The days had become much more pleasant since Demoa had started living at the Monastery. After a while, she no longer even knew how long she had been staying in the small room whose walls she had covered with tree bark and whose floor she had covered with pleasantly fluffy moss. Her furniture looked simple but cozy, and every time Demoa entered the room, she felt a small thrill of happiness at the thought of lying down on her bed to rest in meditation, especially when she had spent a long time dancing with the plainhoppers beforehand.

  By now, she was able to create glowing spheres that could spread her inner calm in a circle around her, even imprint invisible wafts of fragrance combined with her soothing intentions. It was surprising how much progress she made, yet she knew her control over her Lucidity was far quicker than that of those around her. Sometimes she wondered if she was even better at channeling it than Ray, even though her power was nothing compared to her friends’. Also, Demoa no longer felt nearly as drained when she used the images and feelings of the meadow inside herself, which had now become as much a home for her mind as the Monastery had for her body. It replenished her energy quickly and often allowed Demoa to dance through the night, the line between her mind and Lucidity feeling so thin that she sometimes forgot where one ended and the other began. The plainhoppers often joined in.

  During the day, she enjoyed the company of the other students as well as that of the monks and scholars quite a lot. It was pleasant to not worry about the dark or the wrath of other men, as with the exception of that one evening way back when they had joined the premises, nothing had ever dared to enter Stirleo’s domain. That attack felt distant now, even though others still spoke of it with complete clarity. That fateful event had marked many of the others, though she herself remained quite untouched by it. After all, both body and mind had safe places now. Fortunately this meant she could also care for some of the others that had not drawn such a good lot, especially Ormir who frequently was brought to her by Ray after another astral travel had led her astray. The Empty Man she spoke of sounded terrifying, though in the end he was just as vulnerable as the other Nightmares had been. Additionally, calming Ormir and caring for her when her heart sank once more had made Demoa feel fulfilled.

  “Ormir, is it bad that I enjoy your company down here? Even though the reason is so dark? So horrifying?” she once asked as both of them sat by the lake at the bottom of the valley looking at the little animals darting across its surface.

  “No, Demoa. I enjoy it too. It keeps the darkness away, you know? Knowing I can always get back to you? And we can just sit here and talk, the smell of your Lucidity in the air… Sometimes I wished it could always be like this. But I know we have to prepare. We have to fight those monsters down the line, I think? Though when I am with you, even that seems unimportant. I just want to dance with you, here amongst the plainhoppers and glitterflies.”

  A small chuckle escaped Demoa’s lips and she could not stop a wide smile as she looked at Ormir.

  “Well, why don’t we dance, then? It will be fun to have some company…”

  “I do not know how.”

  “How to dance? Just do what I do!”

  With that, Demoa jumped on her feet and started moving, filling her being with the ideas of peace that emerged from the meadow in her heart. She did not expect Ormir to join in, but to her surprise she faintly noticed her dancing as well, trying to imitate her movements, her laughter even reaching her inner bonfire. From that moment on, it was as if Ormir was there with her as well, dancing either near the flames when they were together or away when they were not.

  Suddenly, Demoa’s limbs felt heavier as she realized that she longed for Rad to join her inner world too, but she still had not managed to form a connection to him. She kept wondering why, because usually, if her mind and Lucidity accepted someone, even a faint glow appeared in the meadow inside her. Yet with Rad there was only silence.

  Why have I closed myself off to him so much? Without even wanting it? Demoa often pondered.

  Still, she danced on and on, and the feeling faded slowly, even though she realized it would rear its ugly head once more in the future.

  When Ormir left one day, Demoa danced especially long with the plainhoppers to calm herself, though Ormir’s presence on the meadow inside her waned and she soon felt only a faint presence. She had been told by the Scholars that this fade-out was normal when someone went far away; still, the lingering sense of distance stung more than she expected. A veil of dullness hung around her that lasted for several days, which earned her a rare comment from Nobea.

  “Quite weird to not see you with all-glowing eyes and whirling around down there. Not that I care, of course!”

  Demoa did her best to ignore her. The Disciple’s arrogance irked her and she tried her best to stay away from the terrible mood Nobea dragged with her. Each time they met, Demoa felt judged, and even when they did not meet but she was alone, she imagined Nobea’s eyes scanning her from somewhere close by, correcting her movements or ridiculing her dances with that snarky attitude of hers. Those moments managed to draw some giggles from her and she once more was glad that she had already found most of the things she was looking for. In the end, Demoa pitied Nobea and was glad that she did not have such spiritual problems.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

  One day, Lance also left. Ormir was now just a distant blurry shape in her mind, twisting to unknown music in the distance, and once more Demoa felt change she did not want.

  It is such a pity that those things are attacking us. Perhaps I am a bit selfish, thinking just of the happiness we… I have here, but I think everyone has the right to just sit and rest for a while. Calm down. I will leave one day as well, but not yet. Not yet… Demoa sometimes thought to herself.

  Time had flown by so quickly, Demoa realized once more, and watching the Sun and the moon change uncountable times made her become even more aware that she had already been here for a very, very long time. But Demoa didn’t mind; she liked it at the Monastery.

  Not yet…

  I just love the way things are…

  Almost everything…

  There was almost nothing she would have wished to be different from going down every day to the plainhoppers and the animals by the pond, playing with them and feeding them, giving herself completely over to the idyll, and later eating with new friends, having fun, and listening to their thoughts.

  Ray of course always kept talking about going out to hunt Nightmares, and about Dio as well, whom Demoa only vaguely remembered by now. Nevertheless, every time Ray spoke of the young man whom Demoa had also briefly met back at the stream, at the place of their arrival, a sharp pang went through her chest. It reminded her of that one thing that wasn’t perfect.

  Something she longed for.

  More time with Rad, oh, how I would love that!

  He was often nearby in the evenings, visiting her again and again, yet somehow he still felt distant. His warm smile, his attractive, well-toned body, his concern for her… all of that should have carried her off to distant layers of sweet happiness that would have overshadowed even the inner joy and peace she felt when dancing.

  But… even though he was there, he still felt far away, the absence of his presence growing more painful with each day. He had not joined the bonfire in her soul like others now had. Demoa wished so badly that she could always feel his warmth, the warmth of his body touching her skin and his words calming her.

  Yet in the back of her mind, there were only Ray and some other Disciples as well as Ormir in the distance.

  Rad wasn’t there at all.

  Demoa had to content herself with the gentle kisses and touches with which he spoiled her in the evenings, when everyone else was somewhere else cultivating or resting.

  One night, when he stepped out from behind the bushes again, she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

  “Hey, Rad… Do you think… there’s a connection between us?”

  Rad looked at her in surprise and then gave a sly grin.

  “Of course there is, what kind of question is that?”

  Then he suddenly stopped short and, for the first time since they had met, looked uncomfortable.

  “Demoa… don’t you feel it?” he asked quietly.

  She swallowed hard, feeling a heaviness press down on her soul. Trembling, she closed her eyes. There was Ray, nearby, radiantly warm. There was Lance, also somewhat close but weaker. There were Ladec and Bime, who she had met during plantation duty and a few others. And there was Ormir, far away and barely perceptible.

  Nothing else.

  “I… no…” she admitted, and suddenly she felt tears welling up inside her.

  Rad hesitated, his face lined with hurt, then slowly moved closer and finally wrapped his arms around her. Not even her Lucidity could give her such emotions: She was safe, protected, cared for. Demoa wanted him to stay with her like this forever.

  “Do you feel me now? My real warmth? When I’m this close to you?” he asked gently.

  “Yes…” Demoa sobbed.

  “Good. Even if you’re not ready yet to form a different kind of bond, you’ll still have the memories of this moment. So, take your time. Don’t stress yourself. We have eternity here… Do not worry, my love,” Rad whispered in her ear and stroked her cheek tenderly.

  She got lost in his warm breath at her ear and his firm embrace, which offered her refuge. It was a different kind of refuge than the one she radiated and internalized in her dances, but it still felt good. Thankfully, she gave him a kiss, her lips brushing lightly against his, before they both embraced their love and got lost in the sensations of their touch for a while. After what felt like an eternity of bliss, Demoa slowly withdrew herself a bit and looked into his beautiful dark eyes.

  “Thank you, Rad! I promise I’ll try! I won’t keep standing in our way! Maybe, we could just leave tomorrow, just the two of us…?”

  The two of us, alone near a small meadow with no worries at all…

  “But you need to finish your preparations here! So you can destroy Nightmares if it ever comes to that…” Rad reminded her, and the softness in his voice hardened so suddenly that Demoa felt as if the whole scene had shifted beneath her.

  She opened her eyes and looked at his face. His features had grown harder.

  “We… Rad, I know we’ve talked about this a lot, but… do you think I’m even suited for it? I… I bring peace, calm, and a sense of safety through my Lucidity. I don’t want to destroy, don’t want to fight. I just want… to be somewhere with you where everything is wonderful… where we can live without worries… where I can take care of the creatures around us and enjoy their joy when I’m with them… Oh, Rad, you know what I mean…”

  He nodded and looked thoughtfully over at the plainhoppers, who were slowly slipping into the nearby bushes.

  “Yeah, that would be incredibly beautiful. But I’ve seen the Nightmares out there. Their numbers slowly grow. Even if I only spotted them from a distance, they were… malicious. Horrible. Reeked of hate and worse. If one of them crossed our path, that would be the end of us. At least without preparation. I can’t do anything without Lucidity, without the Light… Why don’t you talk to Ray? She’s obsessed with using her powers to hunt those creatures down… I’m sure she can still teach you a lot…” he added hesitantly and glanced up at the building where Ray was probably cultivating at that moment.

  “I… but… yeah, maybe…” Demoa said, thinking it over.

  She hated how easily joy could collapse under looming duty. One word about Nightmares was enough to tear down the peaceful world she built in her wishful thinking.

  She hugged Rad and gave him another kiss.

  “Shall we sit under that tree over there? At least enjoy this evening together?” Demoa asked hopefully, looking at a gnarled drave near the edge of the nearby forest whose purple, wavy leaves in the evening Sun looked like a glowing, flowing tent.

  “I’d love to, but Sars and Olver and a few others heard rumors about a Nightmare wandering around near our settlement. We want to make sure there’s nothing to it…” Rad said gloomily, rolling his shoulders with visible discomfort.

  “I see…” Demoa whispered.