“What the…?” I thought, taken aback. The soldier's appearance was almost as startling as that of the Troll. He was wearing full plate mail, but carried his helmet at his side. It made his head look unusually small. The bar’s old plank floor creaked under his every step.

  The armor was nice, but on second glance, I could tell it wasn’t just for show. It had dents and scrapes like he’d been in a fight only recently. He was missing a gauntlet, and his arm was bleeding. No… no, it was covered in dried blood but not bleeding.

  “Where is the girl called Elmerina?” he called, his voice commanding and kind of scary. He had blond hair cut short and eyes that were the lightest shade of brown I’d ever seen. He was probably in his forties because of the wrinkles around his eyes.

  Mom, Norman, Eysee, and even Burnom immediately put themselves between the guard and me.

  “What do you want with her?” Norman asked, his eyes surprisingly hard for a small-town healer facing down a soldier.

  “To apologize,” he said.

  I blinked, as did the healer.

  “I-it’s okay. I’m not made of glass,” I said, pulling the young girl aside to allow the man to see me. The others reluctantly allowed the soldier through.

  His eyes narrowed in suspicion at my comment, and I immediately realized that euphemism wasn’t common here, with the scarcity of glass. Fortunately, he disregarded it and knelt in front of me.

  “My dear, I’m sorry. It was my fault the troll got through. We feared the worst when we realized it had reached a village.”

  “Uh… that’s okay? No harm done? W-wait, no one got hurt, right?”

  “No,” he said with certainty. “None were harmed save you, it seems.”

  I smiled a little. “That’s good then. Healer Normoran said I’d be fine.”

  “Thank the heavens,” he said, proffering his hand. “I am Lieutenant Berkenem, Fourth Division of the Tacurian Royal Army. My detachment was assigned to chase a breakout of the damn beasts, but they spread in all directions. We were too late to stop them all and have been tracking that last one for days. Please, forgive me.”

  He actually bowed his head, making me feel uncomfortable.

  “I… uhh. Y-you’re forgiven, Lieutenant.”

  I shook his hand, feeling oddly vindicated from my rage earlier. The army was doing something about this. “Did… you kill it?”

  He shook his head. “No. The Hunter—Korlotom, I believe?—finished the beast as my squad arrived. A ludicrously impressive feat for a small village hunter. Naturally, we wanted to know how he did it.”

  I grinned, feeling returning to my limbs as my beating heart finally began to calm down. This… was fine. He was pretty much just asking for a story. It was just a bit more non-fiction than I usually told. “W-well, I certainly didn’t hurt it, that’s for sure. W-was it still rolling around on the ground when Tom got there?”

  “So he says. What did you do to it? Some hedge magic?” he asked.

  “That was my pepper paste,” I said.

  “Pepper… paste?” he said with almost the same expression Hadra had when I told her about it.

  “It was a failed experiment. I was trying to make something girls could use to discourage unwanted advances. Like carrying a knife, but less… fatal.”

  His eyes narrowed. Mom’s did the opposite, widening in horror. I quickly realized I’d pretty much just implied someone was trying to assault me to the military police and expected them not to make a big deal out of it. I backpedaled immediately.

  “N-not that I’ve had any trouble with that! This town has always been peaceful. I’ve just heard some stories! It pays to be prepared, you know!?”

  He relaxed, but my Mom didn’t.

  “Luck favors the sharpened blade,” he said with a surprisingly respectful nod. “You used this paste on the War Troll?” he asked.

  “I couldn’t think of any other way to escape,” I said. “It was faster than a wolf! Blinding it was the only way I thought I might get away… so I let it grab me and then smeared the stuff all over its face.”

  “Oh, heavens!” Hadra exclaimed.

  “Honey?” Mom interrupted, “Not that I’m not grateful, but why… why would you make this? Has someone been–?”

  “No!” I lied. “No, I swear. It was a ‘just in case’ sort of idea. That's all.”

  Akkiwa, a girl who lived a long way out of town, had told me in confidence that she thought some boys from a neighboring village were hovering around the ranch while her father was away. Nothing had happened, but I gave the invention a shot in the hopes of giving her a second layer of defense.

  What I’d gotten was a disgusting, stinky paste that was tough to even get near, let alone carry around on my person. That was technically exactly what I was going for… but also not.

  Ground chili peppers, vinegar, mace, oil, and other spices had all been ground into the mix, bought with my story telling earnings, only to end up mostly wasted as I didn’t have enough oil to make it into a liquid. Even then I didn’t have a way to contain it’s smell, or a way to spray it. A failure all around, really.

  Peppers were surprisingly easy to come by. Oil, less so.

  Mom let the matter drop, but I could tell she was worried. I hadn’t heard the last of this.

  Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

  “This paste,” Berkenem asked slowly. “Do you think you could make more of it?”

  “Uh… I think so. I don’t know why you’d want it, though. I was about to throw it away. It was supposed to be a liquid. You could… y’know. Splash it in someone’s face, and then while they're blinded, you run away. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of a sensible way to carry such a gross substance around without spilling it everywhere and stinking to high heaven.”

  Making a can to hold it was beyond my current resources. I could seal the stuff in a clay ball and heat it until the ball was breakable. If I did that, the only obvious way to use it was to break the clay on someone’s face. At that point, Akkiwa might as well have just had a knife.

  “She’ll patent the product,” Mom said suddenly. “She’ll have it perfected within a fortnight. We can get it into a liquid form and use sheep bladders to store it.”

  I blinked. “Wait, what?”

  The man turned to my mom and grinned. “A shrewd mother for a shrewd daughter.”

  Mom snickered but gave a subtle bow. “Anything to help the military, sir.”

  I… Wait… bladders. Sheep bladders! Of fucking course!

  Dammit, maybe I am an idiot. It certainly wasn’t a plastic bottle or even close to an aerosol can, but it would get the job done! The bar even used them sometimes to store wine. They hadn’t even crossed my mind, though, because… uhm…. icky. I’d also somehow never considered that soldiers might not give a fuck about how stinky the stuff was if it could knock out a War Troll! As a war weapon, the clay balls idea might be useful too!

  Mom was a genius.

  “Is it safe to assume you’d rather not show me how the paste is created?” he asked, turning back to me.

  I panicked and looked back to Mom, who was smiling wide as she shook her head.

  “I…! Uh, not at this time, sir!” I squeaked.

  He chuckled and stood back to his full height.

  “Dammit if we don’t have a few new nobles here soon. Wonderful work, Miss Farmer. The Duchess’s scribes will likely be along to speak with you, Ma’am. The military would kill for this.” he paused, a worried expression on his face. “I mean that literally, so please don’t be too stingy.”

  “Oh I don’t intend to be, of course. What do you think the going rate for a weapon that can blind War Trolls would be? Hmm?”

  The man furrowed his brow in thought. “I don’t rightly know. Hard to put a price on something that could save your life.”

  “And yet, needs must,” mom said, looking at me shrewdly.

  I immediately understood what she was doing. Guessing at how much it cost me to make the stuff. She knew how much money I made at the bar from donations for my stories and she knew how much she gave me to spend each week. It wasn’t a lot. Maybe fourty copper a week?

  “A silver, per handheld dose,” she said after leaning in just close enough so only I could hear. “Does that seem fair?”

  I choked, and tried my best go unnoticed.

  “Eighty copper,” he responded immediately, also whispering.

  “Done,” Mom said with a cheeky grin.

  The man scowled. “I’ve been fleeced, haven’t I?”

  “That depends. A revolutionary weapon in the Everwar? And you, the man who discovered it in a backwater village like Pemolar’s Hill?”

  He snickered. Then grinned. The two held each other’s gazes for a long moment.

  “Are you, by chance, unmarried, Miss…?”

  Mom laughed. “Atrinaska Farmer. And I am married, quite happily.”

  “Ah. All the best ones are,” the soldier sighed before turning back towards me. “Heal well, Miss Elmerina. And well done. The army thanks you.”

  “Uh… s-sure? Any time?”

  I was young in body but old in spirit, and I knew what had just happened. I just was having trouble believing it. What did Mom – Atrinaska Farmer – know about patents? Hell, I’d lived here for just shy of eighteen years, and I hadn’t even known this country had patents! And the flirting!?

  I just decided to put that out of my mind.

  The moment the soldier left, Mom’s expression immediately dropped. “Who has threatened you, Mera? I’ll have the name right now, and when I do, I’ll wring their neck.”

  I paled. Did… did she have to use that particular threat?

  “N-nobody. I wasn’t lying. It… it was for…” I glanced around. We’d become a bit of a spectacle, and half the town was either hanging around outside the windows or sitting in chairs just watching the scene unfold. Normally, I was fine being the center of attention, but right now, it felt awkward, and I was still… jittery. I’d been inches from death today. Again.

  Rather than speak aloud, I leaned close to Mom and whispered, “Akkiwa. Boys from the next village scared her. I don't think anything happened, but…”

  Mom’s eyes softened slightly. “Of course, it would be her. You should have come to me with this the moment you suspected something… but perhaps if you hadn’t made your paste, you wouldn’t even be here now. Every quest in its time.”

  I gave a half-shrug in apology. Akkiwa hadn’t wanted to make a scene, which was precisely what would happen now. The shy girl was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen in either life, and I was pretty sure she was even kinder on the inside than she was beautiful. She hated attention. Now, she and her father would have patrols wandering up and down their ranch for months.

  Still, it was better than the alternative. Hopefully, she’d forgive me.

  “Well, for now, everything is okay. Lets think about nicer things. Did surviving a Troll attack get you any new skills, dear?”

  My eyes widened.

  “Heavens, I didn’t even look!” I said, immediately pulling up my skills list.

  You developed the new skill Combat.

  Your Combat skill has improved!

  Your Endurance skill has Improved!

  You developed the new skill Improvised Weapons!

  Your Improvised Weapons skill has improved by 4 points!

  You developed the new skill One Handed Weapons!

  Your One Handed Weapons skill has improved by 2 points!

  Your Running skill has Improved by 2 points!

  For Leveling Up, you gain 3 free points!

  “One, two… three… Eight. Eight new points and three new skills!” I exclaimed excitedly. I certainly wouldn’t want to do it again, but at least there were quite a few bonuses for surviving my first fight in two lives.

  “That’s good. All the better for tomorrow. As for the paste… we’ll have to talk about that when you’re better rested, but I hope you didn’t mind me interrupting. A handheld liquid that can protect even little girls from War Trolls? That could be worth more than our entire farm. You are a treasure, Mera.”

  I beamed with pride. “I know. It’s nice to hear it now and then, though.”

  “The fact that you almost threw it away!? You really are my little spoiled onion.”

  I grimaced while she laughed and hugged me, perhaps a little too tightly.

  She had to knock me off my high horse, didn’t she?