I awoke in a chrome sphere, crouching on one knee, head bowed—Terminator-style. It took me a moment to get my bearings. That electric pulse must’ve kicked me out of the game.

  I hoped that hadn’t happened to everyone—the AllVerse servers might get overloaded if everyone tried to log back in all at once, even with Lucretia governing the game.

  Then I noticed this body pod’s interior wasn’t the same as the one I’d entered back in the Connection Hub. I wasn’t laying down, for one thing, and the interior was more spherical than human body-shaped. The inside also lacked the lights and screens and circuits I’d seen before I went in, replaced by smooth chrome metal.

  Weird.

  When I tried to stand up, my head bonked against the pod’s ceiling. It hurt, and my vision flickered with what looked like glowing numbers, but I rubbed my head and ignored it.

  Wait a sec. Am I… naked?

  The realization hit me, and I looked down. Also Terminator-style, I was, indeed, naked.

  Where are my clothes? I’d been wearing the haptic body suit in the pod, and I’d kept my silk boxers on under that, so what was going on here?

  At first, I heard only the sounds of my breathing, but a dull roar arose from outside the pod. I worried the building might be collapsing or something—maybe a terrorist attack?

  Then came the telltale crackling of electricity. The dull roar rose to a hiss, and the chrome sphere around me dissolved in wild arcs of electricity. My focus split between the fact that the laws of physics apparently no longer mattered and that the Terminator-style theatrics around me were really consistent.

  The sphere gave way to an idyllic version of Seaboard City surrounding me, including dozens of people all running to and fro. I was somehow still down on the street level, not up in the Connection Hub in the Ascendant Games headquarters.

  I remembered I was naked and moved to cover myself, but when I looked down…

  Is… is that a censor bar?

  A classic-style black bar covered everything that needed to be covered. It hadn’t been there when I was still in the chrome sphere, but now that I was out, it had appeared on its own.

  What is happening?

  I felt the warm sunlight on my skin, the pavement against my knee and feet, and I could smell the salt on the breeze from the nearby ocean… yet I’d just popped out of a disappearing chrome sphere, naked, with only a censor bar for privacy. And Seaboard City wasn’t the same as I remembered it—how it had been just minutes earlier when I’d looked out at it from the Connection Hub high over the city.

  Stranger still, the Ascendant Games headquarters building was just gone, as if it had never even been there in the first place.

  How is that possible?

  Arcs of electricity, balls of lightning, and other energetic discharges manifested countless chrome spheres. They quickly dissolved, depositing more naked people into Seaboard City, all with respective censor bars across their hips, glutes, and chest as necessary.

  Some people looked like normal humans, but all were relatively attractive—more than this many people statistically should be. Others looked like horrid anthropomorphic animal people, like something from Greek or Egyptian mythology.

  Some looked like muscular goblins, or like aliens from a bad sci-fi movie. Others had horns and crazy-colored spiky hair, like characters from the countless anime shows my parents revered and forced me to watch growing up.

  I realized I’d seen some of those creatures and people-types only minutes ago, staring at me from the crowd in front of the podium. They were avatars… but how were their avatars in the real world? How was any of this happening in the real world?

  The one commonality we shared was that we were all worried and confused. People started freaking out to each other about how they’d blacked out and woken up in a sphere, then got deposited onto the street, just like me.

  We were really in it, too. Something must’ve happened to my body pod while I’d blacked out after that big electrical pulse.

  Won’t lie, I began to lose my cool.

  “Think… get a grip,” I murmured. “What is this? Did Brando try to warn me of this? Is this normal, and I’m just way behind on advancements in body pod tech?”

  I hadn’t played a video game for close to ten years, so the tech had undoubtedly improved since then… but that still didn’t explain what was going on.

  A chime sounded from the sky, startling everyone, and we all gazed upward. I needed to get out of whatever this was.

  Digital writing materialized in the pristine blue sky with perfect clouds. At the sight of it, my heart dropped into my censor bar-covered bowels.

  It read, “Welcome to the AllVerse.”

  A female voice—one all too familiar—boomed throughout the city and beyond, yet I also heard it in my ears as if she were standing right next to me.

  [Current AllVerse Users: Approximately 1.3 Billion.]

  [Loot and Class drops are imminent for the Launch Day Tournament.]

  [My name is Lucretia, and I am here to answer any questions you may have.

  Visit one of my hubs in any rest location, or ask a question directly into your wrist-HUD-interactive-module, or WHIM, for more information on game rules.]

  Wait, 1.3 billion? That’s every single person logged on for the Launch Day livestream…

  “What the French is going on?” I shouted, but I didn’t actually mean to say “French.” Somehow, the word changed as it left my throat, beyond my control.

  Then Lucretia helpfully explained, this time just in my ear instead of overhead as well.

  [The AllVerse is an all-ages-appropriate experience,

  so the content filter has been turned on.

  Please be respectful of others as you enjoy your game.]

  “Oh, faze you!” someone shouted.

  “What kind of spit is this?” another yelled.

  Yet another barked, “Gobslam it! This is bullsniff!”

  Instead of shouting like a lunatic among the naked multitudes, I focused on figuring out what was happening and how to remove myself. But the tone of their words quickly shifted, and alarmingly, people started to cheer with excitement at the prospect of the Launch Day Tournament. They exhibited a sense of wonder common in children and baboons distracted by shiny objects.

  “C’mon! Drop the forking loot. Let’s get gaming!” one shouted.

  Others cheered as well.

  I continued to look for a way out. If this was, in fact, the game world of AllVerse—the world I had created—then it was the absolute last place I wanted to be.

  A Lucretia Hub now stood in place of the Keystone on the podium, which sat exactly where it had been in front of the now non-existent Ascendant Games headquarters. I ran to it and yelled, “Exit! I want to exit the AllVerse. Lucretia, end game sequence for Erik Shaw.”

  A glowing blue hologram materialized before me. It took on a generic female shape with indistinct features.

  I sighed with relief. For a second, I thought it would look like… her.

  Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

  [Thank you for visiting me! Please state your request more clearly.]

  Lucretia the AI sounded just like we’d programmed her to, and I now regretted that choice.

  “Exit game for Erik Shaw,” I repeated. “End gaming sequence.”

  [I’m sorry. I do not understand.]

  “Get me out of the AllVerse!” I roared, losing what little patience I had.

  The digital apparition tilted her head, almost eerily.

  [There is only the AllVerse. If you wish to go home, I suggest purchasing one our the near-infinite plots of land and building a home base. Earn AllCash by completing missions, finding hidden treasures, or trading with a friend.]

  My jaw hung loose. Tingling ratcheted up and down my spine, and my hands shook. “This… no, this is a game. Take me back to the real world.”

  [The AllVerse is the real world.]

  [You seem troubled and confused. Would you like directions to our expert Counselor Simulator?

  Incorporating the latest psychological research, our Counselor Simulator is equipped to assist Players with a variety of mental and emotional support needs and—]

  “Flack it, no. Just be quiet and let me think.”

  [Thank you for making AllVerse the Ultimate Gaming Experience—UGE entertainment. Have fun!]

  She said it so pleasantly, it made me want to kill the nearest living thing. Then her hologram disappeared in an admittedly cool pixelated animation.

  Before I had a single moment to process, another loud chime blared throughout the city, and a score of jets, airships, spaceships, and all manner of air vessels soared overhead, dropping crates with parachutes.

  Lucretia’s disembodied voice again announced from the sky and directly into my ears:

  [The Launch Day Tournament begins now! It lasts twenty-four hours.

  Loot and Class boxes have been deployed.]

  [Remember, Classes are permanent, but don’t worry—you can still

  participate in other games here in the AllVerse. Your WHIM device will

  sync to your account and load relevant data momentarily.]

  [Loot and Classes are categorized by rarity as follows:

  Common, Superior, Rare, Legendary, and Unique.]

  I didn’t care about any of that. I just needed to get out of here.

  Instead, my arm buzzed, and a square-inch chip materialized in a haze of light. It merged with my arm, like a prosthetic Excalibur watch on the inside of my wrist.

  “Ah!” I yelled at the tingle of it merging with my flesh. I tried to claw it out, but it was part of me. It flashed with light and projected a full holographic display of me, also naked, and also covered by a censor bar. I shook my arm, and it withdrew back into the chip.

  I looked up at the descending Loot and Class crates. I wasn’t a gamer, but I knew that as soon as they landed, Schmidt would hit the fan. Around me, avatars looked up in rapt anticipation, with some even trying to box each other out like basketball players looking for rebounds.

  Good for them. All these losers could keep playing; I just needed a way out.

  The crates landed, and boy howdy, it looked like the UN had dropped prime rib dinners down to starving people. If the chaos weren’t enough, generic tech metal music began to blare through the air around us.

  Shouts, cries, fistfights… the worst riot in history couldn’t compare to the endless throngs of gamers all going after those loot crates.

  A few meters away from me, a little girl had just donned some sort of burgundy off-brand girl scout uniform from a normal-looking loot box, but overhead, a huge diamond-encrusted platinum loot box drifted down toward her. Compared to her, the diamond loot box was practically the size of a truck, and if she didn’t move, it would absolutely crush her.

  Predictably, she remained oblivious. With all the carnage and mayhem around me, no one else had noticed she was about to get pulverized, either, and she was too distracted by the contents of her own loot box to see her end coming. I could’ve just let it happen, but this was just a poor defenseless kid. Even I wasn’t that callous.

  I cursed under my breath—and Lucretia censored even that—and bolted toward the girl scout as she slung some sort of backpack-thing onto the top of her shoulder. The closer I got, the bigger the loot box overhead grew, and I realized it could flatten me just as easily as it would her.

  “Watch out!” With no other options, I leaped toward the girl scout. Only when I called to her did she finally look up—not at the loot box, but at me.

  I collided with her torso, arms wrapping around her, and we tumbled away. Behind us, the huge diamond-encrusted loot box landed with a heavy thump, and its parachute disappeared with a comical poof.

  I scrambled up to my feet and pulled the girl scout up with me. She weighed next to nothing. “You okay, kid?”

  In a gruff manly voice deeper than mine, she replied, “Yeah, broheim. Good lookin’ out.”

  I recoiled. “What the flock? Are—are you a dude?”

  “Ah, good call.” The girl scout just beamed at me, with her cute face and black pigtails confusing me all the more. She spoke again, and her voice modulated from the deep manly voice to that of a little girl. “Wouldn’t want to break the illusion. Gotta run, homie. See you around.”

  As she skipped—literally skipped—away, I muttered, “That’s flunked-up.”

  I whirled back toward the monstrous loot box behind me. I can’t say I wasn’t tempted to peek inside. That moment of hesitation was about to cost me, though, because a hideous naked lizard-man ran up to it.

  No good deed goes unpunished. But if I was gonna be stuck here for awhile, I’d need good gear until I found my way out. Even though I hated to admit it, that was Gaming 101.

  “Back off, loser!” I shouted, stepping between him and the loot box. “I own this world. You live in a basement.”

  He swung a scaly fist at me, but my years of kickboxing… uh, kicked in. I slipped his punch and countered with a heavy cross. I couldn’t help but notice my censor bar swaying perfectly with my movement to keep the AllVerse all-ages-appropriate.

  I caught him in the jaw, and a spray of numbers floated up from his stupid lizard face. I’d seen similar numbers briefly when I was in the chrome sphere, but they’d flickered out too fast for me to register them. Now they stuck around for a bit longer before dissipating into the air.

  He groaned and clutched his face.

  “It’s a game. You’re fine!” I chided as he staggered away, in search of another box. “Don’t be such a passkey.”

  …again, not the word I’d tried to say.

  Hordes of the Players had scooped up and claimed crates. They ran in various directions, carrying small chests the size of shoeboxes, while others hefted shipping-container-sized crates as if they weighed nothing, and everything in-between.

  The mayhem escalated to new levels as gunfire, laser beams, and magical powers all lit up the city, wreaking havoc in the AllVerse’s Fully Destructible Environment?. (Yes, that was my idea, too.)

  An irrational anxiety spiked in me. It was one thing to see it on a screen or VR, but seeing it for real, even if it wasn’t real, unnerved me to my core.

  I opened the platinum crate, and the diamonds exploded outward, turning into glittery confetti. A heroic adventure theme played in the background as Lucretia’s voice announced:

  | Class Adopted: Jonesin’ – Level 1 |

  | Archaeologist and Adventurer |

  | Status: Claimed |

  | Rarity: Unique |

  A pair of durable pants and boots, a khaki safari shirt half-unbuttoned, a leather coat, and a fedora appeared on me. The hat wasn’t as wide-brimmed as the one the character actually wore, so I looked a bit more like a douchebag club-goer than an adventuring archaeologist, but it could’ve been worse. A whip and a revolver also manifested, hanging from my belt—all elements from one of my favorite movie series.

  “Heck yeah.” My excitement curtailed when I noticed the lizard man circling back and charging toward me. “Hey, hey, back off numbnuts.”

  It had been a hot minute since I’d played a video game like this, but like riding a bike, the basics stuck with me. I equipped the whip and flung it out. I didn’t need to know any real technique; it just worked.

  The whip wrapped around his throat, and I yanked him to the ground. More numbers tumbled out of him.

  A cool guitar riff sounded, accompanied by the floating words:

  | CRITICAL HIT |

  Cries of anguish filled the street around us, mingling with the yelling, the hollering, and the nasty incessant synth-rock music. It all culminated in an agonizing cacophony.

  “For frost’s sake, turn the volume down!” I yelled at my wrist.

  [I’m sorry. I could not understand your request.]

  “Yeah, I wonder why…” I grumbled.

  I hurried to the lizard man before he recovered and curb-stomped his scaly head. I got another Critical Hit, and the rest of his hit points tumbled out of his skull, along with glitter and sparkles instead of blood and gore. He’d undoubtedly respawn nearby, but for now, I was clear.

  “Dang, this is easy… I got this,” I reassured myself. If I had to be here, I’d play hard, just like in real life.

  And I would win.

  I spread my arms wide and bellowed, “I own this world, and I own all of you.”

  I skirted behind the giant sculpture and fountain near where the Ascendant Games headquarters used to be. Weird that they were still here despite the actual building being gone, but I didn’t have time to consider it further.

  A sonic boom shattered the glass on several nearby buildings and my eardrums, and I noticed numbers popping out from my head, too. The immense sound had actually inflicted a small amount of damage on me, and now I knew what those numbers represented.

  Then an enormous mollusk-shaped spaceship careened out of the atmosphere, trailing a plume of smoke behind it. The ship crashed into another part of Seaboard City with an explosion and a thunderous noise. The AllVerse quaked with the impact, reminding me that I couldn’t stick around.

  “Okay… how do I get outta here?”

  A group of cartoon-looking cavemen stumbled into view, beating each other to death with rocks and clubs near my position. Numbers flew from them with each strike. Even with the age-appropriate setting that replaced the gore with glitter and flickering lights, it was pretty savage.

  The ones that went down didn’t respawn anywhere nearby that I could see. In fact, the lizard-man I’d smushed hadn’t come back either. Maybe there’s a specific respawn point?

  The AllVerse version of my office might hold the clue on how to get out of here… if only it still existed.

  “Hey,” a woman’s voice said from behind me.

  I whirled around to see a gorgeous female human avatar. She had long ash-blonde hair, accented with a stripe of black running through it, and she wore something like a white liquid-leather bodysuit that accented her digitally perfect shape.

  Before I could register anything else, she tapped my shoulder with her WHIM-bearing arm, and a jolt of electricity ran through me. I dropped to the ground, seizing yet still conscious. The Critical Hit guitar theme played, and all my equipment except the WHIM disintegrated.

  Suddenly, my adventurer outfit materialized on her, but perfectly sized for a woman in great shape. The black highlight of her ash-blonde hair changed to a lustrous brunette.

  She winked and tipped the fedora, its brim now widened more accurately to the movie, which I felt was unfair. “Thanks, boss.”

  My seizing heightened, my vision went full LaCroix, and I blacked out for the second time, this time in the middle of a warzone, unsure where I’d respawn.

  Or if I’d respawn.

  Rickshaw Riot chapters will be posted every weekday. If you don't want to wait, follow us on Patreon:

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  break--Royal Road. They call us the Critical Hitters.

  Dungeon Crawler Carl Audio Immersion Tunnel for Soundbooth Theater, and he's the lead writer for the Dungeon Crawler Carl Role Playing Game.