I woke up in my bed, people were talking.

  "God dammit," I groaned. "Who's there?"

  "Healer Licard and two of the most persistent guard dogs I've ever known," said a familiar voice.

  "What?" I managed. I assembled enough awareness for a status check. Bed. Unfamiliar, not mine. Linens, sheets, blanket, those are familiar. Mine. Air is familiar, my dorm room. Nightgown. Mine, familiar, second-favorite. Sunlight in through the window, that's weird.

  Wait.

  I pulled the blanket the rest of the way off my face and stared at the window. Cheery bright light was streaming in, I could see tiny motes floating in it. But we don't get bright lights here. It's all that sourceless diffused twilight from the fake stars, the crystals-

  Oh. This is from me.

  Events from last night clicked into place. It felt like my mind was loading bullets into a revolver. Magister Braux. Click. Ambush. Click. Untethered. Click. Escape. Click. Trapped. Click. Fire.

  "Start with the important parts," I said, pressing my eyes shut.

  "You've been asleep for three hours, and you need more sleep than that," said a man's voice. Sir Chaun. He's still here? He's still alive?

  "A healer should be the one to make determination whether she needs treatment before or after rest," Licard said. His voice was bristling.

  "And I said that nobody gets near her until she says so," another voice. Female, and- oh, Thumper!

  "Natalie, we need a ruling," said a fourth voice. God so many... oh, yeah, she belongs here. That's Elica. I'm starting to put pieces together now.

  I groaned. "Let him in. If I ever make lists of people I trust, he's on the short list, even if he doesn't know why."

  "I would assume because you frequently need a healer," Licard said. His voice was closer as he spoke, and I felt the balance of the room shift as he walked. He's a really big guy.

  I scoffed. "I figure you'd assume that. But that's not the reason. Anyway, someone should tell me what I missed."

  At no point did I lift my head from the pillow, or surrender my blankets. I just let them talk, voices that washed back and forth.

  Elica: "Well, the whole district is lit up now, so that's probably because of you. I assume we need a new Sorcery 101 teacher?"

  Me: "Oh, yeah, for sure. She is super dead."

  Maspers: "That's a very separate problem. The college of magisters is one of the most influential organizations in the kingdom. My authority in the royal guard is enough to place her under arrest for trying to murder you in your bed, but not necessarily enough to keep you safe from prosecution if she's dead."

  Me: "I take it back, she's not super dead. She just ran away really far and she's never going to come back but she's alive."

  Maspers: "Gods I wish I could take that for a report. Alas."

  Thumper: "Also, you look like hell and I wasn't sure you weren't dead when you dropped in."

  Me: "Dropped in?"

  Thumper: "You fell out of one of your portals, like you'd been dumped out of a wheelbarrow."

  Elica: "A noisy wheelbarrow."

  Licard: "That explains some of these contusions and abrasions, but -"

  Me: "Oh, yeah, I did that same thing like a dozen times. It was a real bad night for falling out of portals."

  Licard: "Also torn muscles, sprains, exposure, exhaustion, compression and decompression injuries, punctured ear drums, damaged retinas-"

  Me: "How bad are the burns?"

  Licard: "What, you got burned too?"

  Me: "I ... assume so? Am I not?"

  Licard: "Nope. No burns here. Looks like fire is just about the only harm you didn't run afoul of."

  Me: "Neat. Normally when I run into trouble with magic it leaves a nasty wound or a mark. I guess this time I got off light, with just extreme exhaustion."

  Maspers: "Well, I want to start a report, if I may. I want all of you as witnesses to make sure nothing is coerced. I think having her roommate and...?"

  Thumper: "I'm the captain of the fencing team."

  Maspers: "Sure. That. I think having you here will help her feel comfortable, and to remind her which questions she is too tired to answer right now."

  Thumper: "Ooooh. Check, got it."

  Maspers: "Now then. Lady Harigold, I'm going to start near the beginning if I may. Apparently Braux decided on the second or third day of school that she would need to kill you. Do you have any idea why?"

  Me: "Um, no. While we were fighting she said that the magister's college was formed to destroy 'monsters' like me."

  Maspers: "Ah. I'm sorry I couldn't hear anything you just said. Not to worry. My next question: how did you figure out it was Braux trying to kill you?"

  Me: "Simple investigation. I got a copy of the class schedules to find out who has a free period both during my practice hour in camogie and also during my homeroom. But that was really just double-checking, I already suspected her."

  Elica: "How did you get a copy of that?"

  Maspers: "Lady Elica, If she answers that, I'll just have to not hear it, so let's not ask that question. Instead, let's focus on the fact that Lady Natalie already suspected Braux. Why?"

  Me: "I looked over the physical evidence and found that the person attacking me was a mage but not a sorcerer. And that they had access to school grounds. And that the attack was almost certainly personal in nature, which indicated that it's someone I know. I only know a couple powerful mages who aren't sorcerers around here."

  Licard: "But you assumed it was someone on the faculty? Why?"

  Because in every magical academy, without fail, there's a teacher that is evil and trying to kill the student.

  Let's not say that part out loud.

  Me: "From the day I've entered Hearstcliff I've had two sorts of problems: either from people my own age and position who are easy to see and deal with, or older adults in positions of authority who know how to avoid getting caught out in the open when they move against me. Whoever was trying to kill me knew how to not get caught by campus security right away, and all the students here are bad at that."

  Thumper: "It's true. This place is buttoned up tight until you figure out the workarounds. I was talking to the seniors who-"

  Maspers: "Ahem. So, Lady Harigold, what do you know of her plans to kill you?"

  Me: "What I know? Very little. She bragged about researching me and testing me, so that gives me a starting point to speculate. I think the first attack, on the camogie field, was a first desperate attempt to get rid of me. I think after the fact, she folded that into a new plan to investigate me more thoroughly. I think at first she assumed my weakness was the same as any other mage's, that I would be vulnerable to attacks I'm not prepared to deflect. That did not work out. So then she listened a bit and heard me saying that my weakness is for large scale phenomena, because I lack a good deal of strength in my sorcery. So that was when she tried to drop a building on me. Even though I was trapped in the form of a tree, she seemed to understand that I was not going to be stopped there. If there hadn't been security posted she probably would have tried to burn me down. Instead, she moved to my next weakness, my secret weakness- my soul is-"

  Maspers: "Sorry Lady Harigold you're trailing off there, just can't hear a word you were saying there at the end. And then-"

  Me: "Captain Maspers, I am very tired and I've had a terrible day. What are you doing?"

  Maspers: "You asked me to come here to save your life from Cheresa Braux. That is what I'm doing. Now then, what exactly was your plan tonight?"

  Me: "Ugh. Dammit. Okay, so there were layers to this. My first thought would be that I should drag her out into the open and have her arrested. That's why I asked you to lay in wait in Elica's bed."

  Elica: "In your boots, I may add."

  Maspers: "My apologies, Lady Elica Dandston, but it was quite necessary. I needed to sell the subterfuge and also I needed to be ready for swift action. Lady Harigold, please do go on."

  Me: "Well, as I was saying, I expected her to sneak in here with murder on her mind and a guilty conscience, and then you would spring out with your badge held up high and declare her under arrest."

  Maspers: "The Royal Cavalry Guard does not carry badges."

  Me: "Then it's a figure of speech, whatever. You would apprehend her, and I would be the darling of the school for the next week while she goes to jail for the rest of her life. But instead of sneaking in and getting arrested like a civil woman, she came smashing through the windows-"

  Thumper: "That might be my fault. She was leaving quietly and carefully, just like you expected. And then I gave the signal that she was on her way-"

  Maspers: "Gods, that was you? I had thought some drastic beast had -"

  Thumper: "Look, Natalie asked me how loud I can yell she did not ask me how good I am at discreet and convincing bird calls."

  Me: "No no, that's on me. Thumper did what I asked her."

  Thumper: "Right, and as soon as I did, she bolted. Just shooom straight into the air flying straight at you. I came running then, but, well, way too late."

  Me: "And so instead of her creeping into the room to be confronted like a sneak, she came busting in the windows with a lot of momentum. And when you jumped out with your badge-"

  Maspers: "Still no badge."

  Thumper: "You probably could stand to start carrying one. It would be useful in situations like this."

  Me: "-your metaphorical badge, she instead swatted you with a spell like a high-level mage should. And then she came after me."

  Elica: "Went after your bed, more like. We never did find it, you know."

  Me: "It's probably punched a hole in someone's roof somewhere in the city. Anyway, Braux was trying to throw-"

  Maspers: "A-hem. She attacked you, and you escaped through a portal. Was that part according to plan?"

  Me: "Oh, no we were way off-book by then. I expected that by the time Braux made it in, I'd be mostly awake and ready to jump into the fight. I want to be clear: despite what this looks like, I did have a plan of attack."

  Maspers: "Share some of it."

  Me: "Well, I had spent all day prepping attacks against her. Lots of different angles. I shaped a dozen ambushes around the campus. I took marble from the broken building and shaped hundreds of razor-sharp knives with it, to throw a cloud of spinning blades at her. I built a huge mound of grass clippings that I was going to throw into her face to blind her. I had diverted water flows so I would be able to douse her if need be. Rolls of copper coil sitting in key positions for me to throw at her and then charge with lightning energy. I had turned this whole area into a deathtrap. I worked so hard on it!"

  Maspers: "But why didn't you use any of those things?"

  Me: ".... it didn't work. The brief time I was asleep broke my connection to those essences. I thought that I could re-establish those connections if I was only away for a few minutes, but I was wrong."

  Elica: "You spent all day preparing these traps without even knowing that they would not work?"

  Me: "It was a mistake. Just an ordinary, normal mistake. I'm very intelligent. But I'm not infallible. And very intelligent people can make big mistakes just like anyone else."

  Thumper: "That doesn't sound right. Smart folks shouldn't do dumb things."

  Me: "Intelligence is not a floor, stupidity is a ceiling. Look, there's nothing that stops me from making the dumbest fuckups that any idiot would be ashamed of. But I am also capable of great innovations. The stupid man cannot reach that high, his stupidity is a ceiling that keeps him down. But I do not have a raised floor that keeps me from falling just as low."

  Licard: "Profound."

  Me: "I'd love to take credit for it. I was quoting Ofxupo, the philosopher. I've read a lot of his work recently."

  Elica: "Sounds like an excuse for not acting as smart as you're supposed to be."

  Licard: "From now on, try finding a philosopher that encourages you not to make such errors. Roll over."

  Me: "Not fair! Anyone can make a mistake. Ow. That feels sprained."

  Licard: "You wish that was only sprained."

  Maspers: "How badly hurt is she?"

  Licard: "Were she not a hardened adventurer she would be dead right now, twice over."

  Maspers: "She's not a hardened adventurer."

  Licard: "You just do your job, guardsman."

  Maspers: "Lady Harigold, are you a hardened adventurer?"

  Me: "I don't feel hardened right this moment."

  Elica: "She sometimes sneaks out at night wearing black leather and carrying several daggers. She's either adventuring or she's got the kind of fling that you don't tell people about."

  Maspers: "Gods dammit. Back on task. Very well: you had a dozen traps set up and they all failed. You escaped. She pursued."

  Me: "After that I was improvising. I worked so hard to make sure I wouldn't need to improvise. You get that, right? I was not coming into this thinking I could trust to my skills and ingenuity and strength, I never intended to give her a fair fight at all. If she did not cooperate with an arrest, I was going to spring a dozen traps on her faster than she could react. Marble knives, steel spikes, stone deadfalls, burning clouds of grass clippings, pools of electrocuted water, sprays of acid... and instead I was on the run, with no tricks to play, mostly asleep, and entirely disarmed! I wanted to just portal out of there and go hang out in Meadowtam for the rest of the night, but then she would just come back here, kill both of you two, and either ambush me some time in the future or gather her allies for a big assault that I couldn't overcome."

  Maspers: "We'll discuss that either/or question later. I find myself personally interested what would happen if she had come back to eliminate witnesses. So, you were saying about how you were on the run?"

  Me: "Yes! And panicking! Well, at first I thought I had a real shot. We were doing this back-and-forth cat-and-mouse thing, stalking each other in the dark. And then she turned off my void attacks and my portals. I had been reluctant to use the void before, because it does a lot of collateral damage. I could accidentally bring down part of the dorm if I used it here, or endanger bystanders out in the quad. Up in the catwalks and aqueducts, setting off explosions like that could cause a collapse and kill who-knows-how-many people! It's a move I had been holding in reserve... and then she just turned it off! My ace in the hole! So, that was when I panicked."

  Maspers: "And when you panicked, you... "

  Me: "Well, when I panic I tend to go really far. That's why I try to never improvise, I'm bad at it. Anyway, she was bragging about how she was prepared to counter any of my moves, and I only had one point of mana left-"

  Licard: "Sorry? A what of mana?"

  Me: "Sh- um, sorry, I must have been mumbling again."

  Maspers: "Noted, the lady was mumbling and what she said could not be discerned."

  Oh god I really used game terminology there. I almost... I've gotta wrap this up. I'm too brain-fogged, too tired, I could say the wrong thing.

  Me: "Anyway, I had only one spell left to cast, and I had to make sure it was something that she could not have anticipated I'd cast. But she had been spending weeks building a profile of my spells. What I can do and can't. So my only chance here was to cast something that I famously cannot cast. And that meant converting myself to fire."

  Thumper: "The phoenix. That was you? I thought you just created that."

  Me: "Oh, I am miles away from being able to create or corral that much fire with that kind of accuracy. All I could do was throw myself into it and hope that it worked like turning into a tree."

  Licard: "But it did not."

  Me: "No, it did not. I have a perfect affinity to oak. When I transformed into a tree, I was entirely that tree, while it lasted. Until I... broke out. But after years of trying I'm still scraping a fairly mediocre affinity for fire. What that means is that I'm very safe from being overwhelmed by its nature, but on the other hand it is hard to take that shape or hold it. I've avoided trying for years because of the risks.. and when I tried I almost failed right when it mattered. I had a trick to try, and it almost failed."

  Maspers: "Well, in dangerous situations-"

  Me: "No. Not like that. Look, something to explain. I do dangerous situations far more often than I should. But I do them on my terms. This was close. I've never come that close to losing. I had to give it everything I got, I had a split-second to make a decision and hope for the best, and there was not a single inch for a margin of error. And even then, I got lucky to come out of this."

  Maspers: "Lady Harigold, you've had a hard time and-"

  Me: "No. This goes way past that."

  Maspers: "But, your visions, you can see-"

  Me: "I'm telling you that's what I mean when I say this plan went way off-book. I'm not supposed to ever get caught off-guard like this. And I don't like it. And it's never going to happen again."

  Elica: "Well, everyone has to deal with the unexpected, and we learn to-"

  Me: "Everyone else has to. Not me. Mark my words: if I ever get blindsided like this again, if someone knocks out my plans one by one and forces me to improvise on the defensive like that? I'm gonna open the void so hard it collapses this whole cavern and crushes this city. If I go, I'm taking Hearstcliff with me."

  Maspers: "Let the record show that Lady Harigold's comments have been garbled and unintelligible and could not be made out."

  Thumper: "Oh my gods that is so badass. Natalie you're my fucking hero."

  Licard: "Is this a good time for me to help her get some sleep? She's been through hell."

  Elica: "I think this is a good time for her to take a break, don't you Captain Maspers?"

  Maspers: "Good night, Lady Harigold."

  Me: "Now wait you can't just-"

  But I was actually very wrong, and Licard really could just. I shut off like there was a switch installed in me, and that is not supposed to be something healers can do. Still, admittedly I felt a lot better when I woke up in the morning.

  Except that there was a note on my desk, from Sir Maspers. "Sixthday at my office," he had written. "Urgent", he had added at the bottom.