I step into the dimly lit barn with Clarence at my side.

  "Clara, I've…come to terms that you're not the Clara I know. But I need to know that the Crowsong family's safety is important to you."

  I glare at him, "It’s my family too, stupid. Of course it’s important to me." Rubbing my temples, with annoyance, I hiss at him. "Do you think I enjoy all of this? All this fighting? This killing? These mind games I have to…to stoop to just to have a chance at leveling the playing field?"

  "Look, I didn't mean it like that," Clarence stammers, his cheeks red with embarrassment. "It's just... everything happened so fast, and I don't even know who you-"

  "I am me! I am Clara!"

  "It’s just you act so scary, you’re like a completely different person. When you were fighting, you killed someone, and-

  "Speaking of which," I interrupt, hoping to change the conversation, "When we were fighting, you ran the moment you got hurt."

  "I know, I'm sorry..."

  "No, you did exactly what you should have done. You need to prioritize your safety above all else."

  "Wait, what? Why would you say that? Isn’t running away a bad thing?"

  "Clarence, you have the potential to be one of the strongest pyromancers that our clan has ever produced. We can't afford to lose you at such a young age. You’re needed in the world of the living, so you can’t die just yet." This was a complete spur of the moment lie. In all honesty, I have no idea how Clarence will turn out if he manages to reach adulthood, but a little fib couldn't hurt right now.

  "I have potential?"

  "Huh? What? Yeah, of course you do," I stammer, my gaze wandering to the stone.

  The magic that swirls within its depths is truly unbeknownst to me. It is mesmerizing. Looking at it brings no particular memory to mind, but instead, a feeling. It’s the same feeling I got every time I discovered a new spell. Untapped knowledge lies just beneath the surface, I know it. Just as I have this thought, I hear a voice.

  "I have just the drink for you! This one's a Crossroads original, we call it Beneath the Surface."

  I spin, searching for the source of the voice, but find nothing.

  "Sorry, but drinking isn’t really my thing."

  The words are warped, as if muffled by something. Time? Distance? I swear I hear my own voice in the response, and I continue to spin. If I squint hard enough, I can make out the outlines of a…a bar? There’s a man standing behind it, but I can’t make out his features. His face gets fuzzy when I look at him. His eyes lock onto mine though, and he speaks once more.

  "That’s too bad, drinking can be a lot of fun when done in moderation. By the way, the name’s Bell."

  The moment I hear his name my head begins to pulse. My vision begins to change, blazing a hot white as if my senses are being overloaded in their entirety. All I can hear is static, and then I feel the stone slip out of my hand. Almost immediately, everything returns to normal.

  "How do you know that?"

  I spin to face Clarence, beads of sweat running down my face. I’m hesitant, but I pick the stone up again, and shove it into my pocket.

  "What?" I ask, blinking myself out of my stupor.

  "How do you know that? That I…have potential I mean."

  I debate for a moment, eyeing my total Karma. I didn’t receive much as a reward, and I didn’t know if Clarence would even believe me if I told him.

  A tinge of pain runs through me as the total lowers once again.

  "I’ve seen the future. That's why I know what you can become."

  "Like Sarah?..."

  How Clarence manages to confuse the ability to see the future, and the ability to read minds is beyond me.

  "No…not at all. I have lived this life before."

  "So you knew that there would be an attack?"

  "No, well. Yes, of course I knew, but-"

  "You knew and you did nothing?!" Clarence growls, flames sputtering to life at the tips of his fingers as he takes a threatening step towards me.

  "Did nothing?..."

  "You could have warned us! You could have done something, if you knew-"

  "Everytime I come back, I appear moments before the attack. Don't you think I've tried warning the others before? My first time dying, I couldn’t believe it was really happening. All I could do was scream, and cry. I thought it was a horrible nightmare that just wouldn’t end."

  "The second time," I continue. "I had the chance to hide under my bed and wait. Ethel begged to know what was wrong, but when I tried to tell her? She couldn't understand me. Every word fell short of her ears, and when I begged her to listen? She… it’s like something just yanked her out of reality, and she was gone. I was found, and I was murdered. Again. It wasn't until my third life that I tried running."

  "Clara, I-"

  "The Conclave hunts based on difficulty. You and I are considered weak, therefore the assassins tasked with hunting us are also relatively weak. Although the closer I got to the grand hall… the stronger they became," I bite down on my lip as I remember the thought.

  "It took me seven lives to reach the grand hall in time, and I didn't make it there in one piece. I jumped."

  "Jumped?..."

  "From the fifth story, to the table below. There was no other way I could get there. I tried to warn them, I really tried. I really did, but the only sound I could make was a wet gargle as I drowned in my own blood."

  "Clara, wait, I'm sorry. I didn't-" Clarence holds his hands up defensively, but I continue to speak.

  "I still have nightmares that I'm falling. A 14 year old girl jumping to her death, with hopes of getting help. But there is no help, only pain," I whisper. "Of every way I’ve died, it's the one I hate the most."

  My Karma is plummeting, but I didn't care at this point. I march up to Clarence. The heat from his flames flickering across my face as I glare up at him.

  If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  "And you… on my eighth life, I ran to your room."

  "Y-You did?"

  "Oh yes, I did," I stare into his eyes, and all I can see is the hollow reflection of my own. "I've seen you burn so many times that I can't even cry for you anymore."

  "What?... I… I died?" The flames in his hands go out, just as his life's flame had gone out so many times before.

  "To the same thing, every time. Every fucking time. Why don’t you learn, you dumbass!" I grab hold of Clarence’s collar, pulling him in close, "Why don’t you remember! Why is it only ever me that has to remember it all? Why? Why!"

  Clarence doesn’t respond this time. He’s grown silent, but I continue.

  "And you have the gall to try and pin this on me? You want to question me? You really think I beat the shit out of you just because you were using a little bit of magic? No… Someone sold us out. Some idiot with an obsession for shiny objects went and told some man in a black hood every little secret he knew. That sound familiar to you? Ring a bell!? What do you think the others will do when they find out? It’ll be worse than a couple of scrapes and bruises!"

  That's when Terra grabs hold of me, dragging me away as Clarence staggers backwards, falling to the floor. A distant look plagues his face, but I struggle against Terra.

  "Let me go! I’m not… I’m not done with him yet! He has to remember, he has to!"

  Terra drags me to a faraway corner of the barn, and stands in the doorway with his arms spread wide open.

  "What are you doing?" I try to get past, but he stops me.

  Then the realization hits me. He was doing what I told him to do. He was protecting Clarence.

  "I wasn’t going to hurt him, I…I just wanted him to remember… You can go now." I give Terra a small wave, and after a short while his clay figure waddles away.

  Of course, I regret lashing out at Clarence, but I hope that he’ll understand me at least a little bit better now.

  "I’m trying my best," I whisper to myself.

  Right now, there’s only one thing I can do. A distraction that I was thankful for. I hold my hand high, and the sunlight sparkles off the stone as I examine it.

  [Arcane Aetherite: The soulgem of one unknown to this world. Upon consumption, you'll come to a deeper understanding of its source]

  Even with this enhanced sight of mine, the meaning remains vague, frustratingly so. And what did it mean by consumption?

  I had heard of soulgems in previous lives. They’re powerful remnants left behind by many different creatures. Powerful humans are capable of leaving them behind too at times. A few scholars devote their entire lives to deciphering these in hopes of acquiring the archaic knowledge within.

  Sometimes they teach you magic, sometimes it's an innate ability. And other times they are simply duds. But even the most basic soulgems can take years to decipher, and if it belonged to a powerful being? It could take decades, centuries even. Due to the sheer difficulty of this, they are more of a collector's item.

  Perhaps choosing this as my boon was a mistake…

  "Clara! I think I remembered something-" Clarence's voice abruptly cut through the silence. I gasp and drop the soulgem. Before I can react, it plops right into my mouth and slides down my throat whole. My eyes widen, and Clarence falls silent, his expression stiff.

  "What was that?..."

  At first, nothing happened. Then an unfamiliar sensation overtakes me. A sweetness reminiscent of flavorful fruit gently dances on my tongue. Peaches?... But as I delve deeper, a surge of energy rushes through me, akin to the static feeling of a thunderstorm charging the air.

  The flavor shifts, revealing complex layers of fiery tornadoes and thousand-year-long snowstorms. Hints of stardust infused essence fill my mouth with a twinkling sensation that seems to illuminate my very being. And beneath it all, a faint, lingering bitterness. Sorrow and longing, as if the soulgem itself held onto memories of ages long past. The stone’s taste is an enigma, an exquisite blend of sweet delight and unknown magic.

  As the taste envelopes me, I feel my mana-core begin to pulse erratically in my chest. Its rhythm speeds up, and my heart rate rises in tandem with it. The two are fighting for domination with one another and my vision begins to fade.

  "Am I having a heart attack?" I mouth the words, and grasp my chest in pain. I close my eyes as tight as I can, trying to block out the pain.

  When I finally open my eyes, the pain is gone.

  No longer am I in the barn, but I…

  "I’m home?..." I’m at the front door of the Crowsong manor. The familiar scent of the garden's rich soil and fragrant flowers fills my nostrils. My heart beats once more in my chest, but this time it’s different. It’s good, calm even. To think, just a smell could elicit such a response.

  "There are two sides to this garden, Princess. To our right, there are many different flowers, all alive and in full bloom. But...to our left, everything has withered and died. They are still within sight of one another, but in a way, they represent our family. Even when we're gone, we're still just right across the path from each other."

  I had forgotten about this conversation. It was from a hundred lives ago, before this all began.

  I turned to see Ethel sitting on a bench, with a little blonde girl beside her, listening along.

  "But that side’s scary!" the young Clara exclaims, her eyes wide as she tries to hide behind Ethel’s form.

  Ethel laughs gently, her warm gaze never leaving the child. "Well am I scary, Princess?"

  The young Clara shook her head vehemently. "Mm... No! You're different!"

  As I step closer, I watch the two of them laugh together. It really does make my heart feel lighter.

  Glancing up at the night sky, I realize that it stops just short of reaching the heavens above. The conversation between Ethel and my younger self began again; its end merely restarting at the beginning. Cautiously, I look outside the manor's gates only to find emptiness. An endless expanse of nothingness where the scary world should have been.

  A new voice can be heard over the loop now. "What an endearing exchange."

  Turning my head, I see her. She’s so familiar to me, yet nameless. She is the one who gave me my Karma.

  Her long blue hair cascades towards the ground, gently swaying like silk ribbons in the breeze. Her eyes share the same shade as amethysts, and she has a gaze that seems to burrow itself into my very being. She wears a dress, quite the opposite of my own. Hers is white, with celestial symbols decorating the hem. It ends just as her shoulders, but her detached sleeves have several medallions connected to them. Tassels hang from each medallion. I’m curious about them, but I can’t make them out from this distance.

  "Was she someone of great importance to you," she says, watching the repeated exchange between Ethel and my younger self with curiosity.

  "Yeah, my nanny. She was the closest thing I had to a mom."

  "So that’s how it is."

  "Hey, is this place real?" I ask, unable to keep the question contained any longer.

  "Are memories real?" she counters, her gaze still fixed upon the looping scene.

  I hesitate, unsure how to respond. But she continues, her voice soft yet insistent. "I've been watching you for quite some time now, Clara Crowsong. I've become increasingly interested in your story."

  "Who are you?"

  "I do not know my name," she admits, her expression tinged with regret.

  "What do you mean you don't know? I can’t accept that as an answer."

  "Do you think I had a mother too?" she asks, still watching the tender interaction between the two with an unknown longing.

  "Well, yeah. Everyone has a mom..." I grumble, struggling to follow the conversation.

  "I have forgotten everything that I once was."

  It’s a broad statement to make, but the woman doesn’t appear to be lying. I frown at the idea of completely forgetting oneself. But… I don’t have time to waste here now.

  "Well, I’ve got to be getting back. My brother’s in trouble, and he needs me," I say, turning to the gate. I yank on it, but it doesn’t give.

  "It’s okay, time doesn’t move inside the dream like it does out there. We’ve all the time in the world."

  "Really? In that case… If this is a memory, can you take me to another one?"

  "Of course, any memory you desire."

  "Take me to my room."

  With a graceful snap of her fingers, the scene changes in an instant. We stand in my bedroom, the walls adorned with memories of simpler times. The soft glow of moonlight filters through the curtains, and a gentle breeze rolls in. It really was my room. I approach my bed, and I only hesitate for a moment before surrendering to its embrace. As I bury my face into the sheets, I inhale the familiar scent of home, and it envelops me like a bittersweet hug.

  "Is this what you wanted? To lay in this? I don’t understand," she asks, standing at the foot of the bed.

  "Yeah, you should try it," I mumble, my voice muffled by my pillow.

  I’m caught off guard as I fly into the air, it’s only a few inches, but my face goes right back into my pillow. I feel the mattress sink lower, and I look over to see the woman laying face first in the sheets now.

  "It is comfortable. I think I can understand why you wished to come here."

  I hadn’t expected her to actually do it.