"Anibeli, are you calm yet?" I call through the door. I hear her mutter, and sigh. "It's been weeks, dear." I say. She mutters again.

  I sigh internally. The door is unlocked, and I could go in, but It may start her going again. I pause, then grab the thing off my back. My scarab flips in my palm, it's legs turning it so it's ocular faces me. I... Have an idea.

  "Anibeli, I got you something." I say. She mutters, and I giggle sinisterly. Well, any vocalization from me sounds sinister, so potato tomato. I am the picture of kindness. "Well, dear. If you won't come out, my gift will go to you." I say, smile evident in my voice.

  I open the door, and lower the scarab to the ground. It rapidly scuttled inside, and I closed the door again. I could watch the ensuing chaos, but listening was far more fun.

  "mumblemumbleSCREECH yelling yelling CRACK yelling SCREECH"

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  I was on the floor, dying from laughter. This was great! Better then the plays the nobles watched! Oh, dead gods hahahaha!

  Anibeli comes flying out of the room in her underclothes, yelling incoherently. The scarab scuttled out, and with a thought, it crawls onto the back of my hand.

  Anibeli watches me, still laughing but getting up, and begins cursing me out. "NEZEKIRI WHAT IN THE GOD EMPEROR'S GOLDEN SHITTER WAS THAT FUCKING THING?!"

  'Hehehehe... Oh.... Oh, dear, Anibeli. It- it was just a scarab. Just-just a scarab... I was going to lend it to you, to be your pet but-! YOU RAN HAHAHAHAHA"

  "...pet?"

  I stop laughing. "Yes. This scarab can act as your pet. I just request that you feed it scrap metal. Do that, and it's yours." I say.

  "...ok" She says in a small voice, face read. I say her smiling though, ever so slightly. Huh. I... didn't expect this honestly. I thought I was just going to shock her into being herself, but... a pet? That was the answer? The hell?

  I begin tweaking the scarab, changing who could give it orders. It took a full second, but when I had the scarab the way I wanted, I tossed it to her. It flew on grav engines and two hyper elastic wings, and landed softly on anibeli's hand.

  She looked down, and smiled. She began petting(?) the scarab, much to my consternation. "What did you want, Nez? I think I heard you talking earlier but..." She said distractedly. I just stare, and shake my head.

  "Later, Anibeli. Just... later." I say, and walk out." This had not gone as expected...