12th month, 14th day, 967

  Victor

  Over the course of the remainder of the 11th month, Illiana and I got settled into a fairly solid routine. Breakfast in the morning; sometimes she cooked, sometimes I did, and sometimes we would cook together flirtatiously. Naturally sometimes this led straight back to bed for a time. Following that we would go out and get some exercise. Usually it was a jog around Mirror Lake Park, which I'll speak more of later, but we also had our fair share of combat training sessions. Once finished with our exercise routine we would take lunch and decide what to do next. If there was yardwork to be done, we'd do that, otherwise we'd head to the shopping district and find out what food we wanted to make for dinner. Because Mal, Meli, and the White Wolves were all wintering with us we got to see them all a fair bit - frequently dining together with them or going to see shows.

  Oh yeah, shows. Tor Anaura actually had a robust entertainment industry that I hadn't had much of a chance to enjoy previously - on one occasion we went to see a famous songstress perform a most enchanting aria, and then there was the arena! Yes! Tor Anaura had a sporting arena with archery contests, horse races, and the like! This I was especially fond of and was starting to consider entering one of the events myself; it was mostly me and the guys visiting the arena but sometimes Rayna would join us too. Mal and I, of course, got back into our habit of coming up with funnies that made sense in both of our languages, and I occasionally went out drinking with the boys (Val included sometimes) at different pubs.

  Illiana spent a great deal of time with Meli, Rayna, and her sisters as well. By the first week of the twelfth month Sylfaena was back, along with Nenewyn, and they occasionally joined when they weren't working. This was “girl time” so I was kept out of it for the most part; Reasonable, given that if she and I didn't spend at least a little time apart we might end up spending the whole day having sex and not get anything productive done at all. Anyhow, once daytime activities were done we would take dinner, sometimes with friends in attendance. Then we would cuddle up by the fire and tell each other the stories of what we did all day when we weren't together. My dear fiancee loved talking about what she and the other ladies had got up to. It was usually basic girly stuff, not terribly interesting to be honest - but anything that Illiana was into I would at least try to remember.

  Illiana's girl friend time was convenient to me for another purpose, for I also had a secret project - you see, I was working part-time in the atelier of an elvish jewelcrafter. In exchange for helping out in his shop he taught me how to forge rings. At the end of my labors I was allowed to buy a golden ring with a single green gemstone set into it, that I’d personally crafted, at cost. Meli was my partner in crime on this endeavor, for she had discreetly taken Illiana's finger size with a pattern spell and let me in on it. I also had additional help in the form of First Princess Ielestra who offered to enchant the ring with protective magic; I found out about her talents while all of the royal siblings took tea with us one evening and she used a magical teapot that she’s made herself.

  Incidentally, Second Princess Vardrina is a seamstress and a baker; it was she who taught Illiana how to make those delicious honey biscuits she was spoiling me with lately. Well now it was my turn to give Illiana something nice. Just as she was getting ready to snuggle with me on the couch, I got on my knees.

  "Princess Illiana," I said, "I know we're already engaged but, we have this tradition in my former world."

  She blushed and began to separate her legs-

  "Sweetie, I wasn't talking about performing-" I laughed, "Okay I can do that for you later, too, but-"

  I gathered my wits, and brought out the box with the magic ring and opened it, when she saw it tears welled up in her eyes.

  "You don't have to explain," she said, holding her left hand out, "The humans of these lands have a similar custom."

  I nodded, and slipped the ring onto her ring finger. After looking at it for just a moment, she immediately tackled me and knocked me on my back. I didn't sleep much that night. Moving on.

  ***

  It so happened upon the very next day that Sylfaena came unbidden to our front door as we were drinking our morning dose of conjured coffee. Naturally we invited her in and offered her some; oh weird, was this really the first time we'd made it for her? She seemed to enjoy it with the same amount of cream but more sugar than Illiana; the same was true of her tea come to think of it. But that wasn't what made her visit interesting, oh no siree bob! She had brought something within her in her magic backpack. A bulky cylinder made out of black iron, standing upon four legs, with a thick wooden handle. Wait, no way, was this -

  "I know it's a bit early," she said, "But this is my wedding present to you two. A magic smoker of my own devising. Now you can make that brisket you're always going on about, and the best part is that it's completely portable. Even when the food is blazing hot, you won't burn yourself touching the outside because the material is dimensionally transcendent. However, that’s not even the best part: it remembers flavor.”

  Huh? “Remembers flavor? How do you mean?”

  “There’s a bit of pattern magic built into the smoker. Watch.”

  She activated the device; through a small window I could see that coals beginning to heat up. It was the same charcoal I’d been using, made from the trees growing at the edge of the Anaura Forest.

  Sylfaena touched a rune on the smoker, and said “Recall Flavor: Applewood.”

  After a few more moments, I realized that the aroma had taken on a sweet and fruity aroma.

  “Of course,” said Sylfaena, “Nothing is stopping you from doing it the old fashioned way and adding applewood chips yourself - but if you find something you like you have but to touch the other rune and speak the command Store Flavor followed by whatever name you wish to designate. Since I know you’re going to ask, the wood I used comes from one of Kurvania’s apple orchards.”

  Ha, she was right. This was amazing! Naturally, I decided to try it out immediately and of course Sylfaena was our first taste test subject. Ah, I get it, this was her plan from the get-go. Because it was already fairly late in the day I couldn’t try it on anything too big so I decided to smoke us up some potatoes as we still had quite a few left from Grimdark; oh right, I should plant these in the backyard, huh? Moving on. After just a couple of hours I served the smoked potatoes and the results spoke for themselves: it was like I’d snagged a piece of my former home with a lasso and reeled it in.

  But now that I had a smoker, this meant we needed to invite friends over for brisket dinner - Mal, Meli, and the White Wolves would be joining. Val was too busy on another training mission with Prince Illorien unfortunately, and Illiana’s eldest sisters were rather busy with courtly matters. As for Hanzo? He was still spending a lot of time with his counterparts from Cara and Andalon when he wasn’t working on his own wedding plans. Illiana was crucial in helping me find ingredients for barbeque sauce, and then we found the right sort of meat for the job - that beef from the four-horned cattle was perfect. Since good brisket takes about twelve hours to cook properly we scheduled our dinner party for the next day.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  Finally, at long last, after so many months, I finally managed to eat some real Texas barbequed brisket - with an elvish twist of course! As it had with the taters, Sylfaena's smoker worked on meat splendidly. I was in tears the whole time the meat was just melting in my mouth, serpentine strands of sumptuous scents wafted up from my plate filling my nostrils with pure passionate bliss, the flavor-filled juices coursing down my throat and warming me down to my very toes. I hereby declare Sylfaena best sister-in-law of all time.

  Dinner conversation was fairly basic, and everyone present was satisfied beyond belief - after dinner I brought out the southlands whiskey and made everyone old-fashioneds; oh yeah, I didn’t exactly have real bitters but I did manage to find an herbal tincture that was close enough. Incidentally, though I called dinner “over” there was still plenty of meat on the table and people were still nibbling on it.

  "I say," said Guy, "Thank you for your hospitality, old chap! One of these days I should like to have you two over at my family estate for a banquet of some sort. My mother and older sister can do things with upland bird that beggar belief - you’ll never find a pheasant more pleasant!"

  Selafyn pointed with his meat-filled fork. "What about that big tourney ya always hold mid-spring?"

  Guy smote the table, "Smashing idea! Won't you two come to Hylaria? Perhaps you could even enter the grand tournament!"

  I said, “I’d be delighted!”

  Guy said with a sweeping gesture, “Naturally, that goes for you all as well.”

  Rayna folded her arms and smirked, "I am always up for a challenge."

  Mal smiled, calculatingly, "Ah, the Contest of Champions - that might be inspiring. Say, Selafyn, doesn't your homeland have a robust tournament culture as well?"

  The swordsman had been mid-chewing when asked, and so he swallowed quickly, "Ah, yeah. Andalon prides itself on the martial prowess of its common citizenry and we do have several small tournaments but none of 'em are as popular as Brawnball."

  Now it was my turn to do a quizzical head tilt. "Brawnball?"

  "Oh right," said Selafyn, nodding, "You're not from this world, are ya. Allow me to explain, with pride, the national pastime of Andalon…"

  What Selafyn described was basically rugby - that, now that actually got me real invested. I had played a little rugby in college, casually, but never formally joined a team or been part of the official rugby club. That didn't stop me from watching games and cheering on team Chico, of course! Brawnball season was actually in full-swing at the moment and there was supposed to be a championship game in Andalon city soon, too.

  I turned to Illiana and said, "Well darling what do you think?"

  "It has been quite a while since I visited Andalon and I’ve never actually been to the capital before. Perhaps 'tis time for another trip? Not an adventure, mind, but, you know," she was blushing a little.

  "Like a date," I said, "A romantic getaway, no monsters, no dungeons, just you and me, huh?"

  I smiled, yeah I rather liked that idea - we had no idea where the Black Order was going to strike next, well, not until Hanzo got finished with those papers anyway. If something happened, Nenewyn or Sylfaena could send us a transmission and we'd be on our way back in no time flat!

  "Hmm," Said Selafyn, "It's been a while since I went home. Could I - er - beg a ride from you? I can get back here by myself on horse, naturally. Figure I'd like to say hi to ma' at least, treat cha guys to some of her signature stew. Man, she is not gonna believe me when I tell her I met the real Valyrian either!"

  Oh that's right. Selafyn's mother ran a tavern, didn't she? Gah! But everyone at the table was looking nervous - well, except Nenewyn; did nothing faze her? Meli was straight up whistling Dixie; she really does have eidetic memory, I only whistled that around her once! I reckoned she knew that if she didn't hold her tongue she'd blurt something out. Illiana went straight for another bite of brisket, and Sylfaena took a long sip of her extra sweet old fashioned. Lady Nenewyn was as unflappable as usual, keeping a straight face but, huh, glaring suspiciously at Selafyn. Mal was hiding what was doubtless a wide smirk behind folded fingers and Rayna was biting her lip subtly; oh, did she know? Ah, Mal must have told her - wait, that's it! Just the diversion we needed!

  "Er, so, Mal," I said, trying desperately to change the subject, "You and Rayna seem to be getting along pretty well - do I detect the subtle ring of wedding bells in your future?"

  Mal laughed, "Ah, well, you know cultural differences make that unlikely - for you see-"

  Rayna put in, "My family would never approve if I brought someone home who couldn't best me in single combat."

  Mal nodded. "We're already breaking a taboo, you see, by even having our little fling. ‘Tis only thanks to your special party hats that we even dare."

  Rayna folded her arms and nodded, "Besides, we're in different adventuring parties and eventually we'd need to part ways. Such is the lot of our kind."

  Guy cradled his chin, "Now one moment, who says that needs to be the case? There are only three of us now after all. Why not join forces for good, disband the white wolves and become part of Red Lightning?"

  The entire table went silent. None of us had thought of that before, it seemed. We'd been teamed up as an unofficial alliance for so long that we had sort of become used to it. The seven of us were a well-balanced crew who knew each other's strengths and weaknesses and we were all committed to fighting the Black Order if it ever cropped up again - like, good luck finding any random adventurers who aren't solely in it for the money, right? Besides which we’d formed fast friendships with them and more - Selafyn was Illiana’s nephew, not to mention whatever was going on between Rayna and Mal. Imean I know they're just having fun right now but it could get serious, you know.

  "Ultimately," Rayna said, eyes closed, "that decision would lie with me, would it not? I shall have to give it some consideration. I will admit that the idea has merit, but it isn't a choice that I would take lightly."

  Selafyn groaned, "Either way, I still got no idea how I'm supposed to spend my share of what we plundered from the Black Order. Ne-ne, did you really need to peel the gold plating off of the ancient Gaian frescos, too?"

  Nenewyn sipped her tea and said, smugly, "No half measures, those were my orders."

  Huh? So she's Ne-ne now?

  Meli chirped, "Well, have you considered an investment in magical research?"

  “Huh, no I hadn’t…” Selafyn seemed lost in thought again. “What about you, Guy?”

  Guy said "I for one will be making hefty tithes to the church of St. Luca and upgrading such pieces of my equipment that I can…" He snapped his fingers, a lightbulb practically manifesting. "Ah, perhaps you can have some powerful new magical swords made - a complete set like Prince Valyrian's!"

  Selafyn swallowed, "Huh, like my old man's? Sure." He shrugged and took another bite of brisket.

  Over the course of the history of sudden dinner time outbursts there had been five that were rated the loudest, the most resounding, and the most cathartic - this one left them all behind.

  "You knew?", we all cried out at once; okay, I lied, Nenewyn remained calm, smirking.

  "So that's how it was," said she, "I was beginning to suspect that you were only playing dumb"

  Selafyn scratched the back of his head and grinned, "Was it the fact that I kept kicking your ass at chess?"

  Nenewyn pressed her specs and nodded, "Such ass that I even possess to have kicked."

  Huh? I had no idea those two played chess together. Guy didn't seem surprised, no, he was doing one of those "ah, makes sense" nods - I reckoned perhaps he was starting to guess but didn't wish to say anything. Selafyn went on to explain that he had, indeed, known the whole time, and that everyone in his town knew. Basically, we got played - his ass was so buying the next time we went out for drinks! Turned out that he decided to pull the trigger on letting us in on it because we were taking him to meet his mother, so, yeah I suppose that made sense. The subject of absorbing the White Wolves didn't come up again that night, oh it would come up again later but for now we had something else to think about. Illiana and I had made our decision about what to do next:

  A casual road trip to Andalon!