I groaned awake. There was a commotion going around. Bodies moving. I was hot. Burning hot. Yet, it felt so good, even with my head spinning. I pulled myself out and the cold air felt nice on my skin. Carefully I exited and dressed in my newly acquired clothing.

  The bathhouse had a nice selection of items from different milk flavors to even canned beers. I went ahead and bought a couple of beers and headed back. It was getting dark. The sun was beginning its descent. The sidewalk was quickly depopulating as people went back home and left the streets. I grabbed some food from a convenience store near the apartment building and before long arrived back at my new home.

  Having a place to stay, felt oddly good, despite the conditions. It reminded me a bit of my teenage years, shortly after… Mm… better not think of that. Not now. Back in my room I opened up the balcony door to let the room air out. I grabbed my food and my cold beer and just ate on the balcony ledge.

  The view was surprisingly good. There was a small gap between buildings, just enough of a gap that I could see the sun setting. While I ate and drank. I thought over everything that happened and what it meant.

  The bath had helped me loosen up, but… I couldn’t help but think something would happen. That there was something coming. For a moment, a blessed moment I was allowed to forget what I did… Yet…

  Shaking the thoughts away, I chugged down the can of cold beer. Letting out a loud sigh of contentment.

  “I’m not me.” I said aloud. “I’m apparently not in the United States. The city, is entirely unknown to me.” I continued, cracking open another can. “Here… I can be free.” That officer’s words, Grim’s words rang out in my head. It felt stupid and yet… I downed the can, chugging it down. Already I could feel the buzz dulling my senses.

  “I CAN BE FREE!” I screamed out, wanting to believe those words with every ounce of my being. My words carried out over the empty streets. The streetlights began to flicker on, and the sun began to finish its descent. I crushed the can. I let the alcohol do its work, working away at my inhibitions, letting myself for a single moment loosen up. And once more, I let out my voice. I let out a cry. Unleashing every single ounce of bottled-up frustration, anger, hopelessness out in one long cry.

  When I finally stopped. Darkness was beginning to set in. I panted. I felt drained and empty. Like I had been hollowed out. With a tired smile, I went back into my room, shutting the balcony door before leaning against a corner, piling plastic bags over me, and fell into sleep.

  The next day came all too quickly. I explored the town. I went to the Commercial district and visited the Purgatory Mall. They had just about everything, including a tailor. I went ahead and had them take my measurements for a pair of suits. I went ahead and bought underwear and clothing. I had quite the pile at one point, and it was becoming a burden.

  “Miss, need some help?” An older gentleman with silver hair stepped up. He was wearing a nice suit. A complete contrast to my current simple attire. I considered turning him away, but… it was a lot, and I did need help.

  “That would be nice.” I finally admitted, once more abandoning needless pride. I went to give him half, but before I could protest, he ended up taking all of the bags off me. He accompanied me on the rest of my errands without a single fuss.

  It was strange… I felt bad each time he took something, but he always did it with a smile and a kind word. In the end, I managed to convince him to let me treat him to a meal.

  I imagine it wasn’t what he was used to, eating in a food court at a mall, but he took to it well. With both of us settled in, with perhaps the most American item possible, a burger and fires, with a milkshake to boot I spoke up.

  “I don’t know what I would have done without your help.”

  “It’s no problem. I saw a young woman in trouble, and I decided to help. Nothing for it.” He said it with such casual ease, that I couldn’t help but believe him.

  Is this what women normally deal with? Or… was this guy just different? Had I had anything worth stealing, maybe I would have been more on guard, but… I didn’t look like much right now.

  “I’m just not used to anyone offering to help me, so it came to me a as surprise when you offered.” I explained.

  “Well, that doesn’t seem right. A young woman like yourself should have all the men lining up to help her out.”

  That… it was strange. I didn’t really know how to respond, so I pivoted. “By the way, I didn’t get your name. I’m Prima, Prima Belle.” I offered a hand. The man smiled and took it and gave it a light peck with his lips. Ignoring how both of our hands were likely greasy from the fries and salt.

  “Jason Torres.” He replied back calmly, ignoring me fidgeting in my chair at the sudden unexpected action he had taken. Instead of questioning it, or confronting it, I started to dig in and he followed.

  While we ate, I took short glances at him. Mr. Torres was the very definition of a silver fox, silver hair, silver eyes, an aged, but refined appearance. I know many women would swoon at his appearance. It didn’t help that he carried himself like a true gentleman, his manners were impeccable, even as he ate a greasy burger. Then there was the finely trimmed beard. He clearly came from wealth.

  Once again, a bit of doubt reared its head. But… I didn’t have anything he could want, right?

  As we finished, he spoke up. “Are you from out of town?”

  “I am, what gave it away?”

  “I don’t know, but… not everybody goes out to buy a futon and appliances all at once.”

  Ah… makes sense. “Thank you, again.” I bowed my head, he laughed.

  “I’m just glad I could help you. By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have a job yet, right?”

  “When I was at the City Hall they enrolled me for a job.”

  “Oh? What company?”

  I thought on that… “I think, The Taurus Corporation.”

  He smiled widely at that. “Is that so? Well, I hope you enjoy seeing how you turn out.”

  That was an odd response, but before I could ask what he meant by that, a phone beeped. “Ah, my apologies.” He then pulls out his phone and frowns for a moment. “It appears I’m needed back at the office.”

  “No need to apologize Mr. Torres, You’ve helped me plenty. I’m sure I can get this mess back home without a problem.”

  “There’s no need for formalities Miss Belle, simply call me Jason.”

  “Only if you do the same.” We shared a brief laugh.

  “Of course, it was a pleasure meeting you, Prima.”

  “I feel the same Jason. Hopefully we can meet again in the future.”

  “I’m sure we will.” He said confidently before bustling off. I finished my meal and managed to gather my items together and make it home via taxi.

  In short order my room transformed into… I paused and scrutinized the room. A futon in the corner with pillows and blankets. A phone charger for my flip phone. A small electric cooker for making my own meals. Some small pots and pans. I ordered a small fridge to be delivered as well in the next few days. Then there was the tiny antenna television and VHS player. A small bucket to the side filled with my bath necessities…

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  I wouldn’t call it comfortable. It didn’t help that I burned through a chunk of my sign-on bonus in the process, especially with those suits I ordered. They’d be ready by tomorrow, my last day before I have to report for work…

  But… it was home. Or at least, it felt like home. It wasn’t the worst place I had to live in and knowing that I didn’t have a guillotine hanging over my head made a difference. Assuming what Grim had said was true.

  I looked out, the sun was getting low. I gathered up my things, went for a nice relaxing bath. I somehow managed to not fall asleep this time and on my way back I bought some more beers and food.

  Once more, beers in hand, and food at the ready, I had my dinner on the balcony ledge again. Wearing shorts and a simple white shirt that came down to my thighs. I looked out over the city.

  Of course… this time, I wasn’t alone.

  The moment I cracked open the beer I saw it. I nearly jumped out of my skin, but… beside me, standing on the far side of the ledge. Eyeing me, was the rabbit. The rabbit that had caused me to crash, the rabbit that had followed me on the road. That rabbit.

  “Settling in, Pyon?” They… spoke?

  “Pyon?” I voiced out in confusion, more confused by that odd verbal tick near the end. The voice was oddly cute, but it heavily juxtaposed the rabbit’s appearance. Even now, it glowed. Like a full moon on a dark night. Instead of cute, perhaps something high and mighty would have been fitting. Or something more, ethereal, divine.

  “Yes, Pyon, Pyon!” The rabbit returns with absolute certainty.

  Perhaps I was losing it…

  “You’re not losing it, Pyon!”

  Maybe I was going mad.

  “You’re not going mad, Pyon!”

  …And I didn’t need a glowing rabbit reading my mind!

  “I’m Usagi, Pyon, not just a rabbit, Pyon!”

  I stared at the rabbit. Then, without a second thought I chugged down the beer. I was beginning to realize, my new body was quite the lightweight. A single tall can of beer was already getting me buzzed.

  “Alright, yeah, I’m settling in fine, Usagi.”

  I said as calmly as I could, deciding to just go with the madness. I reached for my second beer and cracked it open. Heavily tempted to chug it down, but I paced myself this time.

  “That’s good, Pyon! Not everyone I pick takes the smart route, Pyon! They tend to get themselves killed by staying out after curfew, or by going into the bad parts of town, Pyon! Ah, but that’s what makes a rabbit a rabbit, Pyon, Pyon!

  “That…” I started and paused. I had no idea what to make of it. So, I shifted gears. “You were the one that made me crash.”

  “You were the one going way too fast, Pyon!” The rabbit swiftly retorts.

  “It was a highway.”

  “Even highways have speed limits, Pyon!”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t the one jaywalking.”

  The rabbit cocks its head. An action I thought impossible with its appearance. “Isn’t it the driver’s responsibility to be aware of their surroundings at all times, Pyon?”

  I wanted to argue, but if the rabbit had been a kid, well… I trailed off on that thought. Well, it wouldn’t have mattered, would it? The rabbit wisely stayed silent. I sighed and swirled the can of beer in my hand, listening to the liquid inside slosh back and forth.

  “Tell me, am I really free here?”

  “You are, Pyon! Everything you knew, no longer matters, Pyon!”

  That… should have been terrifying. “Did I die?”

  “Technically, No, Pyon!”

  “Technically?”

  “Technically, Pyon!”

  I glared at it, and I swear, its eyes rolled in their socket.

  “Surely you know about Schrodinger and his cat, Pyon?”

  “I do, something about, the cat existing or not inside the box or something.”

  “Good enough, Pyon… It’s the same for you, Pyon! Did you crash, Pyon, or did you continue your mad dash for the border, Pyon? You could also have been caught by a patrolling cop on the road, Pyon. The possibilities are infinite, Pyon! After all, you did fall down a rabbit hole, Pyon, Pyon!”

  “You mean, you led me down one.” I answered back with as much venom as I could muster, which was surprisingly little.

  “Led would be the wrong word, Pyon. I merely answered a call, a plea for help, Pyon!”

  I was quiet. I didn’t respond. I just stared at the rapidly setting sun. Was I happy, angry? I didn’t know. I just felt… empty. The rabbit’s confirmation that I was free just emphasized that. I leaned down against the concrete balcony and felt the cold stone on my forehead.

  “Why.” I said, my voice trembling.

  “Because, Pyon.”

  “Because.” I said, not quite believing it. “Just because!?” I yelled out, banging my hand against the concrete.

  “Exactly, Pyon.”

  I wanted to get angry, to scream, to roar at the top of my lungs.

  “Just… leave me alone…” The rabbit didn’t respond. “Please…” I pressed, emphasized, pleaded.

  “Of course, ah, but, I’ll be back soon, Pyon. Do take this time to adjust and prepare, Pyon!”

  I wasn’t listening. I waited until I felt the presence fade. And then… I began to cry. Hot tears fell down my face, wetting the concrete. I didn’t stifle the cries. I let them out. Sobbing and letting them wrack through me as I cried.

  I was free and yet…

  I felt hollow and yet…

  This was something else.

  Why now? Why now? Why did it have to be now?

  I couldn’t stop the tears. I didn’t want to. I kept flashing back to that moment. The smell. The feel. Every single moment replayed in my mind in slides. Searing every single instant into my mind and soul.

  Words that branded my very being.

  “You’re no better than me.” A wicked smile on his lips, even as his eyes dulled.

  Without a care, I roared out and threw the half-filled can of beer off my balcony. I didn’t even wait to listen to it clatter to the ground below before I stomped into my room and shut the balcony door with a slam.

  I was nothing like that man.

  And yet…

  I had gone and done that.

  I had done so much, so very much, all to achieve my dream. Even then, even then… I had rules, I kept to them, there were lines I didn’t cross. The moment I had… why is it the moment I had crossed that line, why was it only then that I was pulled out!?

  It made me sick. It had me crying in this very moment. Why couldn’t I have been pulled from that world before I had done the unforgiveable? Why did it have to be then!? I had resolved myself, I had chosen to walk down a path I couldn’t come back from and yet… in one single swoop, I had been pulled free of that path!

  What kind of sick joke was that? If it had been anytime sooner, perhaps, perhaps I could have taken joy from this new life, but now? How could I?

  Through the tears, came out a horrible choking laugh. It wasn’t like I had a say in this. It wasn’t like I had a choice. After all, none of it mattered anymore. My dreams, my desires, my sacrifices, all… all just moot, dust in the wind.

  Eventually the tears dried. Eventually, I pulled myself under the covers and eventually, I fell asleep yet…

  Dreams… Memories. Childhood. I remember… expansive halls. Distant parents. A large estate. A frozen lake.

  Every winter, I would look outside at the lake. Stare at it in wonder and longing.

  Then one day, one Christmas day, my parents gave me a gift. A large red present. The only present they ever gave me. Inside were ice skates. Expensive no doubt, but… I remember the joy. The laughter. I couldn’t wait to go out and skate on the ice. I failed and fell countless times. My body bloody and scratched by the time I came in.

  Still, every day I went at it until the ice thawed. Even then, I continued whenever I could at the local ice rinks. The feeling of freedom, like I was free of my burdens, almost like I was flying. I never considered if I was good or not, only that I was doing it…

  And then… one winter, one warm winter… The ice broke. One moment I was laughing and skating on that lake. The next, I was in the water. Drowning. Freezing. Dying…

  The current was strong. Sweeping me up. I could feel the chill covering me from head to toe. Pulling at me. Whispering at me to sleep to give in.

  How many times had I had this dream? How many more times would I have it?

  Only a single ray of light beamed from above. A single opening, a single hope.

  Like every time this dream occurred, I swam up, my hand reached for the light…

  Only... Today was different. Just before my hand could breach the surface, something grabbed me by the ankle. A hand, so slight, so small, yet, cold and hard as iron. I felt it pull me down into the depths. I tried to fight it, to swim up, clawing at the water to no avail.

  The last dregs of air in my lungs burst out. Icy water flowed into my lungs, accelerating my descent. Just as my vision began to blur, as the cold took hold, I saw a blurred figure, watching, judging, anticipating from afar…

  I gasped awake. The morning sun filtering in through the gap between buildings. Every breath came out in dazzling mist. Frost covering every surface of the room.

  Had it really gotten that cold over the night?

  I threw open the balcony door to let the morning warmth sweep in and chase away the cold.

  I took a moment to just rest. To pause. My eyes flitted to the pile of bloody clothing that had been my suit. I stared and stared and eventually I went forward and picked it up, rifled through the pockets. I hadn’t thought about it in some time.

  Even then, I felt like more than ever, that pull. Inside the suit jacket, was a familiar item. An old cigarette carton. Inside jangled a single cigarette. A reminder of what had been, an oath.

  The carton wasn’t anything fancy. Weathered with age, a stylized graphic of a golden snake wrapping around the carton. The name long worn away.

  I stared at it as I once again ran through that dream I had, even as the memory quickly faded, I knew it was seared into my mind. I feared that chill. That cold, and yet… even now it called out to me. Sought to embrace me.

  The only thing that ever kept it at bay was a familiar warmth. A smile long abandoned, and a promise made to myself.

  Maybe… Maybe I never was that much different from that man…

  I considered and sighed. Stowing away my momento, I went about my day. Today was my last day before I had to work, might as well make the most of it. As for those dreams, these emotions? I didn’t have time for that.

  All I could do was keep going forward. Same as always.