Onlookers watched as the Lord of Hells emerged from the infernal portal. Between his flaming crown, his massive fifteen-foot height, his leathery wings, his sharp teeth and body matted with fur, he was a sight of pure terror. His glowing eyes scanned the clearing as he reeked of an awful smell, something sour and stomach-churning. His heavy steps crackled and echoed through the peaceful forest.

  He looked across the orchard and saw his troops lazily walking about, not attacking or destroying a single thing. He loomed over the calm environment as, with a note of fear, players and AI alike looked upon him with trepidation.

  "Who dares invite Morlax the Devourer to a picnic?" he roared.

  His general, Veloura, put her face in her palm; she clearly disagreed with his phrasing. Still, he pressed on. "I shall destroy this world, devour it, and shit it out like I have done with many worlds before!"

  Noobkitty, the cat-woman, simply waved her hand dismissively. "Try the pastries first. Then, if you're still hungry, we can discuss eating the world."

  Grizzlebeard, the dwarf, chimed in, "If ye just eat her sweet bunny food, ye won't get full enough. Better off just eatin' the grass now. But I have brought some things that will actually stick to yer ribs!"

  The cat shook her head, seemingly good-natured despite the insult to her baking.

  "Crafters, don't fight! The boundless gluttony of Morlax the Devourer will have plenty of room to eat all you've brought and the world itself," Veloura said, hovering near the demon lord.

  Morlax looked down at her and whispered, "They don't seem terrified."

  As he said that, the cat-girl appeared to be asking the dwarf if he had remembered to bring the grilled carrots.

  "It’s kind of fourth-wall-breaking," Veloura explained. "The dwarf is an AI, the cat-girl is a downloaded player, and her girlfriend is the world’s Admin."

  "That seems a bit unfair," Morlax grumbled. He looked to the players who were joining the picnic and spotted HnyThsl, the cow-woman, talking with the bees and preparing jars of honey with them.

  "You! Cow-girl!" Morlax bellowed. "Bring me your finest honey or I shall rip your flesh from you like a wrapping and scrape your muscles off their bones with my teeth!"

  HnyThsl blinked. "Okay."

  She seemed a little scared, but she approached and offered him a fresh jar of honey regardless. He tasted it and immediately wished he had brought some gin instead of dark rum.

  "Oh, that is really good," he admitted, his voice dropping. "Do you mind if I keep this jar? I'd like to try it in a few things."

  "Morlax, more menacing!" Veloura demanded. "We talked about this!"

  He blushed and reset himself. "I mean... I shall take this offering and have it with my infernal intoxicant!"

  The jar disappeared into his inventory, and a swarm of bees immediately rushed his face to complain. They poked his eyes for no damage, crawled into his nose, and made full nuisances of themselves. He sputtered and scowled.

  "Okay, okay! What if I offer a trade? I brought drinks!"

  He summoned a long table from his inventory along with the self-serve drink jugs and his condiments. The bees examined the table and, as a group, took a sugar-covered caramelized strawberry back to their hive. With that distraction over, he tried to remember what he was going to say.

  "Mortals! I have brought libations to tempt your souls and destroy your ability to negotiate for your world!" He pointed to his red Mojito jug. "And the other one is free of spirits, but I brought a lovely black-powder rum to add to it for a kick, and a white rum if you want to get a small buzz and keep the original flavor. There are skewers for fruit; the pineapple wedges pair well with both drinks, and..."

  "Morlax," Veloura screamed. "MENACING!"

  "I think that went out the window when I got defeated by bees! Besides, how am I supposed to make grilled pineapple menacing?"

  Noobkitty approached and poured herself a drink. It was the non-alcoholic one, the Fallen Heroine. She raised the glass and said, "Welcome, Demon Lord. Shall we do business or pleasure first?"

  "Business," demanded Veloura.

  Morlax shook his head. "Yes, business. Then we can enjoy the picnic until the drinks run out."

  Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

  ExpertBunny stepped up, grabbed herself a Mojito, and said, "Administrator privilege: Work Space."

  The world shifted. Most of the players disappeared, and the forest became more sparse, stripped of its fruit trees. They were somewhere else.

  ----

  The demon woman tried to attack, but nothing happened. She raged as her claws simply passed through the Noobkitty. She then turned to ExpertBunny, but still, nothing happened. She was frustrated and had no way to hurt others to show for it.

  "No punching during a business meeting," said Morlax. He pulled a bottle of rum from his inventory and took a sip.

  Noobkitty looked to the cow-girl, whose player name read HnyThsl. "What is she doing here?"

  "She activated the portal and helped suggest the demons talk to the Admin; also, we could use a normal player's perspective," said ExpertBunny. She then looked across the table to the two demons and considered. "So, you're not happy?"

  "We were promised a demon fight. We are meant to be this world's big fight and struggle; now we're a joke," demanded Veloura.

  "Well, the deal was made to make the world more interesting, and he feels like this is interesting," said the Admin.

  "Where is he? Let me talk to the world AI."

  ExpertBunny shook her head. "He wants to see what happens."

  "So he won't do anything? He wants us to squirm?" said the succubus, her anger rising even further.

  "For you to be creative," clarified Noobkitty.

  Seething, the demoness glared at the cat. "I was creative! I had plans, I had an army, I had quests lined up! I had intrigue, espionage, chaos, a plan to set your little town ablaze inside and out," she growled.

  Morlax sipped his rum; it had a nice burn and a very smoky taste. "I'm a demon. What am I supposed to do? Open a bakery?"

  HnyThsl tapped Morlax and got a sip from the rum bottle. She choked; it was coded too strong, and that burn was just excessive.

  "Maybe not a bakery, but we could use other crafts. How do you feel about art supplies or armor pieces?" asked ExpertBunny in full seriousness.

  "Your forest is too cold," said Morlax. "We're acclimatized to a hotter temp; we've been in a hell for a while."

  HnyThsl nodded. "The town is just as cold, especially while it's still winter."

  ExpertBunny pulled up the current map. "We have a desert; that's warmer."

  "Yes! Let us move the portal to the desert. We can start our demon army in the desert," said Veloura.

  "Kinda boring. It's mostly just sand and monsters right now," said HnyThsl to her own surprise. She had only had a sip; why were her inhibitions already affected?

  "It's a demon army! It's not meant to be fun!" griped Veloura.

  Morlax nodded. "Yes, I don't want my kingdom in just sand." He looked at the map. "Is there a volcano in the north?"

  "Not yet," said the Admin. "We'll see what players want. Right now, there's a town supposed to be started there."

  "It's cold and also boring," said HnyThsl. She decided "F-it," she was buzzed; she would just say what she wanted.

  "We're working on it, and the desert is having ancient dungeons built as we speak," said ExpertBunny.

  "That could work. We could start the demon uprising from a dungeon," said Veloura. This idea could work; the armies could be built, and they could turn a dungeon into a castle and...

  "How about the beach?" asked Morlax.

  "Its weather varies by location, but the south beach has hot weather all year long. We wanted players to always have a beach spot to visit," said ExpertBunny.

  "Oooh, we need a beach town," said HnyThsl. She tapped Morlax for another sip of rum, and he shook his head. He whispered, "There's a better drink at the picnic."

  "Would you two consider starting a player town?" asked Noobkitty. "We could use another one, and I kinda love the idea of demon NPCs."

  Veloura put her hands to her head. "We have an army, not bakers!"

  "I mean, I could just respec them," offered Morlax.

  "Not helping! We aren't opening a town!" said the frustrated succubus.

  Morlax nodded. "Yes, a town is too much to start with. How about a hotel?"

  "A hotel?!?" screamed Veloura in rage.

  "Ooh, a beach resort would help inspire players to explore the coastal region," said Noobkitty.

  "I'd play with the crabs and fish if I had somewhere to get nice food, too. And a resort could offer things like spa and massage treatments," considered HnyThsl.

  "No massages," said the succubus, her concern about player lucidity obvious as her tail flicked and her breasts, unfortunately, bounced a little.

  "You won't be giving massages; you're my second-in-command. I need you managing the staff," assured Morlax.

  She blinked and calmed down a little. "Who's giving the massages and taking care of players then?" she asked.

  "The demon mobs, of course. I'll just change some to be appropriate for the job some wispy and cute, some big and muscular. We'll need to design uniforms," said Morlax, considering it.

  ExpertBunny nodded. "We have a visiting seamstress; maybe she could help."

  "Visiting seamstress?" asked Noobkitty.

  "She just logged in. One of your sisters. She's at the picnic talking with your other sister."

  Morlax sighed. "Are we missing the picnic? Are people enjoying my drinks?"

  "We seem close to a deal. Are you two okay with a demonic beach spa?" asked ExpertBunny.

  "So, no demon war?" asked Veloura, concerned.

  "Let's try this beach resort thing. It gives me a reason to mix drinks for players. We can always build an army and attack from the warm beach later," suggested Morlax.

  "I want an army always on standby," demanded Veloura.

  ExpertBunny pressed a few things in the air near her, and she nodded.

  The world AI then spoke: "I am willing to let the demon portal be moved for this."

  "You won't just move it yourself?" asked Veloura.

  "No. You'll have to move it and make a pilgrimage to the beach," said the world. "It'll make good lore."

  ExpertBunny nodded. "Deal it is then." She gave town-building permissions and a UI to Veloura and Morlax. "You have until the end of the picnic to decide on a name for your spa, or it'll be sent to fans to vote on."

  Noobkitty laughed. "Careful. Players love meme names."

  Morlax nodded and looked to his concerned demonic general. "It'll be fun."

  "You just want to be a mixologist," griped the demoness.

  "I'll be the best in the world," said the demon lord with a grin.

  "Oh, speaking of," said ExpertBunny.

  World Announcement: The class Mixologist has been unlocked!

  Morlax grinned, seeing his Level 1 player level and skill list.

  "What! That's not fair! I'm still Level 0 and still have to unlock my Druid class," griped HnyThsl.

  ExpertBunny laughed a little. "Do more Druid things. Until then, try one of his mixed drinks and then tell me if him getting his class is unfair."