Chapter 9

  Employees of the Month

  The entrance to the Tower turned out to be a heavily guarded gate - the thing looked incredibly sturdy and was at least two metres deep. The guards positioned outside were alert and had the air of people who knew their business.

  “Pete,” whispered Rel. He needn’t have bothered; Kaelis’s armour clanged so obnoxiously with every step that I could barely hear myself think. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to go into a place that needs a gate like that to keep things from escaping?”

  “Just keep your eyes on the prize, buddy,” I said. “One gold a day!”

  It was difficult to be sure over the sound of Kaelis’s armour, but I’m fairly certain I heard Rel mutter ‘greedy bastard’ under his breath. I chose not to dignify it with a response.

  A guard with an unnecessarily elaborate helmet nodded respectfully and stepped forward to greet Kaelis.

  “Good afternoon, Trialist,” he said. “The gatekeeper will be here in a moment to grant you entry.”

  “Thank you, Captain,” said Kaelis. “You’re doing fine work here.”

  Oh, I see. Kaelis wasn’t an entirely arrogant dick – he just suffered from a case of selective politeness.

  A door to our left opened, and a figure in a dark blue robe emerged. They had a large hood that bathed their face in shadow.

  “Are you ready, Trialist?” the figure asked. He had a very dignified and sonorous voice. Honestly, I was a little bit jealous. If I sounded like that, I’d regularly stand on bridges and tell people they were not allowed to pass.

  “Indeed, Magus,” said Kaelis, moving to stand before the gate.

  The Magus nodded. He began to move his hands in a bizarre pattern and a glow formed around them. It was a blue, arcane energy, and even with the distance between us, I could feel the air thrumming with the power of it.

  Okay, I have to admit that it was impressive.

  “I want to learn magic,” whispered Rel, the awe in his voice unmistakable.

  * * *

  We stepped through the gate and walked along a dark tunnel for a few minutes. It was illuminated by the occasional torch, but it was a little disconcerting to barely be able to see the ground beneath our feet. Kaelis seemed unperturbed, as if it was just another day at the office, and strolled on ahead. After a few gentle twists and turns, I spotted light ahead.

  It was literally a case of light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully there was no foreshadowing there.

  We stepped out of the tunnel into a… jungle. That wasn’t the strangest part, though. I suppose it’s conceivable you could plant some trees inside a building and try and maintain them. What was not conceivable was that we were standing under a bright sun and blue sky. There were even bloody clouds drifting across it!

  “What the fuck? I thought we were inside a building?” I whispered to Rel.

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  He glared at me, his eyes as sharp as daggers.

  “You asshole. I told you this was a bad idea. I swear, if you get us killed, I’ll bite your fucking toes off!” he snarled back in a harsh whisper.

  “Is there a problem, attendants?” asked Kaelis.

  The Trialist stood impatiently, his hands resting on his hips as he fixed disapproving eyes on us.

  “No, boss,” I said quickly. “There’s no problem at all.”

  “Good,” said Kaelis, drawing his axe. “Let’s get to work then. Remember, maintain a safe distance and don’t move to loot the corpses until the area is clear.”

  With that, he turned and strode into the jungle. He would have looked rather heroic were it not for the fact he had to walk with his arm raised awkwardly so that his outlandishly large weapon did not drag along the ground.

  Rel and I shared a look, then followed.

  * * *

  I have to give credit where it’s due - Kaelis was pretty good at using the axe. He’d made short work of all the creatures we’d encountered so far.

  They were very much what you’d expect to find in a jungle setting: snakes, birds, big cats, crocodiles, and whatnot. They didn’t look exactly like they had on Earth, but the resemblance was unmistakeable. The main difference was that they were much bigger – and much more aggressive.

  There were also creatures that were unlike anything I’d ever seen. The most disturbing was one that I decided to call ‘The Blob’. It was an enormous, writhing mass of slime held together by what I can only assume was incredible willpower. Or possibly magic. That fight had been a little touch and go for a while. Every swing of Kaelis’s axe left a huge trench in the thing’s body, but it quickly reformed.

  In the end, he’d had to unleash a whirlwind of blows, damaging the creature’s body to the extent that it didn't have the energy needed to reform. Kaelis got so carried away during the onslaught that he even shouted, ‘Die, you slimy bastard, die!’

  Honestly, I’d never felt closer to him than I did in that moment.

  Mine and Rel’s job turned out to be a pretty easy one. When I first saw the mutilated corpses that Kaelis had left in his wake, I thought I’d have to swim through a pool of blood and then start removing body parts and digging through innards.

  Thankfully, that was not the case.

  When I looked down at a creature’s corpse, a screen appeared showing what loot was available. I could inspect each item, and a small information box would appear with a basic description. If I wanted to loot it, it would simply transfer to the pouch Kaelis had given me.

  I guess freaky alien magic has its benefits.

  At one point, Rel and I became a little too complacent and did not leave enough of a gap between our position and where Kaelis was fighting.

  Kaelis was in the process of trying to cut an enormous parrot in half. An oddly polite bear was sat around fifteen metres away, as if patiently waiting for its turn to have a chance to eat Kaelis.

  I got a little carried away when watching the fight and shouted, “Come on, Kaelis. Give Polly a crack-er around the head!”

  The bear heard, turned to look at us, and clearly decided that eating us was a much better idea than waiting for Kaelis to finish.

  “Great work, Pete,” sighed Rel. “Way to break rule #2 – keep out of the way.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, shrugging guiltily. “I just got a bit carried away watching the fight.”

  The bear padded towards us, apparently deciding that we didn’t present enough of a threat to warrant a charge.

  Big mistake, buddy.

  Compared to the bear that Rel had convinced to maul me back in the forest, this thing looked like a pushover. I stepped forward, raising my hand in a way that even the most discerning pimp would have been proud of.

  The bear leapt at me, its jaws open wide. I felt a little bad as I saw the glimmer of excitement in its beady little eyes. It thought it had stumbled upon an easy meal.

  The back of my hand connected with the side of its face.

  It exploded into a mist of blood and bone.

  You have gained 1 strength.

  Current strength: 33

  A strength gain? Damn, I’d forgotten how good that felt.

  I felt pretty satisfied with myself as I looked down at what remained of the bear’s body.

  “You asshole!” shrieked Rel.

  I turned around.

  Oh.

  Apparently Rel had been directly in the path of the exploding bear stew. He was chest deep in blood and there were bone fragments decorating his fur.

  “I’m sorry!” I said, running over to lift him – at arm’s length – out of the swimming pool I’d built for him.

  I withdrew some of the water from Kaelis’s pouch and tried to wash the blood out of his fur.

  It didn’t work.

  I took several steps back and gave him my most apologetic smile.

  “Look on the bright side,” I said. “Red really suits you.”

  After Rel had grown tired of trying to catch me so that he could ‘feed me my own fingers’, we moved to follow Kaelis and continued to loot the creatures he’d killed. The Trialist had somehow remained entirely oblivious of our encounter with the bear.