Leaving the store, Gray and Rynn went to the cup game wall. They leaned against the dusty brick as they talked.

  Gray stood with his hands on his hips. “Look, Rynn, I’m going to go to the Pleasure Market. You don’ have to go come with me.”

  Rynn’s eyes widened, and she blushed. “Why the Pleasure Market? What…did the Widow Stone say something? What did you and Captain Sevanya do there?

  Gray laughed “It was all very innocent. Trust me. We didn’t go there to buy, or even window shop. We went there merely to walk around to see if I had a Lust Resonance. You don’t have to come with me. You can wait here, or I can walk you back to First Field and then come back.”

  Rynn gave him a friendly punch. “I would be just fine walking back to First Field alone. You know I can handle myself in a fight.”

  “Better than many of the gladiators I’ve known.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Rynn said. She then opened her mouth to say more, but stopped herself.

  Gray gave her a long look.

  She sighed. “I’m not going to ramble. We’ll go. It’s fine.”

  “It will be. All I have to do is wave a fan around. If you’re looking for something more salacious, I have bad news for you.”

  She sighed and gave him a sly look. “And I was hoping to see you naked.”

  His eyes widened.

  “I’m kidding, Mr. No. Let’s go.”

  On the way, they wandered by Gargonzola’s Counter, and there was the goblin, serving up pasta and wine. He saw them and waved, and Gray waved back.

  For once, the violet-eyed woman wasn’t there. It’s funny, but Gray missed her presence. She’d taken such an interest in him, and yet, she never came by to talk with them. The world was a strange place, where most people would go to their graves strangers. It made the connections even more precious.

  They went to the left and Gray retraced his steps to the red lights glowing in the windows. He went back to the park, and there, found the bench. Like before, they could hear the cries of ecstasy through the open windows.

  The air felt even hotter there…for obvious reasons. The yellow mana mist hung in the air, and he could see the benefits of being a lust resonant in such a place.

  Rynn sat on the bench.

  Gray had so many questions about the place, how the people had sex without bonding, that kind of thing.

  Rynn must’ve seen his confusion. “I think you have questions. Maybe I can answer some of them without going into too much detail.”

  Gray sat down, holding the fan and the red silk scarf in his lap. “I am curious about one thing.”

  Her smile was impish, “How can people be having relations without having the cores bond?”

  He nodded. “You guessed my question on the first try.”

  “It’s mostly looking, some touching, but no actual, you know, physical contact as far as those…parts are concerned. Even the mouth part.” She winced. “I’m explaining his very poorly. It is a touching.” She made a stroking motion. “Or this.” She made a another motion, simulating how one could use hands on a woman. She laughed. “As you can see, this is not where my resonance would bring me, not that I would discuss such a thing.”

  Gray nodded. “I think I get what you are saying. There is a thrill in merely looking, and in some touching. The Widow Stone said she could no longer bond with anyone after losing her husband. Is that common?”

  “Very common,” Rynn agreed. “It’s sad. Bonding is so strange. Some bond and are happy for the rest of their lives. Others have bonds that are so deep, even when the couple loathe each other, they can’t break it. It’s risky. Happy bonds happen, but then, death is ever at risk. My parents have a deep affection, and they are bonded, and for me, seeing them, I believe that I shouldn’t even try. I would only be disappointed. Bonding and sex are dangerous, Grayson Fade, more dangerous than First Field.”

  “How so?” he asked.

  “Death is death. The body dies, a person ‘s life is over, and they might journey on to the afterlife, or they might not. It is a simple thing. Misery, however, comes in a rainbow of flavors. First Field might make us miserable with the noise, and scorpions, and heat, and bad food, but it is temporary. Death is a permanent but simple. But a bad bond? Oh, Gray, there are a million stories of tragedy there. A million flavors of misery. It makes me not want to risk it.”

  “Me either,” he agreed. “I’ve known sex without bonds, and it’s fun, but sometimes, I wanted…I wanted that connection. Without it, it can feel… empty.”

  He thought of how easy it was to steal from Princess Liliann. It shouldn’t have been. They’d spent so much time together. And yet, it was his way out. Again, he found himself wondering how she had handled his betrayal. He probably would never know. But the fate of Blind John, that he would find out no matter what.

  “Some of the bondless—those who lost their husband or wife—do find work in the Pleasure Market,” Rynn said. “It makes me feel sad, though. They were hurt so bad, and now they sell their bodies, sometimes for a lot of money, but still, isn’t the joy of sex connection?”

  He chuckled. “Sometimes. And sometimes the joy of sex is pure lust, and the heart has very little do with it.”

  She laughed. “That’s right. People in the Null Breaks have these analogies about the heart. The heart is an organ that pumps blood. It doesn’t hold who we are any more than a hand or a toe. But the core, the soul, that is eternal. That will go on.”

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  “So no one in the Null Breaks will go to the afterlife? Heaven? Hell? A place of water and stars?”

  “Maybe not, but I shudder to think that the gods would be so cruel. You didn’t choose to be born in the Nursery Islands. Neither did anyone else. It was mere luck that I was born in the Crown to a good family, rich, powerful, unmerciful.”

  Rynn sat there, not moving, just staring into space.

  “What do you mean unmerciful?” he asked.

  “Maybe I used the wrong word,” she said, her voice breathy. “Maybe I mean my family is driven. They have little patience for those who don’t strive to win at any cost.”

  “Unmerciful,” he said quietly. “I understand the type. In the arena, there wasn’t much mercy. Those who didn’t improve generally died. I was the exception.”

  “Because of your heart.”

  He nodded. “An organ that pumps blood. My heart didn’t pump too well. I couldn’t survive using my body, so I had to survive using my brain, an organ that creates thoughts. I found my place, and I defended it, and I proved to be too useful to cast out. That is how I’ll be on the squad. I will be your ocean of mana, too valuable for you to let anything happen to me.”

  “That is what the captain wants.”

  Rynn again lapsed into silence.

  Gray got out the fan. “Could you stand up for a moment? I need to fan the air three times to collect the mana.”

  Rynn got up and stood off to the side, frowning. She was staring at him intently as he went to where he and Captain Sette had their first and only kiss.

  He spread out the fan, waved it once, and watched as the white paper got brighter even as the pink flowers faded away. Then the white fan glowed yellow, but that yellow got darker and darker, turning from gold to a maroon, as he swept it through the air, once, twice, three times. In the end, the fan turned the color of dried blood.

  He closed the fan with a click.

  Rynn stood scowling, her brow furrowed. Behind her, a window opened, and topless woman leaned out, laughing. Turning, a man grabbed her breasts, which made her giggle. The pair retreated. While that couple were having a good time, the elf girl clearly wasn’t.

  “What wrong?” Gray asked.

  Rynn shook her head.

  Gray went to her, thinking to maybe touch her hand, but she shied away.

  Gray saw the pain in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Rynnanatha.”

  She shrugged, tears in her eyes.

  “You don’t want to talk because if you talk, you’ll ramble. Is that right?”

  Another nod.

  “It’s okay, Miss Yes. I don’t mind your rambling. Not one bit.”

  She burst out at once. “My Aunt Florence dated a man half her age, and it was scandalous, and we knew nothing would happen because she’d already lost her husband, but we worried about what that might do to the family because of course, we always think of the family first. I totally understand the politics of the Watchfire Families, I really do, because I’m part of a powerful family, and I think Father would love for us to rule an entire city. And maybe that will happen, but that responsibility rests on me and what I can do. I can’t get into trouble. I don’t want to judge you, and I can’t judge Captain Sevanya. She’s so powerful, and I’m so honored, but I’m disappointed in her. My Aunt Florence, she kissed that man, in public. It was a scandal. Did anyone see you kiss Captain Sevanya?”

  “How do you know we kissed?” Gray asked.

  “No!” Rynn stepped up to him. “You don’t get to deny it. Either you kissed, or did more, because you have the connection. You’re going to get through the wards, and I’ll be alone, in that horrid room. I won’t get to see your dog.” Then she started to cry softly.

  Watching her tears fall broke Gray’s heart.

  He took her in his arms and held her. It was no mystery of why she was crying. They’d become fast friends then best friends and in another world, they would have been more. But circumstances were against them.

  To think, in this world, a simple kiss could cause so much trouble both with Rynn and with Settie. Gray hadn’t forgotten the dragon woman’s reaction.

  Her words echoed in the air. No, no, you precious, precious boy. No.

  Then she’d wept just as Rynn was weeping.

  There was a certain amount of irony there.

  Rynn pressed her face into his chest. “I want to know what it’s like.” She’d stopped crying and was trying to catch her breath.

  “What are you saying, Miss Yes? I don’t follow.”

  She pulled back to look into his face. Her eyes were so big and watery. Being so close to her core felt like standing in sunshine.

  “I want to know what it’s like to kiss a boy. There will never be another like you, Grayson Fade, and it breaks my heart. To use an analogy you would understand. I would go with you, I would break through the Captain’s Wards with you, I’d even give myself to you, but I can’t. I just…can’t.”

  Then she was back to holding him, tightly, crying again.

  He felt her conflict, and he hated that she was hurting so much. He felt the bitterness. In such a wretched world, even magic was hollow and useless. Around them were widows, selling their bodies, because they could never bond with anyone ever again.

  Had Princess Lilian cried such bitter tears after he’d stolen the ruby necklace from her?

  He couldn’t fix that.

  But he could help the strange elf girl who was a series of contradictions. She seemed so fragile, and yet, was so tough. She seemed so weak, and yet, had a strength that amazed him. She was awkward, and rambling, and went from talking too much to talk too little.

  He eased her back and used his thumbs to brush her tears away. “Bonding isn’t a good idea, you’re right, but a little kiss wouldn’t destroy our lives, would it?”

  Her eyes smoldered as she stared into his. “It might. And we both know it. We shouldn’t tempt fate.”

  “Fuck fate,” Gray whispered. He slowly, gently took her head in his hands. Her short hair was so soft. He went from gazing into her eyes, to lookin at her perfect bow-shaped lips, and then his eyes found hers. “I would risk any number of wretched destinies to kiss you.”

  “Do it,” she murmured. “Let’s do it together.”

  He then pressed his lips against hers. Her lips were soft, her breath sweet, her smell like heaven itself. He felt her breasts press against him, but mostly, he felt her strength and power. They’d sparred so much, it was like her body was a part of him, and her desires amplified his own.

  The kiss deepened, and he found her offering him her tongue. He took it, and they explored each other, gasping, as they kiss stole away their breath. Gray had his eyes closed, but he could still sense the amount of mana they were generating. Or was that the lust energy in the air, swirling around them, being absorbed. It felt like perfect sunlight on them and in them.

  After their fight with Freek, his core wasn’t completely empty, but it was far from full, and her core had been depleted as well. And though neither had the lust resonance, he could feel their energies mingling.

  She broke the kiss, and Gray was glad she did, because if it had lasted on second longer, he would’ve picked her up and taken her to the nearest room. He was fairly certain finding a room in the Pleasure Market would be easy, and of course, he would be able to pay by the hour. What a strange place the Belly of the World was.

  He held her, with her face pressed against the front of his tunic, as they stood there for several long moments as their breath returned to normal.

  “I can’t do that again,” she whispered. “I’d betray everyone and everything to do more with you. I can’t be tempted like that.”

  “I understand. It was good. I’ve kissed a lot of girls, Rynn, including some I shouldn’t. It was the very best of kisses. Does that make our situation better or worse?”

  She laughed, sniffed back tears, and then laughed more. “Worse! So much worse!”

  He could only laugh along with her.

  She finally sobered. “I’ll be okay, Grayson Fade. I left my parents, my friends, my teachers, and traveled the length of the world to this city. I’ll survive you. In the end, it’s just another test for us, and we are both here to be tested. It’s why we’re in First Field after all.”

  “I want you to survive me,” he said, though he wasn’t sure if he was lying or not because the idea of bonding himself to this amazing elf girl was so tempting, and their connection was so deep and pure. It was magic all right, and he was beginning to understand just how deadly the seven instincts could be.