Chloe reached the river with a delighted little skip, stopping just shy of the water’s edge. But the best part? Three mostly intact corpses were gently bobbing their way downstream.
She couldn't have been happier. It wasn't everyday that a zombie could just get free brains without much effort.
Without a moment’s hesitation, she waded into the water, sloshing through the mud as she grabbed the nearest body by the arm and dragged it onto the bank. The other two followed with only a bit more effort, though one lost a boot along the way, which she found oddly hilarious.
Once they were all laid out in a heap, Chloe crouched beside them, rubbing her hands together in glee. Three fresh brains, right here, delivered straight to her. It really was her lucky day.
She didn’t waste any time. The first skull cracked open under her hands, and she leaned in, ready for a juicy, delicious bite.
Except instead of feeling good, Chloe made a face like she had eaten a rock. Blegh! What is this?! It's all bitter and squishy in the wrong ways!
She spit out what was left, and flung the rest of the brain into the river with a full-armed chuck. It landed with a sad little splash.
Chloe squinted suspiciously at the next corpse, her lips curling into a faint pout. Maybe she’d just gotten unlucky with the last one. Maybe that guy had been extra rotten, stuffed full of bad thoughts. The kind of gross, slimy thoughts that made a brain taste wrong.
Chloe shrugged and leaned in with renewed optimism, cracking open the second skull. Brain number two looked fine enough. She bit in… and immediately made a face like she’d accidentally bitten into a rock again, only this one was somehow also sour.
“Ewww!” Chloe groaned, gagging and spitting the mess out beside her.
With a disgusted grunt, Chloe grabbed the rest of the brain and hurled it into the river, harder this time. It bounced off a rock and flopped into the water with a wet plop. That one had tasted absolutely awful too.
She scowled at the third corpse like it had personally offended her. Maybe free brains were too good to be true. Maybe there was something weird about these people. Why else would their brains taste so bad?
She gave the bodies another once-over, hoping for some kind of clue, but nothing stood out. They looked completely normal. Just boring, plain faced humans. Even their clothes were dull, no armor, no swords, not even a belt pouch in sight.
Then it clicked. These humans didn’t look like adventurers at all.
Chloe guessed that had to be the reason why their brains didn't taste good. Their brains were gross because they were weak. Like, regular people weak. And maybe her tongue had just gotten fancy now.
Maybe she was too special for normal brains now. She needed the brains of strong humans, the good stuff. Adventurers. Warriors. Mages. Especially mages.
Chloe glanced at the last corpse still bobbing lazily near the shore and wrinkled her nose. She’d already been disappointed twice, there was no way she was risking a third.
She flopped back on the grass. The river gurgled beside her, washing away all her hopes.
Until suddenly, Chloe heard the sound of boots crashing through brush, and one particularly dramatic grunt. She turned her head and smiled.
Baron Willy finally emerged from the treeline. He was hunched over and breathing heavily.
Chloe waved at him. “Heyyy! What took you so long?"
William straightened as if trying to reclaim some dignity, but that lasted all of three seconds. His eyes flicked towards the corpses nearby and froze.
The Baron opened his mouth, then closed it. He looked from her to the corpses, then back again. His face drained of color so fast Chloe thought he might faint.
She glanced down too, then back at him. “Oh, these are—”
A strangled noise cut her off as William doubled over and puked into the grass. Chloe just stared, completely baffled. Why was he dumping out stuff from his stomach? What a waste.
“Uh… what are you doing?”
William didn’t answer, too busy emptying his stomach. After a while, he wiped his mouth with a frilly white thing Chloe didn’t recognize and stood up proper. “I… am quite all right."
Chloe’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t look fine, not even close, but humans were weird like that. So, she didn't ask any questions.
William drew in a deep breath, adjusted his clothes, and stepped forward on unsteady legs. He approached the nearest corpse, crouching low as his gaze swept over mangled flesh and shredded fabric. “These wounds are unmistakable. Yes… the bite patterns, the crude rips, this was no banditry. This was the work of goblins. Vicious little fiends. And to think they’ve started cracking open heads now? How ghastly. My word.”
Chloe perked up. “What’s a goblin?”
“You don’t know what a goblin is?”
“Is it like… a weird human?”
“No. No, not even remotely. Goblins are vile, wretched things. Small, green-skinned creatures with twisted faces and jagged teeth. Filthy, aggressive, utterly without culture or decorum. They infest caves, ruin roads, and set upon travelers like starving rats. And if they’re this close to the river, then the village, oh gods, the village!”
The Baron spun on his heel and pointed upriver. “There’s a very high chance the goblins have burned their meager fields to cinders and dragged off the survivors. Possibly for eating. Or worse.”
Chloe tilted her head and squinted upriver. “So... maybe we should avoid the village?”
“No! Absolutely not! We must go to their aid, immediately! To walk away now would be a stain upon my family’s honor! The Everhart legacy has endured wars, revolutions, political betrayals, and one regrettable dinner with the Duchess of Morwynn, but we have never fled from danger. That's because…”
Chloe stood still, fighting the urge to yawn. All this talk about goblins had clearly gotten the Baron worked up.
To be fair, goblins did sound sort of interesting. She wondered if they were fuzzy. And if their brains tasted weird. More importantly, what if goblin brains actually tasted good?
“Are you even listening to me?” William snapped suddenly.
She blinked, caught off guard. “Yes! Yep. Definitely."
He gave her a long, suspicious look, then huffed and turned back toward the river. “Then we must make haste! There may still be survivors, and I, for one, will not let this village fall without a fight!”
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With that, Baron Willy marched upstream. Chloe lingered where she was, staring after him with a puzzled frown. Had she agreed to this? It felt like she had. Probably. Maybe.
She glanced after him, then at the bodies, then back upriver. Chloe still wasn’t sure if she wanted to go along with William, but in the end, she followed him anyway. If nothing else, she wanted to see what a goblin actually looked like.
***
Chloe crouched behind a tree, branches poking her in places she didn’t appreciate. William huddled beside her, hiding behind a bush.
“There, that’s the village.” The Baron said.
Chloe squinted through the underbrush. A handful of wooden buildings sat clustered near the river. Smoke drifted lazily from somewhere deeper in.
Soon, she spotted movement. Small figures scuttled between the buildings. Short, hunched things with lanky limbs and greenish skin. Their arms were too long for their bodies. Their ears jutted out like jagged knives, twitching at every sound. Some clutched rusted weapons, while others hauled sagging sacks that left dark, wet trails across the ground as they moved. Whatever those things were, one thing was certain, they were most likely not human.
She pointed. “Those little green ones, are those the goblins?”
William nodded grimly. “Yes. I’m afraid so.”
Chloe squinted harder as she watched one of the goblins struggle to carry a sack twice its size. Its knees wobbled. Another tripped over its own oversized feet and face planted into a mud puddle. “They don’t really look that strong, kinda floppy, honestly.”
William sighed beside her. “Individually they’re weak and disorganized. But goblins in numbers? That’s where the danger lies. A swarm like this could easily overwhelm a village. But what really concerns me is that they’re here in numbers at all. Goblins don’t gather like this on their own. Which means…”
“Ooooh, does it mean they're being led by a goblin queen? Or maybe a goblin king?”
“Erm, something of that sort, yes. A goblin shaman to be precise. They are an especially cunning goblin capable of wielding dark magic. One of the few things clever enough to organize a raid of this scale. If there's one here, it’s likely calling the shots from somewhere nearby.”
Chloe’s eyes lit up in an instant. Magic meant one thing to her, brains that were rich, powerful, and absolutely delicious.
“Okay so, where’s this goblin shaman? I want that one.”
“You likely won’t see it until it’s needed. Goblin Shamans only emerge when they must, or when they sense real danger. If you draw enough attention, eliminate enough of the rabble, the shaman will have no choice but to come out.”
“Got it. Leave it to me.”
“Wait, Chloe, be careful—!”
But Chloe was already gone. She hopped to her feet and skipped through the brush, humming a little tune as she strolled straight toward the goblin infested village. Excitement crackled through her, she could almost taste it already. That shaman’s brain was definitely going to be something special.
Chloe stepped into the village with swagger. Her boots squelched lightly in the mud as she walked straight down the main path, past abandoned carts and broken fences. Goblins scuttled in the shadows between buildings. A few of them saw her.
A pair of goblins popped out from behind a stack of crates, snarling. One raised a rusted cleaver; the other pulled out a crude spear. A third, further back, nocked an arrow to a shortbow with a trembling hand.
Chloe burst out laughing. “Awwww, look at ‘em! They're so tiny! You guys seriously raid villages? With those teeny arms?”
Her grin stretched wider, right up until the third goblin loosed its arrow. The shot flew wide at first, but then curved just enough to hit right into her shoulder.
“HEY! So not cool!” Chloe snarled, yanking the arrow out with a wet pop and tossing it aside.
She dashed to the first goblin, kicking it in the chest with a satisfying crunch as it flew backward into a fence post. Before the second could react, she drove her blade straight through its gut.
[You have killed: Goblin Marauder (Level 5)]
[You have killed: Goblin Marauder (Level 6)]
[Experience Awarded]
The third goblin, the little shooter, had scrambled behind a barrel and was already readying to fire another arrow. It loosed with a little fwip!, but Chloe sidestepped easily, the shot whizzing past her ear.
She stomped over, ignoring the next arrow that pinged off her side. With a quick hop, Chloe vaulted the barrel and slammed her fist down on the goblin’s head.
Chloe dusted her knuckles off on her tunic, then looked up just in time to see about half a dozen or so goblins pouring out of nearby buildings. They screeched and howled, waving rusted blades and makeshift clubs, while two more in the back raised their bows.
“Ohhh no, I’m sooo scared,” she said, cupping her hands around her mouth. “Come at me, ya stinky goblins!”
And to their credit, they did. The goblins charged with all their might, though Chloe noted that these creatures really must not be very smart.
Arrows zipped past her head, but one hit into the back of a goblin’s thigh. That goblin spun around, furious, and stabbed the shooter in the chest before realizing they were on the same side.
Chloe bit her lip, trying hard not to laugh. It took her a few seconds to remind herself that she still needed to continue fighting these small green creatures.
She cut through the first two goblins; one went down gurgling, the other didn’t even have time to scream. A third goblin lunged at her, but tripped over its own feet. Chloe stabbed that one too.
Some of the smarter goblins, well, less dumb, turned and tried to flee. Chloe squinted, raised her finger, and took aim.
A small stone whipped from the ground and shot through the air, slamming into the back of the first goblin’s skull. It dropped dead instantly.
She pivoted. Another stone cracked into the second one’s ribs.
One last goblin was almost to the tree line when Chloe lazily flicked her wrist and fired off a Rock Shot. Bye bye.
[You have killed: Goblin Marauder (Level 5)]
[You have killed: Goblin Marauder (Level 5)]
[...]
[You have killed: Goblin Marauder (Level 6)]
[Experience Awarded]
[Skill Upgraded: Rock Shot IV >> Rock Shot V]
After all that, Chloe kicked open the door of the next building, expecting more goblins to come flying at her. But the room inside was mostly quiet.
However, against the far wall stood a strange, raised rectangle draped in soft looking cloth. A human boy was chained to it, his arms stretched and bound to the posts like some shiny prize no one wanted stolen.
Chloe tilted her head, staring at the strange thing with open curiosity. It kind of looked like a really fancy eating table, all soft and dressed up. Then a word Baron Willy had once tossed at her bubbled up "bed." Yeah, that was it. Supposedly humans used it to… sleep. Whatever that was. It sounded boring.
She crept closer, squinting at it. The boy flinched at first, eyes wide with fear, looking her up and down. “Did you… did you beat up all those goblins outside?”
Chloe let out a proud smile. “Yup! Totally splattered ‘em! Soooo, why are you all chained up?”
The boy gaped at her, then broke into a bright, hopeful grin. “Wow, miss! You’re amazing! You gotta be a hero! Please, help us!”
“Woah, woah, slow down. What’s a hero?” Chloe asked.
He looked utterly baffled, like she’d just asked him to explain what dirt was. The stare made Chloe feel weird, the kid didn’t need to look at her like that for asking a question.
“Uh… a hero is someone who saves people. And fights bad guys. They’re super cool. Everyone loves them!”
The word cool stuck with her. Chloe liked being cool, she already was, obviously. But the idea of becoming even cooler definitely caught her interest. And if all it took to be super cool was being a hero? That seemed like an easy choice to her.
She leaned in, grinning wide. “If I help the village, will everybody think I’m a hero too?”
The boy nodded quickly. “Of course! Even if they don’t, I’ll definitely tell everyone about you!”
“Alright! I’m gonna go do this whole saving the village thing then."
“Wait! Um… could you maybe get these chains off me first?”
Chloe paused, turned, and shrugged. “Sure, why not.”
Part of her wasn’t entirely sure why she was even bothering to save this random kid. But... he had been pretty nice to her. And he’d basically called her cool, that was reason enough on its own. Besides, the kid looked weak. His brain probably wouldn’t have tasted good anyway.
Chloe sauntered back with a little swing in her step, grabbed one of the iron shackles, and tore it open like it was nothing. Then the next. And the next. Metal clattered to the floor in a heap, and the boy just sat there, staring and rubbing his wrists like his brain couldn’t catch up.
She gave him a thumbs up. “Okay! Don’t go anywhere. I gotta go be awesome now.”
