, so very important. That said I was not given training attendant but junior attendant but the title itself is such a disgrace that it has no additional stats assigned. I will be recognized as a full attendant before I leave for school. I wish to be properly in the employ of our [Lady] and I will treat her as such even if she refuses. I will give this my all because losing this recognition is too harrowing for me. I beg you to make me the best attendant possible, you always have been firm and I need that structure. Please enforce decorum as if I was not our [Lady] granddaughter.”

  She bends her knees and wipes the tear from my eye, she has a sad smile on her face. She straightens up, and I feel her presence expand.

  “I have heard your wish, [Junior Attendant] Sara, come gather your things meager as they are. One such as you is not fit to sleep in this room.”

  “It is as you say, ma'am.”

  -----

  I enter the dining room with Marie for breakfast. Mother greets me.

  “Aw, and now you're dressed like Marie too.”

  I nod, “It is as you say, miss.”

  It tore my heart but I've committed. Mother smiles at my statement thinking I am being glib, ah thats worse, the smile fades as she sees me pass my former chair. I give a small bow to my [Lady].

  “A good morning to you, my [Lady].”

  The lady nods and is giving me a wry look. I promptly proceed to behind and to the right of her shoulder standing with my hands clasped in front of my waist. The head attendant is heading to the kitchen door.

  “Sara, are you not going to sit?” Mother again, no Miss Cecelia, I need to keep myself separate.

  I'm not sure what to do, it is not a matter for my [Lady] to address, well not until she fully embraces her role, I decide to turn towards the [Head Attendant] and defer to her and learn how to deflect such unreasonablely loving commands. The [Head Attendant] understand and addresses Miss Cecelia.

  “Miss Cecelia, I ask that you please, do not burden our newly employed [Junior Attendant], she does not wish to break decorum even at the request of our [Lady]’s daughter.”

  Long and yet still curt. Much to learn. Miss Cecelia looks like she has been slapped. She keeps her peace. I stand behind the [Lady] the entire time, there really is no talking, the mood is sour. As I'm not on duty, I do not help when the [Head Attendant] brings in food. Only enough for two. I watch carefully as she first provides a plate to our [Lady] and then Miss Cecelia, then the cutlery in the same order. She then provides their drinks much in the same manner as she would tea. When it comes time to clean up she motions me to help clear the table. She grabs the plates and I the cutlery. Before the [Head Attendant] can lead me to the kitchen, Miss Cecelia speaks up.

  “Mother, I would like a moment talk to your new employee.”

  The [Lady] nods to me and I follow behind Miss Cecelia out into the foyer. The [Head Attendant] stays behind with our [Lady]. She begins to climb the stairs.

  “I apologize for my impertinence, but where are we heading to Miss.”

  “To your room Sara.”

  “Then I must apologize again, Miss, my room is this way.”

  I extend my hand out like I remember the [Head Attendant] doing when I first arrived. The miss knows where I am leading her so I take my position behind her as we walk to the servant quarters. When we reach a set of four doors we stop. Only two of the rooms are occupied now.

  “Which one.”

  I open the door to the smallest room, and allow the Miss to go in first just as the [Head Attendant] would have. There is room for a bed, and a desk opposite the bed, a chest is beside the desk for my belongings. There's only enough room for one person between the desk and bed. Perfect for a live in [Junior Attendant].

  “Sit Sara.”

  The anger is present. I attempted what the [Head Attendant] demonstrated before.

  “Miss I don't believe that—”

  “Sara, sit.”

  There is no compelling magic and yet I felt it all the same. I do as she says, she is still my mother. She gives me a look to explain. I comply as her daughter.

  “Mother, … I um, remember how happy I was to have gained [Common] apprentice four while I was reading with you last night.”

  “Yes, we were both quite excited that your minor intelligence boon was faster memory recall. Mother and I hoped it would help speed you past your trauma.”

  “I had started keeping track of days on my calender by the end of the previous night.”

  “You mean Sam's calendar.”

  Shit right, I'm still Sara. Not Sam, Sara. I take a shallow breath. I continue.

  “What was eighty days of unbearable has become two hundred and eight days. I feel like the one in a dream is me now then it is Sam, I just am Sam for too long. I know in the end I will see me outside my dreams and that's when I'll die.”

  I'm shuddering now, losing sense of myself, there are tears, mother is kneeling at my bed hugging me, my arms do not respond, they are to my side.

  “Come daughter, give a proper hug.”

  I comply, it is hard but I do it, what I must say next will tear myself down, it will be my last allowance of warmth for a long while.

  “I still don't understand why you are acting this way and why you are in this room.”

  “My life is a dream, the last few days have been wonderful, but it's so wonderful I can't keep hold of myself, I keep feeling like Sam is the real one, and I am his dream. Belna called me a princess, and I am. It was only after she took me seriously that I felt more here. I can't live a dream as I go through their lives. When my [Lady] gave me that joke of a title, I still felt more here than before. I hoped it was enough, but the doubling of my recall has crushed me. I can't have my life be a dream anymore, but I can't spurn you and grandmother kindness either. I will become a full attendant, not junior when I leave for school, and I will succeed there as well so that I never besmirch the Maxwell name. I must embody this fully, not to make my life a nightmare but to have hard work and tough life to ground me in the here.”

  My mother is looking at me, she has tears in her eyes. She understands what I am asking of her and it is either treat me as a servant or lose me again.

  “You're only ten.”

  “And forty-four, forty-seven, and seven.”

  “When you finish your memories, will you permit yourself to be happy again.” I'm making another parent sad again.

  “I'll still be happy even if I face adversity, you are all still very kind.”

  We sit in silence for a bit. A new notification pops up.

  You are being offered terms of employment by one [Lady] Bianca Maxwell

  Full time duties as a [Junior Attendant] to be trained by the [Head Attendant] Marie to assume full responsibility as an [Attendant] to include such duties as meal preparation, cleaning, dressing, maintaining of the grounds and bathing of the [Lady].

  You will be excused during the afternoon to attend to your personal affairs, to return to attending to the [Lady] for her evening meal.

  Compensation is to include room and board, two dress uniforms until you are fully grown at which point four uniforms will be provided and 50 copper every sixth day to be increased to one silver should you complete the Head Attendant Marie training.

  Length of employment will be until you are accepted into the National Mage College.

  Do you accept.

  “My apologies mother, it seems I am being provided an opportunity. It will be hard work and there doesn't appear to be rest days”

  “No, attendants must always be ready to serve their [Lady].”

  She says it with a small voice, I nod and press accept.

  Your title Junior Attendant has changed.

  Junior Attendant - you've gained full time employment as an Attendant in training to one Lady Bianca Maxwell, to train and serve under Head Attendant Marie. One additional Mental Fortitude and One additional Agility level when leveling up.

  I feel this isn't enough. I open my status screen and I see my current title. I take my two pointer fingers and place one on each word of my title. I pull them apart.

  You are severing your Adventurer title from Voiceless, Adventurer will be lost

  Do you accept?

  This is going to hurt Sara.

  It already does, I turn to my mother, “I'll need to apologize to Guild Master Reginald and Grandmother, please hold me one last time mother.” She does, I accept.

  The soul fire was nothing to this. Worst, I never lose consciousness, I must suffer for given up such a kindness, a soul contract to the adventure guild that they can not sever is strong indeed. My voice has been screamed out, I look to mother and she places a gentle hand on my throat. It heals.

  “Thank you, mother.”

  I then combine the title I deserve, that I earned and will improve upon, and hit accept.

  You have acquired the title [Voiceless Junior Attendant]

  Voiceless Junior Attendant - Gives off an aura of worthlessness, you've gained full time employment as an Attendant in training to one Lady Bianca Maxwell, to train and serve under Head Attendant Marie.

  One additional Mental Fortitude, One additional Agility and Three additional Soul level when leveling up.

  It's now my title, the ring will not respond to me anymore, there is no hiding me. I'm sure someone will come to pick the ring up. I feel more here now.

  “If you have no more need of me, Miss, I must return to my duties.”

  My stomach gurgles to suggest which duties would be having my attention. Miss Cecelia smiles at this.

  “Before you go Sara, you are to continue sparring with me each morning, I will not allow anyone to serve my mother if they can not even defend themselves, much less her.”

  “As you wish, Miss Cecelia.”