Chapter Thirty-Six – The Brutal Truth

  Gray was relieved that Settie had finally returned, but then the fear hit. It was time to face the dragon woman who was both ageless and timeless as well as hated throughout all of Pit City.

  Blind John used to say there are two kinds of people in the world—those who ask for permission and those who ask for forgiveness. Life was figuring out which kind you were, then trying to live the opposite way—because life wasn't about doing what was easy, it was about self-mastery, about doing what was hard.

  Gray wasn’t used to asking for permission, since the world had told him “no” from the moment he’d taken his first breath. So it was time to ask for forgiveness.

  Captain Sevanya shouted up through the floor. “I know you’re fucking here, precious boy. Come down, now! And take your punishment.”

  Rynn was in her sleeping clothes, but she threw on a robe, which seemed new.

  “I’ll go down and take the consequences,” Gray said.

  Rynn shook her head. “I chose this. I will go with you. We sinned together.”

  Gray smiled and thought to make some kind of joke about sinning more, but stopped himself. It wasn’t the time. “Let me do the talking.”

  She nodded because saying anything more would lead to a ramble.

  Down the stairs they went. Settie had been petting Yellow, but the minute she saw them, she straightened. Her face was a bright red, and as she talked, scales flipped out of her skin before resting. Her eyes had the vertical slits of a serpent. She flung her hat, mask, and cane across the room. “What in the fuck are you doing in my house?”

  Gray stepped forward. “Third Barracks was a nightmare. It was loud, smelly, stupidly hot, and full of scorpions. But that’s not why I came back. I came back to take care of Yellow.”

  “You lie!” the dragon woman spat. Her hat, mask, and cane rested on her trunk sitting in the middle of the living room.

  “And you left Yellow to fend for himself.”

  “Which he can do!” the woman shrieked. “I found him here, in my house, living just fine when I returned after…after…it doesn’t matter. This is my house. You are trespassing! Did you go through my things?”

  “I went into your room,” Gray admitted. “You have a nice view. But I didn’t invade your privacy other than sitting in that very comfortable chair, and I’m sorry for that. I’m not sorry for finding a way through your wards.”

  “How is that even possible?” the woman started to pace.

  Yellow started whine, his tail dropping. He went over to Rynn and looked at up at her with soft eyes, like he was begging her to help the human and the dragon woman to get along.

  Rynn crouched and pet the poor puppy.

  Gray wasn’t going to hide a thing. “I went to the Excellent Inventory Emporium. I met a woman there, the Widow Stone, and she helped me. But it was our connection that did it. You helped make my core, and so, I had some of your mana that I could use. It was the only way.”

  “The Widow Stone?” The captain made a face. “Of course. That bitch would just love to stick a dagger in my heart. As would all of those villains at First Field. Did you tell everyone? Did you talk to that snake Cinders? Mama Cinders, such a fucking laugh, as if she had a maternal bone in her body. She is part of the Testing. They are all part of the Testing. And you failed, don’t you see? We’re already starting at such a deficit, and I had such high hopes this year, such high hopes. I’m such a fucking fool. Ageless, timeless, all powerful, and I pick some rebellious slave boy from—”

  “Don’t call me that!” Gray shoved his face into the dragon woman’s. “We’ve trained every day. We’ve defended ourselves. We’ve grown better, faster, stronger, without you. You left us and didn’t come back, and so I made the choices I made because you weren’t around. I will not let you shame for it. I will work for the squad, and we’ll win, Settie, because of what we can do.”

  “What can you do?” the captain’s voice was far softer. “You have no resonances. You can’t refill your core, and you can’t use your mana in any real way. Yes, you are powerful, but limited, in all kinds of ways. You’ll die in the Testing, rather soon I would expect, and it might be just as well.”

  That stung, but Gray had heard words like that his entire life. Before the Battle Royale, when all of the arena slaves were sent into arena to prove themselves, Master Kreef had thrown his impending death in Gray’s face. He was weak. He was fragile. He couldn’t train because he’d faint. In the end, he was some slave boy with a bad heart, an orphan that no one cared about. That was what Master Kreef had said.

  But Gray knew Kreef was lying. The truth was, there were people who cared about Gray. Old Agatha had cared enough to teach him to read and write, sharpening his mind. Blind John had cared enough to teach Gray wisdom, sharpening his very soul.

  He'd used both to cut his way out of the Battle Royale, however bloody. Instead of a sword, he had Carter. Poor Carter.

  “I won’t die,” Gray said. “Like I didn’t die when I was tested before. You see, Captain, this isn’t my first time fighting for my life. And while First Field isn’t easy, it’s not as dangerous as the arena. You forget. I was a gladiator who didn’t have the strength to wield a sword, and yet, I stand here, quite alive and quite strong.”

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  “What happened that day?” the captain asked. “How did you survive the Battle Royale?”

  “What’s the Battle Royale?” Rynn asked in a quiet voice.

  Yellow was panting, obviously stressed by the tension in the air.

  No one answered for a long time.

  It was Captain Sevanya who spoke first. “It’s a coming of age battle for all the arena slaves. When they reach their sixteenth birthday, they are sent into the arena, and it is fifteen minutes of slaughter. Only the strong survive. Not all of the arena games ended in death, but the Battle Royale was the exception. How did you survive, Grayson Fade?”

  Gray hadn’t expected this, but it was time for him to be honest with the two people who he’d tied his fate to. Even without the mystical bond that sex could bring, he knew his connections to his friend and his mentor went deep, right to the bone.

  He swallowed and let out a shaky breath. “I used my friend, Carter. He was friendly, rather dim, and he thought I had his back, but what could I do? I was weak, scared, doomed to die. There was one boy who wanted me dead, Ravis. I’d become friends with most everyone else, but not with Ravis. I was an easy target, you see, and if Ravis could kill me, he would earn his way into a spot as a blooded gladiator. I told Carter he and I would take care of Ravis together, and we did, but I knew Carter wouldn’t survive. He didn’t. Neither did Ravis. While he was butchering Carter, I stuck my knife in his back, and I earned my place as an arena slave, not as a gladiator, but as something else, something unique. If nothing else, I’d earned the respect of Master Kreef, and that meant everything among the arena slaves.”

  Gray couldn’t look at Rynn. He didn’t want to see what was in her eyes. The look of pity in Settie’s eyes was bad enough.

  For once, she wasn’t saying anything.

  Gray wanted to explain more, to defend himself, to plead with them to forgive him. But who he really needed forgiveness from was dead. It was a sin he would have to live with forever. It hadn’t been a spur of the moment decision. The minute he’d seen Carter, he knew what he needed, a human shield he could use during the Battle Royale. It might have been a simple partnership if not for the fact that Ravis saw Gray’s death as his ticket to a bright future. Then, it had all played out as it did because the world was a cruel place, where kindness was weakness, and nothing mattered except the will to live, to fight, to kill.

  Blind John would disagree, but Blind John was probably dead, another victim of Gray’s schemes.

  It was almost too much to bear. The despair ran deep, but one of the gifts of self-mastery was to master one’s own despair.

  “Poor Carter,” Gray finally whispered. Because that was the mantra, his own salute, to poor Carter. As if that could do anything to help with the guilt.

  The dragon woman walked past Gray, not offering any words of kindness.

  She snapped her fingers at the elf girl. “And what about you? What are you doing here? I would’ve thought you’d have more sense than to follow this young man through my warding. It was obvious that I cast the spells for a reason.”

  Rynn looked like a frightened cat, frozen to the spot.

  Gray had to defend her. “It was me. I pressured her. As we’ve seen, I can be very persuasive.”

  That broke Rynn out of her spell. The elf girl bowed, curtsied, bowed again, and then took three big steps backward. “No, it wasn’t Gray, it was me. I really, really, really like Gray. We’ve become very good friends, and more, but we can’t be more, because I need to serve my family, and Gray has a grand destiny, which I think you know. I mean, his core, the amount of mana he generates, and we fought bullies at First Field, and I cut my hair, and Pinch said it was because I was ashamed of being an angel head, and maybe that was some it, but it was more that I didn’t want any distraction because I need to pass the Testing, for my father’s business, and I want to get on a good kill squad because I’ve been alone most of my life. I don’t make friends easily, unlike Gray, because we have friends at First Field, at least Freek is, I think, and we have friends in the marketplace, Gorgonzola, and the Widow, and the cousins, who are funny, but kind. Softie isn’t soft, but he kind of is, and…”

  Her voice died as she suddenly realized she’d gone on way too long, and probably shared some things she shouldn’t have.

  Gray’s heart felt so full, and with every word, he loved that bald elf girl just a little more.

  He couldn’t read the captain’s face, but he thought she looked a bit amused.

  Rynn swallowed. “Yes, um, well. I do apologize for rambling. In short, Gray and I are true comrades. Where he goes, I go. He wanted to return here, to this relative palace, out of a desire for comfort and take care of this fine dog, who really is exceptional. I don’t regret following him. I am sorry for breaking through your wards and trespassing in your house. But if this is your house, that means you must’ve lived here before the Wrath Tower fell.” The elf girl gasped, covering her hands with her mouth.

  The captain didn’t blink. And she didn’t admit a thing. “How did you get passed the warding? Gray had my mana. What of you?”

  “We’ve been fighting a great deal,” Rynn said. “He has been refilling my core, on a daily basis. We’ve become connected. He was able to take some of that special mana, from your, uh, connection.” Rynn paled and before she could stop herself, burst out in another ramble, and while it was hard to follow, it ended with, “…and I know you kissed him.”

  The captain smiled a little, unashamed. Again, she didn’t admit anything. She turned to Gray. “So you can adjust the amount of mana you give her? And not just the quantity, but the quality as well. This is a rather interesting turn of events.”

  Gray turned and pulled down the collar of his tunic to expose the top of his back. “And I went through the mana itch, and I have the burn. The mark is next. Then I’ll be a true neophyte.”

  “It can’t be,” the captain said. “It’s only been a handful of months. You almost have the first mark, and yes, that would make you a neophyte, and the Testing hasn’t even began. Remarkable.”

  Gray then faced her. “I knew I was breaking the rules to come here, but this place will forever be special to me. It’s the best home I’ve ever known.”

  The captain smiled. “But it’s surrounded by demons, on the edge of hell itself.”

  Gray was relieved to see that strong woman smile. “that’s what Rynn said, but I have to point out we’re several blocks from the edge of the Weeping Well. As for the demons, I’ve lived my entire life surrounded by demons in one form or another. It’s just another day in the life of Grayson Fade.”

  Settie’s smile faded, and what replaced it was a determined focus, a look of iron. “Can you keep yourself alive during the Testing?”

  Before he could answer, Rynn stepped. “I will keep him alive, Captain. I swear. Anyone who wants to kill him will have to kill me first. And I am a very good warrior, very hard to kill. We are together. Inseparable. Unstoppable.”

  “By the gods or love and murder,” the captain whispered, “what have I missed?”

  “A lot,” Gray said. “Now, tell us why you’re so late in returning. I think part of your anger was at us, for trespassing, but I think you have a bit of rage for yourself.”

  “Always,” the captain whispered. “I will always hate myself in ways that most could never understand. But you could, Grayson Fade. Poor Carter.”

  Gray felt the pain and his eyes watered.

  “Poor Carter,” he agreed.