“Come here,” Pinky said, gentle with my uncertainty. Leaning back and removing Hads from my lap where she’d been half-squished, she urged me further over until I swung a leg across her thighs and knelt straddling her lap as she sat back against the headboard. Letting her hands drop to my waist, she gently tugged me closer. “We can start by kissing,” she whispered and I instantly licked and bit my lips, flushing when she laughed quietly. “Have you ever kissed a boy?” she asked. I shook my head.

  “Okay. Close your eyes and lean in and just feel what I do, okay?”

  “Okay.” I did just that, hesitantly putting my hands on her shoulders to keep from falling right into her. “That’s it,” she said, and I felt her breath on my cheek and then a touch, feather-light on my lips. Another touch with more pressure against my upper lip. More touches, mild suction like she was making a light seal of our lips and gently pulling mine. She’d put on a lip moisturizer when we’d been getting ready for bed and her lips were soft. “Is that good?” she whispered into my mouth.

  “Uh-huh.” The word was a punctuated breath and I felt her smile. She moved to my lower lip with the same gentle suction and even a light scratch of teeth, just a little, every motion slow, then slower, then stopping. “You can reciprocate a little, if you want,” she invited, lips brushing my cheek with her words.

  I leaned back, opening my eyes. “I can?” Then I laughed. Of course I could.

  “Mmhm.” She nodded, eyes twinkling, but if she found this funny she didn’t show it as I made sure I got the angle right to avoid nose-bumping—I knew that much at least—closed the gap, and touched her lips softly, like I was pushing against fine tissue. When they pushed back in response I tentatively mirrored her, light breaths and soft brushes and suction until she took over again. Moving her lips away from mine and along my jaw to beneath my ear, she found a spot that made me shiver. Chuckling at that, she leaned back against her headboard and gently pulled me forward and down until I lay against her soft breasts, my head on her shoulder and her arms around me. I realized my arms had done the same, hugging her back.

  “That was very good,” she said solemnly, and I giggled. “How did it feel?”

  “It was nice. I liked it a lot.” I felt warm and relaxed and a little excited, no longer jittery and half panicking at the thought that I’m going to have sex! Even with all we hadn’t done yet it didn’t feel like it could get more intimate than this.

  “Okay,” she said. “Sit back a little.” When I straightened, giving her a little space, she reached down and pulled up her nightshirt, tugging it off over her head. Bare from the waist up, she was all pale skin above her pink panties. Just looking, all my breath left me.

  Pink for Pinky. “You’re beautiful.”

  And she was, all soft curves where I was bony angles. Delia might have tried to hang the “Twinkie” label on her, and Pinky didn’t fit the tight-bodied athletic ideal that seemed to be the thing right now, but she wasn’t fat by any stretch. Her waist was much smaller than her wide hips, her flesh softly contoured to her muscles and sitting on her bones without highlighting them. I couldn’t count her individual ribs like I could on my own chest. Straddling her lap and looking down at them, her breasts were smaller than Delia’s, maybe small for her size, but as rounded and soft as the rest of her. They swelled gently out from her chest, her lovely pink nipples shading into her pale skin. Her whole body matched her face, lush and lovely.

  “Your breasts are like fawns,” I whispered reverently, “twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.”

  “What?” she laughed, blinking.

  “I heard it in Sunday school.”

  “Sunday school? I’m going to the wrong church.” She rolled her eyes but her cheeks dimpled as she smiled at me. “You can touch, you know. Or you can stare all night if it’s that fun for you.”

  I flushed. “You really are beautiful, Pinky,” I said, dragging my eyes up to smile for her. Lifting a hand I traced her collarbone, dropping to follow her sternum down and run light fingers over a soft breast. She shivered and I looked at her for permission before gently cupping it, then cupping them both and leaning in to hesitantly kiss her again.

  I felt electric. This was all my fantasies, real and warm and making every imagined thrill in my horrible childhood and lonely adulthood the palest shadow of reality. I wasn’t what I’d been in those fantasies—the furthest from it—but this was what I’d dreamed of doing. Touching a woman. Appreciating a woman. Wanting a woman who liked and wanted me, though I had no coherent map to what that want really meant now. When I brushed Pinky’s tightening nipples with my thumbs she shivered, reaching for my nightshirt.

  When I stiffened, her hands stopped. “May I?”

  I nodded, forcing the tension from my spine and, leaning back, rose on my knees a bit so she could pull my longer nightshirt up from below my butt, lifting my arms higher and bending as, laughing, she stretched up to tug it over my head.

  Uncovered, I covered myself automatically before dropping my hands to let her look at me. I was almost as pale as my white panties, less pink than Pinky so my flaming ginger hair made a startling contrast I’d seen enough times in the mirror. My poky nipples and sharp bones were nothing like her softness, but she didn’t laugh. Instead she shifted, a hand on my waist guiding me over on my side and then to my back as she scooted down and turned so she lay half over me.

  Not knowing what to do with my hands, I finally rested them on the bed to either side of my pillow, out of her way as she touched me in turn. Exploring my more angular contours, she plucked a nipple already high and stiff like a tiny erection as I squirmed. “You’re like this delicate porcelain doll,” she finally said, sounding like she meant it.

  “Too delicate,” I laughed self-consciously. “I’m a Spartan Girl now.” My transformation really had left me with almost no muscles, just skin and bones.

  Frowning, she leaned in to kiss the corner of my mouth. “Hadley will put some meat on you, buff you up a little, but can’t make you any cuter. I want to dress you up and have a tea party with you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Now that’s an image.”

  “Hush, I’m complimenting you and I don’t lie. I have the prettiest little sister in Hadley Upper.” Moving down she dropped a kiss on my plucked nipple, sucking it between her teeth as I squeaked and closed my hands on air. “Now I don’t know if you’ve thought about how to proceed,” she said as I shivered at the feeling that had shot from my nipple right to my center, “but I was thinking about how you thinking about what Lizard did to me made you wet. And about what he did to lucky Ms. Hollander in your dream that made you come. Would you like that?”

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  How was it possible for the blood to leave my head and for me to blush like a furnace at the same time? I covered my mouth with both hands for no reason except I suddenly felt like I was going to hyperventilate. Pinky was offering to go down on me? Eat me out? Put her tongue in my . . . I squeaked into my hands.

  She pulled them away. “Was that a yes? Because I need affirmative consent, here.” She was laughing at me now and I didn’t care. “Yes,” I whispered, and suddenly felt like crying, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes for no reason. “Yes, please. I’d like that.” The warmth had followed the lightning down to heat my core.

  I must have sounded off because she looked into my eyes for a long moment, clear blue gazing into my wet shimmering green. “You’re sure? Because if this is too much we can stop. We can put our nightshirts back on and turn out the lights and just cuddle. I won’t be disappointed.”

  I shook my head violently. “I do want it, I’m just . . . I want it.”

  “Okay.” Stroking my hair back from my face she kissed me again, a long gentle kiss ending with a peck on my nose that made me wiggle it. “Hey!”

  She laughed. “I’d tickle you,” she whispered, “but I don’t want to break our momentum.” She lightly squeezed my nipple again, making my breath hitch, before moving her hand down my stomach to the edge of my panties. Sitting half up she turned to look down my body, sliding her fingers along the line between pale skin and white cotton as I tried to keep my breathing steady. Eyes back on mine, she scooted down to be level with my hips and put her hands on my panties, the last thing between me and nakedness, and waited. When I nodded, she slowly pulled them down my legs, over my knees and past my feet to drop them on the blankets.

  I squeezed my knees together before forcing myself to relax as her eyes dropped to my smooth mound and cleft before returning to mine. “You’re alright?”

  I nodded again. Desperately fighting the urge to curl up and cover myself, I put my hands back where they’d been by my pillow and tried to breathe the tension away.

  Before I knew what she was doing Pinky bent down and planted a soft kiss on my bare mons, shooting lightning through my whole body and making me twitch and gasp. She smiled. “So beautiful,” she whispered, and I pushed back tears as I followed her nudging direction to open my legs. Settling between them at the bottom of the bed, she caught my gaze again, her hands on my thighs urging them further apart. Swallowing, I lifted my legs to draw my knees up and let them fall outward, giving her more room. “That’s it,” she approved. “Good girl, just like that.” She could see all of me, now, I’d never felt so exposed, not even in Dr. James’ chair. And so like I was floating, it was almost too much.

  Looking up to check that I was still okay, Pinky began stroking my thighs like she was petting a cat, gliding her hands up closer and closer to my center each time as I tried to keep my breathing even and my hands closed on nothing. “That’s it,” she repeated softly, “that’s it.” Lowering her head she breathed on me, a warm puff before planting another kiss and then another as I twitched each time. “So pretty.” Humming to herself, she gave me a moment to relax again. Then she touched me, a light finger right on my entrance, and I almost levitated off the bed. She giggled, gasping theatrically. “You’re already so wet.”

  I nodded spastically. “It happens fast—ah!” I gasped and sucked in air as she slid a fingertip inside me.

  “Wow, okay I’d better do this before you pop.”

  I bit my lips to keep from begging. “Mmm-hmmm.”

  Despite what she’d said she stopped moving her hands. After several shaky breaths I relaxed again, and when I did her thumbs moved up my vulva to spread my engorged inner lips. Resting on her elbows, she studied me there as I flushed and tried to breathe. “So pretty,” she said again. She moved her fingers and then—

  “Aahh!” I twitched violently away from her tongue on my clit and her head popped up so she was looking up my body at me. “Are you alright?”

  “Don’t—don’t . . . my clit is too sensitive to . . . I don’t touch it, directly,” I managed.

  “Sorry.” She kissed my mons again, still looking up, and the erotic sight of her mouth on me made me tighten. “It’s good your clit’s a little thing, then. Your hood covers it completely until you pull it back.” She gave it a tongue-tap, over the hood this time but still making me gasp and twitch again though this time it was bearable. “Got it, no direct contact.” Instead, she placed her mouth right on top of it and hummed and suddenly I wanted to climb out of my skin as my breathing hitched and my pussy pulsed beneath her mouth. It was all I could do not to close my legs around her head as, arching, I grabbed my pillow with both hands for something to hold onto. “I’m going to—I’m going to—” I couldn’t put any breath in the words but she must have heard because she dropped lower and I felt her tongue rim my entrance and then push into me and— I exploded, yelling, shaking, my vagina clenching as light burst behind my eyes.

  “Hey. Hey.” Pinky’s hands were on my cheeks, framing my face, and I realized she’d climbed back up as I shook to lie alongside me. And I was crying. “Hey,” she whispered again as my eyes focused on hers. “Really, are you alright?” I nodded, feeling tears pooling in my hair around my ears.

  “Yes,” I finally got out. “Yes. I, I do this sometimes.” Finding the use of my hands, I used the one not trapped where she lay against my side to wipe my eyes. She looked a little doubtful and I giggled wetly.

  “Okay . . .” she said at last. “But that was a scary amazing response. Practically an episode.” Stroking my wet hair—I felt soaked above and below—she relaxed against me, giving me time to settle back into myself. “Hey,” she said again, long minutes later, and I realized I’d started drifting off. Dammit, wasn’t it the guy who was supposed to fall right to sleep after sex? I wasn’t the guy anymore.

  “You’re not the guy?” she laughed. “Good to know, whatever that means.”

  I’d said that? I giggled. “Outside voice! And, it’s your turn. Right? It’s only fair.”

  She grinned. “My turn. But with the state you’re in I’m changing my plans. You can barely move.”

  “I can move.” I tried to sit up and she wouldn’t let me. “None of that, little girl.” She kissed my nose again. “You’re just fine where you are.”

  I huffed, looking up at her, but she seemed serious. “Okay?”

  “Good. Don’t move.” Sitting up, she shimmied her pink panties off and knelt beside me, running her hands up between her legs. I raised my head to see she kept a trim patch over her mound, blond but darker than on her head. “Uh-uh. Head on your pillow.” I huffed again and complied as she straddled me, knees on either side of my hips. “Now,” she said, spreading herself over me, weight on her hands, “Bend your knee and pull your right foot up flat on the bed, put your leg up into me.”

  “Oh,” I said, remembering one of the illustrations from A Pillow Book. Doing as she told me, I felt the wet heat of her against my raised leg and shivered a little, taking a breath. This I could do.

  “That’s it,” she encouraged me. “Now keep it up there but relax.” Starting to move, she ground herself against my leg, riding my thigh in easy, slow strokes, eyes on mine and then distant as she moved. “You’ve inspired me,” she whispered, almost laughing as her breathing hitched and quickened. “Won’t be . . . long.”

  “Take forever,” I said, entranced. I touched her face with my hands, tracing her cheeks. “Please.”

  “Alright . . . aaahh, no.” Her rocking sped up, her breasts swaying beneath her as I lost myself in wonder at what she was doing with me. Finally she bent closer to kiss me hard, gasping into my mouth and kissing me again. “I’m . . . I’m . . . aaah! Aahh!” She stopped rocking and started shaking above me, tremors wracking her body until she collapsed on top of me, burying her face in my neck with an “Mmmph!” Wrapping my arms around her, I held on tight while she came for what felt like forever until eventually her shudders died. She started laughing and that set me off.

  “Why are you laughing? I’m squishing you!”

  I giggled. “No, I’ve just—been here before too. Glad to know I’m not the only laugher.”

  She went boneless, sliding to the side and off me as I held on. I really didn’t want to let go. “That,” she sighed, “may be the best sapphic loving I’ve ever had.”

  “You did everything,” I protested, giggling. “And sure, like you’ve had so much of it.” So this was what a real endorphin high felt like. Everything I’d done to myself before felt shallow, now. Everything we said seemed funny.

  She obviously thought so, too, laughing at that. “True,” she said. “My big sister introduced me to it last year, but I can’t claim a breadth of experience.”

  “Uh-huh.” When I snuggled in, she tapped my arm. “Hey. Sleepyhead. We need to clean up.”

  “Do we have to?”

  “Yes. But it’ll be quick. And a little fun.”

  It was. She grabbed a soft makeup towel and cleaned my thigh and pussy and then herself before redressing us both as I grumbled and giggled (a small bit of tickling was involved) and then tucked me in against her softness. I fell asleep as the little spoon, hugging Hads against my chest.