Up in heaven, Homer, the God of Literature, was groaning!

  His words of power had never been so strained before!

  “This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.”

  That’s right!

  This is a work of fiction!

  He was insisting on it!

  And so Lily was under his protection, as a young girl traveling to foreign countries to meddle in their internal affairs and politics…

  With her talking cat!

  It’s a work of fiction!

  Hercules, the God of Strength, was helping prop up the poor old blind bard as he continued his ceremony.

  He wanted to help Lily, too!

  But, she didn’t need big muscles, or the strength to move mountains…

  It wasn’t that kind of story!

  So, he was lending his strength to Homer, the God of Literature.

  They were good friends!

  Almost all the other gods were, once again, arguing over who would help Lily this time.

  All except for Sarah, the Goddess of Finding (master champion of hide and seek), and Tricksy, the God of Tricks and Trials!

  Tricksy was hiding behind the scenes!

  But that was a separate issue.

  The biggest problem right now was…

  Hades, the God of Death!

  He was still taking his turn!

  Or, he was trying to.

  “I said I would haunt her with ghosts! I’m still doing that! So it’s still my turn!” he pleaded.

  Justitia frowned at him, with her blindfold covering her eyes and her hands full with a sword and a set of scales.

  “And who were you planning to send, this time?”

  “Someone actually dead, right?” Gaia, the Goddess of Life said.

  She had a big vein pulsing in her forehead!

  “Of, of course…” Hades said, sweating.

  Even as just a skeleton, he was sweating!

  That’s how intimidating Gaia was!

  The Gods and Goddesses argued and argued!

  And…

  Lily was in a hurry!

  As soon as she said her prayers, she went with the Diplomacy Bureau to meet with the messenger from the French Revolutionaries!

  In the end, she only had the God of Literature’s words of power with her, in that moment…

  Not!

  She also had her Mama, and Mr. Cat!

  She had her ghostly advisors!

  She had her Friends from Wisconsin!

  She had the power of cuteness!

  Lily was plenty blessed, already!

  Lily walked next to Mr. Cat, surrounded by grown ups, down the hall and into yet another meeting room…

  Inside was the messenger from the French Revolutionaries!

  He was a tall, thin man with slicked back black hair, and a thin mustache! He was wearing slightly dirty clothes: a simple shirt and slacks held up by suspenders…

  And, leaned up against the wall, there was a bicycle!

  It was top of the line!

  The messenger narrowed his eyes, and looked closely at the Diplomacy Bureau members…

  But his eyes widened when he saw Lily and Mr. Cat.

  There was only a small conference table, so everyone else stood against the wall while Brenda and Lily sat down at the table. Mr. Cat sat in Lily’s lap.

  “Bonsoir, monsieur chat.”

  “Meow,” said Mr. Cat.

  “Good evening, I’m Brenda, the General Secretary of the Friendly Commonwealth of Wisconsin,” Brenda introduced herself.

  The messenger’s eyes widened real big!

  “The General Secretary herself!” He quickly stood up, and bowed slightly with his hand on his chest. “It’s an honor to meet you. My name is Jacques, and I represent the French Revolutionaries…”

  Brenda smiled and gestured with her hand. “Please, be seated. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

  Jacques sat down again. “I was wondering what was taking so long, but the General Secretary herself, I’m sure you must be quite busy…”

  Jacques was right!

  Normally Brenda was super busy!

  “With the General Secretary of Wisconsin’s support, I’m sure our Grand Revolution will succeed!”

  Brenda adjusted her eyeglasses, making the lenses flash. “I’m afraid that I will not personally be involved. As you said, I’m quite busy. We’re going through a bit of a revolution here ourselves, with our dairy farm practices…”

  “With ze cows?” Jacques’s accent slipped out as he tilted his head in confusion.

  “Indeed. Our Friendliness wasn’t good enough, but we’re getting better.”

  “But, ze French people, we need your help! We need to overthrow the Queen! She is a tyrant!”

  “I understand what you’re saying,” Brenda said, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with what Jacques was saying. “But Wisconsin is very busy at the moment. So we intend to send a mediator to help solve the problem.”

  “A mediator? Bah, there is no mediating with that spoiled Queen! All she does is throw parties all day and night! She has no appreciation for bread…”

  “I assure you, the mediator I have in mind is quite special. She was even able to help us understand our dairy cows better, and dairy cows don’t talk…”

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  Jacques nodded. “Indeed, all ze cows say is ‘moo,’ everyone knows this.”

  Then, his eyes widened. “Wait, you say she could understand the cows?! Zat is incredible!”

  Brenda smiled, and gestured to Lily, who was still holding Mr. Cat.

  “This is Miss Lily, recently awarded with the Order of Friend of Peoples, as well as Texas’—”

  Everyone stopped and gave General Secretary Brenda a look. She cleared her throat, and continued.

  “—The Great and Everlasting Free State of Texas’ highest civilian award, as well.”

  “Zat is impressive,” Jacques said. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, mademoiselle Lily.”

  “Nice to meet you, too, mister Jacques!”

  “And how did you receive ze Texans’ highest award, if I might ask?”

  “I caught the no good cattle-rustling varmints, Connie and Blyde!”

  “Aha! We have heard of those criminals!” Jacques exclaimed.

  He had been worried the little girl was a pushover!

  But if she had caught those notorious bad guys… She must be pretty tough, too!

  She must be an ally of justice!

  Surely she would see the justice in their Revolution, and help them!

  Brenda cleared her throat again.

  “Ahem, as the Friendly Commonwealth of Wisconsin is too busy to send a full team of diplomats, we have asked Miss Lily to represent us, and to go to France as an independent mediator to help resolve the dispute, given her proven track record…”

  Jacques kept a straight expression, but he was sighing on the inside!

  It had been a bit of a stretch to come to Wisconsin for help…

  The Revolutionaries knew that Wisconsin wasn’t a big fan of the monarchy…

  So they had thought that maybe Wisconsin would help them with their Revolution!

  Of course, this was after going to the Texans for help.

  The Texans loved Freedom!

  It was in their motto!

  But they had been told no immediately.

  “We’re too buys experimentin’,” their President Davy Sprocket had said. “Y’all need to settle yer own problems, and start selling us wheat again! We need to bake more buns!”

  The poor Texans had been reduced to eating some kind of potato dish, and were putting different toppings on it…

  It was sad!

  Jacques had wanted to help them—show them the truth of cuisine!

  It was in his French nature!

  But first, the Revolution…

  That was also in his French nature!

  Ah, mon dieux!

  Sometimes, it was complicated to be French…

  As he agonized over his own inner struggles, the little girl with the cat spoke up!

  “Actually, I have my own interest in the Revolution…”

  She did?!

  Jacques’ eyes flew open!

  “You see, I run a chain of restaurants, and the price of wheat going up so high is hurting my business! I want France to stop being in anarchy, and start selling wheat at a good price again! I need buns for my Lilyburgers!”

  She said it!

  An outright declaration of business interests!

  And yet…

  Jacques smiled!

  “Of course, of course! See, you are already on our side, mademoiselle! Ze reason ze wheat is so expensive is that ze Queen is throwing too many parties! She ordered us to stop making bread, and only bake cakes! If our Revolution succeeds, we can resume baking bread, and selling wheat!”

  Lily smiled with a big business smile.

  “Good, we can do business!”

  “Vive la révolution!”

  They shook hands!

  Lily would help!

  “With zat, I must return! Lily, meet me at the City Hall in Pahree! Zat is our headquarters! General Secretary, thank you for your help!”

  Jacques stood, bowed slightly, and then grabbed his bicycle and he was off!

  It was a long bike ride back to France…

  But he was a really good bicycle rider!

  He’d be back by morning.

  The bureaucrats all sighed in relief.

  One down!

  Things had gone smoothly with the first messenger!

  But there was still one more…

  Brenda looked over at Lily.

  “Lily, how are you feeling? It’s getting pretty late.”

  Even Mr. Cat was yawning!

  But Lily was fired up!

  She was motivated!

  She was close to fixing the wheat problem…

  It was the last ingredient that was overpriced!

  Once she ended the French Revolution, the wheat price would go down…

  And buns would be affordable again…

  And her Lilyburgers would be profitable again…

  And she could expand her franchises…

  And with the money from her restaurants, she could pay off her parents’ debts…

  And even their retirement!

  It was close!

  Lily looked back up at Brenda.

  “I’m fine!”

  She wanted to keep going!

  One of the interns from the Diplomacy Bureau entered the conference room.

  “General Secretary, the tea party is ready for the meeting with Duchess Sophie…”

  “Perfect, thank you.”

  Brenda stood up. Lily gathered Mr. Cat into her arms and hopped out of her chair, too.

  “First, we need to get you into a fancy dress.”

  “Really?!” Lily’s eye’s sparkled.

  Brenda nodded.

  “Yes. Your normal dress is perfect for relating to the Revolutionaries, but it’s not fancy enough for a tea party with French nobility.”

  “Mrow, they’re kinda stuck up!” Mr. Cat added.

  Lily’s Mama put a hand on her cheek, concerned.

  “But we didn’t bring any fancy dresses…” she said.

  Lily didn’t have any fancy dresses!

  All her clothes from home were sewn by her Mama!

  Other than that, she had the dairy cow kigurumi, and her cowgirl outfit…

  “Don’t worry,” Brenda said, “We can provide some dresses for you both to borrow, as well as funds for new dresses as needed while you’re in France. It’s a simple diplomatic expense.”

  “Really? Thanks, Brenda! Gods Bless!”

  Brenda chuckled. “Of course, we wouldn’t ask you to represent us for free. That wouldn’t be Friendly! Gods Bless.”

  Their Piety Points rose!

  And, up in heaven…

  The Goddesses of Beauty, Fashion, and Shopping all pushed to the front of the crowd.

  “Our turn! Our turn!” they cried, and they showered Lily with their blessings!

  The Gods of Business and Golf chuckled.

  “Heh, this is a different kind of negotiating than what we normally do…”

  And, the Goddess of Parties strolled up to join them!

  She was wearing a super fancy dress, in stark contrast with the golf outfits of the other two gods.

  It was a lovely kimono!

  “Ame-no-Uzume, the heavenly persuader…”

  “Gentlemen,” she greeted them.

  She was a really strong Goddess!

  She pulled out a folding fan, snapped it open, and waved it grandly.

  A massive blessing was sent down to Lily!

  The other Goddesses shrieked!

  “Uzume! No cutting!”

  And they sent their own blessings!

  Justitia sighed, and Hades chuckled next to her.

  Things were getting wild up in heaven!

  The intern guided Lily and her Mama to the diplomatic dressing room, and they got her all dressed up while Mr. Cat and the ghosts waited outside.

  And, when Lily looked at herself in the mirror…

  “Wow, I look like a princess!”

  It was a beautiful pink dress, with a puffy skirt and pearls and fancy embroidery!

  And she wore a tiara on her head! It was silver, with diamonds and rubies in it!

  “Oh, be careful Lily…” Lily’s Mama said.

  She was worried about tearing the dress!

  Who knew how expensive it was…

  But the intern laughed and waved off her concerns.

  “Don’t worry, we can always repair the dress if it gets torn, or wash it if it gets dirty. The important thing is the diplomacy! And being Friendly!”

  Sally was still worried…

  “I’ll be careful, Mama!” Lily promised.

  Sally was lent a regular diplomat’s business suit, in a shade of grey that would best hide Mr. Cat’s shed fur, and then the intern guided them all to the tea part room.

  Duchess Sophie awaited!