They all looked at Rey expectantly, and truth be told, he had expected more of a dissent from everyone, especially Tia. Maybe he did have some leadership skills after all, or maybe his lovely cellmates, like most people, didn't want to die and turn into demons.

  No matter how bad it sounded, it wasn't actually all that bad unless you were around humans who were going to be all judgy about it. But hey, they're new to Hell, give them time, Rey, they'll come around.

  However, he couldn't risk Kassandra becoming a demon, thanks to the universe's course-correcting ways. Not only would she lose her Moonlight Talent skills, but he was sure the future would somehow figure out how to kill her in such a manner that she wouldn't come back. Once a demon kicked the bucket, they unsubscribed from existence permanently.

  "Okay, my unruly bunch," Rey said. "Here's the survival guide. First and foremost, we need to clean the shit out of this place. What would your mother think if she saw you living like this? I know what my grandmother would say."

  He coughed and made an immaculate impression of her, though the others might say he was talking in a squeaky voice, but they didn't know what she sounded like. "Reyan, I taught you better than that. You need to clean your room, or I'll wipe the floor with your butt."

  Some snorted while most gave him the same look they must've reserved for idiots, but he didn't mind, for Kassandra was chuckling.

  "Wait, that's your full name," Kassandra said. "Reyan?"

  "Yes. Why? Is that funny?"

  She shook her head. "Not at all."

  "Okay, getting back to the topic at hand. The reason I asked you to bring those filthy mutts in here is that we're going to use their fur to wipe the floor clean and keep it clean. You don't want to be shitting your intestines out of your ass, do you?"

  He had asked that as a genuine question, but no one answered. Only when he raised an eyebrow did they shake their heads.

  "Good." He pointed up to the good doctor. "Our Meat Mechanic is also the Lord of the Mop. Doctor, you're to make this castle as clean as an operating table."

  "But I will need a cleaning detergent or alcohol or something,"

  "Anyone here pick an acid Element?" Rey asked, though he knew no one had. He feigned a sigh of disappointment. "No worries. Use the Human Torch. But Ajay, if you burn the castle down, you'd better self-immolate so we can be nice and cozy by your bonfire."

  Ajay swallowed. "Okay."

  "Once we're good and clean, I need someone to take over cooking duties. I need someone who can butcher and skin the meat that we kill. We also need to preserve all parts of the demon—the fur, the skin, and, of course, the meat and even the bones. We'll sharpen them into spikes and lay a perimeter around the castle. They won't stop our dear friend, Unokir, but it will deter the other mindless variety of demons from just walking right up to our door and windows."

  "I can handle that," Jerry said. "I was a regular hunter back on Earth. The boys and I hunted and skinned all sorts of animals, from rabbits to bears and elk."

  Why does that not surprise me?

  "Great," Rey exclaimed with fervor. "We now have our camp cook. Remember what I said, especially about the skins. We're going to need those to fashion ourselves some good old medieval-style water bottles because plastic is bad for Hell's environment if you don't count the sulfur in the air."

  "I can help with that," Maria said. "I was pretty good with a needle."

  That was another surprise to him because, truth be told, he didn't know anything about her, save that she was a Karen. She had died too early in the last campaign for him to get to know her. Now, he wondered when she would die, but the way things were going, she wouldn't last when Unokir came. It would be up to him to whip them into shape.

  Rey would have to swing that mammoth-sized wrench so hard that future's nutsack flew off into the stratosphere to make sure everyone reached the Kingdom of Night.

  Rey didn't even want to think about that place. Even when he reached the higher Tiers, that place gave him the shivers. That place was a PTSD-inducing game of Russian Roulette where all the chambers were loaded. Shoving those memories far up his asshole, he continued.

  "That is great," Rey cried. "Only problem is you'll have to make your needles…with bones, and we don't have any threads, so… you'll have to use intestines most likely."

  Now, he got the reaction he was expecting from Maria—a mix of shock and disgust.

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  "That's disgusting," Maria cried. "You expect us to drink out of that."

  "If you want to survive out there. Fun fact, Hell is short on freshwater sources. It's best you get to work unless you want to dig a well wherever we stop. We'll need ten water skins immediately."

  Rey didn't wait for any more protests from her or anyone and barreled on. "Next up is this pretty little door." He walked to the main door and patted it. "This little beauty is our only protection from the outside world, so it remains shut at all times. Let me repeat myself a little slowly for you all. It. Remains. Shut. To make sure that happens, I am appointing two people on guard duty." He flourished a hand towards where Ajay and Sergei were standing. "Our friends Ajay and Sergei will be our brave doormen. You two are charged with one duty alone. Never leave the post for long, and make sure this door remains SHUT. Each of you will keep the other accountable. You are not allowed to open it without my express permission. Understood?"

  They both glanced at each other and nodded.

  "Good. Let me explain what my express permission means. None of that, Rey permitted me to leave, so open the door. No, I need to expressly say it to you in person. Other than that, this door stays shut. I don't care if it's your mother on the other side. I don't care if I'm unconscious, like the Spanish McHotterson upstairs. Like my asshole to all dicks, this door remains shut. If it's really important, then wake me the fuck up or wait for me to get up. Understood?"

  "We got it," Ajay said.

  "Next up, there is a watchtower far above the roof. I want that manned at all times. From there, we can see incoming threats from miles away. Kassandra and Filomena will man that at all times in shifts."

  Kassandra frowned, and he knew she wasn't happy about it, but this was the best way to keep her out of trouble and away from him most of the time.

  "Kassandra, you've got the bow, and Filomen's got her lightning. It should be good enough to pick off any wayward demons. There is a giant bell there. Ring it once for friendlies, twice for demons you couldn't pick off that have come too close, and go bombastic if it's an entire army of them."

  "What do you want me to do, oh brave and fearless leader?" Tia asked.

  Stay the fuck away from me.

  As much as he wanted to blurt that out, he needed to keep her close in case she decided to do something that would jeopardize everyone. If he knew her type, which wasn't far from a regular demon's, then she would try to bring his leadership into question at every chance she got. He had to keep a close eye on her.

  "You and I are on janitor duty. Oh, come now, princess, don't make that face. Someone's got to keep the place clean. I'm sure you had help back at home, and now you're the help."

  "Fuck that. I'm not cleaning toilets."

  Rey shrugged. "Tough luck. We don't have any toilets. It's shit in a bucket, old-school style for us. Don't worry, everyone will be cleaning their own buckets, and you will too, unless you want to go do your business in the trees where any demon can catch you with your pants down."

  Her hands were balled into fists, and she was trembling with rage, but he didn't care. The faster she came to realize just what sort of shitty world she was in, the better it would be for everyone. After all, no one was her servant here.

  "With all that settled, now let's come to our main purpose of residing on this beachfront property—to get stronger. You know how I said, we all need to get to Rank 3 at least before Unokir came." Heads nodded. "Yes, well, let's put that up to Rank 4 now. Don't look so surprised. We need to go much higher, and time is running out."

  "It's not even been more than a day since we've been here," Filomena protested.

  "Two days, actually," Rey corrected. "Don't worry, you'll be able to tell the time soon enough. The second and more important task for everyone is…can anyone guess?"

  "Catch Phil," Kassandra answered.

  "That's right. But not only catch but also kill."

  There was more than one shocked face staring at him. It was understandable but still frustrating that they weren't getting with the times. It would end up costing their lives if they didn't realize the difference between a human and a demon.

  "But Phil ran off," Filomena said. "Surely, he can't do us any harm now."

  "He's gone full demon. There's no redemption for him now," Rey said. "Before anyone says anything, let me tell you that the future changed when he gave Gloria that bloody hickey and ran off, but the end result is still the same. Before, I saw that Phil opened the door and invited Unokir inside in exchange for feeding on us and getting one or two souls. That future changed, albeit only slightly. Now, he finds Unokir and tells him where we are. Hell, he brings him here, and together they lay waste to this castle."

  That quieted everyone.

  "Yes, that was the look I was expecting. You see, fate is always course-correcting, but it seems to be heading toward the same goal. Guess what? Phil, Gloria, and Maria were all supposed to die when those nasty goat doggies attacked." He pointed to the dead demons in the corner. "But only Phil did, but he was always supposed to come back as a demon, and only he. Gloria and Maria would have turned into mindless monstrosities."

  Maria swallowed. "Are you sure you saw me?"

  "I know what I saw."

  She had tears in her eyes. "Latoria…she saved my life. She pushed me out of the way but f-fell…" Her voice faltered.

  Rey had twisted the truth a little bit. Maria, Gloria, and Phil had died in the first Vorclaw attack. The lion demons that had attacked when Zalathar had deposited them here, but they didn't need to know the details. If he told them that, then his story about picking the Seer Element wouldn't sit right with the timeline.

  "So, let's recount," Rey said. "Phil died and turned into a demon, and Gloria is almost dead; guess whose number is next?"

  Maria blanched, and her hands trembled. "So, there's no hope for me?"

  "No, there is. What I do know is that the future can be changed, or you wouldn't be standing here," Rey reassured her. "And I also know that I'm the most selfish person you've ever met. I have to save you all because my own life depends on it. So, just do as I say, and don't use too much of your brains, please."

  "You said only five people survive the Unokir," Tia said. "Who are they?"

  Rey sighed. "No, I will not tell you that. Or maybe I should. Your impending death might make you fight that much harder, or maybe you'll just keel over and die. Hm, what to do…" He tapped a finger on his lips.

  "Don't tell us," Kassandra stated. "It's best if we don't know. Besides, this is Hell. We could die at any moment."

  There was a short scream that echoed from upstairs. All heads turned towards the doctor, who ran off towards the clinic room. Everyone waited with abated breaths. Filomena ran up the stairs and returned to view a couple of minutes later.

  She shook her head. "Gloria's dead."