Inside the envelope, I found a thin seal with a wooden back and a front formed from a flattened black jade flower. I turned the seal in the light, and it sparkled as though it were embedded with stars.
“Servant!”
“Yes, Dr Wu?”
“Get the finest refreshments for our honored client.”
“Of course, Dr Wu.”
When I looked away from the seal, the servant was wheeling in a long table arranged with cakes, meats, cold dishes, hot dishes, tea, wine, brandy, and a small tub that contained soapy water.
“Would the honored client like a foot wash?” asked the servant.
“He’s quite talented,” said Dr Wu. “His fingers are very strong.”
“I’m alright, thank you. If you could take a look at my friend?”
“Of course!” said Dr Wu. “Let us inspect the patient. Bring them over to this table so we have plenty of light.”
I followed her and placed Cabbagy on a high, padded table.
“Is your friend a boy or a girl?” Dr Wu asked. “It’s been a while since I treated a cabbage, and I want to make sure I’m not misjudging things.”
It was a relief to hear she’d treated cabbages before, even if it wasn’t recent.
“He’s a man,” I said. “Widowed. I’m not sure of his age, but I would say north of fifty.”
“Hey!” Cabbagy said. “I’m only four months old, you prick!”
I frowned.
“Sorry,” I said.
“What are you sorry about?” Dr Wu asked with a pleasant smile.
“Getting his age wrong,” I said. “He’s only four months old.”
“Of course,” Dr Wu said as she jotted something down in a pad of paper.
I was a little concerned her hearing was going, but she was supposed to be quite reputable.
“So, why don’t you tell me about your friend’s problems?”
“I’ll let Cabbagy speak for himself,” I said with a gesture for him to take the floor.
“Where do I begin, doc? I have a crippling addiction to alcohol and women, which led to my wife leaving me, and trust me, that kind of emotional loss doesn’t make an addiction any less crippling. What should have been a wake-up call turned into rock bottom, until I met this idiot here on the dirt in some nowhere village. He has potential, but he barely listens to anybody.”
Dr Wu sat there ready to write, but made no notes. I didn’t blame her.
“Cabbagy,” I said with a groan. “Please tell her your actual problems.”
“Right, whatever, kid. Cough, Wheeze. Picking on a dying friend, you should be ashamed! I guess it’s just old age. Not enough water. Too much sun. Getting thrown around by ungrateful pricks. All of that has led to my current, decomposing state.”
Dr Wu still hadn’t written anything down. Now I was really worried about her hearing.
“Did you get all of that?” I asked.
She looked at me with sympathy.
“I’m terribly sorry,” she said. “I didn’t hear a word.”
“What?” I asked with a frown. “What do you mean?”
“I’m afraid I don’t speak cabbage; you’ll need to translate for me.”
I slapped my forehead.
“Of course!” I said. “I’m sorry, I’ve been so worried I haven’t been thinking clearly.”
“That’s entirely understandable.”
“I think my friend is just getting old. I’ve carried him around for about a week and with the sun and the bloodshed and getting dropped — not thrown, in case you’re wondering, only dropped by accident occasionally — and I think it’s taking a toll.”
She nodded.
“That’s only natural.”
“I’m just not ready to let go, and there has to be something you can do?”
She nodded.
“Of course, I’ll do my best.”
###
Dr Wu looked at the decomposing cabbage with a professional smile. The man beside her was as insane as a fish shopping for shoes, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t sell him the best pair that money could buy.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
After all, she became a doctor to help people.
With a pair of gloves, she picked up the cabbage and turned it this way and that in the light. It seemed that gummed-up blood and luck were keeping it together. Really, the young man should have taken the cabbage to a florist. What was a doctor supposed to do with a vegetable?
Still, she had some ideas.
“I’m going to need to send for some medicine,” she said. “But I think I can take care of your friend. If you return at the end of the day, I will have his treatment ready.”
The young man bowed so profusely that it almost broke her heart. She couldn’t imagine what had happened to his head to make him act like this, and that was saying something. For the Stone Forest Merchant House to be bankrolling him meant he had some serious connections. He’d also deftly avoided giving his name.
What an enigma.
He took a slice of cake with him as she walked him to the door.
“Thank you, again, Dr Wu,” he said.
“I’m only happy I can help.”
He smiled.
“You know, your nose really isn’t that bad. I was told not to stare or mention it, but it’s very unique and you should be proud.”
Dr Wu stiffened. Ever since she was cursed by a mountain witch, her nose had grown every year. It was a physical reminder of a shameful moment, and an even greater shame that she — a prestigious doctor — couldn’t do a single thing to treat herself. Heat throbbed in her temple as the curse sputtered in her veins. The memory of that mountain trail and her terrible decision resurfaced…
She suppressed the memories. It wouldn’t do to lose control in front of such a prestigious client. No lingering on the past, she must focus on —
“Boop,” said the young man as he poked her nose.
She blinked.
“What did you just do?” she yelled as heat rushed through her veins.
“I’m so sorry!” he said as he fell to his knees and placed his forehead to the ground. “I don’t know what came over me! I just coudln’t stop staring, and then my hand was moving before I could even — please, if there’s any way I can make this up to you, don’t hesitate to ask!”
Think of the money, Dr Wu told herself, think of the riches you can milk from this opportunity.
Eventually, the heat subsided.
“It’s fine,” she said.
It took a lot more than those two words to convince the client to leave, but eventually he did. Her nose still tingled from his touch, and she rubbed at it distractedly as she jotted out some ideas for a treatment plan. It reminded her too much of when the witch first cast that spell on her, and so she threw herself into work.
Soon enough, the tingling subsided. After the time it took for several incense sticks to burn down, Dr Wu summoned her faithful servant.
“Yes, Dr Wu?”
“Go to the alchemy warehouse, one of the good ones, and follow up on this list of ingredients. Buy in bulk.”
“This is for the treatment of the… patient?”
“Of course it is,” she said with shining eyes. “If it was anything else, that would be the height of dishonesty.”
They shared a look.
“If I might be so bold,” the servant suggested. “Perhaps the patient would need a spa treatment afterward? Properly supervised, of course.”
Dr Wu snapped her fingers with excitement.
“An excellent idea! Yes, yes, go ahead and book that for the client, his… friend, myself, and why don’t you come along? A month should be sufficient for us to destress.”
“Wonderful, Dr Wu. I shall see that it is done.”
He made for the door, but Dr Wu stopped him before he could leave.
“Wait, there is one more thing you should get…” she said. “Actually, this is the most important thing, and I expect you to get it right.”
As always, her servant listened diligently to her instructions.
###
I walked through the bustling streets of the Merchant District with a skip in my step, a song in my heart, and Cabbagy dangling in a sack over my shoulder. Flies kept following us, and my finger felt like I’d poked a hot kettle, but I refused to let that get me down.
I even started whistling.
“Cough, great tune, kid!” Cabbagy said from his sack.”What’s your plan till later?”
“Well, I figured I’d head back to the inn. I’m sure Chen Ai is dying to open up those gifts, and I’d be lying if I wasn’t a bit curious myself.”
“Sounds good,” Cabbagy said.
“You know, I obviously didn’t want the doctor to inspect me, but my finger’s been hurting since I touched her nose.”
“You touched her nose?” Cabbagy shouted. “That’s hilarious!”
I blushed.
“I didn’t mean to…” I muttered.
“That’s good,” Cabbagy said. “You should learn to trust your instincts more. For as much as a cabbage exceeds by remaining rooted, eventually there comes a time when they must let life carry them abroad.”
I wasn’t sure that situation applied to most cabbages, but I kept my doubts to myself.
“Thanks for your wisdom, master,” I said drily.
“Of course, my foolish disciple. Though that reminds me, speaking of hypotheticals, what would you do if you confronted a mountain witch?”
“Hmm,” I said with a frown. “I don’t know anything about witches. I suppose… try to be her friend?”
“Oh, wrong answer, kid. You should kill her, eat her flesh, and then salt and burn her bones.”
“So I eat the meat raw and cook the bones? That’s stupid.”
“I didn’t say you had to eat her raw, kid, and you do that to the bones to dispose of any lingering curses.”
I sighed. Sometimes he reminded me too much of the superstitious people from my farming village. They always spoke about the prairie witches and how they would turn people into pigs and sell them at the market.
Though, with everything I’d seen so far on my brief journey in my fourth life, perhaps I shouldn’t be so dismissive…
Memories came and went, and I returned to my conversation.
“You’re missing the point,” I told Cabbagy. “The reason I like planning ahead is to give me more options, not fewer. Yet, lately, every time we have a hypothetical, you just suggest I eat my problems!”
“Whatever, kid. I’m too sick to think that much. Cough cough. Wheeze.”
I shook my head. He was using his condition as an excuse to be lazy, but I couldn’t really fault him. Though my new body was pretty good at repairing itself, I had plenty of memories of being sick. There were even a few days I’d lain in an alley with a cold that almost drowned my lungs. A true miracle I survived that. Of course, I was taken to the facility a week later.
Can’t win them all… but today was a win! It felt good to be on top of the world.
I couldn’t stop grinning as I cut through an alley on my way back to the Vermillion Ibex. Hopefully, Chen Ai and my disciple — I really needed to figure out a way to address him since he didn’t go by Flawless Blade anymore — would be well rested enough to open the gifts with me.
I smiled to myself as I realized how excited I actually was to open those gifts. Even though they were for me, I was hoping that we could all benefit.
Light played off an oily puddle in the alley, and the rainbow effect was quite beautiful. I stopped to appreciate the sight.
Moments like this it was almost enough to make me forget the whole demonic cultivation part of my origin story.
Almost.
But still, can’t I appreciate the small moments in a day like any other… hmm…
“Do you think I can be a normal person?” I asked Cabbagy.
“Oh, no, not this again.”
“Oh, shut up,” I said as he soured my mood. “Don’t rain on my parade.”
“You need to be realistic, kid…”
“That’s enough,” I said more firmly.
“No, kid, you have to accept who you are and, more importantly, what you are.”
“Stop!” I shouted, my mood completely ruined. “No more, or the doctor won’t even have a chance to treat you!”
“That’s funny,” said a voice that I couldn’t quite place. “I was about to say the same thing to you!”
An antagonistic shadow fell across my face, and I glanced up with a frown. Above me, on the roof of the building framing the alley, stood a man in the red and gold robe of a sect I didn’t recognize.
“I bet you didn’t expect to see me again,” he asked with a sneer.
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