* Connecting to irc.dal.net (6667)
* Connected. Now logging in...
* Welcome to the DALnet IRC Network SKa!
Probably just Windows being Windows. Go back to coordinating bot commands.
Twenty minutes later, it happens again. Screen locks. IRC text frozen.
Hard reboot. Reconnect.
* Disconnected (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
* Connecting to irc.dal.net (6667)
* Welcome to the DALnet IRC Network SKa!
That night, it gets worse. Every thirty minutes. Every time I'm in the middle of something—mid-conversation, mid-coordination. The timing feels deliberate.
I check everything. Windows Event Viewer shows nothing useful. Run virus scan—clean. Check my scripts—nothing.
By midnight, I've been through six hard reboots.
The next day isn't better. Eight freezes in three hours. Winter break has just started—I should be enjoying time off, maybe hanging out with friends. Instead, school homework still untouched, I'm stuck cycling through: connect, freeze, reboot, reconnect.
The embarrassment is worse than the technical problem. I have @. Operators don't drop constantly like flaky users. Instead, I'm the unreliable one.
That night after Seinfeld, I send Kaos a private message:
[SKa] my computer keeps freezing. only when im on irc. any idea what could cause that?
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[Kaos] yeah i might know
[Kaos] someone was probably hitting you with boink or teardrop
[SKa] whats that?
[Kaos] packet attack. sends malformed data to your IP, crashes windows
[Kaos] boink.c sends fragmented UDP packets. teardrop.c sends overlapping IP fragments
[SKa] they can do that? just freeze my computer?
[Kaos] if they know your IP yeah. windows cant handle it. system just gives up
Someone has been attacking my actual computer.
[SKa] who did it?
[Kaos] could be anyone. someone you pissed off in a channel maybe
[Kaos] or could be someone bigger
[SKa] bigger?
Pause. Longer than usual.
[Kaos] there are groups. serious operations. they watch irc, target operators sometimes. test defenses
[Kaos] i dont know for sure but if youre getting hit that systematically...
[SKa] what groups?
[Kaos] the kind you dont ask about
[Kaos] just be careful who you piss off. and get off windows if you want to keep operating
[SKa] how?
[Kaos] linux. unix. run from shell accounts where your home IP isnt exposed
[Kaos] windows is too vulnerable. thats why most operators dont run it
I think about that. All the @ symbols, all the power in channels—none of it matters if someone can just shut down my computer whenever they want.
[SKa] can you help me get shell accounts?
[Kaos] theres paid services. shell city, some others. like 20 bucks a month
[SKa] i dont have that kind of money
[Kaos] you could trade for access. fileserv credits, channel ops, stuff like that
[SKa] what if i cant get anyone to trade?
Longer pause this time.
[Kaos] then youre looking at the third option
[Kaos] breaking in yourself
[SKa] people do that?
[Kaos] yeah. a lot of the shells you see operators using, theyre not paid for
[Kaos] university systems, government labs, companies with weak security
[Kaos] but listen. channel ops is one thing. running bots, managing channels, fileservs - thats irc
[Kaos] breaking into systems? thats different. thats actual hacking
[Kaos] you could get in real trouble. not just getting banned from irc. actual legal trouble
[Kaos] ive seen people get caught. its not worth it
[SKa] but how did you learn all this?
[Kaos] i learned without crossing certain lines. you can too
[Kaos] i run channels, i script, i know the systems. but im not breaking into servers
[Kaos] thats where it gets dangerous
I sit back. Kaos is drawing a line. Saying there's a place he won't go.
But I've just been attacked. My computer shut down remotely, repeatedly, and I couldn't defend against it. I couldn't even figure out what was happening until he explained it.
[SKa] alright. thanks for explaining
[Kaos] no problem. just think about what i said
The dark screen stares back after I log off. Someone shut down my computer. From across the internet. Multiple times. Made me look incompetent because I'm running Windows from my home connection.
Kaos's warning: "Actual legal trouble. I've seen people get caught."
Okay. But what are my options?
Stay on Windows. Keep getting attacked. Keep dropping out. Keep looking like I can't defend myself.
Or learn Linux. Figure out shell accounts. Stop being an easy target.
The warning is real. People get caught. That's a fact.
Also a fact: I just got owned repeatedly and can't do anything about it.
I need to solve this problem.
Linux. That's the first step. I'll figure out how tomorrow.
Kaos has drawn his line.
I'm crossing it.