It took ten days of trekking through the wood, working on new languages, and straining muscles I wasn’t aware that I had before we reached the coast. The speed with which I kept ahead of Thuvvik the first day was mitigated by knots on the second day of the journey. Thuvvik provided some ointment that helped me keep moving, but the knots persisted and made me long for an actual bed and a warm bath. I had actually figured out a way to warm cups of water using some minor amounts of magical energy, though I had mainly been keeping my tea warm at night, and was looking forward to trying it on a bathtub.

  But before that we had set up a camp just outside Tsuruga. Thuvvik had taken my measurements and scurried into the port town to find me some clothes that were less obviously of the People. I had never worn anything besides a kimono, so I wasn’t exactly excited, though I would be thankful for the looser fit of Elven clothes. Both of my kimonos were starting to feel tight and probably needed some reworking, which was concerning but not something to be done on the open road. That was neither here nor there, however, since my task was to perfect my disguise.

  It had been easy enough to hide the obvious qualities. My ears almost folded into my head, and long locks of hair and rounded protrusions erupted in their place. The tail - sorry tails, which was still odd to think of - shrunk and almost curled at the same time into the base of my spine. It was strange to look at and even stranger to feel. My pupils, with some help from a particularly clear creek and light, were rounded out, with both of my irises shrinking and the eye expanding to give me as much white in my eyes as your average elf. My feet extended and flattened so that my heel was on the ground. It was like learning how to walk all over again.

  The things I had gone into the woods knowing I’d need to hide, I had sorted on the fourth night in. I still woke up as a Kitsune, the disguise fading as I slept, but the more I practiced the quicker I was able to change into my disguised form. The real struggle had been the new body parts that I seemed to be developing as my body continued to change and grow with the magical energies I was now apparently overflowing with.

  It was the sixth night that I nicked myself with nails. It happened before, normally when I had trimmed them distractedly. Hadn’t happened in years, but with so much going on I wasn’t surprised that I had made a mistake. So, I cut a bit of bark from the tree and rubbed my nails against it until they were ground down to a reasonable length so that I wasn’t at risk of cutting myself again.

  The next morning they had grown back. Well, not entirely. The center had grown into a sharp point and thickened to be durable enough to withstand over a dozen kedu of deliberate filing. I had never heard of kitsune having claws for weapons, but these seemed impractical for any form of combat. “Except if you were able to ambush someone. Get up close, shapeshift into your true form, and pierce an artery or throat.”

  Oh, that was entirely too disturbing and, unfortunately, practical advice I reluctantly filed away as a last moment contingency for a very bad day.

  It took two days to make the mental leap required to classify those as needing to be disguised and get them to thin and even out. I was very happy with my abilities and my disguise when Thuvvik asked me why I hadn’t done anything with my fangs. A trip to a creek, a light spell, a lot of cursing about pronounced canines, and a restructured mouth that I had somehow missed later, I was back at refining my disguise and trying very hard not to think about how fangs could also puncture skin and arteries.

  Unless something new popped up, I had disguised all my obviously kitsune features. Granted, I still didn’t have the pointed ears or sharp angular face of an elf. It had been the cause of a minor breakdown and large frustration until Thuvvik had calmed me by pointing out I could pass myself as a human. Not an ideal scenario, given that neither of us spoke the human’s moribund tongue, but a workable one. I’d have to construct a scenario to explain my lack of understanding and customs as well, but that was easier since, according to Thuvvik, humans no longer had a centralized culture. I wasn’t sure how that occurred, but Thuvvik hadn’t deigned to explain.

  I had spent most of the morning trying to get my ears to sharpen, but by the time the sun was a quarter of the way through the sky and the second bell had rung, I had made no progress. So instead, it was time to focus on rounding out the disguise I had.

  I had largely mastered walking, but anything faster than a leisurely pace was asking for me to trip and fall. Given that my one foray into adventuring involved a jolt jaguar and lots of running, that would need to be worked upon.

  And so I ran, I leapt, I climbed, and I fell. A lot. When I got frustrated with how clumsy I was, I practiced both spellcasting and my languages by trying to string together the concentration phrases to make spells work in different languages. The split in my attention made the spell effects less dramatic than when I cast in Tho-myon, or even Quori, though the fact that I could cast in Quori easily made me think it was more about fluency and less about Runna being an inherently less magical language. Not that I’d ever tell Mother that.

  By the time Thuvvik returned, just after the third bell when the sun was high in the sky, I was a sweaty mess and in even more need of the bath than I had been this morning and nearly soaked through to the outer layer of my kimono. He didn’t comment, just motioned for me to follow him into the port town.

  ****************************************************************************************

  As impressive as it was, Tsurugua felt like a larger and more cosmopolitan version of the Academy with walls and a large stone bastion in the center of it. The houses were still smaller family-sized affairs with sliding doors and thatched roofs. There were two market squares on either end of town with Refrectories at the center of them. I could see how what had started as two villages on the coast had grown and merged together into a singular township, likely around where the bastion now stood. Several guards, Tengu and Kitsune mostly, patrolled the wall with bows, their eyes scanning both the town and the sea. I had never set foot in the town, but was confident I could find the market, residential district, or anything else I was asked to find given how similar it was in feel to home. Unfortunately for bluster and confidence, Thuvvik had already secured everything we needed, so I wasn’t able to put my beliefs to the test.

  We went straight for the inn that was just inside Tsuruga’s walls. I had entered the city as a kitsune, which helped ease Thuvvik’s re-admittance and got us a warm greeting at the inn. I was quickly directed to a surprisingly large room with a private bath and handed the outfit he had tailored for me.

  The bath was nice and the spellform I had used for warming my tea kept the water warmer for far longer than was normal. I spent the extra time enjoying the warmth, extending the soothing sensations as long as possible to work out my knots. I wasn’t one for idleness, but after the stresses of the past several days, I felt I deserved the downtime. “Though,” I admitted, musing to the empty room, “If I’m being honest with myself, it’s because this is my last chance to be me.”

  And it was true, once we left this inn I’d have to be in my disguise for the foreseeable future. Taking a free kitsune into the Runnan Empire was tantamount to smuggling and even if we could find a captain willing to do it, we’d have no guarantee that they wouldn’t just sell me into slavery to double their profits or turn us out if we were boarded by a Menic frigate, a Runnan Patrol ship, or slavers. And I couldn’t be seen going near the ship as a kitsune, because we didn’t know who might be traveling with us and might report the red-headed “human” to Runnan authorities.

  “And what guarantees,” whispered that detached, and macabre, voice in my head, “do you have that our escort won’t be the Rat he is and sell us too?”

  Over the past few days with Thuvvik, I felt like I had a decent judge of his character. He was a shrewd merchant but valued his word and wouldn’t go back on it unless he had promised it to someone else first.

  “Are you certain that it isn’t a facade? Or that he hasn’t already made a deal before entering the village? Or that he won’t sell you out once the contract is completed?”

  I sunk deeper into the tub, annoyed that my other conscious had a point. The detach…. Oh forget this. This voice was too distracting, too dark, too different. And while it had useful information, practical and dark as it was, referring to it as ‘detached’ or ‘other consciousness’ was a hassle. I wasn’t sure if this was a gift from the Gods or a sign of me going soft in the head, but if it was going to keep talking, I was just going to name it. Give me some semblance of control over the entire situation.

  “Name?” I asked both the empty room and myself, “Got an opinion on that?”

  When I got no response, I took it as indifference and moved forward.

  “Well, you’re useful, but dreary. Always assuming the worst,” I started. “You’re cold and severe. Rin?”

  “Naming your thought processes and having conversations with yourself is often a sign of madness or possession,” Rin supplied.

  The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

  I winced, suddenly regretting trying to name this voice. The sharpness in the tone there seemed more pointed than it had previously. Perhaps this had been a mistake. That somehow giving this voice a name was giving it power. But the words had already been said and there was no way to unsay them.

  Panic swelled and it wasn’t just from the naming. Today or tomorrow I would be leaving the Wood and the comfort and safety of my people. Spiders, why had I agreed to this? I wasn’t even an adult, I wasn’t a particularly strong mage. I was just a young woman who wanted to keep her sister safe. I wanted to wake up, pretend that everything was just a dream, that I hadn’t made these agreements. That I could just recant my agreement and go home. This entire quest for the Gods reeked of bad choices. Insanity. And of course, I had to be insane if I was talking to voices in my mind.

  “You do at least have the presence to question your sanity, which is rarely the mark of an insane person.”

  That pulled a bitter laugh from my lips. Because, while she was right, conversations with the unseen was almost a caricature of the cautionary tales I learned in the academy. Every piece of learning I had pointed to this being a sign that I was possessed or otherwise lost.

  Except, I could see the marks on my collarbone, just above the surface of the bathwater. I could see as the water brushed against them and they refused to move, emblazoned on my skin. And, if I sat for just a moment, I could almost feel Death’s thumb brushing across my collarbone. That memory was in some way the most grounding thing. It was something so obscene, so absurd that I couldn’t even conceive of having dreamt it. And if that was real, then I wasn’t mad. This was just… part of the deal I had made.

  So while I wanted to shut down, wallow in the madness and sadness of being out of mind, I knew I couldn’t. That I wound’t. I had a goal, a job. So instead, I took the panic I felt and pointedly shoved it aside, instead focusing on the fact that I still had agency and hadn’t lost any time yet, which meant I still had control for now. This… voice, Rin, was just part of my life now.

  “You’re not wrong Rin,” I agreed aloud, seeking to regain some control over everything. “But if leaving my home and family behind; to go on a quest into an Empire that will put a slave collar on me if they get the faintest hint that I’m not who I’m portraying as; to fulfill a request of an Outsider that has already confessed to being constrained, and thus unlikely to be able to ensure that I do the job she asked of me; isn’t insanity, I don’t know what is.”

  I was again met with silence, but this one felt more like a grudging acknowledgement of a point.

  ************************************************************************************************

  When I stopped looking like a person and more like a prune, I pulled myself out of the tub, dried myself, and started pulling myself into the odd clothes Thuvvik had provided for me.

  The undergarments made enough sense. There was a bit of a struggle with the breast binders, since they were very different from the dudou I was used to. However, it could only go in two configurations that would support the breasts well enough that they wouldn’t bounce or otherwise cause troubles when I did anything other than walk and look pretty.

  The skirt, tunic, and gloves made enough sense as well and I was pleasantly surprised to find that there were discrete holes that my tails could extend through if I shifted back while clothed. I wasn’t sure how Thuvvik arranged that, but I was grateful for the consideration despite Rin’s distrust. The gloves seemed impractical since they didn’t cover my fingers at all, but that was probably for the best. I already had enough issues with dexterity in this body, I didn’t need thin bits of leather impeding my ability to make spellforms.

  Boots were a bit of an issue. Kitsune had feet like fox paws and the sharp rise from the fox paw to leg and the required dexterity to make that work meant that a rigid and hard leather boot was just not an option. As it was, I had a bit of a struggle getting into the boot and lacing it in such a way that it didn’t slide or feel like my foot had gotten caught in a snare. After that, I strapped on the belt Elder Yamamoto had given me, draped the cloak over my shoulders, and delicately pulled the wide-brim hat on to my head, forgetting I didn’t currently have pointed ears to crush.

  Taking one last look in the mirror, I grabbed my pack and made my way down to the common area where Thuvvik was waiting for me.

  He had apparently bathed and, based on the small piles of mostly empty plates, eaten while waiting for me. He spared me but a moment’s glance before returning to a half-eaten plate.

  “You should order something to eat too. We have some things to discuss before we embark,” he said between bites.

  Skeptically, I sat down and motioned for the barmaid, a weathered and matronly looking Nekomata, prowled over with a warm smile.

  “Oh, you must be the human Thuvvik was telling me about. What can I do for you, dear?”

  I spared a glance at Thuvvik before returning the barmaid’s smile, “Oh, just need something to eat. Whatever’s warm and fresh please?”

  She nodded and slid away. Discreetly, Thuvvik slid a small bag towards me.

  “Coinage, for your shopping needs. Traded some of your supplies for less obtrusive means of trade. We’ll shop after you eat.”

  I suppressed my annoyance that he had bartered my supplies without me with the sharp reminder that he had been paid to help and was a merchant. I might know how to barter, but coins were a notable weakness of mine. And then I realized that my annoyance had been born from Rin’s paranoia and did my hardest to push it aside.

  “Thank you,” I said honestly.

  “Yes, yes,” he agreed. “I also managed to do some asking around. Not many humans in area, so hard to explain where you came from if anyone asks. But, apparently there is orphanage in town. Has many different children.”

  I was too busy smiling at the Nekomata who had brought me a large bowl of stew atop a bed of rice to respond. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it was so thick with vegetables and fresh meat that I didn’t complain. Once she left, he continued.

  “So, we strike two birds with one stone. Your parents died on trading expedition into Wood, leaving you parentless and without teacher of human ways. Uncomfortable being one of few humans in area, you saved up and bought passage out. Freeport isn’t where you want to be, but it’s convenient hub that you might find either your calling or ship to somewhere else.”

  It was an impressive bit of fiction. Simple enough that I wouldn’t forget it; adaptable enough to improvise, add, and explain away; all while covering for my lack of knowledge about human culture.

  “You’ve done this before,” I stated more than asked.

  He shrugged slightly, putting his now-finished plate aside. “Sometimes, goods you are in charge of shipping can’t be said to be where they are from. If Dragonkin knew that hides and leather they were selling me often went to Elves, or bows I sold them had been fairly bought and not stolen, they would not be willing to buy. Pride,” he said with a dismissive wave. “Understand, yes?”

  “Still, that’s a form of dishonesty in your trade,” I said, probing for evidence to contradict Rin’s worries. “Seems, counter? Counter to what I’ve seen from you thus far.”

  He nodded silently, conceding the point.

  “It used to keep me up. But in end it’s not so much a lie as omission. They make assumptions and I don’t contradict them. It’s thin line, splitting hairs, but it’s one I’ve made peace with. Trade is going to be made anyways, why not profit off it? Yes?”

  Something about that sat wrong with me, but I couldn’t put my finger on what so instead, I sat and enjoyed my stew.

  **********************************************************************************

  The next morning, we found ourselves walking onto the Ragged Anne, a merchant boat headed to Freeport. Thuvvik had apparently worked with the captain before, but far more importantly, it was largely a human crew. Which meant plenty of people to socialize with and fill the holes in my knowledge. For being confined and restricted, the Gods had certainly done an exceptional job twisting things in my favor.

  Still, it was my first time on a boat, so I was more interested in taking in the new sights than watching where I was going. Which is how I ran firmly into a wall.

  The wall was a taller human, with sharply cut muscles, deep olive skin, but a young face. He was probably close to my age. Given a kitsune’s naturally slight build, I’d never seen so many muscles on a single person before. It was almost unseemly.

  “Oh, sorry ma’am” he said in flawless Tho-myon, reaching down and extending a helping hand, “Didn’t see you there. Let me help you up.”

  I gave him my best polite smile as I took his hand. “Well, I’m at least equally to blame, I wasn’t watching where I was going either.”

  There was an easy laugh, “Well I can’t let someone as pretty as you take the blame for that. So, clearly it must be my fault.”

  Pretty? That was a bit bold of him. Was… was he flirting with me? For some reason I found myself blushing as I stammered out a response, “Oh, well then you’ll just have to make it up to me.” When his eyebrows shot up, I was confused before realizing that there was another implication that could be taken from my sentence. Thuvvik’s impromptu lessons on innuendo flashed in my mind. Endless abyss, did he think I was flirting back with him?

  “Good, now he’ll be more pliable and willing to provide us with information,” Rin supplied.

  That was so far besides the point. I was still unbed and wasn’t about to sleep with him for information.

  “Who said anything about sex? Tempt him, deny him, make him beg for it and he’ll tell you anything.”

  My blush deepened, which probably made it the same color as my hair. “Well,” I said, if only to cut Rin out, “I’ll need someone to talk to. I’m Kara.”

  There was a wide and toothy grin as he responded, “Eninald Vorthos. And I’m sure we can ...talk.”

  And I had thought that people knowing and talking in sexually charged euphemisms was a quirk of Thuvvik.