It was mid-October, and during the lunch hour I was seated at my table at the entrance of the cafeteria. It was homecoming week, and I was selling “Spirit Links” to raise money for a fundraiser. The idea was that for a mere quarter you could buy a colored paper ring and attach it to the growing chain that was decorating the main commons. I remembered walking past tables such as mine in Matthew’s timeline, where he would scoff at the preppy kids who were active at school functions. Yet here I was as Maya, watching as the slackers scoffed at me.

  Only a minority of the students were like that though, and regularly kids would come and throw down a dollar or two to get their rings. It helped that students were willing to approach pretty girls like me and Sarah who were manning the tables. Upon becoming freshman treasurer a few weeks ago, I had immediately enlisted Sarah onto the homecoming committee, knowing how dedicated she would be. We hadn’t been friends prior to that, but after my election victory I reached out to her to offer her a position, which she happily accepted.

  Sarah had been quite a boon, clearly demonstrating her drive and her willingness to work. We were cut from the same cloth; two model students who were quite driven. We made a particularly good team. She was very good at waving down students to come to the table, and I diligently recorded the profits and collected the cash. As I counted the quarters and tallied them in my notebook, I couldn’t help but be amused.

  While I may have been a mild-mannered high school student, I was also the secret owner of a growing stock portfolio. As I glued paper links together, I was thinking about my latest acquisition of thousands of shares of a company called Iomega which I got for a song. I had to move around a bit of my cash to make it happen, but I knew it would pay off next year. It was ironic that here I was managing $50 in quarters, yet I could easily write a check and pay for the entire homecoming dance.

  That, however, would be a very bad idea. I knew I needed to keep my secret life as a teenage investor with a preternatural knowledge of the future separate from my life as a teenage cheerleader. It was amusing playing this double life, and it really took the edge off of having to relive high school all over again. It was hard work, but at least it was interesting!

  All week the members of the freshman squad were expected to help decorate for homecoming week, and as a student officer I was expected to work double. This would have been an anathema to Matthew, who shuffled through high school not wanting to make waves in his timeline. As Maya though, I had happily helped paint banners and blew up balloons with Erin and the rest of the squad. It would all cumulate in the pep rally on Friday morning.

  Most students, as Matthew had in his timeline, were herded into the gymnasium before classes to be the audience for the pep rally. Ostensibly, it was for the so-called popular kids, meaning the football players, as Northview High School’s football program was quite robust. I, however, did not have the option of sleeping through the rally. I was there in my cheerleading outfit early in the morning, expected to support the varsity cheerleaders.

  I suppose it was a bit tribal, as I sat with Erin and the rest of our squad in the bleachers decked out in our skirts. I was warming up to the idea of having school spirit, likely a result of peer pressure. It was much more fun than the lazy cynicism I had had in Matthew’s timeline. It was hard to not think of myself as an undercover observer to the whole event. Regardless, I made sure to applaud as loud as everyone else when the varsity cheerleaders did their routine. I mused to myself that at this rate, I’d be one of the performers in a year or two.

  Across the gym on the opposite bleachers, I looked over to the freshman football team, who were similarly dressed in their football uniforms. I saw Jake with his football buddies, and our eyes met briefly. I gave him a short wave, and he smiled back. Both of us were not as into the whole football/cheerleading scene as everyone else in our circle, but that’s why we made a good combo. We were able to treat it with a bit more detachment than everyone else on our respective squads.

  After the JV and Varsity cheerleaders did their performances, the coaches and principal did their speeches about school spirit and tonight’s homecoming game. I wanted them to win, but my mind was on the homecoming dance tomorrow night. It was tough for freshmen to get tickets, since they were snatched up by the upper classmen, but since I was in student government I was able to get a bunch of them before they went on sale. Obviously I was going with Jake, but I got a couple extra for Erin and Jake’s cousin Pete. I wasn’t thrilled about Pete coming with us, but oddly enough Erin was into him and I didn’t kick up a fuss. I’m sure Erin would see very quickly how much of a dolt Pete was.

  The rest of the day was spent gearing up for the game in the evening, and admittedly it felt strange putting my school spirit on display during school hours in my uniform. It was cute how Jake and I matched, but I couldn’t help notice how students like in the computer club were put off by all of the festivities. That had been Matthew in his timeline. Heck, Matthew had never even been to any of the school dances, yet here was Maya actively promoting it and who was planning to actually attend the game tonight with all of the other members of the squad. It still boggled my mind how different life was as a girl.

  Saturday was the homecoming dance, and Erin and I planned to get ready together before Dad dropped us off at the school. We would just meet Jake and Pete there after their respective parents dropped them off. Erin brought her bundled dress with her to my house, where we spent the late afternoon in our pajamas dolling ourselves up. Mom let me buy makeup weeks ago, and Erin and I carefully applied it to our faces. I didn’t use much; a little powder, a little blush, and a little mascara paired with some eyeliner. I had been practicing for some time, and it went on pretty quickly. It didn’t keep me from fiddling with it, though.

  “Oh my god, Maya,” said Erin as she took her turn at my vanity. “I can’t believe we’re finally going to a high school dance! Aren’t you just totally excited?”

  “Hm? Oh, yeah, it should be interesting,” I replied, as I was puckering to apply my rose lipstick.

  Erin rolled her eyes. “You’re always so serious, Maya! It’s like you’re seeing this as a scientific experiment or something. Get excited!”

  I smacked my lips together. “Well, I’ve never been to a dance before, so I don’t even know if it will – oh my god,” I suddenly realized, “I’ve never been to a dance! I don’t even know how to dance!”

  Erin turned her head to me. “I thought you knew how. I mean, you learned pretty quick in our dance class once you loosened up.”

  “Well, that was solo dancing. I never had dancing lessons for a couple!”

  Matthew had of course been to several events in the course of his life where there was formal dancing, including his own wedding. He wasn’t bad or anything, but it was a skill he devoted very little of his time to compared to technology and random trivia. I had never even considered partner dancing, and despite all of the homecoming dance fundraising it had slipped my mind with everything else going on in my life.

  Erin stood up and approached me, her makeup half finished. “Don’t worry, I can show you a little. Okay, so first hold me.”

  “Okay.”

  Erin stood in front of me, and I rested my hands on her hips. “No, Maya, you have to hold my shoulders. The boys put their hands on our hips because they’re leading.”

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  I cringed a little. “Right. I’m the girl.” I placed my hands on Erin’s shoulders and she placed them on my hips. It was a little odd, mostly because I was a couple of inches taller than her.

  “Okay, so basically the boy will sort of guide you,” Erin said as she started swaying gently. “You just have to go where he nudges you, and make sure not to step on his feet. You have to walk backward when he steps forward, or when he turns you.”

  I nodded, trying to follow where Erin was leading. Matthew’s memories flashed in my head, where he was holding his wife’s waist and gently leading her on a dance floor. It was a lot harder to be led, and I kept trying to take the lead from Erin. It felt unusual resting my arms on her shoulders since she was shorter than me, but I sort of pulled her in closer until we were lightly pressed against each other.

  “There you go,” Erin said gently. “Just relax and go with it. And stop trying to lead.”

  I will admit that I liked dancing with Erin. There was a corner of my brain that enjoyed having a girl close to me like this, and I already felt that sort of intimacy with Erin because we were such good friends. I also liked just how soft and gentle she was, and how I was trying to be gentle back since she was leading. At a certain point, our eyes met as we held each other, and we shared a smile.

  “See, you’ve got this, Maya!”

  I gave her a tight hug, savoring the moment with my best friend. “Hopefully Jake is as good of a leader as you are,” I whispered into her hair.

  “Probably not. Most boys have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to dancing.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I replied as we broke apart. “Alright, let’s finish the other side of your face.”

  By six-thirty we were ready to go; Erin in her white dress and I in a dark blue dress that I had picked out with Mom. They weren't super formal, but it was the most shoulder and cleavage that I had ever had exposed while wearing a dress. I also had a pair of two-inch heels, which was fairly new to me. They weren’t stems, so they weren’t too hard to walk in. The two of us went upstairs where Mom fussed over both of us, and my sister Janie stood in wonder. At six she was very much in awe of her older sister. To Tim’s credit, he didn’t snicker at all; either he was growing up, or really didn’t think twice about any girlish stuff. Most likely he was indifferent.

  After posing for a handful of pictures, we loaded into the car with Dad and headed to Northview High. There was a trail of cars that were dropping off students at the school, and when Dad pulled into the entrance Erin and I hooked elbows and headed inside. We waited by our lockers, doing last-minute fixes to our hair and makeup, until Jake and Pete met with us. They were both wearing ties, but not with the full jacket. They may have looked like dorky freshmen, but at least it was endearing.

  “Hey, Maya,” greeted Jake with a kiss on my cheek. “You look fantastic!”

  I blushed. “Thanks, Jake. You look nice too.”

  “Well,” said Pete with his arm casually over Erin’s shoulders, “let’s head to the dance floor!”

  Homecoming was held in the cafeteria, which had been transformed into a ballroom. Everyone was milling about and socializing while the music piped in through the speakers. Jake led me by the hand through the crowd with Pete and Erin trailing. We said hello to a few of the other students we recognized, and of course us girls threw compliments at each other about how hot we looked.

  Gradually the music started picking up, and students started wandering over to the dance floor. It was pretty peppy and fast, so Jake and I shook our booties to the beat. Erin and Pete were shaking loose close to us. I definitely got lost in the music, and I was having a blast. As the night wore on, the music started getting slower. Jake and I looked at each other shyly, and he approached me. Of course, my brain was on autopilot because I placed my hands on his hips.

  “Uh, hold on,” chided Jake, and I cursed myself as we shuffled our hands awkwardly. I nervously placed my hands on his shoulders as he placed his on my hips. This felt a lot more natural than it had with Erin, and I think it was because Jake was bigger than I was as well as stronger. It was nice holding Erin this afternoon – familiar, and softer – but being held by Jake like this was nothing like I expected.

  Jake wasn’t a great dancer, but he was very firm and it was easy to follow him. It was wild looking up at him as he held me, moving slowly together to the music. He looked down at me, and I couldn’t help biting my lip nervously as we danced. I don’t know how long we danced, but I didn’t care as we swayed in the sea of students in the dark. At a certain point I pulled him close, his arms wrapped around me and my head contentedly against his chest.

  When one of the songs ended, I gazed up at him, and saw a nervous smile on his face. My heart started beating as he slowly bent his head towards mine. The voice in the back of my head shouted at me to stop, but I was too gone in the moment and I raised my head towards him. Before I knew it, our lips met into a kiss.

  My thoughts scattered as my lips pressed against him, and I felt his arms tighten around me. The kiss didn’t last more than a few seconds, but those seconds felt like an eternity. A blissful eternity. When we broke our kiss, immediately I felt regret. No, no, I shouldn’t have done that! I screamed at myself. It felt so good, but I was overcome with guilt. Jake must have seen my face, because he wore a puzzled expression. I didn’t meet his eyes, but I instead buried my face in his chest while he continued to hold me.

  It was a few minutes where we just held each other, until Jake eventually whispered, “Do you want to go sit down?”

  I nodded, and he led me away to an empty table. He pulled a chair out for me before sitting down himself.

  “Are you okay, Maya?” he asked, softly.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him. “It was…just a lot.”

  “I’m sorry if it was too much. I shouldn’t have done that; it felt wrong.”

  I turned to face him. “It…was my first kiss.” It was sort of true. My childlike kiss with Randy didn’t count, and all of Matthew’s kisses for his entire life definitely didn’t count. This was the first time as Maya that I did because of how I felt in the moment.

  “It was mine, too,” said Jake dumbly. “I guess I don’t know how it should feel.”

  I smiled weakly at him. “I guess we’re just a couple of doofuses.”

  Jake chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  We sat together for a while, holding hands and just enjoying the company. I tried to squash the guilt I felt, and succeeded to a small degree, but there was still a residual twist in my guts. Jake though, seemed lost in thought as he held my hand. The clock approached ten, which was when Dad was coming to pick us up, so Jake and I went to track down Erin. We eventually found her sitting with Pete across the room, where he was busy bragging about something to a couple of other guys. Erin lit up when she saw us and dislodged from him in a heartbeat.

  Jake walked us out to Dad’s car, and I gave him a hug. We agreed to call each other tomorrow, like we usually did, and I got into the back seat with Erin. It wasn’t a long trip to my house, and by the time we made it back into my room we were on our last legs. Erin had already made plans to spend the night, and as soon as we washed off our makeup and changed into our pajamas, we crashed into my bed and Erin was out like a light.

  I stayed awake longer, staring up at my ceiling and listening to Erin’s gentle snoring. The guilt wasn’t eating me alive like it had before; perhaps it was becoming less and less potent as time wore on. The only one who thought anything amiss about how I felt about myself was myself, and that alone usually made me feel worse. It was a struggle consolidating my thoughts with my body, and I just hoped that Jake still wanted to be with me, even though I knew that a kiss like that couldn’t happen again and being with him only made it more difficult to resist.

  Next to me, Erin shifted and I felt her arm go across my stomach. I sighed, resting my hand on hers as she snuggled close to me. It would feel better in the morning, I told myself. I had a lot of things to do, and I had to stop beating myself up for feeling the way I felt. With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.