“It pisses me off that after all these years of training at Armarillis, I still haven’t become one of the Arma,” I admitted honestly.

  Ilforte raised an eyebrow.

  “Go on. Don’t hold back your emotions, Calypso. What else pisses you off.”

  “Everything!” I said with open irritation, crossing my arms.

  “Why the hell am I putting so much effort into developing all my skills but still can’t make it into the top ten pairs? I feel trapped at Armarillis. I’m already better than most, but I’m still just a regular Fortemin, and…”

  I faltered and shook my head.

  “Sorry, it’s stupid to be so irritated, I know. I’m worn out from the last day and I’m having trouble controlling myself.”

  “No, no, it’s good. Let your emotions out, you don’t need to hold them back,” Ilforte calmly objected.

  “You have every right to be irritated, angry, envious, and feel any other ‘wrong’ emotions. So let’s work through them.”

  He started walking along the sea again, and I followed.

  “Let me remind you that I don’t directly influence the formation of battle pairs among Fortemins. Only the ten best battle pairs among us all become Arma. But best not in the sense that everyone else is unworthy of attention. Best in the sense that they’re gifted with special skills that allow them to be top-tier warriors in the fight against dark forces. The best in their roles, since each Arma handles a specific sphere that’s beyond the rest of us. Including me, Calypso don’t forget that. There are only ten best battle pairs, but there are many, many more excellent warriors among us. And that’s no reason to diminish or underestimate other warriors.”

  “I know all this perfectly well, why are you telling me this now?”

  “Sometimes obvious things need to be reminded,” Ilforte smirked.

  “Think about it and honestly answer yourself: why are you so irritated when you think about your status? What’s missing and why?”

  “She could be my Guardian,” I said quietly.

  Ilforte looked at me in confusion.

  “What?..”

  “If Lorelei and I were Arma, we could form a strong battle bond.”

  I’d realized this yesterday, when through meditation and closeness with Lori I’d easily managed to draw energy from her and channel it in the right combat direction. And the energy that swirled around us was a clear manifestation of a special bond — the way only a Fighter and Guardian act in battle.

  I’d confirmed this yesterday evening before Lori came, when I buried myself in ancient tomes searching for the crumbs of information I needed. It was definitely ‘the real thing,’ I hadn’t imagined it.

  But that kind of battle bond only manifests strongly in Arma, exclusively in the ten best Fortemin pairs. And yet I’d… somehow felt it anyway. And managed to partially activate the connection, finding it. Activate it specifically and temporarily, not permanently, since Lori and I weren’t Arma.

  I told my father all of this in detail, held nothing back. It was in my interest for him to know all the details and think through the situation with me.

  Oh, you should have seen my father’s face… I think I’d actually managed to surprise him.

  I mentally smirked, looking at his stunned expression — his jaw actually dropped. Yeah, what can I say, I was pretty stunned myself when I realized it.

  But even more than that, I was frustrated knowing that Lori and I could never create a real battle bond. Couldn’t create one because there were no ‘vacancies’ among the Arma, and you could live for hundreds of years waiting for such an opportunity. And still never get it, by the way.

  And it pissed me off beyond words.

  I didn’t hide this from my father either.

  “And you know yourself that I’m currently at the stage of magical development where, with enough effort, I could easily become the First Arma if there wasn’t one already,” I said.

  “Zael and I have similar magical gifts, don’t we? He can read others’ emotions and influence certain emotions in people around him. He can even impose a mood he needs on someone, from calm to hatred. And I have a highly developed gift of suggestion. I can implant a thought in someone that then affects their mood, emotions, and actions. Similar, isn’t it? You must have noticed.”

  Ilforte was silent, lips pressed together. Judging by his focused expression, he was trying to process the information.

  “But a warrior as powerful as Zael is firmly established in his place, and as long as he’s alive, he’ll always be the First. And there’s no one stronger than him, and probably never will be,” I added.

  “Not quite. The Mentor of Armarillis Academy exceeds the First Arma in power level.”

  “Well, becoming Mentor of Armarillis Academy is even less likely for me,” I snorted.

  Ilforte was silent for a long time, collecting his thoughts, then finally said:

  “Arma status isn’t some supreme title handed out for achievements. It’s a heavy burden given exclusively by the universe itself. I don’t choose the best warriors, Calypso. And I can’t influence that choice in any way.”

  “I know,” I smirked.

  “But that doesn’t make me feel any better. Bending over backward and getting nowhere…”

  “Getting nowhere is that what you call your amazing versatility in magic?” Ilforte raised an eyebrow mockingly.

  “There are few mages in the world who can develop such diverse magical sides so well. It’s an incredible gift to have so many talents that allow you to grow in all directions at once. Any direction you want.”

  “What’s the point of this development if I’m hitting a dead end?”

  “You’re not hitting a dead end, you’re hitting your personal ceiling,” Ilforte objected.

  “What’s the difference?” I asked irritably.

  “The difference is huge, Calypso. There’s no way out of a dead end, but a ceiling can be broken through. Even if it seems impossible at some point in life.”

  Stolen story; please report.

  “And how do I break through it? Which way should I go? Give me a hint at least.”

  “I don't know that,” Ilforte shook his head.

  “I can only help you manifest the magic you need to manifest. I can show you different paths of development. I can guide you in the right direction if I see you’re going the wrong way.”

  He was quiet for a moment, then added softly:

  “I was once briefly the First Arma myself. Very briefly, actually. Zael displaced me very quickly. I was furious then and didn’t understand why I was worse?”

  “And then it turned out that none of it was random. And my entire path, which I walked throughout my difficult life, was given to me so I’d be ready to become the Mentor of Armarillis Academy in the future. To wake up one day with the zero mark on my arm and realize that my entire previous life had been preparing me to accept this difficult burden and shoulder responsibility for all the academy’s wards. And to step onto a new path of development. To find my place in life.”

  As he spoke, Ilforte touched his wrist, and a silver zero flared brightly there — the so-called zero mark. All Arma had golden numbers like that — from tenth to first. But the Mentor had a silver zero. My mom, as the Mentor’s right hand and his Guardian, also wore a zero mark on her wrist.

  “But if I hadn’t walked my entire difficult life path, I wouldn’t have been ready for the Mentor’s responsibility, understand? If I hadn’t held various Arma statuses, if I hadn’t solved all the problems I solved in life… I simply wouldn’t have become who I am now.”

  “I never looked at it from that angle,” I admitted honestly.

  Ilforte nodded understandingly.

  “That sounds familiar. And I understand your frustration very well. I went through this myself when I was an ordinary Fortemin yearning for more. I once dreamed of high status, dreamed of becoming First Arma… But you know, the day I discovered the zero mark on myself, I didn’t feel any joy. No satisfaction. Honestly, I was mostly terrified,” Ilforte smiled.

  “But I also simply realized that yes now I was truly ready to accept this burden. If it had come to me earlier, I would have been a useless Mentor. Not like now.”

  “I think you’re the best Mentor in the history of Armarillis,” I smiled, but my smile immediately faded.

  “And that’s the thing. Looking at you, I want to be the best at something too. But being Arma isn’t meant to be for me, apparently. Definitely not in the next couple hundred years at least. And that pisses me off. It pisses me off that I sensed my Guardian too early, but creating a true battle bond with her isn’t possible because we don’t have the right marks.”

  “You’re thinking about the wrong thing and looking in the wrong direction. You shouldn’t be thinking about not being able to take someone else’s place. You need to find your own place,” Ilforte said pointedly.

  “Your own, unique place. Understand?”

  “We-e-ell…”

  “There are no limits in magic, Calypso. If you feel cramped somewhere, it just means you need to step outside the cramped room,” Ilforte winked cheerfully.

  “Not blame the walls for not moving apart on their own. Why sit in a cramped space and suffer when you can step outside into the fresh air?”

  “What are you getting at?” I asked tiredly.

  After an emotional day and a wild night, my head was having trouble processing conversations like this. And my father really loved speaking in metaphors. Great, sure, but not really what I needed right now.

  “I’m saying you shouldn’t limit yourself to dreaming about achieving Arma status. What makes you think that’s your destiny, that it suits you?”

  “Isn’t Arma the highest form of magical development?” I raised a skeptical eyebrow.

  “There are no ordinary mages stronger than Fortemins. And no one stronger than Arma at all.”

  “You’re thinking too narrowly. There’s always room to grow, Calypso. Always. Remember that. There’s no ceiling in magic. And if you think you’ve hit one, it’s just a reason to open a door and move into the next room with higher ceilings.”

  “You’re suggesting I look for that door?” I smiled.

  “Why not?”

  Ilforte was silent for a minute, sighed heavily, and continued in a tense voice, carefully choosing each word:

  “I don’t like your experiments with shadow magic. I’m not hiding that. And I’m not changing my opinion. I still consider them extremely dangerous without an experienced guide. And I’m deeply outraged by your brazen behavior and complete disregard for my demand to stay away from this. On top of that, you’re setting a bad example for other adepts. Do you even realize that? The Mentor’s son, completely ignoring his orders. Not a great look. Others might want to follow your example. What am I supposed to do with all these thoughtless attempts by adepts to dabble in shadow magic? You’re tough and stubborn, and your magical Spark burns like a bright torch, but anyone else unprepared who gets into this out of curiosity will just burn alive from improper energy distribution.”

  I stayed silent — I had nothing to say to that. I understood all this perfectly, but my own goals and needs mattered more to me, honestly.

  Selfish? Well, I never positioned myself as some goody two-shoes.

  “But at the same time… At the same time I understand that yesterday’s situation showed the other side of the coin,” Ilforte continued.

  “So I’m officially lifting the ban on your experiments…”

  “Wow,” I couldn’t help saying, my eyebrows shooting up.

  “…but from now on I require strict reporting from you,” Ilforte finished.

  “You’ll tell me about all planned and conducted experiments, understand? Weekly. You’ll document key points in writing so I can clearly see how your work is progressing, and whether it’s progressing or needs to be stopped. If I feel you’re going too far somewhere, you won’t argue with me and will stop immediately. Deal?”

  Holy crap!! This was like winning the lottery.

  I nodded quickly before my father could change his mind. Incredible… He’d been a fierce opponent of shadow magic for years and constantly lectured me about it, but the more he lectured, the more my interest in the forbidden grew… And the more I discovered in this sphere of magic that was so interesting and unexplored, the deeper I wanted to dig.

  Shadow magic is a special energy, a highly concentrated dark magic used by beings from the spirit world — from the flip side of reality. The purest concentrate of darkness, not everyone can handle it. But I was handling it successfully enough, and my interest kept growing. I saw so much untapped potential in this sphere of magic and desperately wanted to study all of it.

  I’d been hungry for knowledge since childhood, and challenges never scared me. Quite the opposite — the harder the learning process, the more interested I became in studying.

  And over the past couple of years I’d discovered that combining mental magic with shadow magic could produce very interesting results. Like my artifacts, which were activated not by ordinary white magic or even combat magic, but specifically by mental impulse through the shadow aspect.

  And I thought this was only the beginning, but I’d been experimenting cautiously since I had to hide and sneak around under my father’s nose. And even sneaking around like that, I’d still managed to advance very far. And now that I wouldn’t have to hide anymore… Man!! My hands were itching with anticipation of the possibilities opening up.

  “The current situation has shown that we can’t ignore shadow magic,” Ilforte continued meanwhile.

  “Yes, I’ve never hidden my negative attitude toward your experiments with it. Not because I’m being difficult and throwing obstacles in your way out of principle, but because it’s complex and unexplored magic… for us, for ordinary people. This is magic from the spirit world, and no one knows how it might affect an ordinary mage with no connection to the shadow flip side of reality. So far all available data on such experiments has ended badly. But you know that yourself.”

  I nodded. I did know. Father had told me about such experimenters, and I’d verified the information myself and confirmed that he hadn’t lied or exaggerated about the sad outcomes of such experiments. It really did all look very grim, but that didn’t scare me. If anything, it was the opposite — challenges always attracted me. I got no pleasure from solving simple problems and had loved puzzles since childhood, of which I’d had an entire shelf full.

  “But if not for your experiments, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Ilforte added quietly, putting an arm around my shoulders.

  “And that would have been devastating for me.”

  I smiled warmly at my father. Yes, whatever friction we had between us, I always felt parental love.

  “Eric will be supervising you,” my father added unexpectedly.

  “What?! No-o-o, not him!” I immediately groaned.

  “Can we not?”

  “We can only yes.”

  “But why, gods?! I promise to give you full reports and…”

  “Eric will be supervising you,” Ilforte said in a hard tone.

  “This is the Mentor’s order, and it’s not up for discussion.”

  I growled quietly in helpless anger.

  Ilforte looked at me with amused interest.

  “And what’s got you worked up now?”

  “The fact that you trust Eric more than me,” I said through gritted teeth.