Horse 2.0
A few months ago…
When I died, I was reincarnated (sort of) as a horse into the game Tetra Chronicles. So far, I’ve been here a little over one week, and I’ve already killed a man. Yes, that’s right, I’m a horse on the run.
It’s not so bad, really, being a horse. In fact, I wouldn’t mind it at all, except for this nagging quest that keeps popping up.
[Quest: What is an ownerless animal but a beast?
Quest condition: Find an owner within 14 days.
Failure Penalty: If you do not find an owner in 14 days, you will lose all autonomy and become a mindless beast.
Time remaining: 5 days, 7 hours]
I don’t want to become a mindless beast. If I lose my mind, then there really will be nothing left of me in this world. I’ll be dead for real, vanished within the game. My soul, nothing but a dissolving strand of code, disappearing into the aether…
Anyway, I’ve got the munchies. Just gonna stop here in this field for a little snack real quick…
It’s early morning, barely light. After stuffing myself with clover my belly is bloated and I’m feeling gassy. Here’s a bit of trivia I never knew before: horses can’t burp. When we get gassy, there’s only one end it can escape from…
Pooot! Frooooop! Squelch!
Um. That last one might not have been a fart… Ah, who cares? I’m a horse…
Of course, I’m worried about finding a new master. But I’ve been hesitant to approach people. After all, I’m still a wanted criminal.
Just then, I come to a fence. On the other side of it, I see an old gray gelding standing in a misty field. He looks weary. His soulless eyes—I know those eyes. They look the same way mine used to, back when I was working back to back shifts hauling freight. Bone weary, lonely, with no one to hold me at night. Yes, I know his pain.
Without stopping to think about it, I jump the short fence and come over to stand with him in solidarity.
Horses can’t talk to each other, not in the way humans talk. Though we can communicate feelings with our bodies, with our looks.
Tired, he seems to say.
Grass, good, I tell him, munching heartily.
Tired.
Then, a human approaches from the other end of the field. A peasant, a farmer by the looks of him, he also has a tired, lonely sort of look about him. He removes his cap and scratches his head when he sees me.
I look at him solemnly. He approaches and gives me a tentative pat. He says a few words I can’t understand, looking between the gelding and me. Then, he hitches a lead to my bridle. I follow automatically.
Yes, that’s right! Become my new owner! Like this, I’ll be able to hide in plain sight. No one would ever suspect an ordinary farm horse of murder.
Without a word, the farmer hitches me to a plow. He gets behind me and I begin to pull. Wanting to impress him, I pull with all of my might, throwing my weight into the harness.
Together with the farmer and his plow, I practically fly across the field. Behind me, I can hear him whooping and calling out to me excitedly.
[New Owner acquired. Your name has been changed to: Turnip.]
What the hell? Did that peasant just name me after his breakfast? Whatever. I’ve got a name now, and a new owner. I no longer have to worry about vanishing!
It’s hard work, pulling a plow, but I am used to hard work. Besides, thanks to my bad luck, the plow’s constantly breaking down, so I get to take plenty of breaks while the farmer scratches his head and tries to figure out what’s wrong with his equipment.
At the end of the work day, there’s plenty of grass to be munched, so I find I don’t mind my life as a plow horse at all. Besides this, I’m happy to give my pal the gelding a break. He’s already looking a bit more chipper.
On my second day of working for the farmer, I get a new skill.
[Beast of Burden level 1: You are a workhorse.
+10% maximum drag weight]
Then, after about a week of this new life, one afternoon while the farmer has me hitched up to the plow, the System notifies me that I’ve leveled up. I seem to get +1 Strength and +1 Constitution by default, and one point I can spend as I wish. I waste no time putting it into Intelligence. I want to be able to understand humans!
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[Character name: Turnip
Level: 2
Race: Horse
Class: Horse
Subclass: Farm Animal
HP: 230
Constitution: 11
Strength: 11
Agility: 7
Intelligence: 1
Luck: -2
Skills: Beast of Burden (2), Dressage (1), Jinx, Jump (1), Mount (1)]
Wow. I leveled up.
It’s been ages since something like this happened to me. Suddenly, instead of feeling like a jaded middle-aged man who’s been stuck in a rut without gaining any new skills for ages, I feel like a kid again, with my whole life ahead of me.
That’s when it finally hits me. This is my second chance. The chance to do my life right. Coming back to this starting point, with my youth and vigor returned to me, with limitless potential inside of the game—I could go anywhere from here. I can be anyone I want! Though, I still have to be a horse… Even so!
Feeling the most intense sense of joy and accomplishment, I can’t stop myself from doing a little happy dance. Without thinking, I start prancing in place and spinning in my harness.
[Skill Dressage has leveled up.]
[Learned move: Piaffe]
[Dressage level 2: You are an equestrian artist.
+3 Agility
Learned moves: Half Pass, Piaffe, Pirouette]
More fancy moves! I’m a show horse, baby, yeah!
That’s when I notice the farmer is yelling at me; I think he might be cursing.
Man, what the hell am I doing? This is so embarrassing, and now I’m all tangled up in my harness. Better straighten up and act my age.
I turn back to my starting position, but with a bit too much force. I don’t know my own strength in this form, sometimes. But, hold up a minute, now. Where’s the farmer?
I look around, and with a wave of horror, realize that not only have I inadvertently knocked him down in my excitement, I’ve also somehow managed to throw the plow atop his fallen form.
How did this happen?! Never mind that—my boss! I must save him!
First, I have to get this plow off of him. Yank!
Zlisch! Splat!
Oh, dang! I swear, I didn’t mean to do that! I’m so sorry, Boss, to both halves of you! Um, you can still be put back together, right?
[Achievement earned: Double Homicide]
Guess not.
[Double Homicide: Awarded for accidentally murdering your owner for the second time.
Reward skill: Death by Plowing]
[Death by Plowing, you have mastered using pulled weapons.
+100% Bonus damage if dragging a weapon.]
Whoa, that seems kind of OP—wait! This is not the time to be admiring my skills.
I look around sharply to see if anyone’s watching. But there is only the old gray gelding, observing me from the other side of the fence with wide, terrified eyes.
The only witness. Then, my eyes narrow, do I need to kill him, too?
As though guessing my thoughts, the old boy takes off at a dead run, jumping the fence and disappearing into the trees. Well, that’s alright, since I didn’t really want to kill him, anyway. But I’d better take a page out of his book, if I’ve got any sense, and hightail it away from the scene of the crime. If they catch me after murdering my second master, they’ll lock me up for sure this time!
[You have murdered your Owner and are now Ownerless.]
[Your name has reverted to: Horse.]
[Quest acquired: What is an ownerless animal but a beast?
Quest condition: Find an owner within 14 days.
Failure Penalty: If you do not find an owner in 14 days, you will lose all autonomy and become a mindless beast.]
Once more, I am a wanderer. A horse without a friend in the world, and no owner to call my own. Having left behind the home I’d come to know, the old gelding and both halves of my master, I trot dejectedly through the rain, heart heavy within me as inwardly I hum that old Queen song.
Mama…just killed a man…
I need to find an owner. If I don’t find one, my mind, all that is left of me will disappear. Though I am a menace to society, a danger to myself and others who should probably be guillotined for my crimes, as it turns out I really, really don’t want to disappear. But, who would want to own killer like me? Who is there left in all this earth that will save me from my fate?
But, what’s this? Just ahead in the road, a little old lady is pulling a cart through the rain.
My heart goes out to her. She’s so bent and haggard as she struggles by herself to pull the heavy cart. I want to help her!
I stop beside the poor granny, and she stops as well. She speaks soothingly to me, pats me and offers me an apple from her cart, which I promptly devour. She chuckles and gives me another.
She’s so kind. An angel! The angel of apples! I love her! I will devote myself to her for the rest of my life! If she will have me…
Looking up and down the road, Granny makes the decision to use parts of the farmer’s broken harness still dangling off of me to hitch me in an impromptu fashion to her cart.
I pull willingly, but carefully. I learned my lesson, pulling the plow. I must be gentle, especially with such a frail old lady.
[New Owner acquired. Your name has been changed to: Noble.]
Noble! That’s a good name! Much better than Turnip. She’s so thoughtful, such a sweet old lady.
While I pull, she talks to me in low, gentle tones, and I snort and nicker at her in reply, wishing with all my heart she could understand me.
Granny, you’re such a good listener. I have so much to tell you. The truth is, I’ve already killed two men. I wish I knew how to get this guilt off of my chest. I don’t want to be a bad horse. I just want to live peacefully, and have lots of tasty food to eat. Apples, carrots, oats, peppermints, sugar cubes…
While Granny and I are talking, I begin to hear a suspicious buzzing sound. What’s that? A yellow jacket? It’s huge! As big as a cat or bigger, it’s coming straight for me, drawn by the scent of Granny’s apples.
Spying it, Granny cries out in alarm, and my instincts kick in. I must protect her!
I rear up on my hind legs to fight off the monster yellow jacket, doing my best to smack it with my hooves. But this is my first time rearing in this body—how am I supposed to aim these strikes, again?
Kick, kick! I smack the air in futility, and the bee flies right through my offense to smack me in the face.
[-4 HP]
Ow! My nose!
Snout throbbing, I lose my footing and topple backwards on top of the apple cart. And something else small and frail.
The saddest splat.
Nooooo! Granny! What have I done?!
[Achievement earned: Serial killer]
[Serial killer: Awarded for accidentally murdering your owner. Again.
Reward skill: Terror of the Innocent]
[Terror of the Innocent, no one is safe.
+100% bonus damage if target never hurt a soul.]
[You have murdered your Owner and are now Ownerless.]
[Your name has reverted to: Horse.]
[Quest acquired: What is an ownerless animal but a beast?
Quest condition: Find an owner within 14 days.
Failure Penalty: If you do not find an owner in 14 days, you will lose all autonomy and become a mindless beast.]
Not again!
