The night did not retreat. It did not fade or loosen its grip—it simply hung over the forest, dense and heavy, like wet cloth soaked with the scent of pine and damp earth. I woke abruptly, as if someone invisible had yanked a line tied directly to my nerve endings. No sound outside. No owl’s cry. No sharp pain in my muscles. Just a sticky, uneasy sense that something inside me hadn’t gone to sleep.
I sat up on the floor, bracing my palms against the boards. The wood was cold—almost icy. My joints responded stiffly, with an internal creak, reluctant to obey the command to straighten. My body reminded me: Yesterday you went too far. Yesterday you squeezed us dry.
[Will to Live] was active.
It wasn’t raging like it had during the fight with the shadow. It wasn’t pushed to its limits. It simply existed in the background—like the static hum of an old radio, like a heartbeat you don’t notice for months until suddenly it starts pounding too clearly, right in your throat.
I listened to myself, running an internal inventory.
Breathing—steady, almost mechanical.
Pulse—65. Slightly above my resting norm, but stable.
Mana—thick, active, circulating slowly through my channels like oil in a warmed engine.
And yet… something was fundamentally wrong. I felt like a part machined too precisely for its slot. No play. No margin. No room to simply relax.
“You rarely wake before dawn,” Zeno’s voice cut through the silence like a scalpel.
I flinched, though deep down I knew he was there. The old man sat in the corner, his back against the log wall, nearly dissolved into shadow. He wasn’t looking at me—his gaze was fixed somewhere beyond the window, as if the night were an old, dog-eared book he knew by heart but kept flipping through anyway.
“It’s still active,” I said, staring at my knees. My voice sounded muffled, like it came from inside a barrel.
“I know,” he replied shortly.
“But… differently. Before, it would quiet down. Now it’s sitting somewhere under my skin.”
Zeno nodded slowly. His silhouette looked carved from stone.
“Because for the first time you’re not using it as a crutch, Iron. Yesterday you let it in deeper than you should have. Now it thinks that without it, you’re a corpse.”
I looked at my hands. In the faint glow of dying embers, I could see them trembling slightly. Not the feverish shiver of cold—but a fine, steady tremor in my fingers. Subtle, but impossible to ignore. That hadn’t happened before. Before, the skill would simply “switch off” interference. It smoothed breathing, cleared the mind, turned me into a perfect, efficient machine for solving problems.
“If I suppress it…” I began, then fell silent.
The words were unnecessary. We both knew the rules. If I crushed the skill down by force right now, I might not get up from this floor. Deprived of its magical brace, my body would recognize the true extent of the damage and simply shut down for a week. And if I didn’t suppress it—one day this autopilot system might decide my consciousness was an obstacle and refuse to disengage at all.
I closed my eyes. Not sharply, not like before a charge into battle. I just tried… not to hold on. Not to control the flow. For one second, I allowed myself to be just a human being—not an “engineer of survival.”
Mana responded instantly. It was always there—loyal and dangerous. The current inside me jerked like a beast sensing the cage door crack open. I felt the skill trying to spool up to full power—locking my muscles with steel cables, accelerating my pulse to combat levels, stabilizing my vision. The safety system screamed: Warning! Critical damage detected! Activating defense protocol!
I didn’t forbid it. I just… didn’t let it go past a certain point. I imposed a limit.
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My body reacted immediately. The pain that had been muted and gray turned crystalline and sharp. Real pain—not the kind skills grind into dust, but the kind that speaks of strained ligaments and hairline fractures. The night air slipped beneath my skin, raising goosebumps. My heartbeat faltered. Panic flared in my chest—pure, animal, unfiltered by calculation.
Danger. Activate. Fight or flee.
I clenched my teeth until my jaw spasmed.
“I’m not dying,” I whispered into the emptiness of the cabin. “I’m just… living.”
[Will to Live] stumbled mid-stride. It didn’t shut down completely. It didn’t surge forward into reckless overdrive. It… hovered in some strange intermediate state.
The world changed instantly. The sterile clarity I’d grown used to vanished. Sounds became louder but dirtier—I heard the wood crackling in the walls, Zeno’s breathing, a mouse rustling beneath the floorboards. Smells sharpened: old dust, the old man’s acrid tobacco, the scent of dried blood on my side. I felt the weight of each rib as I inhaled, how every scrape demanded attention. Before, my “internal filter” would have erased all of that as noise interfering with the objective.
Now—it didn’t.
I was afraid. Truly afraid, cold sweat and all. Being efficient is easy. Being alive and vulnerable is damn hard.
I stood. My legs trembled; my knees buckled. One step. Then another. Unsteady, swaying, like I was a year old again and had just discovered gravity.
“There it is,” Zeno said quietly. There was no mockery in his voice—only a strange, sorrowful pride. “You. The real one. No polish.”
I turned toward him, grabbing the edge of the table to keep from falling.
“I’ve become weaker,” I stated. “My reaction time’s down at least forty percent. Coordination’s off.”
“You’ve become honest,” he replied, rising to his feet. “Now you know your real price—not the one your skill extends to you on credit.”
I wanted to argue. To say that in a forest where a shadow-wolf might be lurking behind any bush, “honesty” is a direct path to the grave. That the world doesn’t spare those who feel pain in full. But the words stuck in my throat. Because despite the weakness, I felt… whole. For the first time in a long while, I was the owner of my body—not just the operator of a complicated, temperamental machine.
A couple of hours passed. When the sun began lazily rising over the Black Pines, tinting the fog pink, I was already seated at the table. The armor lay before me. My “great achievement.” Now it looked pitiful—warped, with snapped sinews and a deep crack across the main bone plate. It resembled a skeleton assembled in haste, wrong from the start.
I slowly ran my fingers along the jagged fracture.
“I built it as if it were meant to replace my skeleton,” I said aloud.
Zeno set a cup of hot water beside me. It smelled of bitter roots.
“You wanted to hide inside it, Iron. Thought if you made the perfect cage, no beast could reach you.”
“I wanted to survive, Zeno. That’s rational.”
“Surviving and hiding aren’t the same thing. When you hide, you stop seeing reality.”
I picked up my work knife. My hands still trembled—rhythmic, irritating. I could activate [Will to Live] right now, stabilize my grip, channel mana into my fingertips, and finish the repairs in an hour. It would be easier. Logical.
I didn’t.
I began cutting away the ruined sinews slowly, carefully. Each movement demanded immense concentration. I felt the resistance of the material, the way the blade pressed into dense troll hide. I accounted not just for strength, but for recoil.
If vibration destroys joints—then I don’t need to make the joints harder. I need to give the vibration somewhere to go. Create dampers.
If my body can’t withstand sudden acceleration—then the armor shouldn’t be stronger. It should be more flexible, absorbing inertia before it reaches my bones.
I wasn’t making the armor stronger in the usual sense. I was making it… human. Vulnerable where I myself was vulnerable.
“One more fight like that,” Zeno said, watching me as he fed wood into the hearth, “and you’ll be back on the edge. Your new armor might not crack—but you might.”
“I know,” I replied without looking up. “But now I’ll know it in advance. The armor won’t lie to me about being invincible.”
The old man fell silent, and we worked in quiet. I carved new forms, replacing rigid attachments with mobile nodes. The bone plates were no longer lashed tight—they floated on a complex weave capable of shifting on impact. It was biomechanics in its most primitive and honest form.
“Why do you need this?” Zeno asked after a while. “You could have stayed in the hunters’ village. It’s safe there. There are rules.”
I studied my trembling fingers.
“Because if I don’t learn to stop myself… if I don’t understand where I end and my skill begins…” I looked up at the cabin ceiling, where shadows moved between the beams, “…one day [Will to Live] will simply devour me. It won’t stop on its own. It’ll keep patching me up until there’s nothing left of me but the bare function to ‘exist.’ And I want… I want to remember why I started all this in the first place.”
Zeno said nothing, but I heard his quiet grunt of approval.
That night, I barely slept again. My body ached, muscles twitching from exhaustion, thoughts tangled in a knot of formulas and fears.
I set the knife aside, studying the rebuilt breastplate. It looked less imposing than the old one—but it held a logic I had once ignored. The logic of a living being, not a steel press.
“An honest deal,” I murmured to myself, closing my eyes. “Let’s see how you perform.”
Sleep came gray and silent. But for the first time in a long while, there were no numbers or vectors in it.
Only the sound of wind in the Black Pines.

