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Chapter 72 Vol. 2: Goblination

  The Arena office was busy, as usual. I strolled along with my honor guard of minotaurs past the lines, chin up, making eye contact with anyone that stared. I knew it wasn’t an honor guard. Pretending it was helped the nerves. My HUD made it clear that these guys should not be fucked with.

  They led me down some stairs behind the main slab of stone that served as a desk. The scorpion lady glanced at me and flicked her quill with a thoughtful expression. Her, I ignored. Seemed safer that way.

  The stairwell was wide enough for two minotaurs to walk side by side. Lucky me, they hedged me in beside the wall and covered my forward and backward route. I felt so safe and protected. Not at all kidnapped.

  In party chat, I kept it cool.

  “Interesting news, guys. I’m going to meet the district lord.”

  Jake: “Are you alright? Did you go on purpose? Where are you? Are you safe right now, or in danger?”

  “I’m fine. I have a [Hex: 7 days bad luck] situation, but it’s fine—if something does happen, go to one of the other lords and stay out of the Labyrinth. I’ll fill you in later.”

  Everyone talked over each other for a moment, but it all amounted to the same ideas. I’d worried them again.

  I really did not want to lose another life over this, but I was mostly just worried about Loogie. What would happen if they killed me? Would it respawn with me, like it had a few moments ago? Tan’Fukshan, this stairwell went down for literally ever. My escorts and I continued walking, turning corners, and descending further in a giant spiraling cube.

  Finally the stairs ended and the corridor leveled out. The minotaurs led me down to a door where yet another minotaur stood guard. It didn’t slow our progress, stepping aside as we approached. I glanced around, looking for possible escape routes, but it seemed that the only way out was the way we’d come, past the front desk. Super.

  One of my ‘honor guard’ pushed open the door, a big metal affair. As soon as it cracked, sound spilled out like an invisible wave. Music and voices, raucous laughter, and cries of surprise assaulted my ears. Music pounded, mostly just beats with an afterthought of melody strewn in for texture. The fuck were we? A rave?

  Once the giant slab of beef moved away enough for me to see around it. I realized it looked like a carnival collided with a sports bar more than anything else. Holographic viewscreens were everywhere. The bar was as much a stage as a place to order drinks. People of every kind were dancing on it on raised pedestals.

  It wasn’t a sports bar, either.

  There was a corner that looked more like Wall Street than a betting lounge—if the financial district was fucking full of aliens. People brushed past me on their way along the bar, the gleam of glass and dazzling lights from the million screens flashing in my eyes. Someone groped my ass. I glanced back, but they were gone.

  Typical.

  There was more going on behind veils, in private booths. Couldn’t see what, but damn, it could be heard. I rolled my eyes and followed the minotaur in front of me. This was not my scene. I looked up to the second level, which was a good twenty feet up from the ground floor.

  Small green figures lounged against the railings.

  Goblins?

  My jaw dropped. This whole time I hadn’t bothered with the Labyrinth, with its imposing walls and my general lack of interest in the sketchy walled city within the city. I’d missed a lot, apparently. I glanced at the dancers on the bar-stage thing. A kobold shook its tail at me. Ugh. Ew.

  There were no goblins on the lower floor. But above… I counted the figures I could see. At least thirty lounged around the upper balcony alone. The lowest floor easily had a few hundred people in it from every district and faction. Orcs I’d never met, fae I’d never seen.

  This was where the rest went. This was why some of the other districts seemed more full of NPCs than actual people. The labyrinth lured them in and swallowed them up with entertainment. Wild.

  Everyone there had blue nameplates—non-hostiles. Most of them had yet to clear their first tier. I hadn’t really thought about it much, but being Tier 4 was looking more significant than I thought it was. Comparatively. I’d been putting up my stats against district lords and grinding my ass off, and it showed, but these guys?

  I could crush any one of them. A part of me loved that. The other part almost got introspective about it. Except I didn’t have time to muse, because the minotaurs led me to a new set of stairs. They stopped, and one of them pointed up.

  “Go.”

  My gaze slid from one to the other, but their cow faces were unreadable. Except for the unfriendly part. I picked up on that. I took a deep breath and started up. Stairs. I feel like, thanks to Convergent City, I had a new appreciation for how many you could climb in a day.

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  When I got to the top, two goblin ladies in evening gowns, with hair swept into gravity-defying hairdos, met me. They had some heavy-duty-looking cattle prods in their hands, too. I guess to prove they weren’t there to seduce me? That idea made me grin. They might have read it wrong, because one of them spat out some Gob I didn’t understand, but it sounded hostile.

  In Ork, I said, “Look, I don’t know Gob. Just take me to your leader.”

  One of them spat on the stone floor. The other one said in the guttural language I understood, “Don’t get any smart ideas, freak. Follow me.”

  I fell into step behind them. Everyone up top was a goblin. Xenophobic, much? But seeing as they were all at best three feet tall, I’d have wanted a safe place to mingle, too. I did see the odd kobold and a sprite dressed in a pink tutu, but mostly just a small sea of green faces turning to watch me wade through their ranks toward the throne at the back of the room.

  The golden throne was surrounded by layers of holos and had a five-foot gap around it that no one seemed to violate.

  One solitary figure sat there.

  The goblin on the throne wore a crown on his head that screamed cybertech. Akilah would have been dying to snatch it off his head and take it apart, no doubt. He wore a tracksuit with blue patterns that reminded me of integrated circuits on computer chips. Not unlike Frag’s tattoos.

  I came to the edge of the crowd, and people backed away, giving me some space. The two guards stood to either side of me. I glanced down at their strappy heels, long claws spilling out over the toes, then switched to the goblin in the chair. I read his name. I fought the urge to grin again.

  Instead, I bowed as my lips twitched against my tusks. Loogie squeaked, clinging to my shoulders like a stubby-winged scarf.

  It was a serious situation. Knowing I’d respawn in bed didn’t change the danger Loogie was in. The Vash’Ora could potentially get left behind if they killed me. They seemed like the types.

  “Asshole, you think you can cheat and get away with it?”

  Beside my ear, Loogie growled softly. I put my hand up to steady the trembling critter as I straightened to face the goblin lord. I met his gaze.

  “The druid can change shapes—”

  “Not her, prick! That!” The lord pointed a clawed finger at me. No. At Loogie.

  “What?” I pulled Loogie off my shoulder. It took some work, since the giant ferretpillar got some of its legs thoroughly tangled in my hair. “Loogie, let go.”

  “No! Scare! Safe want!” Loogie clung to my hands as I worked at detangling it.

  “I won’t let them have you,” I murmured. “We’ll go home soon. Just gotta clear things up. Let go.”

  Slowly, Loogie shook itself free. It took a minute, and when all was said and done, Loogie had a handful of strands wrapped around its legs, torn free in the struggle. I hate having hair ripped out. Even just a strand irritates me. Didn’t help me stay civil in this situation.

  I held Loogie against my chest and met the lord’s gaze again.

  “Lord Snailtrail,” I started, fighting my face again, “I don’t understand what happened. Loogie wasn’t with me.”

  “It was with the druid! It was with the demon! It ran willy-nilly over the field, disrupting the fight!”

  I looked down at Loogie. Its mouth fell open in a happy pant, and it nodded its little head. Betrayal stabbed my heart. Why had it not said anything? Maybe its psychic voice couldn’t reach that far? Did it stay away from me on purpose? My head was stuffed full of questions. I asked the one that felt most pertinent.

  “It didn’t score any points, did it?” I asked.

  The goblin lord scoffed. “Pets can’t score points.”

  “I fail to see it as cheating, then. How was Loogie any different than any projectile weapon?” Aw, yeah. Dusting off my internal bullshitting rules lawyer. It could have gotten rusty since my debate with Archive, but I still had it.

  “That’s an undeclared pet!”

  I shrugged, displaying a bravado I didn’t feel. “I didn’t declare my sword, either. Just my class.”

  “You—!” The goblin pointed at me and shook its finger angrily—and then, its attitude flipped. A broad smile grew on his face, and the finger shaking took on a less threatening air. “You’re alright, freak-o. I like that answer.”

  I didn’t relax, but the change in tone was a little relieving.

  “Kinda wanted to talk to you. C’mere,” The goblin’s finger turned into a curling gesture.

  I glanced down at the floor, thinking of Luke Skywalker and Veruca Salt. Yzma and Kronk?

  No one else stood there.

  I smiled and crouched to take a flying leap. The goblin lord saw what I was going to do the split second before I did it. His big yellow eyes bulged. As his mouth opened, I dashed and threw myself over the open stone floor, landing in a stumble. I almost flung myself backwards to get away from him before steadying myself.

  “The fuck are you doing!” The district lord screamed, a plasma pistol leveled in my face.

  “Floor looked sketchy,” I said to the pistol’s muzzle, my eyes uncrossing to focus on his angry face. “If it was me, I’d have a trapdoor or an illusion there.”

  The lord flicked a look at the floor and smiled slyly. “I might actually like you.”

  “It’s one of my good days,” I replied. “I’m also hexed, so I’ll probably fall in it by accident later anyway.”

  “Haha! I saw that,” the goblin laughed, his candid cheer drawing a rueful grin from me.

  His attention moved to Loogie, who was softly growling at him. He squinted at the Vash’Ora, then his gaze unfocused. The mark of anyone accessing their internal network. I looked myself over. Wounds were wounded, blood was minimal. My arm was the worst, but it was functional and only dripping occasionally. I’ve had worse.

  “Well, well, well,” he said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. A moment later, he said, “For real this time. Follow me.”

  He slammed a fist down onto an embellishment on his golden throne. The illusion on the floor faded, and a walkway appeared. He hopped down off his perch, holstered his pistol, and ambled across the metal plank.

  I followed carefully, mindful of my last words. The pit wasn’t deep, but it would’ve been a hell of a fall. The smooth walls would make it nearly impossible to get out of without help or some trick. My eyes narrowed at his back, lips tightening against my tusks in a barely restrained snarl.

  Goblins gyrated to the noise, goblins bet on Arena fights, goblins drank from crystal goblets. A hip-high sea of goblins. I took a breath to calm the racing in my chest, stroking Loogie, who was curled in my arms, trembling with fear. I followed the district lord. Didn’t have much choice.

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