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I wake up to half myself panicking. I pull in the memories of the poor goblin. He becomes a part of me.
I was just part of a hunting party with my brothers. Hoping for something fresh to feed the rest. We all got into a fight over who would get to be with the big lady that night. I wasn't going to win but I had made sure to punch the likely winner in the lowers. Then two invaders arrive—
“Looking a wee bit green there, Mourns.”
I look up at the Dwarf. I look at my hand and see a blend of pale and green. It is recent, it won't take much. The skin becomes pale again. I only grow a bit cold from it.
“Anything else?”
Said floats over, “Your ear is a bit wider.” She grabs it and I feel the change. More coldness.
“Didn't know the little one could do that.” Stone says over the fire.
I look at her. I hadn't really thought of it. “She is a part of me, guess she can wield my magic. Want to shoot a ray, Said?”
The fairy does a finger point and a tight beam of water shoots out into the forest. “Pew, pew.”
I laugh at her silly sounds, not sure what she is mimicking. Stone considers, then asks another question. “Is it the same intensity if she's outside your aura?” I give a curious look. “She's but a piece of ya soul, Mourns. Curious if she can brin’ the same amount of power when not drawing from ya.”
I shrug as she flies away and out of my mana aura. I frown as she points at me. I shield myself from the coming torrent. Nothing close to that came. I peer over my left arm wondering if it was a misfire.
“Ah, not much power at all without ya. Still quite versatile though.” He smiles.
Said returns with a scowl, “Not enough for my liking.”
He chuckles at that, “Well it's good to see ya back alive again, Mourns. Can ditch the cart at the next town.”
I shake my head, “Not if you want to make any decent progress. I'm too slow. My legs are getting worse.”
“Even after you healed them?”
I nod, “They just keep atrophying.”
“Mind if I give ya a look over?” I give a nod to his question. He walks over to my side of the fire. His eyes get those connected green triangles again. “The nerves are there. Try to move your legs. Hmmm the signal reaches this spot then stops.” He gestures to where I…the dryad had snapped my spine. The eyes scan other parts. “The muscles definitely witherin’ on your legs a great deal. So your heart.”
I squeeze my eyes at his diagnosis, “We knew the heart would go. I think I have a mental block on my legs because half my soul is convinced I snapped that part of me. Sorry, the dryad memories remember doing it.”
He grunts at that, “Soul images are tricky, but ya seemed more fluid than most. Just surprised this be trippin’ ya up.”
“The idiot should just lance the memory like a boil.” Said says, while doing rings around the fire.
That's not a bad idea. I go searching my Tapestry when Stone interrupts me. “Not to ruin the thought, but I suspect ya're only receivin’ so much of your pain signals there, Mourns.”
I huff out, “So it will hurt but it will recede in time?”
The dwarf winces, “Not quickly. At the moment ya only think there is pain when ya move ‘em. Quite certain, with the shape they’ in, that ya should be in agony even now.”
I look at the sky. “If I don't do it, it will just be worse when I do. Or I'll never fix it at all.”
“Aye, those are both true.” Stone says a bit sagely while rubbing his chin.
I close my eyes and sever the memory. I start to scream. Stop it. I clamp down my mouth and grit my teeth. My legs are on fire. A part of me wants to snap my spine to make it stop. Stone looks at me with pity. I just whimper as I lay there.
“‘Rora, what's happening?” Rin is next to me.
“Don't…Don't use your sight…I'm not sure…how long…this will go on…for.” It was a struggle but Rin didn't grow her thirst.
“What happened?” Glindinal demands Stone explain.
“The girlie removed her mental block on her lower nerves. She feelin’ all the punishment she's been puttin’ ‘em through.” Stone says.
Glindinal rushes over and pushes life mana into me. It does nothing. I just continue curling up into a ball.
“Why doesn't this work? Aurora!” Glindinal says while shaking me. It doesn't improve the pain.
“No life magic restoratives work on her.” Said says while floating near us.
She hugs me, to provide comfort. To wish the pain away. It doesn't.
-----
The cart trundles on. I writhe at every bump. Not so bad when it's moving steady. Just a searing burning pain in my legs. At least I'm no longer in the box. I stare up at the sky. It doesn't make sense. Why does it still hurt so much? Any thought toward trying to heal more is squashed by the fear of being unable to satisfy the thirst it would create.
Glindinal climbs into the cart.
“Oy, this ain't a carriage for Elves I’m pullin’.” Stone grouses.
“Oh you're fine. Give a moment with our screamer.” She shouts back.
“Sorry.” I wince.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“Think nothing of it.” She says. I raise an eyebrow to her continued use of [Common]. “Can't get better at it unless I use it. Are you ready for more exercises?” She says in a stilted fashion.
She has a bit of cloth in her hand. I squeeze my eye close for a moment before reaching for it. It goes into my mouth as she begins moving my legs. It's excruciating but everytime we do this the pain is a little less. First the right leg, then the left. When she is done torturing me, I spit out the rag.
“Is it improving at all?” She asks.
I nod. “Slowly.” I hesitated but asked a question that gnawed at me. “Why did you leave the castle?”
She looks surprised at me, then confused. “You were there when I was banished, Aurora.” My blank face only gets her demanding an explanation. “Do you not remember?”
I shake my head, “My memories are not complete. We think mother commanded me to forget things that were inconvenient."
She looks rather annoyed but continues in [Quintarl?ne], “So I was trying to figure out what your curse was. The moment I suggested it was the [Empress] who cursed you. You started clutching your head. Then you started laughing. Horns grew from your head and you started murmuring ‘not here’. Then the [Empress] showed up and told me that my services were no longer needed. I was rather hustled out of the castle at that point. After that I figured the best idea would be to just travel. The further away the better.”
I just sat there stunned. The pain dulls. I hadn't thought of it as a curse for so many days now. I look back at my tail. The only real clue to why I'm like this. My stats were abysmal when it was gone. My one core had returned but none of the others. What would my stats be like if the others were with me? I feel a sharp pain in my leg.
“Fark, I thought we were done with the torture.”
A rather annoyed Glindinal is looking at me. “You stopped paying attention and just had a vacant look on your face. I swear you're the rudest girl I know.”
“Sorry, I—”
“Oh stick up for yourself for once, you're not a damn princess. Stop acting like one.” She says in a huff.
I hear Stone laughing, it's too much I shout at Glindinal, “I don't know how to act. I don't know…”
“Going to cry now, I can see Randinrin running here now if you want that sort of comfort. I swear, you go from mopey to psychotic at the flip of a coin.”
I glare at my accuser. She returns it. “Then why are you still here? You crossed the border and your adventurer card is set. All you do is make me question my feelings and it's all very confusing and I don't understand.”
“You don't understand. Are you serious? Fine, you want to know? I'm trying to seduce you so that I can get a baby out of you. Then I can go apologize to the [Empress] and hope she doesn't rip my name to pieces. Then you go cripple yourself and now uncrippled yourself. I'm starting to think you're doing this for attention.”
The cart stops. I see Stone go to intercept Rin. My emotions drain out of me as I watch him go. I look to the one who stepped on my feelings. My babies. The princesses. All of this for them.
“Are you done? Do you know why I have a destination? It's to find out who I am. What I am. To find answers. My mother wants me to birth three princesses. You would condemn three to save yourself.”
She glares at me, willing herself past the power in the words, “They are already condemned. Is it wrong to want to save myself from such a fate?”
“At the cost of others.”
She laughs at me, my anger grows. “So says the devourer, don't act like your Tapestry hasn't been bulging outwards. Is that how the three princesses ended up in you? I don't see them.”
She is looking up at my Tapestry. I look as well. They aren't there and yet that one conversation claimed they were.
“I don't know why she thinks they are there…”
“And the coin flips again, you're impossible.” With that parting shot she jumps out of the cart and heads further up the path. I watch her go.
-----
The air at our camp was stifling. Glindinal was off to the side while Rin fussed between the fire and me. I was still in the cart. There were no more exercises after our argument. Said been hanging around me, morose as well.
I'll have to do it myself. I flex my leg. The pain shoots through me again. But I go through the motions. The sooner I am able. The sooner I can leave. The pain lessens again. It's not fast enough. It was easier being undead. It wouldn't take much. Just flood my body with undeath. I think maybe—
“Rora?”
I look up at the priestess. I can feel her concern again. “Hey Rin.”
She quirks her head, trying to see me better, “Are you alright, it's been a bit stressful today.”
A bit…I literally just got told the only interest someone had in me was to seek a pardon from my mother. I say none of this. I just give a long stare at Rin.
It’s Said who breaks the silence, “Idiot was about to force her body to be undead again.” It was slowly, morosely.
Rin gives me an annoyed look as I give an annoyed look at Said. “Is this true, were you planning on dying? It was harrowing the first time. I couldn't heal you and you were broken. Now you're finally on the mend and you want to go back.”
“Sorry.”
“Arrrgh you apologise but you're still thinking of doing it. Said, she is still thinking about it, isn't she?”
“She is still an idiot.”
I glare at my traitor. She just floats up and sticks her tongue at me. Rin stomps away.
“Not very fair to tell on me.” I seethe at my fairy.
“Eh, you were being impatient. If you want to stop caring just swap your eyes with the Dryads.”
I'm shocked by her suggestion. I fought my way back to being in control. I could just be a floating set of eyes. In this sea that is my soul. I can feel them all moving in me. The pair Said spoke of hovers near my eyes. As if they heard her words.
Something deep within me burns at her eagerness. To regain control. Know your place. My soul burns at the declaration. I am me, your memories are but a distraction weed. You sought to devour me but you were devoured instead. That's it, isn't it? Control. So many are seeking to control me. Mother. Glindinal. This dryad. Even Rin wishes to decide how I should be.
I stand up, my legs burn. I walk to the Glindinal chest and open it. My medicine bottle. My only possession. I grab it and hop off the cart. My legs scream at me but I don't care. I start walking towards my other half.
“Mourns!”
Now Stone wishes to stop me. He rushes in front of me. It's easy to do. The pain in my legs prevents me from moving fast after all. I glare at the Dwarf who bars my way.
“Girlie, you're makin’ a mistake.” He says with tired eyes.
“My mistake was fleeing the castle.”
He winces at that, “You're going the wrong way for that then, thought you were on a quest to end the bitch of the north.”
“Why does that require you?”
He gives me a patient look, “Well considerin’ everytime ya go off alone ya end up losing a piece of yourself, I say ya could do with a bit of lookin’ after.” He pauses for a moment, “Mourns, ya're doing things without thinkin’. To be expected for bein’ so young an’ all.”
I glare at the Dwarf. More control. He looks to my right stump. I look at it too. The bird stole from me and now Stone uses it as proof that I can't handle myself. I feel my thirst kindle at an idea. I pull my shoulder out of my robe.
“What are ya doin’—”
The bone thrusts out of the shoulder. Not Elven. The spiders. My thirst grows, the blood mana makes my forearm bone. There is flesh that wraps around the top connecting it to my body, but I don't cover the rest in muscle. When I finish making the bone, I seize it with undeath mana. I control it. It is my arm after all. Another bone forms and more undeath flows. The skeletal arm held together by necromancy. I keep at till my claws on my finger tips arch out. My greatest issue has been that if I use my blood mana I am just flooded with unusable undeath. I'll just use my arm as a shunt for my undeath. But I also need to make more undeath. My left ear reforms as a cat ear. It will burn blood mana to make my undeath for my arm. I must look quite absurd, one ear cat the other Elven. I put my arm back through the robe.
“Mourns…”
I look at Stone, “So many are trying to control me. To force me to be a certain way. Is this where you tell me how I should be?”
“I ain't here to control ya. Just to see ya through your quest. So then, what do ya want to be?”
I blank at the question. I look at my right hand. It is silver and deadly. My left is soft and Elven. Am I the Elf or the undead. I murmur, “I don't know. The dryad called me an echo. What if there are no answers in Kargnia? What if I am worse than my mother?”
My legs give out. My rage was no longer powering through my pain. Glindinal said I was a coin flip. I can't deny it. Stone is next to me, looking at my fingers.
“Is that mithril?”
I laugh at that, of all the stupid things. One can't help but laugh. My thirst starts to grow.

