Ben caught up to me in the middle of the hallway on my way back to my room. He grabbed at my hand, but I was too fast and slipped past. I turned to face him, holding the plate of cookies up to my right. “Yes, Brother?”

  He stared down at his empty palm, then shook his head in frustration. “Father ate the cookies. I told him you made them, and he said they were good.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad he enjoyed them.” My voice held steady as I stepped deftly around him.

  “Jo! Why do you have to always shut me out whenever you’re upset?” Ben shouted at my back.

  I stopped, turning halfway, the hem of my long dress swishing against the stone. “I wasn’t…”

  “You were upset. I could tell from your eyes. You always close yourself off behind that smile of yours. You never cry. Not in front of me.” He sniffled, angrily wiping at his eyes with his sleeve.

  “I am…” I was about to retreat to my usual defense, but Ben didn’t let me.

  “No! I don’t care if you’re strange. You’re my sister. I wish you’d open up to me a little bit. Even when we play, you have a wall around you.” He spat out the words bitterly.

  “I don't know how...” I knew what he said was true. I was being unfair, and I couldn’t even blame [Virtuous].

  Ben ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know, either. I just… get jealous when I see you and Lady Meridol together.” He shook his head again. “Sorry about revealing your age to those boys. You just seemed so close to them.”

  I stepped back and placed the plate of cookies into his hand, pulling him along beside me.

  “Neither of them is my knight. And I don’t dance with them,” I reminded him gently. “I made those cookies for you, Ben. I didn't even know those boys were there. Does that help?”

  “A little…” He squeezed my hand. “I don’t care what you are, you know?”

  “I know that now. You won’t ever abandon me?”

  Ben stiffened as if the question was an affront to him. “Never!”

  “I will hold you to that then.”

  —

  Mama and I sat beside each other with teacups and an empty plate of cookies on the table before us. The girls had already devoured their share. Mama gave me a knowing look as she nibbled on the last remaining cookie with her tea, her only comment being they were “better than the ones the chef usually made.”

  She had Volume Two of A Dissertation on Spell Hybridization open in her hand. I had already read the book, and even used some of the techniques described there in my experiments combining the [Shadow Spread] and [Shadow Fingers] spells to learn [Shadow Fist].

  The book resting open in my own hands was less theoretical; it was an atlas.

  The large pages displayed a detailed breakdown of all the regions of Avatince, listing population, industry, and religion. I had already learned that Avatince was divided into two major factions: the East and the West, but this gave me perspective. Now, I had a top-down view of how the kingdom and its resources were positioned.

  The East was the breadbasket of the kingdom. It was mainly farmland and the majority of the land of Avatince. It stretched out to meet the frozen tundra to the northeast and hugged the mountain ranges along the eastern border. To the southeast lay the kingdom of Orlina, where that foreign lord was from, and various other minor kingdoms.

  The Western Faction controlled the coastal provinces that rimmed the Corinian Ocean, forming a jagged crescent from the frozen sea above to the equatorial desert in the south.

  The capital, Naserck, sat as a fulcrum between the two factions. It was geographically closer to the western coast, simply because the Eastern Faction was so massive.

  Given its agricultural base, the East was naturally the more conservative faction. Currently, it was led by the Consort’s line, House Contellas. The smaller Western Faction was considered more progressive, with most of their industries focused on maritime trade. The Queen’s line, House Warwick, currently held the reins of the West; apparently, they held most of the ministry posts as well.

  I traced my fingers over the outline of House Bloomcrest’s territory. We were part of the eastern faction, but stuck out much further west than the other provinces. The western part of our land stabbed like a knife between two coastal provinces.

  “Is something the matter?” Mama asked as she poured some tea for me and then herself.

  “The shape of our territory. It looked strange.” I pointed at the salient jutting westward. “Is this new?”

  “Oh, yes. Your house absorbed another failed house during the last civil war. It was how Priscilla came to marry Leopold.” Mama added a few drops of milk into my tea.

  “My mother was a prisoner?”

  Mama was quick to shake her head. “No, child, quite the opposite. Leopold did it to protect her. Unlike most noble marriages, theirs was one of love.”

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  “Oh…” I lowered my head. My father’s cracked voice echoed in my mind. “Just… stay with me.”

  Mama, noticing my face, hurried to change the topic. “Why the interest in geography?”

  “I’m just noting the realities of our situation.” My finger stabbed at the salient on the map. “We are in the middle of Avatince, right next to the capital. And we are the westernmost point—the tip of the spear.”

  “If the Eastern Faction wishes to make a move, the most obvious choice would be to attack from here and seize these two port cities.” I traced routes from our territory to the two port cities to the north and south. “This would effectively cut the West in two.”

  “Jo, what are you plotting?!” Mama hissed, clutching her teacup so tight her knuckles turned white.

  Not looking up, I held my chin. In my mind’s eyes, formations of soldiers appeared on the map, overlaid upon the territories. They were advancing, pincering, encircling, positioning for war.

  “That’s the most obvious choice, so it’d also make the best feint. All it takes to draw everyone’s attention is to stir the hornet’s nest at the spot where they’re most vulnerable. Then you strike elsewhere.”

  An intricately orchestrated play to draw the eyes, and then a stab to the back. Not a plan [Virtuous] would be happy with, but The Bastard would approve.

  “There has been an increase in grain shipment to the north and south. I saw the ledgers. And this increase in recruitment... I'm sure it's a reaction to the kidnapping attempt.”

  An attempt that I was sure the Consort was behind. That was the stick to stir the nest. Which means…

  I looked up. “It’s already starting.”

  “How did you get a hold of the ledgers?” Mama caught herself, her eyes widening. “Those spells of yours…”

  I nodded at her before turning my attention back to the map. Mama didn't say anything more, and instead took a long sip of her tea.

  Meanwhile, my [Shadow Fingers] were actively scouring the old, leather-bound books in the Forbidden Section of the Library. Shadowy appendages pulled down volumes, scanning the text for anything related to Demons and Blood Magic.

  I need to head that off as well.

  —

  The moon was pale and full in the black sky as I trudged over the grassy field. The castle was still burning behind me, flames belching out plumes of thick smoke. Men hung off the parapets holding broken, tattered banners.

  I swayed, my metal boots squelching with every step. The ground was drenched with blood, either my own, or that of my men, I knew not. They had fallen in the first wave, and I left them behind. My horse was cut down beneath me, but I kept charging ahead, the voice pushing me forward. I spent the last of my Spirit Points on [Heaven’s Lance] to breach the gates, and then the slaughter began. When I departed, none were left alive.

  I had taken the fort, and the voice went silent.

  Pain radiated from the countless arrow shafts that protruded from the wreckage of my once burnished plate armor. The twisted metal groaned with each tortured step. I was bleeding out, and I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

  This lifetime was nearing the end.

  My fingers brushed over the sea of tall grass that I was wading through. The ghostly light of the moon drew me forward, calling me away from the burning castle, and the field of the dead.

  My eyes snapped open to my silk sheets. Mama was sleeping peacefully beside me.

  A dream? No, a memory of the end of one lifetime in the one hundreds… or was it the two hundreds?

  I tugged at my nightshirt, pulling the sweat-soaked fabric from my body. Then I turned to study Mama’s face. I didn’t ask her to stay tonight, but she knew what I needed and so she stayed.

  This life is more than I could ask for.

  Pale moonlight slanted through the windows, drawing my attention. It called to me like that night amongst the sea of grass.

  I gingerly got out of bed and made my way out onto the balcony. The full moon shone bright from a clear, cloudless sky.

  How many times had I prayed under a moon like this?

  Early on, I had been naive enough to pray for a way home, to see my mom, dad, and Ally again. I was on my knees out in the wheat field, with my hands clasped tightly together, praying under the light which felt so mystical to me back then.

  Later, I’d pray for an end to the battles and death. I’d pray for escape, for the voice to leave me alone, and eventually, for an end.

  I gripped the stone railing and the cold seeped up through my palm. A breeze lifted my hair, chilling the drenched fabric of my shirt to ice.

  That night as I stumbled through the grass, slowly dying, I sank to the soggy ground.

  Maman, Papa, your little marmotte can’t come home anymore…

  Rivers of blood pooled around my hands.

  “Light of the moon, bear witness,” I wheezed, raising a bloody fist at the white orb. “In one lifetime, I will be free… from those controlling me from within and without. Just once, my will shall be my own!”

  My consciousness yielded to the pale darkness.

  “Jo, what are you doing out here?” Mama’s gentle voice wrapped around me from behind. “Come back inside. You’ll catch a cold if you stay out too long.”

  I stared up at the glowing moon, hanging high above. It looked so beautiful and perfect, and yet, I knew its surface was marred by pits and craters.

  Already in this lifetime, the noose of politics and schemes was tightening around me. I was bound by the same curses and constraints as before, and now even Demons had carved their will into me.

  I turned, and I was once more Joan of that night, my body racked by pain, anguish and outrage.

  I want one life of my own.

  My knees touched down upon the solid granite floor.

  “Jo!” Mama reached for me, but I shook my head.

  “I’m tired, Mama. I’ve lived…” Unseen hands grabbed at my words. My throat constricted, but I forced the words out through gritted teeth. “Too many lives. And this will be my last.”

  My body shuddered against the strain, but here under the moonlight, I was one with each of my selves, praying, pleading, declaring…

  “I have been chained to the will of the divine and profane, of magic and of might.”

  I remembered the voice calling on me to charge into the fort, of me giving my oath to the Dauphin amidst the flowers, of the sword that I was, and the words that were engraved into my mind.

  Lifetime after lifetime, I’d been fighting and dying for causes that weren't mine…

  “I wish to make a pledge of my own. That in this lifetime I will be free. I will live for you and all those I love. To protect, cherish, and find happiness with all of you. Everything else be damned. This I promise by the only thing I have: my heart.”

  Mama stepped up to me, pulling me up into her arms. “And that is all that’s needed, my daughter.”