The battle below them was most assuredly complete, with the majority of the Pirates’ fleet now rusting at the bottom of the bay as GoonStorm and the Ursa celebrated. Jimmy sighed and started moving back to the interior of the Hub, checking his phone as he went. He slipped on the roof and righted himself, stopping at the ladder to scowl at the content his phone was producing.

  “The Battle of Illusion Bay, they’re calling it. The moment the Pirates lost the war for the city. That . . . sucks.” He was uncharacteristically somber, shaking his head again as he watched the comments pour in, confirming that the games community agreed with his assessment.

  “How can we help?” Gadot spoke in a small voice, stopping to stand beside Jimmy as Kurt climbed down the ladder first.

  “I dunno. I feel like hurting some Goons, though.” Jimmy said, looking up at Gadot.

  “Hurting Goons is always a good time. Let’s go.” She smiled up at him, stepping onto the ladder. “I need to work on Eleanor, anyway. I think I figured out my first tier upgrade.”

  Kurt scowled at that, drawing the Messenger and scanning it. The scan sheet spit out the usual information, but this time he saw a small counter in the bottom corner. It read ‘3/25’ and had only a single line of information as a hint.

  He rubbed an eye in frustration, his face scrunched up. “What the . . . what does that mean?”

  “Hm?” Gadot slid down the last few rungs and landed next to Kurt, eyeing the Messenger in his hand. “Oh, that’s your unique? That’s pretty sweet.”

  “Yeah, but I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing to upgrade it.” He frowned at the scan. “It just says, ‘Prostrate before it, they knew the message before it arrived.’ There’s a three out of twenty-five count, so I must have done it at some point . . .”

  “Well that’s just maddeningly unhelpful.” Jimmy delivered the line with the appropriate accent, making Kurt smile in spite of his less than pleasant mood.

  “Not entirely,” Gadot said, missing the film reference. “These things are typically thematic to the item in question. So for example, I got Eleanor, from the Gone in Sixty Seconds remake. I’ve seen that one, so I know in the last big cop chase the main character drives the car without damaging her, but when he does, she stops working as well.” Gadot pulled up her phone. “I got a movie line from that scene, so I figured that driving without collisions while the heat was on me would trigger an upgrade. Turns out I was correct, and that’s what’ll unlock my first rank. I need one hundred miles unscathed with at least a four bar heat on me. Once I take collision damage, I get to keep what miles I made so far, but I need to get a fresh heat to keep going.” She paused for a breath. “So! All we have to do is decipher your riddle.”

  Jimmy looked up at the open hatch above them with a grimace. “With a gun it’s almost always linked to how you get kills.” He began climbing the ladder again, banging the hatch above them shut before descending in a slide. The ground shook heavily beneath him as he landed in a puff of dust from the armor. “Hehe, oops.”

  “Yeah, that’s kills for sure.” Gadot glared down for a moment. “Did you get any when they knew you were about to kill them?”

  “Yeah, plenty. More than three for sure.” Kurt cocked his head to the side. “Hang on . . . I got three really specific kills, where the player I killed knew exactly what was about to happen and couldn’t do anything about it.” He thought back to the terrified man in the restaurant, then Molly right after him, and finally the poor bastard he had hidden within the smoke-filled room. “Yeah, I think I got it. They have to know I’m about to kill them with the Messenger, but not be able to do anything about it.”

  “Well, there you go. I solved it. Easy fix. You’re welcome.” Jimmy turned to face Gadot, cracking his armored knuckles in a cloud of dust. “Shall we away my darling?”

  She scowled at him before looking back to her phone. “Don’t talk like that, please, it’s super weird. But yes, let’s go kill some Goons.” Finished with her phone, she swiped it away. “What are you working on?”

  “Oh, just Big Bore still. There’s a gun I’m after, pretty sure it’s tied to that. It shoots really big bullets. I found it on the old web, there’s no way they didn’t put this one in.” Jimmy shouldered his BAR as they started walking away. He shouted over his weapon back at Kurt. “You should go kill some Goons too, dude, we need to thin the herd if we’re gonna have a chance.”

  “Yeah, I plan to. Hey, be around early tomorrow, please!” Kurt watched them leave, still working on his plans for the night. Standing thoughtfully, Kurt narrowed his eyes and gazed into the doorway his friends had used.

  Tigg walked up beside him and crossed her arms, tilting her head at him. “Assault course?”

  Kurt took a deep breath through his nose, turning away from her and moving to the couch. He pulled up his phone and swiped to his saved vehicle customization for the Testarossa. “No thanks Tigg. I’ll need Drake, though.” Stopping his work, Kurt looked around the room, his eyes settling on the bronze coffee machine beside the bar. He stood with a smile and made himself a steaming cup. Sitting back down at the bar, Kurt continued working on his design, tilting his wrist to share it with Drake when he arrived. They went back and forth for most of an hour, finally settling on a design that Drake assured Kurt would perform to his unconventional requests.

  “It won’t do it long, mind — that’s a lot of structural damage with each hit. But with those special modifications, it’ll do what you want.” Drake held up his black plastic phone and tilted it sideways, a small smile on his face. “Yeah, that’s an unusual request. Should I get started on it now?”

  “No, I have other stuff to do first. I’ll let you know.” Kurt paused, glancing at Drake’s phone. “Hey, where can I get one of those?”

  Drake frowned in confusion, looking at the phone in his palm. “Ask your attaché. I just do the garage work.” With that he left, muttering under his breath.

  Watching him go, Kurt smiled wryly before taking the grouchy NPC’s advice. He texted his attaché about getting him a plastic phone and adding the looper consumable to his normal shopping list before setting a waypoint to his safehouse. He noted with some frustration that his armor had been dropped off there instead of the Hub. Shaking his head, Kurt decided to check the spawn and drop off points options later and went out to his car.

  As he drove through the city, he did his utmost to avoid the GoonStorm patrols and constant heat. He noticed in certain areas that the red and blue lights of the heat were attached to military vehicles, indicating a ten bar in progress. Kurt avoided those zones in particular. The short drive ended up taking him half an hour, way longer than usual. He was annoyed, and looked forward to disrupting GoonStorm activity, once properly equipped. Once at his personal safehouse he gave Leo a call, and had the quartermaster come over. He waited impatiently while sipping coffee from the bar at the back of the train car.

  After a short wait, a pleasant chime sounded from his door and Kurt walked over to answer it, standing aside to let Leo wheel his cart inside. As the train rumbled onwards once more, Kurt and Leo sat and discussed what Kurt needed for the next day.

  “Upgrades.” Kurt sighed.

  Leo’s eyebrows raised slightly as he tilted his head. “How wonderfully vague. Shall we attempt to clarify a bit?”

  Kurt smiled, leaning forward and setting his mug down in the cupholder to his side. “Sure thing. I need my armor upgraded as much as possible. Ignore stealth, pile all the strength onto it that you can.” He began to strip out of his gear, arranging it on the bench next to him. Once he was down to his standard white boxers, he opened his wardrobe and stood back as a fresh dummy slid out on its track. Loading his gear onto it, he spoke over his shoulder to Leo, who took notes of his requests. “I’ll also need the most powerful pure damage rounds I can get for a .357 magnum.”

  Once his normal outfit was equipped onto the mannequin Kurt smiled and swiped his phone to save it. The track activated, and the saved outfit slid back into the cabinet, replaced by a dummy wearing a full suit of GoonStorm apparel, complete with armor and helmet. Kurt got dressed, strapping the Messenger to his hip instead of trying to hide it. It felt awkward there, and Kurt hated the heavy armored vest that came with the outfit, but he shrugged a few times to get used to the weight and turned back to Leo.

  The quartermaster grimaced slightly at the outfit and tilted his head. “That is a very cheap holster. I could equip you with a better one if you like.”

  Kurt patted the holster in reference. “No thanks. Came with the outfit. I don’t expect to survive my next errand, so no point losing good gear.”

  This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  Leo shrugged, sparing one last disdainful glance at the holster. “The ammunition you requested.” He waved a hand nonchalantly at the seat beside Kurt, drawing his eyes to a box of rounds. Kurt opened it and inspected the strange looking bullets.

  “Those are Shredder rounds, among the most effective ammo a man can buy. Also ludicrously expensive, but something tells me you don’t much care about the cost,” Leo explained.

  The round was jacketed in a silvery metal, with a series of serrated copper blades rising from the shell, coming together to form a hollow point with jagged edges. Kurt turned it over in his palm, peering to make out the detail on the segmented coppery area. “No, sir, I do not. Good against armor?”

  “Oh, indeed.” Leo reached out and took the shell gently from Kurt. “This hollow point round expands on impact, sending each of these hardened copper blades slicing into the target. The result is massive tissue damage and extreme lethality, even on heavily armored targets.” He dropped the shell into Kurt’s palm. “And all for the low cost of forty-seven dollars per round. Special rate for you, of course.”

  Kurt’s eyes nearly boggled at that, but a quick scan of the round showed a 75% armor piercing rate, along with a special notification that if the round over-penetrated the target, it would perform much the same as a shotgun blast, with several projectiles emerging in a spread instead of a single round. That clinched it for him, and he filled his special ammunition with two thousand rounds. “This is perfect, thanks Leo. Oh, I need a box of frag grenades too.”

  Once his holster’s two magazine pouches were filled, Kurt adjusted his helmet and stepped to the bar, placing his ECM device in its charger.

  Leo stood with a small groan as the train rumbled to a stop. “Best of luck out there. I’ll have your armor delivered within an hour.” He moved to the door and paused. “You want a little backup?” When Kurt shook his head in reply, Leo nodded, lingering in the doorway. “Well, don’t forget you have friends. You’re one of us.” He gave Kurt a respectful nod and ducked his head as he left the train.

  Kurt looked himself up and down, grimacing at the GoonStorm outfit, and breathed out a sigh. “Damn straight I am.”

  A few minutes later, he was walking the streets with nothing but the Messenger strapped to his hip and a pocketful of MK 2 fragmentation grenades. He started jogging as he saw a GoonStorm Humvee turn the corner, raising both hands to flag them down. The Humvee slid to a stop across the street from him, though the gunner swiveled to face him as he approached to speak to the driver.

  “Holy crap am I glad to see you guys! My squad and I split up to lose the heat and they must have ditched me.” He looked nervously around. “There’s Pirates all over the place. Can I get a ride?”

  “Pirates this deep? Get in, show us where.” The driver slapped at the side of his door, and the door behind him popped open to allow Kurt inside. He happily squeezed in beside another player, moving to avoid the feet of the gunner in the middle of the cabin.

  “One of those terrifying flamer bus things chased me around about two blocks over, but I lost ‘em by running into the subway and coming back up over there.” Kurt pointed through the windshield, leaning forward. “Just head towards the freeway, I’m sure you won’t miss ‘em.” His eyes darted between the other players, gauging their reactions.

  The gunner slapped the roof with a cheer as the driver eagerly took off, chirping the tires. “Hell yeah, that’s a ton of rep! Let’s go get ‘em, boys!”

  Kurt smiled and sat back. He looked between the three men in the cabin, happy to see them ignoring him. “Hey, guys, you think you could help me out a little? I just started the other day and I’m working on an unlock.”

  The passenger in the rear compartment glanced at him. “Sure, what do you need?”

  Kurt hauled the Messenger from its holster, letting it dangle from the trigger guard. “I lucked into a critical early battle last night and got rewarded with this thing. My first unique.”

  Now he had the passengers’ attention, as the man turned in his seat to ogle the gun. “Holy shit, this guy’s got a unique!” Both men in the front seat craned to see, the driver using his rearview mirror as Kurt happily held it up for them to see.

  Even the gunner crouched to peer between his legs at the weapon. “Those get upgrades with riddles, I hear.”

  Kurt ran a hand over the slide, gripping the gun with his finger extended over the trigger guard. “Yeah, exactly what I’m working on. So I got my first riddle and I think I got it figured out. I just need to kill players with it while they know I’m going to.” He waved the gun around in the air a bit, watching with a small smile as the passenger beside him followed it. “So now I’m going to kill all of you with it.”

  The passenger at his side stopped smiling and got a confused look on his face as Kurt pointed the gun at him with a smile and squeezed the trigger. He turned and pressed the Messenger to the back of the front seat passenger’s head and fired again, turning to shoot the gunner in the crotch as he scrambled to climb down into the cabin and respond. The driver started shouting an obscenity as he struggled to get his own sidearm unholstered, but Kurt just leaned over and shook his head before shooting the man point blank in the ear. He sat back and buckled his seat belt as the Humvee rolled to a stop against a nearby building front.

  When Kurt opened the door, a cloud of black smoke poured out from the vehicle and he stepped down into it, reaching into a pocket. He produced a grenade and pulled the pin, casually tossing it into the open door behind him before walking away. Kurt scanned the Messenger and was pleased to see a boost of four in his tally, bringing it up to seven of twenty-five. The Humvee erupted behind him as he continued walking while pulling up his map. “Awesome. Now to go find some more new friends.” He grinned as another digital blue camo-painted Humvee appeared on the road ahead of him.

  Kurt’s night passed in a blur as he worked on his upgrades and ground at his skillset, while tormenting GoonStorm forces in the Downtown Cluster. As the sun began to rise over Illusion, he pulled into the dockside Hub with a GoonStorm Humvee. Drake stepped out from behind Gadot’s new Mustang, wiping his hands on a rag while scowling. The car was smoking lightly, riddled with bullet holes across the front end. “Why’d you bring that trash here?”

  “Sorry, Drake, gonna need it later. Get her patched up for me, please? No need to refill the ammo though.” He stepped out, now dressed in his starter outfit of black jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt. The Messenger was tucked safely into his starter holster at the small of his back. When Drake gave him a surly nod, Kurt smiled and left the garage for the Hub proper but stopped at the doorway. “Oh, and get the Ferrari ready with the new design, please.” Drake waved dismissively at him, already peering at the varying bullet holes and scorch marks on the Humvee.

  As Kurt entered the sitting room, he could hear Jimmy and Gadot laughing and talking, seemingly in better spirits. He walked in to see Gadot lounging on the couch, listening to Jimmy tell an amusing story as she giggled and swiped through her phone.

  Jimmy looked up as he entered and smiled widely. “Hey! Where you been all night, man?”

  “Oh, you know, out making friends.” Kurt walked to the coffee bar and pressed the button on the machine, waiting eagerly for a steaming cup. “Took a quick break earlier, but mostly just grinding all night.” He walked back to the couches with it, sitting as his phone chimed a call alert. He swiped to see a com request from Kitty, noticing the others also pull up their phones. They all joined the com channel.

  “Okay, good, I have you all. Meeting time. You guys ready?” Kitty sounded cheerful, almost manic, and Kurt knit his eyebrows in concern.

  “Uh, sure. What meeting? Why are you so happy, Kitty?” Kurt was wary, confused and mildly frightened. He knew from intimate experience that it was rarely a good thing when Kitty was so pleased with herself.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she practically chirped back at him. “Don’t worry about it, Kurtis, I’m not after you. I do need you guys at the meeting, though. It’s in, like, ten minutes at the waypoint I just texted you all. You guys good with that?”

  Gadot shook her head. “Not really. Why do we need to attend? What is this meeting anyway?”

  “Oh, acting like this isn’t your war won’t get you far with me, Getaway.” Kitty’s tone took a turn for the severe before reverting to cheery. “It’s a war counsel. All the factions have to attend or there’s no peace talks. No idea why you guys have to be there, honestly. The Goons are insisting. I suspect they just want to see their tormentors and give us another shot at that buyout.”

  “So you want us to go refuse it for you?” Jimmy sounded confused as he squinted at his phone. “The meet up is in GoonStorm turf. When we piss them off . . .”

  “Aww, I keep forgetting you’re scared of the Goons, JimJam. Sowwy.” Kitty put on her best condescending voice, causing Jimmy to scoff. “Anyway, no, you’re not there for me. I sent my guys with a little AV setup so I can participate. I’m really busy right now, and I would love it if you guys could keep them distracted just a little bit for me.”

  “Sure, Kitty, we’ll be there.” Kurt ended the call, looking over at Jimmy and Gadot. A text had come through from Jimbo, and he shook his head as he readied to share it with his friends. They hung up with Kitty and turned to look at him as he extended his wrist towards them.

  “’We go directly from the meeting.’” Jimmy read out loud, scowling. “That’s . . . not helpful.”

  Kurt nodded. “I have no doubt that’s the point. He’s keeping us as uninformed as he can, keeping us from being prepared.”

  Gadot nodded, looking at Kurt intently. “Okay, so what do we need to be prepared for?”

  Shaking his head, Kurt squinted and thought for a moment. “Everything, really.” He pointed at Jimmy. “Back-up. I’ll need you to come running when I call, ‘cause I won’t know when to hit him until the moment is on me. You also likely won’t be able to come with us, so you’ll need to tail us without getting caught.”

  “So, ready for a fight?” Jimmy looked at him with an unimpressed stare, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and leaning back in a relaxed posture.

  Kurt smiled at him, chuckling. “Yeah, pretty much.” He turned to Gadot. “We’re going to have the whole city after us if we pull this off. With that much dirty cash we won’t be in one of your Mustangs for the escape.”

  “I’ll run support, then. One of you will drive whatever transport they have it loaded in — that’s always how these deals go down.” Gadot tied her hair back, leaning forward in her seat. “I’ll be in the air above you, dealing with tanks and so on as we go. I bought just the toy for this job the other day. Can’t wait to try her out.”

  Rubbing his hands together, Kurt stood up. “Right. That’s as good as it gets. We steal the take, drive it to our Stronghold . . . somehow.”

  “We’ll probably have to raid a Hub, dude. We’re gonna get smoked before we get to the door,” Jimmy said while grinning, fingers laced together behind his head. “Naw, don’t even sweat it. I’m sure we’ll be fine.” He grunted and swung his weight forward, standing up in a hop that shook the floor and rained dust from his armor. “We already lost the war anyway. May as well take a last shot at this.”

  Kurt scowled. “Shit, I have to go to my safehouse and get equipped first. No way I’ll make it in time.”

  “Oh, that’s easy, man, just set your spawn point there and shoot yourself,” Jimmy said.

  Drawing the Messenger, Kurt stared at it for a second before shaking his head. “I don’t think I can.”

  “I got you, buddy. No worries.” Jimmy smiled, drew his double-barreled handgun, and fired it from the hip.

  Kurt’s world went black to the sound of the gunshot.