Chapter 19:

  They did not want to do this.

  The sun was violently beating down on the trio as they hiked. Mira was exhausted after the first half hour and was almost falling asleep. Shogai had to carry her up on his back as she vaguely gave directions. If Jade weren't experienced in travel, she'd have collapsed too. As for Shogai, his aching leg was screaming at him.

  "Water break," Jade ordered, sounding about to faint. Shogai fell to the ground after lowering Mira. She was jerked awake.

  After the three of them drank, they elected to take a few more minutes before continuing. Mira said they should have been over halfway there by now, which was good, since they'd been travelling for a couple of hours already. Shogai frowned.

  “You seem troubled,” Mira observed. Shogai hadn’t even realised it himself until she’d said it, but she was right. And he didn’t know what exactly it was.

  “Something about that Deviant.” He admitted, “I won, but… something feels off. Surely winning is all that matters.”

  “Is it?” Mira budged a bit closer to Shogai. “You used my tactics, but something is missing, right?”

  “Yeah. I killed it. What more am I supposed to want?”

  “You need to understand why you’re fighting,” Mira said, “What did you feel when you landed that kick and won the fight?”

  “Like I’d… won? Like I’d defeated a Deviant. Like I’d grown.” Shogai wasn’t sure if that was a trick question or not, but Mira was nodding.

  “Exactly. You fought like you were there to kill the Deviant. But Nexus is not designed to fight Deviants. It’s designed to protect people.”

  “I was doing both, wasn’t I?” Shogai frowned, “What’s the difference?”

  Jade stood up right as Mira was about to call her over. Those two were on the same page, but Shogai felt lost.

  “Here’s what’s going to happen.” Mira stood up and encouraged Shogai to do the same. “I’m Mira, and Jade is a Deviant. Your job is to keep me safe.”

  Shogai was currently positioned between Jade and Mira. This didn’t seem too difficult, and it felt more like a playground game. He figured he’d play along. At Mira’s word, Jade advanced slowly. Shogai kept his eyes locked on Jade and paced accordingly, ensuring he stood between Jade and Mira at all times. He moved mechanically.

  “Stop.” Mira tapped Shogai on the shoulder. “You aren’t even looking at me. Do you even care if I live or die?”

  “I’m looking at Jad- I mean, the Deviant. I need to keep an eye on them in order to keep you safe.”

  “Hmph.” Mira crossed her arms. “Continue, then.”

  It felt like he was missing something, but Shogai continued with what he was doing. Jade was staring him down, slowly walking forward. Shogai extended his arms, ready to knock her away if need be. Suddenly, Mira screamed behind him. He sharply whipped around to see her on the floor.

  “Oh dear!” Mira’s performance was far from convincing. “An Aberrant got me! It snuck up behind you while the Deviant had your attention.”

  Jade giggled at the overdramatic performance, whereas Shogai rolled his eyes. “Alright, I get it now. Let’s try again.”

  This time, Shogai looked back and forth between Jade and Mira. He never let either one out of his sight for more than a second. At one point, he turned to Jade, and Mira immediately screamed. “This Aberrant was camouflaged! It was waiting for an opening!”

  Shogai frowned. “Again.” This time, he kept his eyes on Mira the entire time, never even looking at Jade. That was a mistake. His world flipped upside down as Jade swept his feet out from under him.

  “Sorry!” Jade rushed to check on Shogai, who was unharmed but disgruntled. “I was just curious to see if the thing Mira showed you would work if I tried it.”

  “It’s fine…” Shogai wasn’t bothered by Jade’s attack. He was actually impressed. But right now, he had to know how to win. “Again.”

  “The Aberrant tunnelled beneath you!” “The floor caved in!” “Jade just took over my mind!” “You just let the Deviant call for help!” “I tripped on a pebble and hit my head!”

  After dozens of attempts, Shogai collapsed on the floor and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t get it. How am I supposed to keep an eye on everything at once?”

  “You don’t,” Jade answered this time. “Mira has already given you the answer. Can you remember?”

  Shogai rattled through what Mira had said. A line stuck out to him, and his demeanour changed. This wasn’t about tactics. It was about stakes. “One more time.”

  This time, the staredown went differently. Shogai hadn’t adopted a new strategy, but his movements had changed. Less robotic and more… paranoid. He envisioned Jade as a real enemy. Not just a sparring partner. His right hand instinctively raised slightly behind him, protecting Mira.

  “I care if you live or die, Mira,” Shogai mumbled, never taking his eyes off Jade, but always being aware of Mira’s status. “And if I get used to situations where you aren’t in real danger, I won’t be ready for the ones where you are.”

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  Mira applauded and walked up to Shogai. “Good. You aren’t trying to stop Jade anymore. You’re trying to keep me safe. Even if the actions themselves are the same, can you see why that’s different?”

  Shogai didn’t respond. He remained focused on Jade, who wore an odd expression. Mira tapped him on the shoulder. “Shogai?”

  In a flash, Mira lunged at Jade, but Shogai was ready. His body moved before his mind caught up. Previously, he’d have “saved” Jade by attacking Mira and knocking her away. But this time, he turned around and grabbed Jade around the waist, pulling her close to his chest and using his body as a shield as he rolled away from Mira, ensuring he was the one who hit the ground.

  “I care if you live or die, too, Jade.” She stared at him for a moment and then gave a soft smile. “Same to you, Shogai.”

  He gently released her, ensuring she was unharmed. He didn’t expect Mira to swap roles with Jade without telling him, but she didn’t need to. The lesson was to always be ready to protect those he cares about. After Mira had applauded, Shogai’s instincts hadn’t allowed him to relax. That told him that there was still danger, but instead of tunnel visioning on Mira, he anticipated Jade being in trouble too.

  Those instincts… they were the same that Shogai had felt in that inn in Harabel. That rising sense of protectiveness.

  This time, Shogai’s senses relaxed when Mira applauded. “You really do have the perfect instincts to be a Nexean, Shogai. Please consider it. And it seems that you’ve mastered it. You’ve learned what separates a protector from an attacker.”

  He looked down at his hands. Not one punch was thrown, and yet he won. And this felt like a real win, unlike what happened with Tiro. This mere sparring match had so much meaning because he was focused on the stakes, not the enemy. On protecting, not attacking.

  “When the idea crossed my mind… that failure meant your deaths…” Shogai struggled to even say those words, “That’s when the difference between the two hit me. And… I can’t distinguish them if I’m focused on the attack. Is this-?”

  “Yes,” Jade answered. “The power of protection. To be able to prioritise losing nothing over winning everything. To show mercy where mercy doesn’t seem due. To endure where the easy option is to save yourself.”

  Those lines made Shogai think of his opponents in the black market. The ones he’d mercilessly beaten down. But he understood where Djinn was coming from now. If the less violent option is available, that’s always the best one. Because beating people is worthless compared to protecting those close to you.

  “How do I channel my anger to real threats?”

  Mira tilted her head, “You ask for the impossible. All you can do, all any of us can do, is try. Anyway, you dropped something in the grass. What’s this package for?”

  Shogai froze. He intended to give the bottle to her in a less awkward way, but he realised that they really didn’t have a choice. If they reached Nexus soon, they might not get a good chance. Especially since they hadn't told Mira the truth. Sekara was alive. When Mira found out, she might hate them for lying to her. Shogai took the bottle and cleared his throat.

  "Mira, I wanted to thank you for bringing us along."

  Mira perked up and smiled.

  "Don't worry about it. I might have only let you along in a rash decision, but you've both been amazing friends. I wouldn't have it any other way."

  Shogai tried to find the right words to tell Mira about the potion, but her compliment distracted him. He got lost as a dozen different thoughts crossed his mind. She thought he was… an amazing friend? The thought had never crossed his mind. As he struggled to find words, Jade held his hands steady and unwrapped the parcel. Mira put her hands to her mouth as Shogai found his voice again.

  "-and I figured you wouldn't want to buy this yourself. The last thing you want is people knowing about your insomnia, right?"

  "I- those are rare, Shogai. How much could that have-?"

  "Don't worry about it. You allowed me to open my eyes to the world. Now I'm giving you the chance to rest them. We're even."

  Mira stood with a surge of energy and rushed to Shogai. He expected her to grab the bottle, but instead she threw her arms around him.

  "Thank you," she whispered. She let him go and turned to Jade, hugging her as well.

  "You too, Jade. I can tell Shogai wouldn't have lasted a day away from home without you."

  Jade laughed and put her hand on Shogai's shoulder. Mira admired the view.

  "You two are perfect for each other. I'm glad you're together."

  Jade spluttered and let Shogai go, and Shogai backed away too.

  "He's not-" "She's not-"

  "Oh, so you haven't confessed yet? I've seen enough people in my time. You may not know it yet, but I know a pair when I see them."

  Mira giggled as Jade and Shogai were still stumbling over their words.

  "Well, I never said anything. And I think our break is over. Let's keep going."

  And just like that, Mira walked off, giving Shogai and Jade no more time to think. They awkwardly avoided each other’s gaze, faces red, and followed Mira.

  It was only another half hour until Mira stopped and rummaged around in the bushes. She pulled one aside to reveal a hidden tunnel.

  "Nexus is underground. This is the only entrance we can take without finding Aberrants along the way, if not worse. Not much further, let's go."

  Mira slid down the tunnel like a slide and vanished. Shogai was hesitant to follow so quickly, but Jade was not. She jumped straight after Mira.

  "Guess we're doing that, then," Shogai muttered to himself, following them.

  The drop was far, long, and cold. The wind brushed past Shogai's face as he descended into the depths. Or at least that's how it felt.

  Finally, the slide let them out in an underground chamber. Shogai stood a little too abruptly, and his back was aching. That was not a smooth slide at all. The girls had recovered quicker than him, and they were observing their surroundings.

  The chamber was huge, probably the size of Harabel, and had pillars supporting it here and there. It was circular, and on equal points of each side were four statues. Giant, golem-like figures in a kneeling position. Between two of them was a big indent in the wall, which looked eerily like a gate. But surely no gate of that size, made of stone, could open.

  "Nexus is right through there. It's voice-activated. Give me a second."

  Mira said, and she walked into the centre of the room. Shogai didn't know what "voice-activated" meant. Was a Nexean listening?

  "Mira here! Sister of Nifa, current Inner Rank 8! I have news to bring!"

  Her voice echoed around the hall, but nothing happened for a scary moment. Mira cleared her throat and repeated herself.

  Mira turned back to Shogai and Jade, who were both confused. She tried one more time and got a response.

  Voice not recognised. Access denied.

  A rumbling was heard, and the four golems opened their eyes to reveal an empty red glow. They got to their feet and lumbered over to the trio.

  Trial 1 beginning...