Chapter 33: Hatred

  When I woke up, I still felt hot. Still sensed the scent of my burning flesh. Still tasted the blood in my mouth.

  My heartbeat quickened.

  But once I recognized the grass I was lying on, my breathing slowly steadied.

  I calmed down.

  I felt safe. Well…safer.

  I rolled to the side, pulled my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them, resting my forehead on top.

  I just wanted silence. Peace.

  But then I remembered Stanford’s journal and only felt worse.

  It mentioned my mother. And I never got to read it. Now, with the loop reset coming, my memory would be wiped. I’d forget all about it.

  Damn it…

  I thought about the connections my mind had been too afraid to make after watching Memory Fragment #4.

  Not only did my mother’s name in the journal basically confirm Standford’s wife was in fact my mother – it also meant I had a half-sister. Somewhere in Solvane. Held hostage by none other than the Primarch himself – the most powerful man in the world.

  Her name is Thea.

  I assume most people would probably be overjoyed to learn they had family out there they’d never known about.

  Me? I just felt rage. More rage.

  My chest felt heavy. Like it might cave in.

  I wanted to scream. I wanted to unleash everything I was feeling before it crushed me from the inside.

  But I couldn’t even do that.

  I felt so damn weak…

  I could sense someone sitting on the grass in front of me, though I didn’t lift my gaze to look.

  “You’re safe here, Mr. Halegrim. Let it all out.”

  It was Balthor.

  His voice was soothing. For a moment, I even felt I might accept his offer and break down crying.

  But in the end, I didn’t. I just remained silent.

  “The trials and ordeals we Champions go through would crush anyone.” Balthor said softly. “There’s no shame in crying it out.”

  I sighed, lifting my head before shifting to lie flat on my back. “What would that even change?”

  “Well, it’s bound to make your soul feel better.” Balthor replied. “Take it from me. Back in my world – long before Erebus attempted to devour it – when I was just a trainee butler, I served under a famous warrior. She was nicknamed Stormborn. And that’s exactly what she was - a storm…on the battlefield, at least.”

  He smiled faintly. “To the outside world, she was a hero. She always wore her signature smile in public. But inside the mansion, the real her…was far more fragile. After blood-soaked battles, even those she'd won, she’d lock herself away for days. Sometime weeks. We’d hear her crying. Drinking. She never let anyone in. Not the staff. Not her family. Not even her husband and children. She never truly let anyone in. The mental scars just piled up – and she chose to carry them all alone.”

  I felt a chill run through me as my mind already assumed what had happened to her. “Did she…end her own life?”

  Balthor sighed heavily. “She did. It marked the beginning of a long, dark age in my kingdom. Her children eventually followed in her footsteps, becoming warriors themselves. While I, in turn, finished my training and became the family butler, replacing their old, retiring one. Watching her children leave for battles, I vowed to her memory I would never let them suffer alone like she had.”

  He took a long, quiet breath. “I may not be an actual butler anymore. And you’re not her kin. But my vow still stands. I try to uphold it with every Champion Master Chronos recruits. To help them unload the stresses of the time loop – where the memory erasure can’t.”

  I sighed heavily, almost matching his earlier one. “My mental scars have nothing to do with this time loop. At least not yet.” I said. “I just learned my mother somehow aided Valdemar – an actual terrorist. And that she didn’t kill herself – she was murdered. Under orders from the Primarch himself.”

  Balthor nodded slowly, absorbing my words. “Learning such things about our loved ones would hurt anyone. Try to – “

  “Loved ones?” I cut in sharply. “Balthor, I hate her. There’s not a single person in Solvane I despise more than my mother.”

  His eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t interrupt – just waited.

  “She abandoned us.” I said, my voice growing emotional. “Just left me and Dad behind when they offered her the move to Skyhaven. I get it – her invention saved Solvane, so surely it was worth it. I’m not petty enough to say she should’ve picked me over saving the world.”

  I sat up, my anger rising with me.

  “But she didn’t even try to contact us. Not once. Not a single message. Not a single visit. So I made a vow. If she wasn’t going to come down to us, I would come up to her. I shaped my whole damn life around that. Became an inventor not because of passion or something noble like that – though I kept lying to myself that those were the reasons – but because I wanted to stand in front of her one day. Look her in the eyes and tell her exactly what I thought of her.”

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  I laughed bitterly. “And what does she do? She dies. She fucking dies, Balthor. Since it happened, for the past year, I hated her even more – because I thought she had robbed me of that chance by taking her own life. But apparently, Dalton Rose was the one who took it away.”

  Balthor opened his mouth to respond, but I wasn’t finished.

  “And then I find out she remarried. And worse – I have a half-sister.” I shook my head. “And while part of me wants to hate her too – this sister I don’t even know – because she’s the only piece of my mother left beside me…I can’t. I just can’t let her rot in whatever prison Dalton Rose keeps her in. I can’t turn away from her. She’s still a kid!”

  I swallowed hard. “And now…I hate my mother even more. Because even in death, she’s still manipulating my life. I need to save Solvane, but at the same time, I can’t just leave my sister behind! Ugh, I hate her so much!”

  Balthor exhaled slowly. “I don’t think you truly hate your mother, Mr. Halegrim. Wasn’t there an incident where you were arrested for beating up a young man who insulted her?”

  My head snapped toward him. “You know about that?”

  Balthor chuckled. “We do. The Déjà vu System usually reveals this kind of information about the Champion it selects.”

  I groaned, turning my gaze away, not wanting to discuss it any further. “I don’t know why I did it. But it definitely wasn’t out of love.”

  “Then let’s leave that part aside.” Balthor said gently. “Instead, let’s focus on the facts. So far, both Memory Fragments you found were somehow connected to your mother. If past Battles are anything to go by, that means she was a key figure in everything leading up to Erebus descension. And knowing the Déjà vu System as well as I do, I can say with certainty – it chose to show you those specific memories for a reason. Understanding your mother’s past will help you stop Valdemar and Erebus. And save your sister along the way.”

  “You really think it’s all connected on that deep a level?”

  He nodded. “Not a doubt in my mind.”

  I let out a long sigh, taking his words as confirmation of the things I had already suspected myself.

  “Maybe you’re right.” I muttered. “But I still don’t get it. Stanford – my sister’s father – he’s the one who got me onto the Expo. At first, I thought he might be Dolos’ Champion. But…five knives in the chest kind of disproves that. Not to mention that fucking Crow wiping the floor with me.” I shook my head, a chill running down my spine at the memory. “But if the Crow is the Champion, then who is Stanford? How did he know I was going to be selected as Chronos’ Champion? Or was it just chance I got picked for the Expo? Or am I missing something else entirely?”

  “I wish I could say, Mr. Halegrim.” Balthor said. “But as you know, we’re blind up here. I don’t know what’s happening in Solvane better than you are. You’ll have to keep investigating until things become clearer.”

  I sighed deeply, nodding. “Yeah…guess so.”

  Then my eyes flicked to the empty glass table. “Where are the others, by the way?”

  And is if summoned by my question, a portal opened – and Chronos and Pixelle jumped through, the young woman landing first. She looked frantic, her eyes wide. When they landed on me, they widened even further.

  “Viktor. Your COG. NOW.” She said with urgency.

  I looked to Balthor, who only gestured toward her with his head – telling me to comply.

  I stood up, unfastening and unbuckling the COG from my arm as I spoke. “Why? What’s going on?”

  Pixelle didn’t answer. She snatched the COG from my hand, swiped her palm across the screen, then made a sharp pulling motion. Suddenly, a glowing purple sphere emerged from the device – and instantly exploded into a flurry of overlapping screens, each one connected to my COG with its own glowing blue tether. She began aggressively swiping at the air and moving the screens away one by one as if searching for something.

  “What’s going on?” I turned to Chronos, completely lost.

  Chronos exhaled deeply. “We might have a serious problem.”

  “Dolos?” Balthor asked as he stepped closer.

  Chronos nodded grimly, then turned to me. “How are you holding up?”

  I shook my head, exasperated. “I don’t know what to do. I was getting somewhere, but then this Obsidian Crow just showed up out of nowhere and killed me twice. And the way he spoke…he has to be the second Champion.”

  “Not necessarily.” Chronos said. “In the past, we encountered one individual – not a Champion – who managed to gain awareness of the time loop through…unconventional means. Long story. The important part is: this possibility exists. So while the Crow might be the second looper, I don’t want you treating it as a fact. If you do, it’ll narrow your perspective, and you’ll miss the other traps Dolos had definitely planted.”

  More uncertainty. More variables. My mind was spinning.

  “Then at least let me remember him.” I said. “The Crow. Just like you let me keep the memory of the clerk before. I need that when I plan.”

  Chronos nodded. “Agreed. You’ll retain all your memories of him.”

  “All my memories of him?” I echoed, narrowing my eyes. The phrasing struck me as odd.

  “Yes.” Chronos said, his expression tightening. “It’s not the first loop he killed you, Viktor. Pixelle made the connection. The Crow only appears after you watch a Memory Fragment for the first time. Meaning that next time you find one…watch it somewhere isolated. Somewhere safe.”

  I swallowed hard at the revelation.

  Chronos continued. “There’s another thing you should know.”

  “What now?” I asked, bracing myself.

  “We don’t have time for the full lecture now – that’ll come later.” Chronos said. “But in your last run, out of the nothingness I usually see, I managed to glimpse something. I saw all the marked individuals in the Divine. It seems Dolos’ Champion was spreading his knowledge of the future with others to get as many people marked as possible. To create chaos for you.”

  “I figured that out already.” I said, trying not so sound too defensive. But did he think I was too dense to understand this concept on my own?

  “I know you did.” Chronos replied calmly. “That’s not where I was taking this.”

  He took a deep breath. “This is a rough estimation, so take it with a grain of salt: around loop fifteen, Erebus will become powerful enough to run deeper investigations. Instead of marking the person who physically made the ‘significant change’, he’ll start tracking the source. The originator of the change.”

  I frowned, the implications already unraveling in my mind.

  “I’m telling you this because it might make the second looper’s plan backfire.” Chronos said. “It could create an opportunity for you to sniff him out. But I’m also reminding you – do not share the knowledge of the loop with anyone. Or else, you'd risk getting marked as well.”

  “Sure. I know.” I nodded, obviously leaving out the part where I’d already been very tempted to do just that after seeing how many people were marked and understanding the other looper’s plan.

  “Also,” Chronos continued, “so far, you’ve made the right call: Erebus is indeed focused only on the Divine at the moment. That’s allowed you to move freely through the rest of Skyhaven without being marked. But as the loops progress and his power grows, that won’t last. Eventually, and I can’t predict when right now, his checks will get so precise that even minor irregularities – like someone missing from the Expo despite being there in the original timeline – will be enough to pass his threshold and get you marked.”

  I understood where he was going with this. “Meaning that sooner or later, I’ll be bound to the Divine. No more time to investigate Solvane unless I want to get marked.”

  Chronos nodded, confirming my fears.

  “This is it!” Pixelle suddenly cried. “Look!”

  We all turned toward her.

  She was shaking, her fingers trembling as she pointed at one of the glowing tethers connecting the purple screens to my COG.

  This one wasn’t blue like the others.

  It was red.

  “What are we seeing?” I asked, my voice tight.

  “The purple screens are the Déjà vu System.” Pixelle said, barely holding herself together. “We tethered it to your COG after your first death. But this – “ she jabbed toward the red connection, her voice cracking. “this is bad! That red tether means your COG was infected. It carried a virus…and that infection spread into the Déjà vu System and caused that weird quest." she shook her head, turning away. "Your COG was tainted before we even started…”

  Chronos’ eyes widened. “Don’t tell me…”

  “Yes.” Pixelle said, her voice finally breaking. “To some extent…Dolos has gained access to the Déjà vu System.”