“SORRY, JIMBO. NO CAN DO," Kyle replied. “You can’t challenge girls for shotty.”

  “He's ruh-ruh-right.” Derek stuttered. “It duh-duh-defers to Sam buh-buh-because she’s a guh-guh-guh-gir--”

  “FUCK THAT!” Jim intensely denied. “Dick or no dick, it doesn’t fucking matter! Whenever someone calls for ‘shotgun’ they get it OUTRIGHT… Unless they are challenged by another potential passenger in said same vehicle!”

  Directing his point to Kyle, Eric, and Derek, Jim said, “We’ve been playing by these rules since we all got our School Permits, people! Let’s get our ‘collective shits’ together, eh?”

  Narrowing his eyes bitterly, Kyle asked, “JIM, do you want a ride to work or not?”

  “I vote that we make the BITCH walk,” Eric crudely said, causing Sam to scoff.

  Looking over at the tomboy, Eric explained, “You’re not the ‘bitch’ that I’m referring to, Sam. It’s Jim. You’re actually a fucking cu…”

  “ERIC!!!” Kyle shouted, silencing the stoner-drug dealer immediately.

  “No, no. I want a ride, Ky-Ky,” Jim correctly stated. “Alls I’m sayin’ is that I would like to challenge our new ‘party member’ for ‘shotgun’. What’s so wrong with that?”

  “Because shuh-shuh-she’s a guh-guh-girl,” Derek answered.

  Lowering his brow, Jim asked, “Man! Are, like, NONE of you incel bitches down with equality? Is that what the big deal is? IS IT?!!! FUCKING MALE CHAUVINIST PIGS! That’s what you all are! YOU’RE JUST A BUNCH OF WOMEN HATERS!”

  Proceeding to throw his right fist high up into the air over his head, Jim shouted, “FREE THE NIPPLE!!!”

  In response to Jim’s sudden burst of ‘faux-feminism’, Kyle, Eric, and Derek all narrowed their eyes at him.

  “Ah, for the love of Henry Cavill… FINE!” Sam erupted. “If it’ll make the ‘drama queen’ over here happy then fine! I’ll play his stupid, little game.”

  “REALLY?” Kyle asked Sam in shock.

  “Really, Gold Leader,” Sam said with a smirk to Kyle.

  Turning to Jim now, Sam asked, “Alright, Jimothy, what’s the challenge?”

  “CLASSIC CHALLENGE,” Jim spouted as he proceeded to point over at the Bentley Family’s Mailbox. “RACE FROM THE CAR TO THE MAILBOX AND BACK AGAIN! The first person who makes it back…”

  “Wins?” Sam asked. “Got it. Sounds easy enough, to me.

  “WITH OUR PANTS DOWN AROUND OUR ANKLES,” Jim concluded with a big and slimy, shit-eating grin on his face.

  Sam’s eyes then widened as Jim continued, “Whoever makes it back first without falling on their face gets to ride ‘shotty’ in Ky-Ky’s whip. So, Samantha… MY DEAR. HEH, HEH… Still up for the challenge… OR ARE YA YELLOW???”

  “Yellow? Ah, I see,” Sam nodded. “You’re now channeling Charlie Sheen’s ‘Richard Brewer’ character from ‘Young Guns’. You’re as cliche as they come, aren't you, Jimothy?”

  This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  “Says you,” Eric snapped at Sam, causing her to give him a quick, nasty glare. “You’re the one throwing out all these ‘niche’ nineteen eighties movie references.”

  “Well played, stepbrother… BUT ALAS! If pulling my pants down is what it takes, then fine…. I’LL DO IT,” Sam stated, much to Jim and everyone else’s shock.

  Stepping in between the tomboy and Jim, Kyle said, “Sam, you don’t have…”

  “No, no, Kyle. It’s fine,” Sam interrupted whilst raising her left hand after setting down her skateboard on the ground beside her feet. “I will do it to appease the drama queen.”

  Looking over at Jim once more, Sam asked, “Race to the mailbox and back with our pants pulled down around our ankles, right???”

  “DAMN STRAIGHT!” Jim barked like a dog (or DMX).

  Setting his sights on Eric once more, Jim snapped, “Yo, E! I’m about to see your sis with her pants down! HA-HA!”

  Sam just shook her head as Eric corrected again, “STEPSISTER! STEP! SISTER! AND SHE’S NOT EVEN THAT YET, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!”

  Whilst chuckling at how pissed he had just made Eric (again), Jim, whilst keeping total eye contact with Sam, untied the draw string to the black Basketball Shorts he loaned from Derek and dropped them down around at his ankles.

  The golden silk boxers that Jim had on now nearly blinded Sam and the rest of the guys with their unreal ‘shininess’.

  “Take it all in, Watts,” Jim said to Sam in reference to Mary Stuart Masterson’s ‘Tomboy Character’ from the nineteen eighty-seven cult classic ‘Some Kind of Wonderful’ film. “TAKE IT ALLLL IN!!! HA-HA-HA!!!!!”

  “Just like HALF OF THE TOWN did this earlier this morning down around the Square, I hear,” Sam snickered, causing Jim’s laughter to cease and eyes to widen.

  Kyle and Derek both now let out multiple bouts of laughter whilst even Eric cracked a slight smirk (which he quickly turned back into a puckered frown).

  Lowering his brow and gritting his teeth, Jim said, “Ha-ha-ha… Very funny, BUTCH! Well, what are you waitin’ for? DROP THE DRAWERS, YO!”

  Rolling her eyes, Sam sighed, “Ugh... If I must.”

  Unbuttoning her skinny jeans, Sam bent over and slowly pushed them down her slender legs, revealing the underwear that she was wearing.

  Watching from a ‘rear view’, both Kyle and Derek’s mouths instantly dropped.

  Eric, on the other hand, turned his head away in disgust.

  Pants down around her ankles now, Sam placed hands on her hips and asked whilst locking eyes with Jim once more, “THERE, JIMOTHY. My ‘drawers’ are officially DOWN. So, are you ready to race or what???”

  Eyes widened and mouth dropped, Jim could not take his eyes off of Sam’s ‘pantsless’ self.

  Standing in a state of complete, frozen shock, Jim did not speak one word, nor did he move one single inch either. He just stood there… Seemingly FROZEN in time.

  “Uh… Jim? You good, man?” Kyle asked out of concern whilst staring at his ‘frozen’ friend.

  Jim then mumbled something in gibberish before SUDDENLY falling flat on his face.

  Having fainted slightly due to the utter shock he gained (and felt) from seeing Sam (an ACTUAL GIRL) with her pants down, Jim laid face down before the tomboy and the others.

  “Gee whizz. What a goober,” Sam said whilst shaking her head.

  As she started to pull her jeans back up, Sam remarked with a pleased grin, “Welp. I guess that settles it. To the olde Mall, my fellow GOOBER kinsmen!”

  Looking down at the still currently ‘face planted’ Jim, Kyle said in disgust, “Jesus.”

  “Juh-Jim, are… are you okuh-kuh-kay?” Derek managed to get out.

  “Ugh… I’ll live,” Jim groaned as he started to push himself back up to his hands and knees.

  Whilst he looked around in a haze, Jim asked in a weary tone, “Ugh… What happened?”

  “You finally succumbed to the effects of what you’ve always been, Dingus, and what you ALWAYS will be,” Eric stated as Jim continued to recover from his brief ‘fainting spell’. “A FUCKIN’ SPAZ.”