June 7th, 2013
genericallyBenevolent: You haven’t named your armor?
black_hole_minima: Well, why would I? I haven’t worn it yet.
genericallyBenevolent: But you’ve got to know what you’re going to call it.
black_hole_minima: No.
genericallyBenevolent: You have some idea.
black_hole_minima: No, I don’t have much in the way of ideas for what I should call my armor.
genericallyBenevolent: Your Durendal Mark VII JYS handmade by the inventor of non-tinker powered armor with a Pemmer engine and a Bohemian microfusion drive.
black_hole_minima: When it’s been been waiting for you since you were eight, it’s just your armor.
genericallyBenevolent: There are only five in the world and they’re gene-locked and they have five of the world’s eight pemmer boxes and seven different redundant absolute defense systems and anti-tank weaponry!”
She sighed, waited, typed.
black_hole_minima: I’ve been reliably informed it’s very cool but you must, at some point, get bored of the fact that you’re the third in the Smith’s line, right? It stops being exciting and starts just being a fact about yourself? Doesn’t it seem intuitively true to you that I would just get used to being the Tyrant’s daughter?
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
genericallyBenevolent: Actually I occasionally wake up going ‘this is incredibly cool.’ Maybe it’s just that being the good guy is fundamentally better than being the bad guy.
She smiled slightly.
black_hole_minima: I don’t expect to ever use it.
black_hole_minima: Look. You grew up in a superhero family. You must be used to family members rushing off to save the day. Well, I grew up in a supervillain family. I assumed everyone had armor waiting for them. This is normal for me.
genericallyBenevolent: What?
black_hole_minima: You read the news. My father retired and my siblings are splitting the throne. I’m not going to be any sort of queen; once I get some free time I’m just going to go to grad school and then move somewhere where when I say ‘Catherine Balog,’ they’ll say, ‘That’s a nice name, what is it, Romanian?’, and nobody ever shoots anyone else. I’m excited to try and discover what sort of life that is.
genericallyBenevolent: And you’re just going to let one of the greatest works of engineering in modern history rot in a basement?
black_hole_minima: Yup!
genericallyBenevolent: Because you don’t want to be a supervillain?
black_hole_minima: Pretty much.
genericallyBenevolent: You know there’s another option.
She stared at the screen. “No,” she said, “Nononononono.” Then she typed it.
There was a ‘he is typing’ message.
black_hole_minima: No
black_hole_minima: Absolutely not
black_hole_Minima: Don’t even think about it. Not for one instant.
black_hole_minima: No.
genericallyBenevolent: That wasn’t what I was going to say.
black_hole_minima: I’m not a black hat. I’m also not a white hat. I am not a hat of any type.
black_hole_minima: I am a person who wants, desperately wants, to have nothing interesting happen in her life. I want to study the world, and never, ever determine the fate of any part of it larger than a classroom.”
He was typing, and she closed the browser. Then paused. Then considered.
“I am not going to be queen,” she said, tracing out her options. “I am not going to run off and be a superhero. I am going to wait until Mother’s funeral, discuss it with my father, and then leave properly. Elgolian!”
Her bodyguard arrived in approximately three seconds.
“Why, Elgolian is here now, Princess.”
“Excellent. I want two of our best stun-rays out of the armory, light and heavy. If I’ve got to be a princess for another month, I should at least do it competently.”