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Comedy–In Black And White

  The aftermath of delving into the visions was a bizarre feeling of weightlessness–Not to mention that Binibelle felt like she had just woken up from a deep slumber. This was despite the fact that from everyone else’s perspective, the halfling had ‘awoken’ a mere second after she initially cast her spell…

  “Is everything alright, Master?”

  “Yes, I…”

  She was about to say what she had just seen, but failed to immediately recall what she had been made privy to through the watching of alternate realities. It was like trying to recall a dream–Only that Binibelle could feel that she wasn’t going to forget what she had viewed, the memories were simply distant and needed to be pulled back to her.

  This could be achieved with a basic spell to enhance and refresh her mind… Perhaps calling such spells ‘basic’ wasn’t giving justice to them, but in its own category, the particular one Binibelle knew was by far the simplest and most accessible.

  Just as she began, however, activity was felt from the house.

  “Miss Binibelle, were you able to learn what the clown is up to?”

  “Unfortunately, I was sort of dragged into something else entirely… It’s like there is some entity that really wants to show me stuff. The memories are a bit hazy at the moment, but I can guarantee that it had nothing to do with whatever the clown was doing inside of here. This is still a mystery”

  “Mmh… Very well”

  Einhert had been told by his father to put more trust in his instincts. The lord was frankly unconvinced, considering that his father wasn’t exactly the most credible source when it came to such things, but he had seemed genuine.

  Currently, Einhert could feel his guts telling him to hurry and do something. Whatever the clown was doing, she was making the house more and more dangerous by the minute. Thus, the city lord had no choice but to lead the assault–The idea of just breaking through the walls and potentially collapsing the house went through his mind, but not only were his instincts telling him that it was a bad idea, but he could also vividly imagine how that would allow the clown to hide and slip away with even greater ease.

  The monster’s body was basically elastic, being clearly incredibly stretchy… Some would even say that it had the properties of both gum and rubber. The collapse of a house wouldn’t even count as a minor inconvenience for her. She would just be able to move around the tiny gaps in the debris, free to escape under everyone’s nose amidst the confusion, or perhaps even capable of scoring a few kills if she really wanted to.

  As such, it was best to keep the house standing and post guards in the surrounding open spaces. Giving her the least amount of things to hide under was the way to go. Einhert believed that treating her like she was a small, highly venomous snake was the correct choice here.

  Of course, many still believed that it would be best to just set the whole thing ablaze, but under the orders of the city lord, no one dared to even bring up the idea again–The elite guards went first, most of the regular guards would be on watch duty outside in case the clown attempted to escape…

  As for the adventurers, true to the stereotypes, they were oddly willing to go into the building, far too confident in their capabilities, but adventurer teams were indeed very often cohesive and efficient as long as they took extermination quests often enough. With the support of elite guards and mercenaries, they could prove effective against the threat.

  …Said mercenaries were often more down to earth. If they hadn’t been paid by the city lord in person, they would have already turned tail and run away to preserve their lives… Alas, their sight had been blinded by the promise of a hefty sum of money, and they had accepted a mission that wasn’t unlikely to rob them of their lives.

  Nonetheless, mercenaries often partook in jobs which involved fighting. Often involved in private contracts with lesser nobles, bourgeois, and other nouveau riche to clear monster or beast populations, and also for escort missions.

  In short, there were many people, and most of them could be trusted with handling themselves. As such, the house was quickly invaded from all entry points.

  Most of the windows were too small for anyone to fit through, but a handful could do the trick–As for the doors, they were kicked in, quickly revealing a rather unsettling sight. Einhert stood in the front, so he was able to see it with his own eyes.

  The interior had been turned into what could only be described as a spider nest. Only that the cobweb was not made of silk, but of the thinned and stretched flesh of the black and white clown.

  One elite guard threw an item from the house at one of the pinky-thin strings, only for the object to stick to the gruesome web before the flesh grew over it–After seemingly discovering that what it had caught was not edible, the item was dropped to the ground.

  This little interaction told a lot. Einhert could tell that the clown was not directly, or at least not very, aware of what got in contact with her threads. She might be able to tell if it was something moving, but the time it took for the web to realise that it had caught something that wasn’t interesting was several seconds.

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  Either the clown did not share the full array of her senses with the fleshy web, or the web was acting on its own and wasn't even linked to the clown currently–Einhert felt more inclined toward believing the worst option of the two. Having to deal with the obstacle of this nature, while the monster could run around, could definitely prove problematic, especially as it was revealed that slashing through the spiderweb was not easy.

  It was best to strike at an angle rather than directly downward. The threads resisted more otherwise… Also, the house itself was a problem. It wasn’t a palace, far from it. The hallways were only wide enough for two people to pass one another if they really tucked in their shoulders.

  So wide swings were a no-go here, and due to the many threads of sticky flesh, moving with a spear pointing forward was a recipe for disaster… Not that keeping it pointing upward was any better with the low ceiling.

  Regardless of the manoeuvring difficulties, the various groups pressed onward, checking every room of the house before they converged at the stairs leading to the second floor. No one had encountered any sort of danger, and no one had mysteriously disappeared either.

  All was well so far–But the second floor was more densely packed with meatwebs, not to mention that the ambience up there was off. Not because of the negative energy in the air due to the clown being technically all over the place, but because the second floor had actually never been properly finished since this place was built.

  It should have been a place where the lower floor was a shop of some kind, and the upstairs was the place of living for the owner. However, the construction had never been finished, so everything seemed fragile and bare up there.

  “Be on your guard, I have a bad feeling about this…”

  The city lord felt like a blade was pointed at the back of his neck. He looked around. Behind him were the stairs, in front was a great mass of webs, to the sides unfinished walls, and above, nothing but a ceiling with exposed beams upon which a handful of fleshy threads were wrapped around.

  He couldn’t identify what was making him feel this way, but thankfully, it seemed like the clown was not one to extend suspense for too long. Without warning, one of the stretched-out pieces of flesh on the ceiling, turning out to actually be the clown in person, she unravelled into her true form, dropping from the ceiling behind.

  Einhert, being in the front, couldn’t get to her in time as she seemingly manifested countless mouths all over her body, inhaling a massive amount of air, causing herself to bloat beyond belief, pushing everyone back into her spiderweb.

  The more people struggled, the more they became entangled as the flesh grew over them, seeping into their own bodies to feast upon them.

  Few managed to free themselves before dire damage was dealt, but even then, being now surrounded by the web from all sides, they could barely move without risking getting themselves trapped again. Only Einhert was strong enough to actually escape the deadly confinement.

  …Not that it mattered, using the air she just inhaled, the clown propelled herself at him.

  The city lord used his mana as effectively as possible within that short timeframe, swinging at the incoming monster, but something weird happened. He attempted to slash her with his sword, but she was too fast, so he ended up hitting her with the pommel and his own forearm instead.

  The clown’s body was… Indeed, very malleable. It felt like he was slapping jelly, but very sticky jelly, as he struck her through the ceiling and onto the roof. He stayed stuck on her, leading him somehow to be dragged with her. He wasn’t certain, but he felt like this shouldn’t be something that was possible.

  By channelling more mana to the areas sticking to the creature, he was able to shake her off, leading them to crash onto the roof in different places.

  Einhert nearly went through the roof, while the clown splattered like she was entirely made of a slimy substance, and even produced a wet slapping sound.

  The city lord stood up, dusting his shoulder and stretching his neck.

  “Tell me, Miss Clown… You wouldn’t happen to know the name of the one who wore the Glown costume that day, would you?”

  The question wasn’t exactly clear, but he believed that she should be able to get the point.

  “Why would I know my progenitor’s name? I never met my boss! Why do you ask? Are you hoping that my boss is, in fact, an attractive clown girl? I would understand if you were interested, after all… Aren’t clown girls simply… Dashing?”

  She struck a cute pose with puppy eyes as she said this, making Einhert recoil in disgust. He truly hated clowns through and through. Just looking at her made him want to wipe her out of existence.

  “Oi. What’s with the ugly face, Big Guy?”

  The clown smiled widely–Too widely.

  “It is a shame not to like clowns when little Poppy liked them so much~”

  “What the… You do know your so-called boss’s name, don’t you?”

  “Not telling you! Or perhaps I will, if you agree to give me a peck on the cheek? Ouhouh! Come and show some affection for this lonely clown gal, Scarface! I may not be much of a big sister, but I can give you a hug to wash the pain away, nonetheless!”

  She laughed like she had just said the most hysterically funny thing in the world–Before suddenly leaning to her left, dodging a blade of mana.

  “You down here–Yes, you! I am going to come down and make you sing soprano!”

  She looked directly at Jupo as she said this. Currently, the black and white clown had quite an audience with so many people standing outside. She loved it.

  “Tatadin! A clown, no matter how lacking in colours, shouldn’t have to dwell in the shadows–My place is on a stage in front of an adoring audience who can barely breathe from how much they are laughing!”

  “For my first live performance, I would like you all to welcome my assistant–This guy, who I think is the city lord! I frankly don’t know. I didn’t bother to check… Regardless, give him a round of applause. It's his first time on stage, and today, we are going to be making fun of his ruined love life, whooooou!”

  “Why don’t we get started about the fact that he still hasn’t gotten over a crush he got as a little kid? A city lord who does not know how to leave the past in the past? It does not inspire much confidence, does it?”

  Einhert went for the kill. He was intent on making the clown shut up for all of eternity.

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