I TURNED TO the left side of my bed, I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened that afternoon, at school, I not only couldn't believe I was actually a part of something that vast and took part in one of it's curriculums, the throbbing adrenaline, combative activity that I was absolutely terrible at, I was skeptical about the whole notion of getting good in fence.

  I was also anxious to skip the whole training and get as good as Branden Richards. Instantly, I wondered how it was that possible for a person to be already good at something while others struggled, during everyone's first try. I sighed and turned right, the thrill of acquiring such a talent would have not just enlightened me but Dad too. Was all I kept turning on.

  I glanced at my ceiling, I couldn't see a thing, it was Dark, my lights were off. And I knew turning them on would just arouse me more, I turned to my left side and shut my eyes tightly. And for a moment, I felt my form weigh less and adrift.

  It was like a sudden sight, I could see myself lying in bed, on my left side, I seemed to be asleep, heavily exhaling, although I looked so serene, like my Dream- My Dream? Was I dreaming? Or was I imagining myself dreaming? I couldn't tell if I was dreaming, I surprisingly didn't know, all I knew at that moment was what I was seeing. A sleeping Alwyn. Where my mind was, it felt lost and hazy, I could feel my lungs, pressure build in them as I breathed, and that was all.

  And for that moment, everything went Dark, I couldn't see myself anymore, it was though my sight was gone. Something was wrong and I wanted to yell out about how I felt, but when I did I couldn't hear myself anymore or anything around me for that fact. I tried to hold my covers but I couldn't feel them either, I tried to feel my body- I was sure I couldn't feel that too. I had no power over any sense. I felt detached from my own body, It was like I was gone, though I was Dead, if I knew how that felt like exactly, but I didn't. I didn't know what was happening, I had no will to do anything.

  I could hear my thoughts, they seemed so light, so real. Audible. That when I focused my mind on an image I could see again. But what was strange was that I couldn't see what was around me anymore, only what was far, I was hovering? Floating? Moving? I think, only I wasn't moving, my body was no where in sight, I couldn't see myself anywhere, all I could see was the hallway to my room, that tedious hallway, and the turn after, it was the hallway to Mom's painting room, but this time the hallway had her beautiful paintings.

  I saw them again, they looked so clear and bright, my blurry images of them slowly became lucid. However, I hardly spent half a minute acknowledging what was on them exactly, I felt myself move again, my life force pressed up against the door, sharply, it felt like I was being forcefully pushed in. But the Door- I thought, the door was locked, How was I going to get in?

  That didn't seem impossible because the next thing I knew, I busted in. The room was dark. The darkness leaped at every corner, every turn, every nook. Everywhere. And I felt myself become part of this darkness, I felt an intense fright flared through me, like the feeling of something going in you then dragging you down with it. It made me terrified.

  What matched the uncomforts of this room was how cold it was becoming. It was cold. I felt my body, slowly, slowly begin to freeze. I could feel myself shivering as I walked- I ? I could feel again, my legs- my feet were moving, but I still couldn't see, confusion and lost jarred at my skin like a tight knot. I didn't know where I was, or where I was walking to, I tried to look back to where I came from, but that was a waste, they wasn't a door anymore, I was pretty skeptical, if they was one to begin with, it was like it had disappeared immediately I was forced in.

  I had no idea where left or right, North or South, East or West was, I was buggled. This was not how I pictured the room to be, the room felt so huge like they was nothing in it, I began to consider if this was Mom's painting room. Or if this was even a room. I stepped backward and that's when I heard a shrill, shrills enough to bring a mad man snap back to his senses, Only these shrills sounded alot familiar- Very familiar, my mind echoed with a revelation, realizing where they were coming from.

  I was screaming because I was now falling. I had come across a hole and inadvertently stepped in it, I fell what seemed like a thousand feet below, the pressure blew up on me, I lostly fell into impossible darkness, when would it end, I kept on falling and falling and everytime I thought I reached the bottom, I'd end up falling all over again into more Darkness. I was terrified, afraid because I couldn't catch my breath. Afraid because It felt like I couldn't breath, afraid because I didn't think it was ever going to end, afraid because I was trapped in this darkness- the worst feeling was the darkness I felt inside of me. Going right in through me. Preying on any hope I had left to getting out of here, consuming it all up into one word- fear.

  I hoped, maybe I could hold on to some object in this pit of abyss of quite literally and figuratively murky nothingness, but like any luck of seeing or getting a hold of something down there, it was evident they was nothing but darkness down there. Endless darkness.

  In what seemed like eternity, I saw light, it was down below me. And I was falling right into it. And in the light, I saw myself again. I was still asleep, lying in my bed. It was like I was falling back into myself again. Only I didn't feel like myself. The moment I passed through that bottom hole. Almost immediately I got through, it was though my lense of viewing what was ahead of me had shifted and I was watching the whole falling occur before my eyes, I instantly even discovered that, it was my ceiling's little black spot, I had surprisingly come out of it. My life force, I presumably morphed into this misty inked hand? Of some sort, like just a eerie ebony-dust engulfed hand, jutting out of that little hole, but magnified everytime it got below my body.

  It was like a hand reaching out from a hole onto me. It-The life force, the soul in terror wasn't me any more it was some sort of apparition. I felt like moving my body from there before it got to It, but I didn't have the strength to. It was like I wasn't even there. All I could do was watch, the only sense operating. The hand got to my body. It began to weigh strongly at the side of my face forcing my face into the pillow.

  In whatever form I took, whether I was a thought, a shadow or just one particular sense. I abruptly, lost it, the numbing sensation left me, I could feel again, I could feel it. It was trying to suffocate me. , of all the times I could regain all faculties it chose this utterly excruciating moment when breath was being denied of my reach.

  I was paralyzed to movement and some what unconscious, I couldn't do anything to stop it. Good alright, I was back in my body, but I felt my breath lessen as I moved bizarrely frantic, whether it was battling for conscious contact, or desperately trying to lessen the grisp or both I couldn't tell, not a heart beat later were my eyes finally opened and I touched reality again. I gasped out loud, almost jumping out of my bed. My eyes widened, sharpening my gaze ahead, running my cold fingers at ever corner of my face. I could feel again, I could see and when I gasped, I heard. I tried to catch my ruffling breath.

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  I glanced at my ceiling, calming myself, ' I thrilled myself in relief, it was all over, the fear was all gone, I was safe again. I breathed normally staring back down.

  I froze, instantly looking right at my sofa. They was someone there. They were sitted at the near edge of my sofa. I could hardly see them. But someone was there, the nudge between my brows narrowed, my skin got all clammy, suspending myself into turmoil, again. All the help had left. The only people who where home were I and Dad and the security guards outside, if I was counting them.

  "Dad?" I called, squinting my eyes to try and see.

  "What are you doing here? "I asked. My features skating into incredulous and a familiar feeling, creeping up my throat, fear.

  No response.

  "What's going on?" I asked again.

  They was no response. I tried looking closely, but miserably failed at that, the heavy thoughts still nudging at me in the most alarming manner of frightful wonder of whether that figure really was Dad. I grabbed the remote for my lights, and tried turning them on but wouldn't go on. It was though they were broken or we had some sort of power cut.

  "Damn it!" I muttered, quickly getting my phone from my nightstand, then turning on the flashlight.

  I turned it to were Dad was sitted.

  "Dad is that you?" I asked louder this time.

  The light made Dad seem really, really far now. I didn't understand. '' My flashlight randomly searched the room as I got up. Maybe he heard my deafening shrill and came to see me, then fell asleep on my sofa. His done that before, of course seven years ago. As I got closer, he seemed to get even further. I was almost there when I stopped. That wasn't Dad.

  ************

  THEY WAS NO one there. I begin to think of regard I was merely just hallucinating now, I was so sure I was in fact still dreaming. Still having that nightmare, my face, fear had started to creep back on it again.

  'My mind screamed.

  I touched my hair, my cold fingers rampaging through it like I was losing it, Everything felt confusing, I didn't understand. I losing it. My nightmare felt so disturbingly . So did this moment. I pushed my phone beside me as I inclined myself back on my bed. Utterly confused.

  Nothing felt real anymore, what was real and what wasn't? I felt like I couldn't tell the contrast anymore. I was seeing things that weren't really there, I felt things that weren't there. I tried to calm myself, this moment was real and I was just seeing things because I was traumatized by my stupid dream, I suddenly felt weary, just pondering all these bewildering thoughts left and right, as my eyes felt heavy, they began to fall until the were shut. How was it possible for me to find sleep again after that nightmare? This will be the question that forever haunts me because I can't find an answer to it.

  However, they immediately opened, disturbed by the new sound I was hearing, not my breathing this time, something else. I got up again. Turned on my flash light and searched the room with its light. The light only covered so much, that the sorts in my room perceived as of something unsightly, I got out of my bed and tried to listen to where the sounds were coming from. They seemed to be getting louder on left side of my room where my bathroom and closet were. I slowly approached the door, flashing the light toward it.

  I held the door, then slide it quietly, then poked my head with my flash light. The noise was still present, only gotten a little louder. I quietly got in the passage that led to my bathroom, I felt that was where the low boisterous noise was coming from. I held the knob, I could see my fingers trembling as I turned it. Surprisingly, the whispers seemed to get louder and more aggressive and so did my breathing.

  I opened it, right after my whole body jumped at the sound of my closet creak open at the down side of the passage. Hazily I turned. Staring like my eyes were about to rupture out of their sockets. I heard- I heard voices, not one but many, Quiet whispers gasp.

  ''He's here. . .''

  I stared in disbelief at the slight open door. My legs felt numb. I felt the blood slowly leave my face, pale with atmost shock. I was hearing things, None of it was real. This moment wasn't real. As if I had any courage left to go see what was in there, it had all been consumed by my prior fears. So I did what I thought was rationally safe, I slowly stepped back. Disbelievingly, the door slowly creaked more open, as if mirroring my actions.

  I didn't want to stay to see what was going to come out of that closet. My small steps turned into large ones, and I was out of there. I shut the door behind me. Found the lights on in my room. My eyes hurt from all the light that came from the ceiling, but I was pleased to see it. I took small breaths in to calm myself from what I had just seen and heard back there. My fear, it seemed to disappear, the light seemed to shake the fear away, and the surrealism began to seem less much of surreal.

  I shut my eyes, to a place where it didn't seem so crazy and confusing. A Place where I believe none of this was real they was nothing mythical that existed. And I convinced myself All of this was just my imagination having a sick turn on me, I opened my eyes and evoked up some courage and opened that door. Doing that helped to convince me I was infact right, they was No reason to be Afraid. The delusion was all in my head.

  The lights were on as well, from the passage to my bathroom to my. . . Closet. I sighed in relief. ' I thought climbing into my bed. But a part of me thought it be wiser to sleep with the lights on this time and I was willing to agree with that side. I threw my covers on and dozed off into sleep.

  The next morning, when I got up, memory of yesterday's event flooded my head. Only that the thoughts felt so light to recall, almost like none of it happened. It felt like a wild dream, that was caused due to the stress of school and myself being so overwhelmed with the pressure to get good at fence, gave me nightmares. That felt physical. Either that or something was definitely wrong with me, I was pretty confident that it was the second option. Something was wrong with me.

  I felt really detached with everything present. All I kept thinking about was, The Was. The what happened. I was completely abstracted, at school. All I wanted was to put it aside and be present. I sat in the cafeteria with all the guys and girls at the table I usually sat at. They raved on each about a different aspect. Some about reality shows; talk shows, others vacations; from sunny islands to winter ones, some about parties; Birthday invites, country club hang outs, others school issues; PTA meeting, science quiz, school play I could go on and on.

  The guy I sat next to couldn't stop going on and on about the basketball game coming up. North Hamalton against our school. I tried to pay as much as present attention as I could, to make sure I was away from all the bygone thoughts. I found myself staring at my lunch instead of processing it in, as much as I tried to stay in with the present, my thoughts seemed to get louder than everyone, draining me back to yesterday.

  It was like my mind was consumed by the entire thing. My mind constantly replaying everything, still debating on whether everything was real or not, I could always convince myself otherwise, make up a thousand reasons why that happened but at that moment, I felt hopeless, just dwelling on the past, than doing nothing to convince myself otherwise.

  It felt wrong and strange, to keep on releaving it all, I thought my mind needed new pictures, something to take the aching confusion away. My eyes wandered ahead at a table not so far away from mine.

  Were girls sitted, they were chatting. I noticed one of the six girls, was that Stefanie girl. She seemed to be in the dullest of moods, although to be fair I had never seen her in any sort of bright mood, she was listening to the girl next to her rumble on and on.

  At the end of their table was another girl. She seemed to be with them, just not actually with them. She looked like she was troubled, she didn't even seem like she was in on what ever they were rumbling about. Quiet and absent. Our feelings I thought resembled.

  Her head slowly rose and she looked, my way suddenly. Maybe because I was looking there or the sense of feeling that someone was looking at you or she just happened to look, I don't know. . . I got a glimpse of her which turned into a full stare.

  I was allured by her huge gorgeous eyes, that were the first to captivate my attention, a gentle golden brown and a glistening imperial serene green. Rolled up, with deep glossy dark brown hair that almost looked black, a wave of it cascaded down to a part of her long angular face, a deep shade of desert beige.

  She torn away from my gaze as she got up and left the table. This was my distraction, it was going to take me a few moments away from my craze thinking into something more different than my usual, I wasn't sure what I was doing exactly but I found myself walking out of the cafeteria into the locker hallway. I was sure that no one'd even notice I was gone. I Followed her, I noticed her turn left. By the time I got to the left I run into Tino. Nearly, slammed into him.

  ''Sorry.'' We both uttered.

  ''Hey. Hardly seen you today bud'.'' He said

  ''Really?'' I said, looking behind him.

  ''Yep. Set for this afternoon, or have you already forgotten about fence this afternoon?'' He asked.

  Amongst everything on my mind. How could I forget?

  ''Yeah, I'm ready. .'' I said, noticing the girl had stopped at a locker the furthest one, and she was opening it.

  ''I thought I'd show you my air head move, I call it that because of the turn I can flex with my neck.'' He said.

  ''Sounds good.'' I agreed with little attention. With my eyes still behind him.

  He must have noticed my mind and concerntration were behind him, because he squinted at me then looked back. Looked at the only person in the hallway apart from us. He turned back and saw me staring at her, he searched my face as his aligned with alot of worry.

  ''You don't wanna go there.''

  Were the only words he uttered.