[Memory Excerpt from the File of Finnegan “Finn” Walsh, Candidate for Transfer]

  — Agent file #6935632361

  Finn slammed the big pot down next to the sink, sloshing some of the water out, before turning around to glare at his little brother. “Tonight? You didn’t tell me you had a game tonight! Fuck, Sean, it’s raining, and it’s like 50 degrees out there,” Finn shouted, throwing his arms up.

  “I told you on Tuesday! You just don’t listen to me! You act like you do, but you don’t!” Sean yelled back. He was already tearing up and wiped at his eyes in frustration.

  That hit Finn hard. Sean was right: he didn’t listen most of the time outside of their Thursday talks after going to Dad’s grave. But he listened when Sean had something important. And he always wrote it on the calendar so he wouldn’t forget. Finn went over to check the calendar by the pantry and sighed. He had written in down: 5pm Sean gaming at Eric’s. “I’m sorry, Sean. Fuck, how did I forget?”

  Sean rubbed his face before looking at his older brother. “I wish you wouldn’t do this, Finn. You’re such an asshole,” he responded quietly. He was still angry, but was calming down.

  “Yeah, well, get your coat on, Sean. I’ve gotta turn off the stove. Fuck, you are an asshole too, wanting to go out on a night like this. But I’ll take you over to Eric’s so you can game with your nerdy friends,” Finn muttered half-heartedly. It was annoying, but it was his job as big brother to suck it up.

  It was Friday, too. Finn had had a beer while making dinner, but figured he’d be fine to drive. If he had remembered what day it was, he wouldn’t have had anything to drink until he knew if Sean was going to stay at his friend’s place or needed to be picked up. I hope he sleeps over at his friend’s place, so I won’t have to go out twice in such bad weather, Finn thought

  He met Sean in the garage, and they got into Dad’s car. Technically, it was Finn’s car now, but nobody referred to it as Finn’s. It was a dark fall night, and the icy rain was coming down hard. Finn was confident in his driving skills, even though he only started driving regularly when taking his dad to chemo. He preferred Metro Transit. But it had gotten easier just to pick up Sean with Dad’s car.

  Finn turned the wipers on full blast so he could see better. The streetlights weren’t helping, but it was only a fifteen-minute drive. He could handle a little low visibility. And he figured the traffic wouldn’t be bad in this weather.

  “Can we stop somewhere to grab some snacks? Allen never gets enough for game night,” Sean asked hopefully.

  “Yeah, little buddy, we can do that. You need me to buy, too?”

  “Can you? Please?”

  “How about we hit Aldi? But next time, you need to make sure you save your money. And you’re gonna work it off at home,” Finn said sternly, turning to head toward the nearest grocery store. The radio was still on the classic rock station Dad had liked , currently playing AC/DC’s classic Thunderstruck. Kind of fitting, Finn thought.

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  The traffic was pretty light. Most people were smart enough to avoid this kind of driving, so Finn didn’t worry about going a little fast. One of his favorites, Handlebars by the Flobots, was playing. It always kicked up his confidence, really amping him up. There were two lights before the nearest Aldi, and the next light turned yellow half a block away. Finn grinned, knowing he could make it through the intersection as long as he didn’t slow down.

  “Finn, it’s yellow,” Sean said, gripping the door armrest. “You’re going too fast!”

  “We can make it,” replied Finn. He pressed down on the gas pedal, getting the car up to 60 miles per hour. They entered the intersection just as the light turned red. “Yes! We’re good!”

  BAAAM!

  Finn blinked a couple of times, confused. He was looking at the steering wheel. Was I driving? Glancing up, he tried to peer out the windshield, but cracks spider-webbed across all of it and blocked his view. His ears rang, and the side of his head hurt. He put his hand up to where it hurt and felt a warm wetness. “What happened? Sean? You okay, bro?” he said.

  But when he looked over in a daze, all he saw was Sean’s head and shoulders hanging over the center console. The boy’s entire upper body was barely being held up by his shoulder strap. The passenger door bulged in, and the dash pressed against his little brother, hiding his legs. His right arm didn’t look right—maybe broken. Blood dripped consistently from his face, like a metronome on the faux leather.

  The radio played that overdone insurance advertisement. The two of them had heard it so much that the two of them would say the lines along with it and laugh. Finn’s mind and eyes snapped back into focus on his little brother.

  “Oh, God. Oh, God, Sean! Can you hear me, little buddy? Sean!” Finn shouted, freaking out. He reached his hand over to rouse his little brother, but then he remembered that moving an injured person was a bad idea. He had no medical training and could really mess things up.

  Where’s my fucking phone? I can’t find my phone! He searched in his coat and looked around the car. “Hold on, Sean, you’re going to be okay. Okay? Oh Jesus, where’s my fucking phone?”

  Someone knocked on the window. “Holy buckets, you okay in there? I’ve called 911, but they want to know if anyone was hurt!”

  Fortunately, the window lowered when he pushed the button, and rain hit Finn in the face as he leaned toward the woman in a raincoat. “Sean’s hurt and he’s not waking up. He’s bleeding. The car’s crumpled on his side!”

  “Oh, for sure. You betcha, I’ll tell him,” the woman said to the 911 dispatcher and turned to Finn. “They heard you, hon, and said to wait where you are. Emergency services are on their way. It’s going to be okay, hon, I just know it.” She smiled reassuringly at him. As she glanced past him, her smile faltered for a moment. “It’s… it’s going to be okay.”

  It took them half an hour to get Sean out of the vehicle safely. By that point, they had patched Finn up, and he had to sit by and watch while they saved his little brother, using a device to rip apart the passenger side of Dad’s car. If only I had listened to him and not tried to rush the light, he thought bitterly.

  “Hey, kid, are you paying attention? I need to know if you’ve been drinking,” the uniformed man in a rain jacket asked.

  Finn looked up at the police officer, numb and in a state of self-loathing. “Does it matter? My little brother is over there dying,” he said flatly.

  The officer looked like he was going to say something snarky, but then changed his mind. “Look, kid. I’m sorry about what’s going on here. But I need you to work with me here. I have to rule out certain things so I know if there was a crime here. I hate doing this, but I need to know if you’ve been drinking tonight. Okay? Can you answer that for me?”

  “I was sipping a beer while making dinner. I didn’t finish it.”

  “Are you willing to do a breathalyzer for me?”

  “Yeah,” Finn said, watching the medics strap Sean onto a stretcher and load him into the ambulance. “Hey, I need to go with him!” Finn stood up, but the cop put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down firmly.

  “Not just yet. If you’re sober, I’ll drive you to the hospital myself,” the cop ordered.

  Finn nodded, watching as the firemen slammed the ambulance doors. Something broke in him with the sound.

  [End Memory File Transmission]

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