"Anything," I said. "Just ask."

  My mouth blurted the words before my mind could interfere. Stupid. Never promise, never say anything you couldn't back up. The Knife gave me a long look, as if judging me. Or working up his courage. I'd prefer the first one, having grown used to being judged. Seeing the Knife hesitate, that was scary.

  "I need you to take over the Star Horse," he said.

  "Say what?" I said. Hao's eyebrows shot up, both of them, her eyes showing whites all around, making her look like a blue-eyed shotgun.

  "I need you to become captain of the Star Horse," the Knife said. "It might be temporary. Might not."

  "No," I said. "It's a crudmunging dumb idea. I won't do it."

  I could feel my shoulders trying to climb upward, and forced them down by an act of will. Not that it made me calmer. I wouldn't last a week on the Horse before there'd be a complete civil war. The Knife was what held the Horse together. Without him... Impossible.

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  "You said anything," the Knife said.

  "Anything but that," I said. "You're what keeps the Horse from killing itself. Those people depend on you. To them, I'm just another gunslinger. You, they respect in a way that goes beyond fear."

  The Knife sighed, ran a hand through his thinning, gray hair. Some people had silver hair. The Knife's was only gray, as if he hadn't rated anything more.

  I couldn't stop staring. The Knife hesitating was scary. The Knife sighing, looking defeated, that was unimaginable.

  "They respect you, too," he said, slumping forward. Defeated. That's what he looked like. "You're the one who brought down a ship for them, destroyed the Syndics. They'd follow you."

  "Some of them would follow me," I said. "The bloods would kill me."

  "They'd try," the Knife said. "But you're tough to kill. And you'd have Widen to help you."

  Again with the long look. Something was completely off here. I needed to get to the deep of it, before I flew into an asteroid field. Except that the Knife wasn't one to open up, hard as a rock and twice as stubborn. Still, I had to try.

  "Why don't you tell me what this is really about?" I said, giving him my most sympathetic look. To my surprise, he licked his lips, and started talking.

  "It's my son," the Knife said.