“Do any of you know this language?” I asked the gathering while Hythsaa traced the newest scar on my arm with a gentle claw tip. I gave her an awkward grin. Neat. She thought scars were cool. I didn’t need a translator to figure that one out.

  My gaze swept over my party and the few locals lounging comfortably nearby, small tables stacked with refreshments beside them. Frag slowly raised a hand.

  “Buddy,” I sighed, relieved. “Frag, help me out, here?”

  He nodded with grave solemnity and slowly and rose, crossed over and dropped to a knee to be eye-level with us. How considerate. Also, weirdly dramatic. Very Frag.

  “She says you’re very warm and looks forward to sleeping with you,” Frag said.

  I cleared my throat, smile twitching at the same pace as my eye. “How sweet. Um, can you ask her why she wants, um, me?”

  Frag gurgled and rasped, and Hythsaa responded, her hands getting handsier as she spoke. I gently caught the roaming one and held it still, smile locked in place like a stuck UI animation. Frag’s gaze shifted from the Queen to me.

  “You are a powerful, brave warrior. She has always respected the orc tribes and have good relations with the Bloodtusks in Lacunae. She thinks you are unusually attractive for an orc,” he explained.

  Akilah and Glasses burst out laughing. Akilah covered her mouth and shook her head. Glasses didn’t. Zeke, who’d skittered closer to Glasses, waved his antennae, a chittering giggle emerging. Elora threw up her hands. Jake crossed his arms, scowling.

  “Frag, don’t relay this, but what would happen if I just told her that I didn’t want to marry her?” I asked, catching her other webbed hand when it started stroking my thigh.

  “Grave offense is 98% likely,” Frag replied.

  I turned my attention to my HUD to check what stats I could see. With her HP alone, Queen Hythsaa could crush me with one hand tied to her tail. No surprise—a district lord was never weak. Judging by the ones I’d met already, a player had to be formidable: stronger, smarter, and tougher than anyone else in their territory.

  The other reptilians in the room? They could give me a good run. I might survive a fight with most of them. Maybe. I couldn’t fight my way out of this and risk anyone else in my party being hurt.

  That flattery was just to stroke my ego. What did she really want from me?

  “I have to stall this thing,” I murmured. “Do these people have strong family values? Would it matter if my family said no?”

  Frag’s eyes went unfocused, distant. “It could,” he said, as if he was reading something.

  I should have checked my aspect screen for notes, but I didn’t remember much from the tutorials on the different Convergent City customs. Maybe Frag logged new info in his notes. I should have done the same, but I relied on my memory. Typical me.

  “I’m not a Bloodtusk. I’m Salt Spear, and I need permission from my family to marry,” I ad-libbed. I didn’t want to offend her or her people, or risk something lame like a death sentence for backing out.

  My smile and nod strategy failed me this time.

  Frag translated, and Hythsaa paused mid-snuggle to answer, her hands clasped in both of mine. We must have looked adorable together. I felt a surge of nausea twist my gut.

  “Your feral bravery is what she desires. You will bring your elders to her to discuss the arrangement. It must be done by the next full tide, during the Tidesong.”

  “Tidesong? Bud, I can’t sing. I’ll disgrace her,” I protested, hoping that would be enough.

  Frag relayed my words. Hythsaa wiggled a hand free to lovingly stroke my Adam’s apple. I barely kept from gagging. She burbled something, and Frag shared it.

  This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  “Such a beautiful voice as yours could not disappoint her,” Frag said with all the emotion of a potato.

  My brows shot up. Elora giggled, both hands over her mouth, eyes bulging with the effort of containing it. Jake snorted, a grin tugging as he shook his head. Akilah smirked. They’d heard the atrocity that was my singing voice.

  “She is too kind,” I mumbled, then patted her hand. “Frag, tell her we have some unresolved tasks to take care of, and I have to go talk to Old Fang about this… uh. Situation.”

  Frag nodded, then relayed my words. Hythsaa listened, then grabbed my chin with a ferocity that freaked me out. Her eyes locked on me, and she leaned her forehead to mine. It felt terrifyingly intimate. For the first time I felt like a massive jerk for being so unaware—and kind of a callous ass. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but maybe she did. Which was sad. Because she picked me.

  I held still until she pulled back, stroking my shoulder. She hissed a word I didn’t need translated. I could go.

  A System Alert popped up on my HUD. [7 Days, Tidesong. Complete Task: Marry the Queen of Shardshore.]

  I closed my eyes but couldn’t shut out the message. The freaking System was tracking this? That was some kind of bullshit, right there. I forced a smile at my new ‘lover’ and eased to my feet. Glancing at the others, I sighed, “Let’s go.”

  I shouldn’t have, but I glanced over my shoulder as I stepped out the entrance. Hythsaa waved. I wiggled my fingers back at her and stepped out into the smooth air of the seashore night.

  “You dawg,” Jake chuckled, elbowing me.

  “Oh my god, dude, shut up,” I grumbled, kicking at sand. “It coulda been you, if she’d been into horns.”

  “Or you, Giggles,” I pointed at Zeke.

  “Do you have a plan? Maybe Lord Ashwynn can do something,” Elora said, striding along beside Akilah.

  “I’m not turning to Ashwynn for this. I’m hoping I can get Old Fang to agree to pose as my grandfather and tell her no, and call it a day. I have seven days. I intend to finish the job Ashwynn gave me, frivolous as it is, and give her time to cool on this idea.”

  “Huh? What job?” Glasses asked, and I glanced at him.

  “The laughter of the dead in a crystal goblet,” I grumbled. Ashwynn’d made it up on the fly. I was sure of it. Probably to see how I solved it. It was solvable. I already knew how I wanted to do it.

  “Meanwhile, we can do bounties or work on getting Akilah’s workshop set up and running,” I added.

  “I want to do that!” Fig said suddenly, bounding up to grab Jake’s hand.

  Jake grinned and nodded. “I kinda want to do that, too. You said you knew a place?”

  “I do,” Fig said brightly.

  It still weirded me out that she could flip from lifeless to bubbly in a snap. Frag, at least, stayed chill. Fig? Unpredictable.

  “Before we do that, Fig, I need your help,” I said, hating that I even needed help for the task.

  She pulled her adoring gaze from Jake to look at me. “What do you need?”

  “Can you be funny? I need to make dead people laugh,” I explained, brushing through a patch of grass that drooped into the sandy path.

  “Possibly,” Fig replied. “I’d need to know more about them, first.”

  “The specters on Shade Hill. I gotta make them laugh and record it.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” Fig said, swinging Jake’s hand in hers.

  That relationship. Watching it felt like seeing the start of a train wreck in progress, but I kept my mouth shut. Who was I to talk when I’d somehow gotten myself engaged? I was a disaster.

  I just needed to stay on my grind. Build skills. Build strength. Leave the city, challenge the System, big question marks, and success. The bullet points of my plan were clear enough, the only things that felt solid when everything else got confusing.

  “Let’s go home,” I said.

  The path widened to an actual road, splitting off in two directions. One way went to Lacunae, the other went to Heartland Park. Glasses and Zeke stood on the branch of wide, rutted dirt that led to Lacunae.

  “We’ll head out to Thorn Ridge and make our report. Stay out of trouble,” Glasses said, leaning into his deputy authority with that last sentence.

  Zeke wagged his antennae, his voice box chirping a robotic, “Happy trails!”

  We waved them off, and they set out. I turned toward Heartland, though I wouldn’t be stopping there. I thought of my bunk at Alga’s, though the walk around the mountain took longer than I would have preferred. A damn car would be nice. Hell. An ornery donkey would have been alright. Rides were spare in Convergent City. Likely by design.

  By the time I got there, I crashed hard, barely having the presence to kick off my boots. And then, despite all the troubles on my mind, I slept.

  -ARCHIVE-

  might tell you.