This time I ate before I went to the Court House to recite the death of the late Mr Cyril Mountbatton. I told Dekka she could go find some children to mooch off of if she would, rather.

  She seemed to think about it but followed me anyway. I told her she was the best dog. Which she just accepted as a simple statement of fact.

  The process was the same. Again, we weren’t blamed for failing our quest. There wasn’t the faintest insinuation that we were terrible adventurers. Just that fatalistic attitude of acceptance.

  I was told there would be another Justicar if we were willing to try again.

  Just how many Justicars did Bistmore have? And what happened if we led them all to their deaths? Would they find more? Did the game have an endless supply of NPCs to die for us to do this quest?

  That thought sickened me. How many times would we try before we gave up?

  I had harassed Copperbeard before he left to try again on that ticket. Really, I wanted to ask Arjun. I had a feeling he would be the most reliable as he seemed to be the one who believed me the most. But I couldn’t bring myself to bother him. The deaths of the NPCs weighed heavily on him. Even more so than they were weighting on me.

  I didn’t like what that said about me. I cared, but not in the way he cared.

  I slept fitfully that night. Tossing and turning, haunted by dreams or nightmares, fighting against the magic of the bed. Interestingly, I didn’t fall asleep and have that sensation of nearly instantaneous time passage when the other players weren’t around.

  I lay awake between fitful bits of sleep. What would happen if I explained to the NPCs that they were in a game? Would they believe me? Would it matter? Would it make things worse? But was it fair for them to literally be pawns for the entertainment of others? Sure, they were ‘just’ code, but that didn’t make it ok.

  Did it?

  The next day I walked around and just people watched. The kids who came up and asked if they could play with Dekka. They looked just like any kid I had seen in the outside world. Real world.

  Was this less real? I bet Mr Bartlett-Craven and Mountbatten, along with those that had died along with me in that dark cave, found it very real.

  I had a hearty stew that night for dinner. The peas in the gravy tasted the same, had the same texture that I could remember. The little meat fibers from the chunks of beef that had been boiled into tenderness got caught in my teeth just like they had when I was on the outside.

  So was this just as real? Was that what Arjun was struggling with? I wanted to ask him. I wanted to talk to someone about these thoughts and feelings I was having. But something told me he wasn’t ready to talk. He was still processing. I had had longer to come to these sorts of realisations.

  What I really wanted was a friend. I was lonely. Even with all the people living full, rich lives around me. Even with the other players. And even with my dog, I was feeling isolated.

  I still hadn’t decided on a stupid fucking class upgrade or whatever it was. Maybe I could talk to Arjun or Copperbeard about that when they came back.

  I had a long time to kill in Bistmore while I awaited the party. To the point I started worrying about my coin. I was debating taking a side quest to get some cash when they showed back up.

  We were a subdued group leaving with our third Justicar. This time it was an older woman. She was spry and wiry. The Right Honourable Ms Emelia P. Wharton. I don’t know why she got a middle initial. But I didn’t want to get to know her because she seemed like a very nice person, and I didn’t need the extra guilt when she inevitably died.

  She thanked me profusely for carrying her luggage and promised to make me the most delicious tea when we got to Engle that evening.

  Ms. Wharton loved plants. And she reminded me of an old tough willow branch; her muscles were all ropy, and her skin dark and mottled with freckles and age spots.

  She told us all about the plants we walked past. If she noticed our lack of engagement she didn't let it bother her. She went on about the native trees and some issues with an invasive vine.

  But she stayed close and never complained if we paused to check for threats. This Justicar would happily spot a weed at her feet and exclaim in delight at some aspect of its growth, unique attributes or some such tidbit of information.

  Annoyingly, I was starting to like her. She cheerfully told us she could walk and eat when the sun hit midday. Dammit, I did like her.

  She had tossed a bit of her cheese to Dekka earlier at one of our stops, this one where Arjun was checking out a disturbance behind us. Dekka looked up at me as we started off again.

  “I know, I know,” I said, looking down into her intelligent brown eyes. “I like her too.”

  Dekka cocked her head at me.

  “We will do our best to make sure she doesn’t die,” I tried to reassure her. I am not sure if she believed me or if she decided to do her part, but for the first time outside of a fight, she took on her hellhound form.

  This also delighted the old lady. She started to ask questions but then said. “Oh, dear, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t be distracting you, should I?” And then promptly shut up.

  I just bet she had grandchildren who adored her. Fucking hell, she better not die on my watch. I took my club from my hand and held it at the ready.

  This meant that when the bear showed up late afternoon, we were ready. I don’t know if it was the same bear. But this game had a habit of keeping beast types tied to an area. The track to Engle was bear territory.

  The bear rushed us, roaring. Dekka stood her ground and roared back at it. Though she looked like a huge hellbeast, she still sounded like an angry wet racoon.

  The bear was not impressed.

  “Form up!” Arjun called, his shield already up, sword out and rushing to put himself between the mages and the oncoming bear.

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  Copperbeard hadn’t needed the cue as his fingers were already strumming.

  Ayerelia moved toward Ms. Wharton and cast her dome of healing centred around the woman’s slight form.

  Darkraven stepped into the healing circle, adding another layer of protection between our Justicar and the threat. I saw that her hands were glowing and, deciding the party was well deployed, I turned all my attention to the bear. I wasn’t even weirded out by the too many eyes staring back at me with hate and hunger.

  I tightened my grip on the club and felt the heat rising in my veins; all the hair stood up on my arms like I were electrified. I grinned at the hulking beast. It stood up on its back legs and took a swipe at Dekka. She leapt aside easily though missed the bear’s paw with her teeth as she dodged.

  I roared back at it. Taunting it. Challenging it. I wish I had a shield to bang with my club. Now that would be glorious.

  Still grinning, I looked over at my fellow fighter.

  And my smile faltered. He was looking at me with … horror. No disappointment. I felt bad for a moment. But then the bear dropped to all fours and began running the last few lengths toward us now that the hellhound blocking it had cleared the path.

  The bear thundered closer, all matted fur and rippling muscle. I loosened my shoulders and readied my stance.

  “Eyes down!” Ayerelia shouted, and for a split second the world flared white.

  Her blinding spell went off, thankfully with just enough warning for me to scrunch my eyes very tight. And even then I could see a few spots and afterimages.

  Unfortunately, it seemed to only momentarily disorient the beast. The bear was fine using its nose and ears to find us.

  Dekka took that moment of distraction and bolted forward she lept at the bear and grabbed onto its thigh. The bear bellowed and spun. When it realised it couldn’t get her with its teeth, it slashed out with its claws trying to sweep the painful opponent attached to its rear end.

  “Now!” Arjun charged. He slammed into the bear’s shoulder, shield raised, his sword flashing. His blow knocked the bear off balance.

  I aimed [Crippling Blow] at one of the bear’s front legs. It hit with a solid thud. But nothing broke. The bear bellowed in pain and anger but didn’t seem that damaged.

  I glanced at my club.

  It looked fine.

  What was the con stat on that beast? Now that I took a moment to really look at it. It was acting more angry than scared. Dekka was pissing it off more than she was harming it.

  Oh shit. I had thought this wouldn’t be too bad. The five of us were ready and prepared against one bear. But the bear was a tank. An offensive tank.

  I found laughter welling up from deep inside me. I wasn’t afraid; I was thrilled. A challenge. I could hit this creature many, many times.

  Copperbeard’s voice rose behind us—deep, rolling, commanding:

  “When danger stalks an old dear soul,

  We’ll not let death collect its toll!

  Stand firm, stand strong, my friends

  This time we change how th’ story ends.”

  The rhythm was infectious, a pulse that steadied my breathing and pushed strength into my arms. My club felt lighter, and not that I needed it with my blood up, but I felt even more confident that the bear would not get the nice Justicar.

  I darted in on Arjun’s right and brought it down hard on the bear’s leg. [Targeted Hit.] I felt bone flex under the impact. But again it didn’t break.

  The bear roared, finally focusing on me, and twisted, trying to take a swipe at me, but Arjun bashed its paw aside with his shield. The force of it drove the swordsman to one knee, but he pushed back, held his ground, pinning the paw against the bear’s body.

  This would have been better had our roles been reversed. My club was only bruising the bear, enraging it more than anything. His sword might be more effective.

  “Duck” Darkraven called, and then frost blossomed across the bear’s back as she loosed a barrage of [Frost Bolt]. The creature shuddered and tried to shake the cold from its fur.

  “Drat!” I heard her exclaim. I am not sure what she had been intending, but I was pretty sure giving it frosted tips was not it.

  Dekka let go of the leg and launched forward and latched onto the bear’s neck, her shadow-form hard to make out against the bear. The only difference was the change in texture.

  The creature roared, staggered, and tried to shake her loose, blood matting her fur but not slowing her.

  “Hold on, girl!” I yelled.

  The bear twisted violently, sending Arjun staggering backward. He hit a tree and dropped to one knee, gasping. Ayerelia’s healing field flickered and steadied again, bathing him in light.

  “Still here!” he called, forcing himself up.

  “You’re fine,” she said briskly, though she sounded slightly out of breath from maintaining two spells simultaneously. “Don’t get hit again.”

  Copperbeard struck another chord, his voice growing louder, rougher:

  “By beard and song, by club and blade,

  We’ll see this granny’s farewells stayed!

  Oh, strike true ‘an slice fast.

  This bear’s fight shall be its last!”

  The rhythm surged. I charged in time with it, bringing my club down on the creature’s skull. Our bard had seen the issue. Even with boosted power, I wasn’t likely going to bash it. We needed our sword’s man, and he needed to be swift to get a good opening.

  I charged in and tried to keep the bear’s eyes on me. Dekka was still hanging off its neck, but she failed to dodge a paw and was flung free. I gasped, but she seemed ok, the claws only raking through the shadow body, only scratching her actual body.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw her run toward the healing dome. Why wasn’t the healing dome over us fighting?

  Then I had to roll and dodge and ended up 20 feet on the other side of the bear. Oh, maybe we would be hard to stay on. But really, there had to be a better way.

  Focus, I admonished myself. The bear had turned to face Arjun, who was parrying its teeth and claws with admirable alacrity. However, he wasn’t able to get past them and strike the bear.

  I couldn’t ride horses, maybe I could ride a bear? This thought brought me great amusement, and before I could decide if it was a good idea, I tucked my club in my belt and ran forward, hands out. I hit the bear from behind and then, pulling on its fur; I vaulted onto its back.

  The bear did not like this.

  That I expected. I did not expect it to roll immediately, the one move that could easily thwart my bear riding plans.

  Dekka sprung back into the fray and nipped at the bear’s nose, causing it to back up and stop contemplating the stop, drop, and roll routine.

  I clambered forward. The bear smelled terrible. Like rotten meat and dank moss. Its fur was coarse and a bit greasy, but I held on with massive handfuls and pulled myself along till I was right behind its head.

  Gripping its neck with my thighs as best I could, I reached forward and covered its eyes with my hands.

  “Peak a boo mother fucker” I said and glanced at the party to see if my clever move had impressed anyone. Ayerelia looked annoyed, which was normal. Darkraven looked a bit impressed, which was satisfying. Ms. Wharton missed it though as she was behind the elves and the bard. And I missed seeing what the bard thought of my daring as the bear shook its head frantically like a dog shaking water after a bath.

  “Now!” I yelled to Arjun. Back to taking this fight a bit more seriously.

  I missed what he did, but the bear’s bellow turned into a gurgle.

  Yes!

  My triumph was a bit premature. The bear reached around with its paw and sunk its claws into my leg, which was now dangling down the opposite shoulder.

  White hot pain blossomed as the bear ripped me from my perch. I was flung like a rag doll to the ground, and I could hear my trousers rip. At least I hoped that sound was just my trousers and not my skin.

  The pain was overwhelming, and I could barely breathe. I looked up, and all I saw was bear. I couldn’t make sense of what part of the beast I was looking at; it was just a wall of dark moving fur. And dripping blood.

  Then I saw teeth. An open mouth. Oh, interesting. The back of its tongue was serrated.

  Fuck, was this how I died again? I was too calm; this must be shock. How odd to have shock in a game? I watched the teeth get closer, and time stretched.

  Then a sword came up from underneath and pierced the bear’s lower jaw, and continued on through the tongue up into the palate, and I assume out the top of its snout.

  The bear understandably lost interest in me. It couldn’t bite me anymore with a sword through its face.

  I closed my eyes. Waiting for healing or death to come. I was hoping for whatever was faster as the pain was terrible, yet oddly the pain didn’t matter.

  The bear convulsed beside me and then was still.

  30XP!

  You have received - mantle of the bear - light armour (rare)

  Oh good, it was dead.

  If someone didn’t act quickly, I would be right behind it.