Oh, for the love of…

  Eik opened his eyes. Thin streak of light picked at his eyes. They were coming in through cracks in the rotten wood right in front of his face.

  Well, at least it would appear the tendency to drop him in a shallow swamp had actually changed. It was nice and dry here in this coffin. The smell wasn’t exactly great, though.

  “Some greeting this is!” he shouted as he stood up, ignoring the coffin completely as his body crashed through the brittle wood, rusted nails yanked out without notice. He was back in the Profound Toxic Realm. Figures.

  He was at the foot of the great mountain which he had been chasing since his first visit to the Profound Toxic Realm, and which he had climbed when he had ascended to S-rank. It still looked way too tall.

  Perhaps it was because he had already “conquered” the mountain as the Monarch of Toxin but that mysterious, irresistible pull of the mountain had more or less faded at this point. Sure, looking up at such a magnificently colossal thing did something to him but there was nothing supernatural about that feeling. It was simple awe.

  Rolling his eyes, he began to walk. “Fine…” he muttered. “But I swear this is the last time I’m walking up this damned rock! Next time you want something, you had better get me a taxi all the way to the top. I will not stand for this crap-ap-ap!” he yelled into the air at full lung, his loud voice echoing across the mountain side. “You’re Profound Toxin and I’m the Monarch of Profound Toxin. That means I’m the king-ing-ing…! Of you-you-you!”

  Eik couldn’t hold back a sigh. The blue bastard never failed to make him feel stupid.

  As he climbed, many Profound Toxic beasts showed their faces, their power ranks varying greatly—from the weakest, tiniest serpents to massive, imposing monsters that could have rivaled any Awakened on Earth. But unlike his earlier ventures to the Profound Toxic Realm, none of them made any moves to attack now.

  As a matter of fact, they appeared to be rather wary of him, almost like peasants gazing at a… Wait a minute. He stopped walking and regarded a drake the size of a horse from old Earth. It returned his gaze without looking directly at him, its head turned slightly to the side like a dog feeling guilty of shitting on the floor.

  Eik lifted a hand slowly, watching the beast’s reaction the whole time. With a wave, he gestured toward the ground. “Bow.”

  It responded with no hesitation, dropping its posture and lowering its head.

  “Down.”

  Again, it obeyed, lying down on its stomach like a dog.

  “Huh,” Eik muttered, watched the monster stay in place for another few seconds, and then started walking again. It took hours but he wasn’t in a hurry. In fact, this might be the only breather he would get for a while.

  Real life could wait, and if he understood this place correctly, it did. Time worked differently in here. He had spent hours in here before and come out with barely any time having passed in comparison.

  “Can we get some soft bird song up in this joint?” he called to healthy copses of trees growing along the side of the mountain.

  Before long, strange, crackling hisses began to flow out from the shadows. Eik stopped and listened as the sound continued to grow, eventually joined by more similar noises from different directions. A movement caught his eye—one of the slender flyers perched on a low branch, doing its best to imitate a bird.

  Eik wished he could say it was doing a good job, but it was honestly terrible.

  “All right, good effort, everyone!” he shouted, clapping his hands twice for attention. “I really appreciate it but go back to whatever you were doing before. I’m good for now!”

  The cries stopped immediately and Eik could swear he heard numerous sighs of relief.

  At the peak he wandered about for a few minutes, looking behind trees, under rocks, and in the small basin that still stood in the middle of nothing. Unlike before, it was empty. Nothing but polished stone.

  “All right, ha ha, where are you? Isn’t it rather rude for the host to hide when a friend comes over for a greeting-eeting-eeting?” he shouted from the mountain top. “Hello-ello-ello!”

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  When no answer came, Eik searched aimlessly for another minute before a beast roamed onto the peak, sniffing at the ground. That gave him an idea.

  “Hey. Hey, you!” he called, beckoning it over. “Come over here for a second.”

  Briefly, it looked around, appearing hopeful that perhaps there was another close by to whom the Monarch might have been speaking. Alas, no such luck. Nervously, it made its way over, lowering its head submissively when it stopped in front of him.

  “Where is that rude son of a gun?” Eik asked, hands on his hips. For the first time, a Profound Toxic beast hesitated to obey. “Come on, you can tell old Eiky here,” he sang.

  Slowly, it turned away and shuffled along. He followed. On the other side of the mountain, endless landscape stretched into the distance. For some reason, he had never thought to look that way.

  It should have been obvious that this mountain did not mark the end of this realm. It should have been obvious but… why hadn’t he thought of it before? Could one truly call oneself a Monarch if one wasn’t even familiar with the land one ruled. Was it really nothing but a title?

  He had much to achieve still.

  At the edge of the flat peak, the monster stopped and threw its head in a gesture downward.

  “What?” Eik asked and craned his head to look down. Narrowing his eyes as he tried to peer through layers of mist along the rocky slope, he muttered soundlessly in disbelief. “Don’t tell me… Is that a… hole in the ground?”

  The Profound Toxic beast followed his gaze and then looked back up at him, seemingly unable to comprehend his question as it nodded and obvious yes.

  “I’m not in the mood to go into any holes right now,” Eik grunted and then cupped his mouth. “Hey, can’t you come up here and talk to me instead-ead-ead? I don’t want to come down there-ere-ere!”

  A few seconds passed and then the monster suddenly writhed violently as if in pain to the point where its bones would surely have broken if it had had any. It stilled a moment later, its posture completely different. Unlike before, it strode past him with an unmistakable confidence.

  “Huh? Where are you go—uergh!” A solid body tackle caught him squarely in the back as the monster suddenly turned and threw itself at him. So caught off guard was he, that by the time he realized what was happening, he was already tumbling down the side of the mountain.

  “Shit! Crap!” he groaned as he bounced toward the hole. “Nuts! Fruits! And! Vegetables!”

  Sure, he could have righted himself, but what would be the point? Eventually, he would end up at the bottom of that hole. Whether he was the Monarch or not, this was Profound Toxin’s world and Eik was just living in it.

  By the time he landed at the foot of the mountain, he was well and truly pissed. Getting to his feet, he marched to the edge of the hole with the stomps of a grumpy man. The first thing he did was snort and hock an angry loogie into the hole. “Take that!”

  Then he jumped after it.

  At the bottom was a small hole dug into the dirt wall, just big enough to squeeze through if he crawled on his knees. A blue light was radiating from inside.

  “Hello?” he called as he stood up. It was a small cave—no more than ten meters in diameter. In the center was a glowing, blue bulb the size of his fist. “What the hell is that?” he asked and reached out for the little bulb. Just as his fingers touched the gooey surface, it sprung out of the ground like an exploding mushroom, scaring the absolute living shit out of him. “Whoah! What the fuck!”

  Out popped a serpent so small that it could have curled up comfortably in his palm. It glowed so brightly that it was difficult to look at, and the power that exuded from its tiny body was something that was difficult to compare to anything he had felt before.

  Given the fact that they were in the Profound Toxic Realm, it wasn’t an overwhelming feeling per se, but the depth of it was extreme. It almost felt like he could plunge in and get lost in the sheer sensation of it. But more than anything else, it was exceedingly familiar. If there had been any doubt, that feeling made it certain.

  This was the greeting.

  This was Profound Toxin itself. In the flesh, if it could be called that.

  It was actually quite strange to feel what he had come to think of as himself but separate. The Profound Toxin that this little serpent was made up of he could not control. He knew because he tried. There was no response to his will.

  Awkwardly, Eik lifted a hand. “Uh, hey…”

  It just stared up at him. Something seeped into his ears—not quite sound but transmitting what felt like words nonetheless. “I am… hungry.” Straight to the point, huh?

  “Huh? Oh, uuh, okay, sure, hold on a second,” Eik said and pulled out a couple of muffins from his belt pouch of holding. He still hadn’t figured out why he had access to it here but he did.

  The serpent snatched it up and chewed like a starving beast, swallowing the whole thing in one big gulp. “More,” came the command.

  Eik offered two more helpings before the serpent finally became satisfied. Just like its ferocious personality had rubbed off on him, perhaps his sweet tooth had affected it in much the same way.

  “You want some chocolate milk as well?” he asked, pulling out a sealed bag.

  No answer came but its jaw cracked as it unhinged. Eik took the hint and started pouring.

  “So, what did you want?” he asked as he folded the bag and put it back. “What’s this greeting you suddenly offered me? Kind of out of the blue.” It was freaking weird to actually be face to face with this presence—this being, with which he had been so intimate for so long.

  “You… are so weak, Eik.” came the ethereal voice.

  Eik rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks. That really warms my heart…”

  “You aren’t… strong enough.”

  “Okay, okay, I get it already! Well, if that’s all you wanted,” he sighed and made to crawl back out. Well, this had been a waste of time. He felt guilty enough about his lack of strength already. This was not exactly how he had imagined their first meeting going.

  “You must get… stronger.”

  Eik sneered. “Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious! You think I don’t know that? It’s not that easy!”

  “Supreme Divinity of Toxin… That is what… you must become.”

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