Victor

  12th month, 22nd day, 967

  This was a great plan, a masterstroke of strategy, but boy was it a stupid idea. Not only was I dead tired, the smell of this place was the absolute worst and I was only at the front door. Ugh. I thought I was gonna hurl. I knelt before the entrance to the compound. Two corpses lay on the ground, with clear signs that they’d been picked over by scavengers; animal tracks, some canine and some potentially reptilian, but no humanoid footprints of any sort.

  We shoulda burned all of the corpses, I reckoned, instead of just the Mastermind…no, we really didn’t have time because we had to care for Mal. The only reason we made it a point to put the Mastermind’s remains to the torch was because I feared they’d find some way to repair him if we didn’t completely obliterate them and I never figured I’d come back here. I could already tell this was going to suck.

  Yeah, even before I opened the bunker doors I knew what awaited me inside. I braced myself, covering my face with a bandana tied around. Ugh. I’d insisted on coming alone, too. I assured Illiana that I could handle it, that she should stay with Juliette and let me take care of the matter. Just a little espionage, that’s all. How could I have forgotten about something so basic as putrefaction? I think her wind magic could have been very useful here, but there it is. I started whistling the theme song to that famous spy TV show to distract myself from the ghastly odor that permeated the hallway. The body of that wolf-eared magic-user was still there, right where we left it; no new tracks in the blood, no signs of anyone having been moved.

  I was carrying a large lockbox made of heavy metal, the main payload of this mission. Hanzo and Meli had worked fast last night…ugh, it was nearly six in the morning already. What was I thinking? I put the lockbox right where I originally found it, and then proceeded to unload my magic backpack - countless journals, scrolls, and loose leafs of parchment scattered onto the desk. Even though I felt like I was going to die from the foul human effluence that assaulted my very olfactory nerve, I smirked in smug satisfaction. I left the Mastermind’s lair behind for the second time…and immediately went in search of a friggin bath!

  ***

  12th month, 23rd day, 967

  It was early evening by the time I got back to Caer Caradon; after sleeping for most of the previous day I struck out early. That was another twelve hour drive, but I think it was worth it. Anyways, I reckoned that the rest of my party members should be ready to go by now but I needed to check up on Illiana. Oh, who am I kidding? I knew she was fine - it was me who wasn’t feelin’ so hot.

  I didn’t even need to knock on the door - Illiana was waiting outside, and of course she tackle-hugged me to the ground. We’d missed each other sorely, of course. Juliette hadn’t given birth yet but according to that midwife it wouldn’t be long. Illiana informed me that our friends were waiting for us at one of our favorite old haunts, Dion’s Rest, so that’s where we went.

  In my absence, Illiana had arranged lodgings for them in two adjoining suites. Additionally, she’d taken the liberty of getting a certain item out of our storage unit which will become important very soon. Sylfaena, Rayna, Mal, and Guy were there but so was Chiyorielle from the Shadar’Kethal. Hanzorian and Nenewyn were still in town, coordinating something or other with the royal court of Cara - I was assured they’d show up later in the evening. Mal was the first to greet me, with his usual exaggerated bow, but nothing could have prepared me for the moment he spoke:

  “Well met my friend, I pray that thou art much refreshed following thine respite.”

  “Mal! That…that was English! Pretty decent English at that!”

  He smiled and said, switching to Common, “Indeed, old boy! I figured since I was learning about the works of one of your former world’s playwrights, why not learn the language while I was at it? I’m still not fluent, mind you. Ah, incidentally, the version of English spoken by this Shakespeare fellow translates far more readily into Common than your American English does.”

  “Good to know. I can’t wait to see your own version of Hamlet.”

  He tapped his forehead thoughtfully, “Yes, an adaptation is going to take some effort. Knew I more about this Denmark place I could work out where to set it. Anyroad, we can speak of such frivolities as the theater later.”

  I nodded in agreement, “Yeah sorry.” I turned to Sylfie, who had an amused expression. “Well how about we make it official and add you to our party?”

  Sylfie curtsied in the same way I’d seen Illiana do many times up until this point and said, without skipping a beat, “Let us hie ourselves to the guild, O party leader of Red Lightning.”

  Christ, she was imitating her sister through and through. Illiana burst out laughing, and it was all I could do to keep a straight face. Note to self: beneath that mature, serious expression lies a sense of humor. Anyways, “hie ourselves” is exactly what we did - Illiana had already explained to the others about how Selafyn was sitting this one out so there was no need to belabor it.

  It had been quite a while since we’d visited the guild branch, so I was eager to see if we’d made any sort of progress. Because Juliette was on leave from work, we were greeted by Anna - a cat-ears beastfolk woman with sandy brown hair and keen blue eyes. I knew Louise, too, but I’d never met Anna before; she must have been new. Mal, Illiana, and I actually attained copper rank - apparently taking out the Mastermind put us over the top. This became even more obvious when we received our achievement patches.

  Hunter of Ancients: Destroy an evil non-demon creature whose age exceeds five thousand years. Mal, Illiana, and I got this one. Presumably this was for fighting the Mastermind.

  Abominationslayer: Defeat or incapacitate a creature whose form defies classification, and whose relative threat level is equal to at least gold rank. Abomination was an apt description for the Mastermind. Just how does this threat assessment thing work anyway? Incidentally we were also eligible for the lesser Oddityslayer and Aberratonslayer patches having skipped straight past them.

  Archmageslayer: Huh? This one was like Mageslayer but it required you to defeat a dark-hearted magic-user with a threat assessment of gold or higher. Did they mean that wolf-eared guy who was monologuing at us whenever he should have been trying to cast spells?

  No, he went down too quick - they had to have meant the Mastermind. Was I right? Had he been using pattern magic? It wasn’t like there was an instruction manual for the “Master Mind X-1000” or anything like that, so I doubted I’d ever get answers.

  Sacrifice: Become grievously injured in an effort to aid your companions. That one Mal alone received, and he put it on his gambeson with pride. Whether it scanned my brain or whether it was a coincidence I have no idea but the image on that patch kind of reminded me of that one scene where a certain green alien named after a musical instrument had his own “No Greater Love” moment.

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  Wanderer: Traverse a wilderland by yourself; this one went to me. Oh yeah, I’d cut through the Hylarian and Avonian Wilderlands last night hadn’t I?

  Power of Love: Encourage the one you love in such a manner that he or she achieve a great victory within five minutes or less. This one had a heart and a lightning bolt. Illiana alone earned this one, and of course she hurriedly set about attaching it to her cloak. Okay, obviously Illiana knew how she felt about me during the battle with the Mastermind, but how did the adventurer chip know? Damn, pattern magic is really overpowered.

  Orcslayer I: Slay ten orcs personally in your lifetime. Illiana and I got this one. Sylfaena already had Orcslayer I and II, incidentally. The subject of orcs in Gandore’s Gorge would come up shortly, but there’s no need to belabor the details.

  Classic Hero II: Become romantically involved with a princess - are they serious? Well, it was true so, yeah that patch is going on some article of clothing not likely to get too messed up - or maybe a glass souvenir box for the mantle?

  Demonslayer: Illiana and I both achieved this one for taking out that succubus.

  Critical Assist: Ah, Mal had this one already - I presumably earned this for shooting that big orc in the back, the one Selafyn finished off.

  Next came the matter of Sylfaena’s advancement, and thankfully we had some help in that department. Chiyorielle, who had accompanied us, presented Anna with an envelope featuring the seal of Anaura.

  “This is a field copper-rank quest issued by his majesty Illorend II,” she said, “It was completed by an alliance between the White Wolves and two freelancers: Princess Sylfaena, and Prince Valyrian. As you can see from the signature here, the objective was completed to the king’s satisfaction and you will find that it ought to count towards her highness’ advancement.”

  The receptionist took a moment to get over the shock of hearing Val’s name - the way her ears flipped up the moment it was mentioned made it pretty obvious - after which she made sure all of the paperwork was in order.

  For completing the field quest and defeating Snacqua Sylfie, Rayna, and Guy attained Dragonslayer; a patch with a golden border like my Elf-Friend patch. Now they were eligible to advance to platinum rank, if they ever reached Gold of course. What’s more, Sylfie actually achieved tin rank so she was still within one rank of us which means she was still eligible to join us as our fourth official party member.

  Once everything was settled, she presented us with her updated adventurer ID card. Huh, I learned a few things today: Sylfie’s 514 years old, is 4’11”, and her full name is Sylfaena Ardenalia tael Anaura…wait, Illiana had the same tael in her name didn’t she?

  “What’s the tael thing anyway?” I asked.

  Illiana said, “It has no real direct translation into the human tongue, but it signifies a princess who isn’t first in line to inherit the throne - a non heiress. My mother is styled til Anaura, and if I had no brothers Iylestra would have received tiliel as part of her full name.”

  I nodded, reckoning I was following so far. “What’s the male equivalent?”

  “Yae,” said Illiana, “As in Valyrian Ilmer yae Anaura. Father’s full name contains yil, and elder brother’s name contains yilion”.

  That was interesting, but I reckoned I was gettin’ sidetracked. “Thanks for all that info. Anyroad-” Christ, now they got me doing it, “Welcome to Red Lightning, Sylfie!”

  Her highness the third princess gave a curtsy, “I thank you. So, what’s the next step?”

  Of course I knew what was next; we needed to check for delivery quests that happened to be on our way. I explained to Sylfie that this had been our modus operandi ever since we started adventuring together; pick up a quest in a distant land, and see what else we can get done on the way. That’s how we’d established a reputation for getting things done quickly. Since I reckoned we were gonna have a full car, and we weren’t pulling it by horse this time, we weren’t gonna be able to do any sort of escort or personnel transportation quests.

  There were, in fact, some delivery quests out west; the first of which we didn’t even need to consult the board for. Chiyorielle posted a new quest from Hanzo himself and requested Red Lightning specifically to carry it out: contact Sarian in Rivercrown City, and give him new instructions. There was a tin-rank delivery for some wine going to Herosford in Andalon, and a tin-rank delivery for some letters going to Daz Grund; piece of cake!

  Huh? There was an especially old looking square of parchment for a bronze-rank quest. “Wanted: The Dark Lord of Dreadmoor.”

  Guy regarded the parchment with disdain, “They still haven’t got the bastard, have they?” He sighed

  I asked “You know of him?”

  Guy nodded, “His wickedness is well known even as far away as Hylaria - for the knights of our realm have fought against him before. I think it was just under a century ago, after the fall of Arabor.” He looked thoughtfully at the horizon. “Andalon, Avonia, the dwarves of Anvligrund, the wild men of the hills, and the wood elves of Elwood all banded together to drive back his legion…but they couldn’t save Arabor, for to this day it still lies in ruins.”

  “So he’s still alive after like a hundred years? Is he an elf or something?”

  Mal interjected, “Nay, old boy, he is as human as you or I. Well, he was born that way at any rate. Rumor has it that he wears a magical suit of armor that keeps him alive; additionally, whatever dark power he serves has granted him abilities that make him a sort of, hm, well, an anti paladin of sorts. An unholy knight capable of empowering his weapons with spells of ruin - infliction, the opposite of healing. I had heard he’d been laying low, gathering strength or simply brooding.”

  “Achilles in his tent, eh?” Gah, right, idioms. “Sorry. Anyway. Wanna take this one on too?”

  Everyone seemed to agree that we might as well look into the matter; after all, as copper-ranked adventurers we were more than capable of taking on a bronze-ranked task such as this. Plus, and let’s be frank here, I have guns and a 1967 Cadillac Sedan DeVille. After showing Anna the quest, she informed us that since the quest had come from the main guild branch of Galin: in Rivercrown City.

  “If a quest from that far away managed to get here,” she said, “It means that all attempts to complete it have failed.”

  Illiana said, firmly, “‘Tis likely that bronze-rank is a gross under-estimation then. This quest ought to be Electrum or Silver at the very least.”

  Anna seemed frightened, “Nya’ll have to speak to the guildmaster in Rivercrown! Meow has nothing to do with it! It may also be that there aren’t any adventurers of sufficient capabilities in the region, mew.”

  Is she doing that on purpose? Nevermind. Huh, come to think of it Meli sometimes habitually uses rabbit puns in her speech. Illiana crossed her arms - ah, the wheels in her head were turning…she reckoned we could squeeze a bigger reward out if it turned out the challenge was greater than the stated quest rank.

  “Well, Sir Victor, as soon as we get to Rivercrown we-” she stopped abruptly and held two fingers to her ear. “Huh? Already?” She concentrated and said, eyes glowing, “I shall be right there.”

  We’d given that dwarf priestess, Della Ironbrow, one of our scrolls of transmission - I reckoned I knew what was going on, so I tossed Illiana my car keys.

  “Here,” I said, “You’ll get there faster if you take the Cadillac. Meet us at Dion’s Rest when you’re done.”

  She kissed me quickly, and beat a hasty retreat without another word. As for me…I needed to speak to Meli, Mal, Nenewyn, and Sylfaena about what I had in mind for solving our little problem in Galin. That’s right - it was time for another discussion on magical theory. Far as things go, things were progressin’ just fine.