FLAKES OF SNOW, fall down outside my window, the mid beginning of winter. It's a cold night, the first fire thats been lit in the hearth, I stare at the flames, blazing chunks of wood burning bit by bit. Consuming any bit left, it burns steadily. All of it reminded me of a time when I wanted my life to stay the same, same old patterns and routines: Mornings that feel blurry with Afternoons I barely remember and nights that hardly stand still no matter the season. Traveling from place to place, never really much making the place a home, always looking ahead, forgetting almost all the faces at each place whilst having conversations that seem momentary.

  Hobbies were plenty, the sites were remarkable, the people how I wish I remembered how they made me feel. Then again How is less important to why they seemed hard to forget. All the bygone experiences. I wish sometimes that I could only remember the good parts- the parts that make you smile when you're by yourself and even blush. But the worst ones are the ones I believe that gave me meaningful scars to which I'm proud to be still alive to smile back at the time I thought life was Hard to understand.

  And all the support- support I hang on to Now, I look back - back at everything; back at that, back to a treasured friend of mine who I'm sure I'll never see again. The words he told me that can't seem to escape my mind.

  'Always look at the finer things in life. And remember that all the best things in life are for free. .'

  I may or may not have understood its meaning by that time, for that I don't remember, and with time, everything fell just nicely for me to gradually understand. Even though, I didn't admit it, he brought me one might say a life time of Novelty. In many other instances, he'd always get me straight. He was hard on me; very hard but I thank him for being that way, although the way he remembers it, it was his way of being polite to me in a maniacal way.

  The Heat of this fire, reminded me of all of it; of how it all began An entire journey that feels like it only just happened yesterday.

  *********

  'I stared at the image staring back at me, as I flashed water at my face, and I stared back, my lights started their flickering episodes, I was beginning to adjust to them doing that, most of the time that happened, I firmly knew, that the Shadowers in my house were present, although, that's not actually true, I was told they were always present, around me even when I least expected, as if a field that grew around me, hiding itself to whatever shadow it could take up, they were a part of my day to day life.

  I washed my hands next, when I looked back in the mirror, my lights went off, leaving me in darkness. Casually, I dried my hands in the dark, I turned around, immediately I did they flickered back on and it was light again. Typical. I thought, I began to amble out of my bathroom, however, the door couldn't seem more close but yet so far, almost seeming to be out of my reach, getting closer felt like the door was moving further- the Neat trick of illusion, I knew it to be, they were trying to get in my head again, like the rest of the other times, I didn't stop, I continued to walk out. The first time I had ever seen a Shadower, was in the sunken gleam eye of my Sharemate, in her eye, I could see, just how they watched my every move, That time. The time before. The time after and Always.

  It felt like a long walk, I was taking, as I could see the door at the furthest end, so close but yet so far, the trick seemed to be deteriorating as my door got closer and closer to me. When I finally reached my door, my sink tap started running again, I turned, frazzledly sighing, I simply asked for one Night of peace- One Night.

  'Peace' I didn't think I could remember the last time I was in a serene state, my thin times of No worries had all been long gone to a place so far, that I had forgotten just how it felt. I got back to my tap, and shut it, immediately I did, my jacuzzi turned on, I walked to my jacuzzi to turn it off as well, just as I did, my shower sprang on next, my pulse never rose, I was perfectly calm, I walked over to it, slid the door open and turned it off, but again hazily my sink tap went off, instantaneously with my jacuzzi again, my shower joined their hay wire, so did my toilet; flash itself, my lights flickered again.

  My sink started gurgling, my lights made this sparking sound, the sound of a live wire been tempered with, I got out of my shower and peered at my sink then my lights, that was new. I looked at my lights, I was frazzled, I told myself I'd just leave things be and with time they'd nomalize themselves, the more I learnt about the Shadowers, the more I got to learn of how they riddled in your head; fixing things that weren't really there infront of you, causing you to think of problems that aren't really there, they was more to what I learnt about them. Apart from them playing in your head, they had a sort of duration; something you needed to take alot of Focus at, how long they stayed in your Head.

  The longer, they stayed the more distance- detatched you feel with the present, you'd lose more of yourself than you ever knew to have, you'd get the feeling of being an echo. A drifting moment completely out of reach. They were all sorts of them, different from the other, but One similarity they all possessed was 'Memory walking'.

  The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

  My memories, were No longer mine alone; no longer a hidden part of my past or an exuberant maintenance of still time and manipulation or a simple evergreen tree. They were thrusted back into my present. Were taken. Played and used by them. For the Shadower wasn't Mine, but it became mine, like a close deep part of every breath I took, 'The Shadower Of My Past' it took up that title without me even knowing.

  My head turned rigid, I failed to move my head, to push it down away from my bright lights- my lights that appeared to be spinning, my eyes were the only feature that could move, I moved them down glancing around, I realized it wasn't my lights spinning it was my whole bathroom, round and round. My merry~ go~ round went, going round my running gurgling sink, my flashing toilet, my running on jacuzzi, my hailing shower, my door then round and round them again and again.

  All of it made me dizzy and nauseousated. It made me fail to keep my balance, I felt sick to my stomach as my legs felt weary and they wobbled, I crunched down to the floor holding my head which agreed with me finally moving down. They had managed to get in my head again, I presumed. The strain I felt, my head suffered a blow of excruciating pain, and it ached- God, it ached. The headache of a painful migraine.

  My bathroom wouldn't stop spinning. I shut my eyes and all I saw was a flash of a clear image of myself looking in the eye of my Sharemate, staring at it watch me at Mom's painting room hallway, my eyes batedly open, refusing to acknowledge it- them it referred to itself, they wanted me to.

  I clutched my chest, it tightened, my breath seemed to escape me I couldn't breath anymore, I gasped for air. Suffocation. One of their prominence. I failed. I couldn't stay calm anymore, my vision was all groggy, my eyes failing to focus, now blurring up the objects that revolved around me, looking bleary though they were moving so fast, that they seemed just like glazed lights. My head felt heavy, they were leading me to a point were I just couldn't anymore. They brought me to a point, in which I was pleading for all of it to be all over. Snap. Shut my eyes and feel the light air take me in, that felt better than facing another second of this plague. The palatity of knowing Nothing more of this.

  'You can't let them'

  Came in telling me, so faint and distant, it's quietness, made it seem like the only thing comforting, wielding me to not let them consume me. My perfect end, which I had constantly fantasized a million times, passed this flickering moment was the commence of their beginning, I'd belong to them, a part of their deranged cause, it was a way for them to taste life.

  The was a sudden change of reoccurrence, that made me halt for short seconds. My ears heard something new to the chaos, the sounds of rumbling whispers, that filled my bathroom, who and where they came from, I wasn't sure.

  I turned at my sides to hear where the sounds were coming from. Thin arced Dark shadows arose from the bottom of the walls surounding me climbing up to the ceiling, rising about like the sun; in the breaking of a new day. I could hear them around me, as their thick darkness got closer, having me in the center, as they lurked by seeming like they wanted to swallow me in their devoid of light.

  I stilled. Having my vision almost gone, with what I had left I focused my edgy gaze at them, with the sounds getting even louder, were they in my verge of the brick head or were they really actual. I was clueless. They hissed out whispers.

  I made a reference of how they could hear me speak without me ever uttering a single word- listen to my thoughts and know exactly what to do after.

  I had broken down into a cold sweat, just processing everything that was happening. Faltering, I tried to force my throbbing head to listen, to their hissing incoherent words, I felt a tense wave by me, moving so slow and quiet, it made their rumble, feel like they were now drawling. Yes, slowly that they began to form Words- words I could finally hear, the words sounded like some Odd repeatation they kept saying- Something like a Chant that they continuously echoed in every corner of my bathroom, Inside every deep muscle of my head.

  In their soft hissing. They Chanted:

  'The Chest of the Wraith

  Remains the same

  Only one will know the middle

  Curse

  The Abyss of shadows

  It lies

  In Dark Dawn

  Only One will know the depth of

  Heith. . .'

  I felt a cold shiver go down my spine making it go rigid, hearing their chant surround me, it made my breathing worsen, I tried to block my ears to avoid hearing them, but when I did that it only seemed to make it louder. Nothing of it felt right- it wasn't right, I had to unleash myself from whatever they were drawing me at.

  Without any hesitations.

  I began to force myself to get out of there, Unfortunately, I couldn't move, my whole world felt like it was slipping, from side to side, drawing me back, every time, I made an attempt to get up, I'd fall right back down to the floor, crawling was even more worse, it only seemed to stiffen my legs. I tried motioning my mouth to speak, but it refused to, I was muted, the only sounds I could make were groaning sounds. And so, I groaned as loud as I could with everything I had left in me, to make it aware that I needed help, but it just felt like I was trapped in this state and No one could hear me.

  The feeling of all of it panged me. No one was coming, No one would come, I was stuck and I didn't know how to help myself, everything seemed to get worse every second, every time I shut my eyes all I saw was the same image of it- Me- Both of us watching the other.

  The darkness of the shadows; the ones I believed belonged to the whispers, had filled my entire bathroom, killed my ceiling lights and made it's way to me. I opened my eyes as I felt a light tap on my shoulder, I hazily turned, was it all over, did someone actually come, did any of it work, if I was perhaps saved.

  but

  No one was there, it was still all happening, right before me.

  I heard tearing sounds suddenly, and it almost made me wince, my squinting bleary eyes looked around then stopped, acknowledging that the sounds were coming from my right sleeve down at my wrist began to split open, right in the middle, into two sides, revealing my flesh, all the way up to my shoulder.

  I got a hold of my arm, and fought with the force, grisping it as tight as I could as I cuddled up, fear jarred in my gut, hearing the hisses get louder and the Chant get stronger. Precipitously, my arm by itself abrupted out of my grisp, and stretched out sharply infront of me, I tried moving it but it wouldn't budge, it seemed to have acquired a mind of it's own, my other hand held it trying to force it to bend but it was instantly pushed away to the other side, I looked at my arm as it quivered, it did so for half a minute until, it just stopped.

  I felt the light touch of Nails- Long thin sharp edged nails tickling my arm, wrist to shoulder then back down, as a firm grip siezed on my wrist.

  I felt like it was ultimately over. I had been swallowed into the darkness.'

  Do you feel connected to the narrator in the first chapter?