My soul burns. Damn it all. I grit my teeth. I mustn't let Leacea know I still live. I'm breathing hard. I pull my hands from my face. They're tiny…a child's hand. My arms are wrong. But I don't understand. I feel a compel start to burn into me. I negate it. My reserves are emptied. I hold my forehead for a moment. What was that?

  I take a moment. I died laughing. My body is small, immature, and female. I see my dresser and my reflection. Sarcea. She is a devourer. But she ate something that was too large. My head hurts again. So does my lower back. I rub the area. It feels wet. I pull my hand out. Blood? I have an open wound on my back. I try to engage my life core…not there. Right, it's not my body. But I need to heal. My body shudders. It feels like it can but something is stopping me.

  I breathe more. Panic is welling into me. But I'm in control…mother made me into this... I hold her head again. That didn't feel like my thought. He saw me before. I saw myself. I shake my head. I'm a tier five? No, I was at seven. I hold my head again…she remade me…Enough.

  I focus on herself…myself. There is a core. I don't understand what it is. Perhaps I will if I see through its magic. I look at the mirror. No mana sight shines through. But I am pushing mana. I didn't feel a tear. Nevermind, I scan the room hoping to notice any difference. I grip my face. I see liquid in my hand…her hand…stop it. Liquid right, two types. One seems just a present sheen over everything while the other is in ever branching little tributaries. Almost like blood vessels…of course it is my…her blood. The liquid in my capillaries begins to merge into the amorphous sheen. Why…why can I not have Elf blood. The thought shakes me…I'm not an Elf…but I'm in an Elf body. I'm a…hybrid…

  I look around the room. A box on the floor next to the dresser radiates coldness. The same that ended me before. I open and find three crystals swirling green black mana. I take them into my hand and pull the mana into me. My pale skin becomes ashen. The body dies. Hybrids are not allowed to live. I close my eyes for my end.

  -----

  The geas lets go of my mind as I stop breathing. I felt a few things let go just now. I was … Arccor. Why? My hand is ashen. I have his memories. His personality was in control until it thought I died…well did die.

  Breakfast is soon…but I can't go out like this. I need to be alive. I squint my eyes. I need to be alive. I feel my thirst grow.

  -----

  I should be dead. I was certain…no I was just the girl while undead. I am the girl. I clutch my head again. This isn't good. I'm a hybrid. The geas begins to flare again.

  Damn it, I was never an Elf.

  The geas shudders. The personality that is convinced it is Arccor is at war with the one realizing she isn't Sarcea. They are the same but the memories overlap. I don't need these damn things. She looks up and sees her Tapestry. He doesn't understand. A part is cut. He lost a bit of himself. Damn it. She aims to remove me. I must find where she is in here. The…re…the mind blanks for a moment.

  -----

  I don't know how but the part that held his mind. His inner monologue. Removing that seemed to have considerably shrunk my Tapestry.

  I'm left with just the words in my memory. I'm bound to my mother…Cea. I have to obey her… She plans to kill me after I give birth to her princesses. To the south of Kargnia is my other half…I need to flee. But I am still bound. Either harming or not feeding me. I don't feel like the salad was important.

  I look back up at my Tapestry. She'll know something is wrong. I cut more. I need to reduce myself to just the bare minimum. Just to her fiction. I need to remember that one conversation. And that I am not an Elf. I look back to my earliest memory. A hug and a name. Now it's just a hug.

  -----

  The aforementioned salad stares at me. I push it around more. Cea eats hers without complaint. I don't feel hungry. Thirsty yes, but not hungry. She leaves me alone after she finishes.

  I waited a bit longer. Not sure what the appropriate amount of time eating should be. I muse while I wait. I was able to remove memories. There are blank spots in my diary. Did I remove the memories myself? Was I ordered to? All I have is the gaps. I chew on that. And the salad. No, fuck. I spit it out. Damn it, did I swallow any…I still don't think it was the salad. But I push off the table and leave.

  -----

  I sit in the library. I picked out a map book. There is Cea'Nila, then Atlas. To the east is Bronfkin, though with rumors of the war it seems it won't exist much longer. The map shows the old border. There is Kargnia. To the south is the plains. It's so far.

  I hear voices calling out names. I'm shaken.

  “Sar?”

  I blink at Rin for a moment. Right, my nickname.

  “Sorry, I was absorbed in these maps.”

  “Do you plan to travel?”

  I smile, “When C…mother releases me perhaps. How about you? Ever felt the desire to explore.”

  Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  She tilts her head at me for a moment. No doubt hearing my slip up.

  She answers, “I think I have to stay near you.”

  I blink at her. My curse…a daily medication. Even on the nights I skipped my salad I always had a drop. A need for a drop. But only one. Ingested. Easy to test. I look at Rin. She grows pale whenever she heals. The thirst is making her undead. She'll die if I stop taking the medicine. I panic. Cea has her own hostage.

  Calm down. Think. She is fine now. If I can just not take the medicine I can break the hold. Would taking it after reassert itself? Nevermind, for now I need to make sure Rin doesn't heal today.

  “Are you ready to head to Lincor's class?”

  Shit, “Actually, could we stay here instead. Where would you like to go? I mean if you were to travel with me, it's not fair for only me to decide the destination.”

  She frowns but looks at the map. Her eyes are drawn to the mountains to the west.

  “They say you can see dragons there.” She points to the mountains.

  “Dragons interest you?”

  She nods, “They say no Elf should approach, your tapestry would rip instantly should you die in their massive aura. I heard it said that not all the mountains are actually mountains though. That it's just a sleeping dragon. Isn't that so cool?”

  I smile, “So immense, but what could sustain such a monster.”

  She shrugs. We pour over the maps.

  -----

  “Sarcea…you haven't eaten anything at all today.”

  I was the only one in the room with her. I look at Cea. She has a look of concern.

  “Sorry, it must have slipped my mind.”

  “Well do eat up, your body needs to be fortified.”

  I look at the salad…I don't think it's the salad. I bite down squinting my eyes. Praying I'm not just tightening my collar.

  “It's not that bad is it?”

  I give her a brave smile, “It's all I've ever known.”

  She blinks at that and then frowns.

  -----

  I sit in my room. Just waiting. I glance at the bottle that holds my medicine. Just ignore it. It has to be that. How long is it until I fail to be fed?

  “Sarcea, take your medicine.” Cea voice echoes in my head.

  I blank for a moment. She knows. Her attempt at a command confirms it. But if she knows then I am damned. I walk to the bottle. I grabbed it. The dropper is over my mouth. I shut my eyes. Damn it. I don't squeeze. I wait for her to tell me to get on with it. It doesn't come. I hold this pose forever and she thinks nothing of it. I slowly put the dropper back. Why did she not notice?

  Your contract with the Elf Sovereign, Empress Cea has come to an end for failing to drink her blood.

  I start to shudder at the words. It's her blood…I look at the medicine jar.

  “Sarcea, only one drop a day. Your thirst will just need to wait till tomorrow.” Cea voice admonishes me.

  My thirst was for her blood. Why? How did she know…I can see through more eyes. In front of me are some documents. They are mundane reports on harvest yields and projected growth. Usage of undead was deemed a failure. The crops failed where they tended. Possible suggestion of an enclosed suit deemed cost prohibitive.

  I shake my head. What am I seeing? I can't change what the other eyes are looking at. Just my own. I go lay in my bed and close my eyes. Paying attention to the other eyes. As the evening wore on more reports were read. Finally the eyes got up from the writing desk and moved to a dresser. Sitting there was Cea. I am seeing through her eyes. Was she seeing through mine? The medicine bottle. She knew I hadn't engaged with it and saw that I had the dropper ready. But I had closed my eyes at the end. So she assumed I had drunk it. Is it only my sight then? Not like she needed to hear what I heard, she heard the whole castle already. I watch as she brushes her hair. She prepares for bed.

  Her eyes close but I can still feel it giving me her vision. Is she still awake then? It's another hour before it's truly gone. I hurry to my desk. I open it and start writing.

  -----

  She is asleep. I can feel her presence. Like all others around me. Is it her soul? Is that what the others are? They all are so much larger than my own. Nevermind I need to do this quickly.

  “Sarmphrphf.”

  I cover Rin's mouth. I gave her a look that hopefully conveyed both seriousness and don't talk. She stops struggling. I handed her what I had written. She looks up at me, frightened. She writes on the parchment.

  Do you truly intend to flee?

  I nod. I looked at her plaintively, hoping she would come with me. I didn't want to abandon her to my thirst.

  I can meet you outside the castle. To the town to the east. But they won't let you leave.

  I simply circle the town to the east. Then I leave her. I can't leave through the front gate. Instead I make my way to the east wall. It's so high. Not as high as the canopy. This is beyond foolish. I throw myself from the walls. Aiming for a tree. I missed it. My body hits the ground hard. My body was torn and bruised. But not broken. My higher stats allow me to survive such wrecklessness. My robe is in tatters though, nevermind. I focus on healing myself. My chest grows colder as does my thirst. My persistent back pain finally eases though.

  I stretch my back and look behind me. My robe is pushed outwards…I pull it up to find a white bushy tail…Why? Not an Elf. Apparently a tailed creature at the least. I move the robe back and try to keep my tail from pushing it too much. If any Elf saw me, it would trigger Cea's geas.

  I head east. I hope.

  -----

  It's been hours. I feel my vision begin to double again. I quickly close my own. Will I only be able to travel when she sleeps? I wait. She gets dressed and goes to breakfast.

  “Sarcea, wake up already.” Cea says annoyed.

  I don't move. I don't respond.

  “Sarcea, that was a command.” Another Cea.

  What follows is a massive explosion of speed. She is in my room. She sees the dresser draws left open, the various items missing. Even the medicine bottle.

  “Sarcea, respond now.”

  Just block her out.

  “Aurora, where are you?”

  My soul trembles at the command. I have to answer. I cover my mouth and am about to say the words. Then the pressure relieves itself. I don't understand.

  What follows is Cea meeting with many other Elves. They aim to hunt me. But I can't move. I can't see. Evening comes and still she is vigilant. She knows I am awake. Just as I knew she was. She won't rest till I am found.

  What can I do? I have to move. I clap my hands. Then listen. It's no good. The sounds coming back are too muffled. I still need to go though. I can't not see my way.

  “This way.”

  A small voice whispered to me. It sounds like my voice. I turn my head towards it.

  “Who?”

  “You forgot who I was…so I can't remember who I am. It's very annoying.” The voice huffs.

  “I don't understand.”

  “Neither do I, but all you know is to go south.” The voice responds.

  “But.”

  “You already know they hunt for her too.”

  I do. It was the second place Cea went. More reason to rejoin her. She needs to be saved.

  “You can't even open your eyes and you think you can save her? You're an idiot.”

  I frown at the voice. Fine, south. Sorry, Rin. I hope whatever thirst you incur I can keep satiating.